#majorproject

It is clear that my project has underwent some major shifts in direction and theme throughout the year. What began as an infrared film project became a very personal self-portrait series exploring the navigation and open expression of my own queer identity from my own countryside village. One key turning point and reason for this change was me beginning to explore my own personal connection to Annbank as I used myself as a subject for my infrared film work. Doing this allowed the work to feel more personal which is something that was suggested I explore during my panel presentation at the beginning of the year, when they said an infrared project on its own wouldn't feel substantial or culturally significant enough. Upon reflection, the infrared photos I was taking of my self almost always had my face covered, which I think was in part due to me not being completely comfortable with getting my photo taken at this stage. Doing this did however bring a certain thoughtful and reflective feel to the images, which I think complemented the landscapes I got of the village itself, which with the help of influences such as Fay Godwin also had their own peaceful and expansive feeling to them which I think captures the energy of the rural landscape well.

I then began to think more about this peaceful landscape and my connection to it as a backdrop for the project. Meanwhile, me getting shortlisted for the Portrait of Britain Award made me realise how much I enjoyed my bedroom project from 3rd year and the themes of queer identity that accompanied it, and that this is something other people are also interested in. This is where the project began to take the form of full body self-portraits, using myself as a subject to communicate my own queer identity while using my home village as a backdrop, with a key effect in my head of there being a visual contrast between the loud, bold appearance of myself in various outfits and the peaceful rural landscape.

Upon reflection, I certainly would have benefitted from doing some research into some queer photography before I began exploring this visually. I knew at this early stage that I didn't want my project to become a fashion-based one, however going in with only this visual idea I had in my head resulted in my first shoot looking like exactly that, with it not being clear what themes I was trying to communicate. After some valuable discussion with my lecturers and mentors, I realised that this fashion look was down to two key factors: my posing and my lighting. Highlighting the importance and the subsequent changing of these two things was a major benefit to the project as it went on. The influence of Rineke Dijkstra's simple yet effective lighting techniques allowed me to stand out from my surroundings instead of blending in with them. Furthermore, referencing Catherine Opie's deadpan but formal posing of her own subjects to imply a sense of dignity, as well as other queer portraiture of the 90's made my obscurity within the landscape much more apparent. This deadpan posing style also made the shoots go a lot smoother, as I was was not as occupied with how I should pose like in my first shoot and was now able to focus a bit more on the photography aspect than the modelling aspect, as acting as both was certainly a major hardship I experienced with this project. That being said, I would have definitely benefitted from using an assistant for these shoots, because after getting my lighting and framing the way I want, I could have focused on being the subject rather than the tedious task of going back and forth to the camera while on a 10 second timer.

Meeting with my mentors Ben Reilly and Erica Eyres and gaining their insight was highly beneficial to the project. At the early stages when I was becoming more confident about the style and themes of my project, Ben directed me towards some major queer figures such as Peter Hujar and Divine. Their influence manifested mostly in how I presented myself as a subject, encouraging me to go 'all out' with how queer I was portraying myself which made me exaggerate my makeup and outfits so the campy, over the top aesthetic that is associated with queer identities was present and stood out amongst Annbank's rural backdrop. It is worth mentioning how I visited clown makeup or assuming a clown persona more than once in the project. Initially, I thought I did this to help me stand out amongst my surroundings and appear the most unusual. However, with the second time I feel I had developed the makeup and even the persona more, and after looking into the work of Cindy Sherman, who was another major influence for this project, I realised there was an underlying reason of the clown representing me, as a queer person, not taking myself too seriously, which is what I was trying to also communicate with these particular portraits. Erica, whom I was glad to have gotten more of a fine-art perspective from the project, commented on these clown personas I was assuming and how it could be perceived as an demonstration of Queer people assuming a character to give them a heightened sense of confidence and the psychological reasoning for this. This was especially apparent when viewed alongside portraits where I was portraying myself. This was a very interesting avenue I wish I had explored further within the project.

For the end of year degree show, we have two large boards each in which to showcase our work. I am in agreement about what Erica said regarding printing as large as possible so the celebration and statement aspect of queer identities is physically apparent by their almost lifelike size.

Knowing I wanted to print very large, likely A0, I thought about what combination of images I wanted to display:

Consideration 1:

These two images from my last shoot work well together visually, capturing the same outfit and having the same colour scheme. I also like the contrast between the vast open landscape depicted on the left and the very close up, small details depicted on the right. Both work together well to communicate what the project is about in a way that I think draws the viewer's curiosity in.

Consideration 2:

I also considered showing my two clown portraits together. I think visually they are both very eye-catching with the makeup and outfits, while still appearing different in these respects and the development in my persona from the first on the right and second on the left is also apparent. The clowns are very obscure and I think they would also draw in people's curiosity at the degree show and would encourage them to ask questions regarding the work, which is always a benefit. However, I am aware of it feeling repetitive and choosing two different portraits would give some variation and communicate more about the project as a whole. As seen above, I would crop the clown picture so that the framing of each subject was the same.

Consideration 3:

These are the two self-portraits I have decided to print at A0 for the show. I thought back to what Erica said about Queer people exploring and assuming a character or persona to become someone else and gain more confidence, and we agreed these two images best represented that: real subject on the right, persona on the left. Furthermore, the subjects themselves are so different in appearance that people looking at them together may be surprised to learn it is the same person, which I think would add another level of interest. The backdrops in each make it really clear they were taken in a rural space, with both standing out really well from each.

Printers

I looked at a selection of Glasgow-based printers that offered large, poster size prints. I did consider deadly digital but printing with them at A0 was simply far outside my budget.

I knew I wanted a lustre/satin for the prints as this would work best for the images to display the skin tones accurately, while also maintaining sharp detail and the richness of the colours. The weight/density of the paper became a key consideration for me as well. Many of the places I contacted didn't offer any satin paper above 170gsm which was quite thin, and I knew I wanted thicker than this to give off a more professional appearance and because of the size of the prints.

I have decided to title my series The Villager, because after landing on the title "The Village" for a while, I felt this referred more to the place, whereas "The Villager" I feel better refers to the person specifically and their relationship to the place, which is what the project is about.

Below is the order I want my images to be seen in, as well as titles I have given them after Erica suggested titling them, even if it is a simple description, to give each image and the overall series a bit more depth.

Untitled #1

Self-portrait #1

Self-portrait #2

Self-portrait #3

Untitled #2

Self-portrait #4

Self-portrait #5

For my final Shoot, I wanted to capture myself again in my outfit from Shoot 4, as I feel that it has potential but due to the lighting of said shoot it didn't look as effective visually as I had wanted it to. I also wanted to instead sit on things like a fence this time to situate myself within the environment like I did in my last shoot because I liked the results so much.

Contact Sheets

Lighting wise, it was very sunny for most of the shoot so I used two full power flash guns, one positioned more to the left of the subject and another slightly to the right of the camera.

Posing wise, I again referred back to Opie's formal posing of her subjects, thinking it would work with there being a somewhat eccentric subject that doesn't blend in with the surrounding, but posed more formally to imply a sense of dignity.

For this shoot I shot with a 40mm prime lens as I knew I wanted to get more of the landscape in this shoot. I decided to shoot at a fence that was next to a very old water trough, as there was a lot of open countryside behind that showed the vastness of the landscape, while providing more than enough context as to where the resulting images were taken. After the initial part of the shoot ended up falling and got first on my knees. I then remembered what Erica said about the benefit of having details like the picture of my heels for adding context to the project, so I took this further and got some pictures of my knees and socks.

Edited Images

With this image I was drawn to how I was sat on the fence, when shooting I felt like I would look too awkward trying to balance myself on the fence but I was pleased to learn I looked quite calm and natural which was drawn to, not to mention me sitting on said fence does really well for situating and framing me within the expansive landscape. In post, I dropped the exposure of the vast sky so that it would look even more moody and help the subject to stand out, as well as the tall grass in the bottom right to also help with this.

I also tried sitting on the water trough, while using the rule of thirds for a more balanced composition. I felt this pose looked the most natural, albeit a bit formal, out of those I got from changing my position. In post I brought the exposure of the whole image up by about half a stop, then I darkened the areas of grass that surrounded the subject to make the almost glowing white of the outfit stand out even more from the surroundings.

I settled on this image for the details shot, the composition is simple but the closeup reveals the details of the bows and the mud which I think draws the viewer in. I dint do much to this image other than adjust the whites of the socks as they were a bit too intense. the green of the grass was also a bit too cold so I changed the hue slightly to match the warmer, softer feeling of the image.

Final Images

I was pleased to have gotten two finals from this last shoot. I chose the self-portrait (right) because the subject is positioned very well within the frame, with the trees in the background being positioned perfectly to help them stand out even more, while they are posed formally to imply a sense of dignity. The sky looks very dramatic and vast which adds to the overall feel of the sweeping landscape and I think it captures the essence of the countryside. Moreover, the subject still dominates the frame regardless thanks to the subtle lighting I used and overall creates a very well lit, compositionally balanced image.

I am also glad to have gotten another close, up detailed shot to add context and break up the series of final images a bit. The brown of the mud stands out well against the otherwise white socks and I feel there is something subtle about the harshness of the mud and the dainty, soft appearance of the bows.

My previous shoot made me realise that simply sitting on things, such as walls, the ground, fences, is a great way of situating myself within the countryside environment for my self portraits, and better communicate visually my personal connection to the landscape as Erica suggested I try.

This log is situated in the very middle of this open wooded space and I knew it would be a great location for this shoot and for something for me to sit on. The openness allows a great amount of light in while still feeling enclosed, so I will be able to use my lighting without it appearing too flashy and contrasty, which I now know was likely a key factor in why I didn't like the images from Shoot 4.

Posing

Because I was sitting instead of standing for most of this shoot, I referenced some more of Catherine Opie's portraits, particularly the ones below, as she often has her subjects seated while still having them maintain a deadpan look at the camera while still appearing natural, and because I wasn't sure about things like what to do with my hands etc so referencing her before this shoot I would say helped.

Contact Sheets

I decided to use the outfit I wore for my very first shoot, as I felt the amount of red would help the subject to stand out amongst the otherwise green and brown woods, and I wanted to see how it would look under my lighting after I changed it from the first shoot. I used just one full power flash just off to the left of the camera and about half way between the subject and camera. Applying the rule of thirds to my composition when shooting while sitting on the log really helped provide a nice, balanced composition and the way the log was situated in the space helped perfectly with this. I also did some of my usual full body portraits in another nearby space to be safe.

Edited Images

The initial image was a bit too dark in the surrounding wooded areas so I brought up the darks and shadows so that the details here could still be seen and the subject didn't stand out too much within the surroundings. The sky was also a very strong blue so I dropped the lightness of this so that it wasn't distracting from the subject. This image was the strongest from this part of the shoot because there was a nice circle of light along the ground around the subject that helps to frame them nicely within the space. Furthermore, my posing felt the most natural while still not appearing too much or forced.

With this full body portrait, the subject was a bit dark so I brought the exposure up on this specifically to bring them out from the shaded surroundings. Like the last image the sky was also a very bright blue that was distracting so I dropped the lightness and luminance of this slightly. I thought I would place this edited image next to the one from my first shoot to once again highlight the difference lighting and posing has made to my project. The subject looks the same and is in the same outfit, but thanks to the different lighting, posing, and deadpan look into the camera the images have a very different energy about them.

Final Image

Contact Sheet

When the project went in the direction of environmental self-portraiture, I got a roll of Kodak Portra 400 with the intention of shooting my self portraits on both digital and film so I could have options on what what medium I wanted my final body of work to be in. However, after my first shoot I discovered that my Pentax KM I was using wasn't compatible with the radio triggers I was using for my flash guns. Because the lighting was such an important aspect of the project, and digital was a lot more efficient and reliable I decided not to pursue using film further.

However, I kept the roll in my camera and used it on occasion on some shoots throughout the project as I didn't want to waste it.

I used the rest of the roll during my previous shoot where I situated myself on the wall, because the scene didn't really require any additional lighting and I thought film could better achieve the peaceful feeling I was going for than digital.

Thinking about what Erica suggested about situating myself within the surroundings more, I thought of this image of Peter Hujar (Right) from my previous research. When I initially seen it I thought it was such a simple, contemplative image, but was so effective in communicating a sense of queer identity, as suggested by the clothes worn by the subject and the context which I knew from being aware of Hujar's work already. This made me think of the image I took on the wall when my project was still using infrared film (Left), and how it has the same contemplative, peaceful feeling to it, all while being a subtle and effective way of interacting with my environment.

Because of this, I decided to revisit the same wall but this time aiming to emulate a sense of queerness from the subject, while still keeping that same peaceful and contemplative quality to see what this could bring to the project as a whole.

Contact Sheets

I put on the 10 inch heels again as it was very effective in communicating that sense of queerness in shoot 6, so wanted to see what it would be like when trying to achieve a different overall feeling.

I ended up deciding to edit this image as the way I am sat on the wall looks the most natural, however I feel it didn't quite achieve the same effect I was going for, possibly because the heeled boots themself are just so dramatic and over the top. Converting to black and white certainly helped, however I don't think it is strong enough an image to warrant featuring it amongst the rest of my colour final images.