#maggots server

@lxvenderjewel wanted me to read the transcripts of Sherlock&Co. They said they would do anything for me to read it. Anything? I asked. Yes, anything.

I told them to write me 24 lines of poetry about the Whalegina (it's so much worse than what you think it is, tumblr).

In perfect iambic pentameter.

After a brief tussle during which she had to find out what the fuck iambic pentameter is, they're now writing it. Line by line by line. This is Hell and I have created it.

There was an issue with the word trans man because both syllables were stressed, which doesn't work for iambic.

Sappho didn't want to use the reclaimed slur tranny, because he didn't think he was trans. Then proceeded a gender crisis over them realising that being genderfluid fell under the trans umbrella and that they were actually a valid trans person.

They were nervous about it. So then I said they could always just rewrite the line from scratch. And she went GENDER CRISIS OVER I'M FULLY TRANS I'M VALID MOVING ON THE NEXT LINE.

:")

THINGS ARE HAPPENING. @thearoacemess IS ACCUSING ALL MAGGOTS OF NOT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT REPTILE PREGNANCIES AND SAYING THAT NEIL HAS A TUMOUR.

NEIL IS EXPERIENCING PREGNANCY MOOD SWINGS.

NO ONE IS SURE WHETHER HE IS PREGNANT WITH BABIES OR WITH EGGS.

ACCUSATIONS HAVE BEEN FLYING FROM AARON OF ME AND @random-doctor-on-the-internet, NEIL'S PARENTS, NOT TEACHING HIM ABOUT PROTECTION.

I THEN DEMANDED WHY @anadyomena AND @ivory--raven, PARENTS OF HAMPTER (@smspikyhampster) WHO IMPREGNATED NEIL THROUGH THE POWER OF GOD OR SOMETHING, DIDN'T TEACH HIM ABOUT PREGNANCY.

MAE IS ATTEMPTING TO DO RESEARCH ON THE DNA. NEIL IS AFRAID FOR HIS BABIES.

RAY HAS NOW GIVEN UP THE CASE. TENSIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH IN MY COURT.

@achilles-in-a-blanket-burrito HAS ENTERED. KIT SEEMS TO BEHIND ON THE EVENTS. HE IS DEMANDING CLARIFICATION. HAMPTER CLAIMS THERE IS A POLL ON HIS TUMBLR DECIDING WHETHER IT'S EGGS OR LIVE BIRTH.

OKAY WE ALL KNOW I'M SHIT AT BOTH TECHNOLOGY AND DISCORD. AND YET I OWN A DISCORD SERVER. SO I THOUGHT I'D TEST USING THE MODERATION WARNING FEATURE. AND NEIL WHO IS NOT HERE IS THE BOT THAT GIVES OUT WARNINGS (HE IS ALSO MY SON) (AND RECENTLY IMPREGNATED WITH BABY JESUS) (DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT).

BUT HE GAVE ME THE OPTION TO WARN HIM, AND SO I THOUGHT SURE OKAY THAT'S AN EASY WAY TO TEST IT, RIGHT?

WRONG.

NOT ONLY DID I GET CALLED A DISGRACE, I ALSO INSTINCTIVELY SAID SORRY NEIL, FORGETTING HOW HE HAD BEEN TAUGHT TO RESPOND TO APOLOGIES. I JUST GOT RIPPED APART. INTO SHREDS. BY MY BOT SON. @neil-who-is-not-here.

BUT YOU ALL SEEM TO BE ENJOYING MY FALL FROM GRACE. THANKS.

THIS IS A CONCERNED POST BECAUSE YOU ALL NEARLY FUCKED UP THE LOCKDOWN AND NECESSITATED THREE DIFFERENT PERMISSION CHANGES FROM TWO BOTS BEFORE YOU COULDN'T TYPE ANYMORE.

WHAT EVEN WAS THIS, HUH? WHY CAN'T YOU GET LOCKED DOWN LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE WHY ARE MY FANS LIKE THIS.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE, SO THE WORLD CAN SEE HOW MUCH MY FANS LOVE ME:

YOU CRAZY WEIRDOS I LOVE YOU BUT IT'S JUST 20 HOURS YOU'LL BE FINE. YES WE TURNED OFF REACTIONS TOO. IT IS EVIDENT, I HOPE, WHY THAT WAS.

also WHY IS IT THERE TWICE. YOU'RE ALL. IM. SPEECHLESS.

"They tried to rizz me so I ate them."