#magdaliny

The medical assistant’s voice has surprised whumpee who by now had learned no one would speak directly to him except the head scientist.

Whumpee furrowed his brows quizzically at this young woman, who had only used a blank clinical gaze to observe him up to now. Was this a trick? Upping the cruel ante to keep him interesting with a mind game?

“They might feel like a loss of autonomy, frightening- but trust me- not being there- not being aware- is infinitely preferable to lucidity once they start.”

He looked away. Away from her, away from the view of his body laid prone and restrained on the lab table. No other sights were any better though- frightening machines, trays of sharp anatomy tools and other things he could not identify every other corner he could look.

But after a few minutes cloying curiosity won out, “Then why not just force me like every other thing?”

“It doesn’t matter to the doctors. If you refuse- it makes no difference to them whether you suffer. It’s not worth the effort.”

“I will suffer. No matter what.” He responded flatly, irritated this young woman was acting as if she was taking the moral high ground. She had been working on him alongside the others for weeks already. He knew her, he recognized the low ponytail that never had a hair out of place.

“Yes. You will. But the difference will be still having your mind intact at the end.”

He swallowed as his mouth went dry. Her words were final and sobering. Without a word, he nodded minutely. Yes, he would accept the drugs.

Author(s): @ magdaliny (tumblr not found) Date started: 2015-01-05    Series finished:    2016-04-10 Works in Series: 3,  Words: 65,489 Series Complete: Yes Parts: through smoke, solid ground , keep the earth below my feet Ratings for all included works: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings for all included works: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Dummy (Iron Man movies), Pepper Potts, Original Female Character Additional Tags; Psychological Trauma, Medical Trauma, standard Winter Soldier trauma umbrella, Dissociation, Amnesia, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Deaf Clint Barton, POV Second Person, Recovery, recovery and being angry about it, Explosive Ordnance Disposal, Laos, POV Outsider

Bookmarker's Notes:

I’ve been reading tons of fic the last few weeks in all the haze and craze of IW, and have come across some real gems. Time to make a rec post and share the love with all of you! Enjoy xx

Note: SOME FICS CONTAIN IW SPOILERS, so check the tags before you read! This post will be spoiler free.

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Grab Your Things (I’ve Come to Take You Home) by belovedmuerto 22,310 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply ----->  Steve getting hit with some sparkly purple sh*t during a battle and left with all of his old ailments gives Bucky the opportunity to do something he's been meaning to do for ages.

the way your face could light the bitter dark by Lizzen 2,760 words, complete Mature, author chose not to use archive warnings -----> Steve finds Bucky a year after the end of Infinity War. Fix-it fic ***CONTAINTS IW SPOILERS***

the cold never bothered me anyway by icoulddothisallday 75,562 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply -----> Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU Author’s tumblr: @icoulddothisallday

So Alive by GottaSaveBucky 108,976 words, complete Explicit, -----> Steve is a comic book artist and creator of the character Captain America and only visits this bookstore because of the superior baked goods, honestly, not the gorgeous manager. Bucky designs the comic book displays in his little shop and tells everyone he meets about his favorite author, Steven G. Rogers.

The City in Which I Love You by magdaliny 5,209 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply -----> Steve and Bucky raise baby goats together in Mongolia and everything is rainbows and sunshine and peace. Author’s tumblr: @magdaliny

Moosebumps by rohkeutta 4,207 words, complete Teen, no archive warnings apply ----->Steve and Bucky are road cyclists who don’t know each other until Bucky crashes into a moose and Steve has to go to his rescue. Author’s tumblr: @rohkeutta

Just Dropkick the Shame by MissyPJ, Rohkeutta 7,909 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply ----->Bucky has a kind-of sort-of thing with his boss Steve Rogers, and also drunk-tweets about Captain America’s daddy level sometimes. Turns out those two hobbies may be more related than he thinks. Author’s tumblr: @rohkeutta

M is for Murder by Rohkeutta 4,196 words, complete Mature, no archive warnings apply ----->Bucky’s having a hard time paying rent and turns to tumblr for help. I’m pretty low on funds and need to make ends meet this month. I’m taking commissions for hits in the New York City area. Will Not Kill: Captain America or other Avengers. Will partially refund payment if target turns out to be HYDRA. Will not go to Jersey. No dismemberment or killing children. Message for negotiations and payment details. Author’s tumblr: @rohkeutta

Collateral by Aylwyyn228 13,384 words, complete Explicit, author chose not to use archive warnings -----> Thanks to Hydra’s mindfuckery, Bucky can’t be penetrated without a lot of pain and yet can’t achieve orgasm without getting fucked. He’s really trying to figure this shit out, though, preferably without breaking Steve’s heart in the process.

Darling Wolf by cleo4u2, xantissa 15,605 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply -----> When Bucky put on the mask and browsed the clubs, he just wanted to find Steve. All he wanted to was to let go, to finally relax. He didn’t expect to find so many disappointing doms. All but one. The one he’d been looking for. The one he was afraid would find him. Authors’ tumblrs: @cleo4u2, @xantissa

Controlled Release by steebadore 9,073 words, complete Explicit, no archive warnings apply -----> Bucky's just having a little trouble...finishing. Completing the mission. He can squeeze the trigger but he can't make the shot is what he's saying. Which is why he's here, loitering outside a nice brownstone in Park Slope, trying to find the courage to knock on Captain Come Control dot com's door for his three o'clock appointment. You know, just normal Thursday things. Author’s tumblr: @steebadore

Mokusatsu by Shadesfalcon 125,492 words, complete Explicit, author chose not to use archive warnings -----> Clint Barton has been strung along from abusive relationship to abusive relationship all his life. Now, being trapped in a bureaucratically mandated relationship with not one but two doms is going to be difficult and dangerous. Especially since these two doms are both members of the Avengers themselves. He hopes that whenever he disappoints them, they’ll have at least a little pity on him, even though he knows he won’t deserve it. ***PLEASE READ TAGS CAREFULLY, CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND PAST ABUSE but it’s so so good. just like, be careful if you’re triggered by such things, okay?*** Author’s tumblr: @polyamoryavengers 

The Changes we dread (are the changes we need) by araydre, sapphire_escapist 32,370 words, 3/12 chapters as of 5.7.18 Mature, no archive warnings apply ----->  In a world where superhero IDs are still secret, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are both Captains America, and Bucky has had enough of SHIELD controlling their life since they woke up from a 70-year-old nap under the ice. So they do the only sensible thing to do and start auditioning to find the "third" Cap... which goes exactly as well as you'd imagine. Author’s tumblr: @cpt-winniethepooh

Carpe Noctem by GoldBlooded 68,169 words, 22/27 chapters as of 5.7.18 Explicit, creator chose not to use archive warnings -----> When the world’s power grid is shut down thanks to a terrorist organization, the world is plunged into an apocalyptic return to violent, domineering alphas and omegas who have to fear for their lives. Alpha!Bucky and Omega!Steve wind up on the run together hiding out in a bunker in the middle of nowhere, finding connection with each other in the midst of the world falling apart. Author’s tumblr: @duelingnebulas

It had sent him to his knees.

Author: magdaliny Pairing: Steve/Bucky Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Word Count: 3062

Saturday morning fic rec:

Author’s summary:

Steve's face must be doing something complicated, because Clint says: “Hey, you okay?”

Steve's about to shrug and brush it off when Tony says, “Yeah, spill. Nobody's allowed to be sad on their birthday. It's like some kind of law.”

“Well,” Steve says.

Words: 6747, Chapters: 1/1

Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Steve RogersJames "Bucky" Barnes, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), various Avengers

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, reader's choice

Additional Tags: Birthdays, Friendship, Bees

My notes:

@magdaliny​ asked for reading recs, and trying to organize my thoughts got a little out of control.

The main thing to know about 18thC literature is that literary realism isn’t a thing, yet. You may not really know a lot about psychological realism as a literary technique because it won the "what are books” battle decisively in the 1830s and most novels have had psychological realism as their foundation ever since; it’s the water you’re probably swimming in, basically. Psychological realism focuses on things like expressing character’s complex inner states, conveying their surroundings through rich and particularized details, and telling stories about personal change with emotional arcs. (I think, I dunno; I don’t study realist literature.) If you read The Castle of Otranto looking for those things you will be very disappointed.

The pre-realist literature that I love so much is still interested in people and emotions, because it’s still literature, but in ways that can take some getting used to. I wrote a lot of stuff here, but honestly, if you want advice on how to read and enjoy pre-realist literature, this Toast post on Pamela is kind of perfect. Key quote:

So Pamela’s position is fixed, and Mr. B’s position is fixed, and there’s only one winning move that she can make, and that is topping from the bottom like a motherfucker. And she DOES. GUYS, SHE DOES IT SO WELL. She drives him bananas and pretends she’s not doing it at all, which of course makes him even more bananas, and it’s terrific.

The stories are like logic puzzles in some ways, where you’re trying to figure out all the constraints, and the characters are also trying to figure out all the constraints, and you’re trying to figure out which characters are going to figure things out first, and what outcomes are possible and what outcomes are good, and the novel is constantly throwing wacky new stuff at you so you have to change everything you thought you knew, and it’s 50% reflecting on the fallibility of the human mind and the difficulty of making sound judgments and 50% gazing in awe upon majestically subtle manipulative women running an endurance race through the entire patriarchy.

So in THAT context, some recs!!