there was a time that my dad was super rude to me and he judged me for everything i did without a real reason. we had a big fight and now he doesn't say anything but i think he still doesn't understand me and never will. although we are ok now, i dont want to speak or do anything in front of him because he made me feel bullied and self conscious and left a big scar in my heart
Thatâs seems like a tough situation to be in. Youâre not alone, because parenting is thing that each parent goes about differently, but sometimes parental views and values do hurt us. This doesnât mean they are always intending to hurt you, though. As parents, they probably want the best for you.
When I was small, sometimes I felt like my parents were always judging me, and I felt I had to live up to their expectations of how they want me to behave. But that made me kind of a shy person I feel. Looking back, I would give myself the advice that I shouldnât take them TOO seriously, to the extent that they govern the way we choose to go about things. It is pretty hard, and the way parents treat us sticks to us for a long time sometimes, we may not even realise we are constantly being influenced. I heard a quote by Hillary Clinton actually who brings up this idea which may help you, to âtake things seriously, but not personallyâ.
Itâs good to listen to your feelings too, which is what you are doing when asking us on tumblr. :) Sometimes even just venting it all out somewhere helps us see them with a renewed perspective. I suggest you should also talk to someone thatâs close to you about it, so that you can perhaps relieve yourself and go over your feelings in detail.
With your parents, perhaps you can ask them how they feel about things so you get where theyâre coming from, to find some common ground. That is, if you feel comfortable and if you think it will help. Sometimes itâs good to look at our parents not as if theyâre on a higher level than us, but just as humans who have gone through hardships themselves and have had their own childhood good and bad times, they make mistakes just like us sometimes, they have feelings too. This may help you understand them more.
Sending heaps of love,FAM xx