i relapsed with self-harm tonight. i hate my body and i hate myself. self-harm is the only constant in my life; it'sthe only thing that i know will always be there for me. it seems like i just keep coming back to it.. it literally makes me feel euphoric.
Hi,
Self harm is not the only way to find that euphoria. There are other things that you can do to replicate that feeling. To feel so negative about yourself and your body is very hard to deal with, the response to self harm is then tempting. Does the self harm though change the way you feel about yourself for any longer than the immediate feeling of euphoria? If it does not last then it is not actually offering you a solution. It is just adding to your already existing problems. Please try and find an alternative to this that will have long term benefits. Being with other people is very powerful as is walking or running. Please go and talk with a counselor or Kids Help Line for more advice on feeling better about yourself. We’re sorry for the late reply. You can email/ talk to any one of us anytime.
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Hey! VCE is really tough and I find that when I have a 3/4 SAC coming up, I tend to only study that subject for a week and fall behind in others which isn't great because when I have assessments in my other subjects I have to cram. So how can you keep that balance between all your subjects so you don't fall behind and also do well in your 3/4s?
Hey there!
I think we all struggle with this - well I for one definitely understand. Let’s say there are about 4 hours a day to study. You dedicate half of that time to your ¾ and the other half to your other subjects. A thing about VCE is that many teachers don’t set you homework and expect you to do your own thing and kinda help yourself to keep up with the content and do your own work. Another thing I do is to maximise class time. If you do a maths subject, try to finish the exercise in class. Sometimes I ALMOST finish in class and finish it during lunch.
You’ll notice that between SACs there’s kinda a little lull in stress. Like when there are no SACs or assessments coming up, rather than using that time to procrastinate, you could get ahead in the content. For me, the UMAT was coming up and I knew I was solely going to study for it for a week, so during the holidays and the first week of school I tried really hard to complete as many spesh exercises as possible so I wouldn’t fall behind. It’s also good to have a timeline of your ¾ course. Usually they’re very accurate so you can tell when a SAC is coming even if your teacher doesn’t tell you. If you see it coming up in 3 weeks, rather than waiting until 1 week before to fully study, you could start your revision earlier and do a little bit everyday. By the time it comes to 1 week beforehand you’ve cut down so much of the workload and can focus on really solidifying your knowledge.
Every subject is different. You know yourself better than anybody else and should know which subjects require more effort/practise/attention.One tip my teacher taught me was to have 3 levels of intensity. High level - such as doing a practice sac/essay/exam/etc. Medium level - Writing/finalising notes. Low level - revising flash cards/notes. These are just a few examples and could vary depending on subject. But you should do the lower intensity activities later at night cos you’ll be tired. There are also heaps of articles on how to manage your time and be more productive.
what is going from year 10 to vce like? does the workload increase that much because I'm already struggling with the amount of work we get?
Hey there,
FAM Member 1: In my experience, although it’s a seemingly big jump from year 10 to year 11, you’re integrated quite smoothly into VCE and you quickly adapt to your situations.
Reflecting on Year 9 and 10, I was a major stress-head so moving into VCE was incredibly daunting for me just as I feel like it is for you. The reality is that a lot of people will be feeling this way and that it’s normal to be nervous. Just know that you’re not alone in it.
I realised after a little while that, whilst there were seemingly more things to stress about in VCE, my level of stress over four years seemed to be relatively the same. This obviously isn’t the best thing but what I want to share with you is that the reason I didn’t feel more stress was because with time I was able to cope better with it. So whilst there might’ve been more to stress about, I was also better at dealing with it and whilst the level of stress may have remained at a similar point in previous years, I definitely felt much better about it despite all the things around me that could’ve stressed me out.
When you’re focused on what’s in front of you, you may not notice the magnitude of the workload. That isn’t to say that VCE isn’t overwhelming because at times it definitely can be. Just remember to, whenever you’re in these times, take a step back and look at how far you’ve come and be proud of it!Good luck!FAM xx
I'm really scared for vce I feel like I wont be able to have it and that I'm gonna have breakdowns every day
Hey there,
We hate to hear that you’re feeling this way, but also know that it is extremely common and that you’re not alone.
VCE is a learning experience and in saying that, it is a different experience for everyone. Please know that you are so much more capable than you think you are and although the thought of VCE is incredibly daunting, you absolutely can take it! Sometimes it’ll require a bit of trial and error to figure out what’s best for you – that’s totally okay!
Remember that everyone around you is there to help; Mac.Rob is a very special community in that sense. Don’t be afraid to approach your teachers for help if you feel like you need it because there is no shame in asking for and needing help as this is your education and you need to be getting the most out of it. Also, sometimes teachers don’t notice where every student is at because they’ve got so many students to keep an eye on so definitely call out if you need it. Also remember that we have a most supportive wellbeing centre and that, again, there is absolutely no shame in needing help. It’s also what FAM is here for! And we greatly encourage you to reach out.
We have full faith in you, remember to have full faith in yourself too.
goodbye year 12s. thank you for everything you have done and I wish you all the best and happiness for the future. before you go can you please leave some tips/motivation for us little ones left behind?
Hey lovely,
Thank you for all your kind wishes and best thoughts – we all will keep them in mind in the lead up to exams and as FAM, it’s been a pleasure and a privilege to serve you and give back to the community in the way that we hope we have done.
Here are some tips and perspectives that’ll hopefully give you a bit of hindsight and help you out for the rest of your schooling journey!
FAM Member 1: I have an awful memory at times so I’m going to try my best to give advice based on my personal experience for each year level and also anything else I can think of!
For Year 9s: When people say ‘get involved’, don’t just nod along and think ‘ye ok whatever we get it GeT inVoLvEd’, actually get involved!!! You won’t regret it I promise. It may sound cliche and common but it really is a great way to meet new people and it helps to build relationships like no other that you’ll experience. Making friends in classes is fantastic, but getting involved in house activities, sports, and other co-curriculars really makes a difference and you get to experience Mac.Rob on a whole different level. Also, if you don’t settle into a friendship group straightaway, don’t stress too much about it. Friendships fluctuate a LOT over the years.
For Year 10s: This is the perfect time to explore new things and immerse yourself even further into the Mac.Rob community. After a year, hopefully you’ve settled down a little and don’t be afraid to open yourself up to trying new things because you never know who you might meet or what you might learn about yourself. I remember when picking electives I chose Music Performance. Now you see, not only had I already done the Year 9 elective for this subject but, I am terrible at performing and being in front of other people and I also dropped out of piano at the end of AMEB Grade 2. I mean at a place like Mac.Rob where so many people are musical prodigies, that’s just ridiculous. So, I made the absurd decision to change my elective, picking VisCom instead. I’ve always had an affinity for creating things but I never would’ve thought to study it. Let me tell you, VisCom was one of my favourite subjects that year and sometimes I think about what it would’ve been like if I had done it for VCE. Basically, moral of the story is to not be afraid to try new things and not be afraid to further explore some interests you have because you never know where it’ll lead. Also, Year 10s try not to get too stressed out, this is the perfect year to enjoy yourself and really just go crazy on the co-curriculars before VCE.
For Year 11s: This was a scary year. I think with all the expectations and added pressure not just from the people around me but more so the pressures that I put on myself made for a hell-ish year. Looking back on it now, I think that if there was anything I could say to my Year 11 self it would be to not worry so much. Grades are not everything and in the long-run both good and bad grades are so insignificant to life anyway that there is no reason to be stressing so much about it. Something I’d definitely recommend is to ask more questions. If you’re confused about something, don’t just sit on it and hope it’ll pass. Go and actually ask your teachers about it because that’s what they’re there for. Also remember that although you’ll be studying ¾ subjects now, don’t neglect your 1/2s. The reason you’re doing those ½ subjects is so that you can form a solid foundation for your studies next year and it’s a lot more valuable than you might think right now.
For Year 12s: This year is absolutely one of the biggest years yet. In the beginning in might not seem like all that much work (depending on which subjects you’re doing of course) but trust me it all hits you like a truck before you know it. The best thing to do would be to stay on top of everything as best you can for the whole year because it’ll set you up really well for SACs and of course the exams at the end of the year. Try setting goals for yourself at the beginning of the year and stick them up on a wall near your desk or in your room. That way, you’ll be reminded every day as to what you want to achieve by the end of this year and have a bit of motivation in times when you really need it. Also remember that while this is a big year in terms of studying, please continue to be involved because you’ll honestly regret it if you don’t. It may not seem like it necessarily, but being a part of something at Mac.Rob that is more than just academics is so important and you’ll never forget it!
Hopefully all of this helps and good luck to all in 2019!FAM xx
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what do you do when your mum favours your sibling over you. It's so unfair and annoying and im always arguing and fighting about it and she doesn't understand. It's just soo unfair. Should i just give her the silent treatent because it's really draining when i fight with her ugh
Hey,
We’re sorry to hear this and can imagine how annoying this must be. The silent treatment is not really productive to get your point of view across and although we’re sure you’ve tried this already, try talking to your mum about how you feel. Don’t give up on communicating with her. Why don’t you change this into a personal challenge? Go out there and amaze the world with your contribution. Your own feelings of satisfaction and the appreciation of others might replace the need for acknowledgement from your mum. Eventually your mum may begin to see what are fantastic individual you are, and value you equally with your siblings.
Hi FAM, please please please help me stop skipping school. I'm so behind in all of my work so I'm so scared to face my teachers. When I'm at school all I think about is when/how I can go home as early as possible. I'm in VCE right now so the consequences of everything I've run away from is becoming so serious. I feel I have no reason to actively attend and I'm just dragging my deadbeat self around everywhere I go. This depression is such a foreign concept to my family so I have noone to talk to.
Hey,
Every day you skip school just makes it harder to cope, but you know this already! Coming to school each day means that you can get to go home and hopefully feel satisfied that you made it through another day, and it takes away the feelings of guilt of missing a day of school.
If you have depression it is really hard to do the things that you know you need to do. Even small activities become really challenging. Are you getting help for your depression? Even though your family do not understand what depression means you can still get assistance without their involvement. Please talk to one of the school counsellors to help with both these issues as they are truly lovely people and want nothing more but to help you.
Hey FAM! I'm super proud of my Cantonese identity/fluency (I'm from GZ) but I've struggled with it because Mando kids have it easier. I'm really struggling in external Chinese and I plan on taking 12 SL in 2019. I've struggled with Chinese teachers telling me Canto is a useless language and I'm crap at Mandarin bc I can't let go of it, but I can't bring myself to give up on my culture & language. I really struggle with no one understanding that Canto is entirely separate from Mando. I feel lost.
Hey there,
First off, choosing to stand with your culture and language as opposed to doing what everyone tells you to takes amazing courage and resilience. It’s hard to go against the norm but it may be even more difficult to give up a part of your identity which is completely understandable.
Unfortunately, Cantonese is one of the languages some people are averse to and is in particular harder to learn because of the lesser amount of resources available to students since it’s one of the less popular languages. If you need help regarding learning the language, approach one of the senior school teachers to see if they may be able to direct you to where you may receive assistance. Perhaps talk with your parents about how you’re learning Cantonese and maybe you’ll be able to find better learning environments for yourself.
Even so, what those Chinese teachers say do not change who you are or what an amazing language Cantonese is. You are strong enough to stand above their negative opinions. A good thing about this school is the large number of Cantonese speaking students. If you have any Cantonese-speaking friends (I know a surprising amount of people who do speak), you could practise speaking or get them to test you on various things.
While I’m not at all fluent (or even versed in the basics), I love being able to speak with and understand my friends. Not only that, but also - I love Cantonese. To me it sounds like comfort and my grandparents, and hearing it really puts me at ease. I don’t have any plans to learn the written language but I’d love to be able to speak fluently one day - hopefully with people like you!
So keep on following this important part of your life because no one can decide for you who you are. I hope you’ll establish a place for yourself as a Cantonese speaker soon. Never stop expressing yourself!
Here is the experience of someone outside of FAM:
Hey there,
I personally did Chinese SLA in 2017 and I grew up speaking Canto as well. I just want to reassure you that no matter what your chinese teacher says being able to speak Cantonese and embracing that side of your culture does not hinder your ability to speak Mandarin.
Also it takes a lot of courage and strength to stick with your own cultural identity so you’ve been doing a great job, never let go of that and be proud of who you are because that is what makes you truly you.
If you are particularly worried about speaking Mando for your SL exam, I really just suggest practicing speaking and really just listening to people speak Mando. (I watched some chinese dramas both period and contemporary so I could also enrich my chinese vocab and maybe this will help you too).
In any case, hold on to your identity and be proud of it. There are many ways to improve your Mandarin, and I can assure you giving up on Cantonese is not one of those. (If you want to know more about doing Chinese SL with a Canto background, feel free to email me at [email protected])
And I know it is frustrating when people can’t tell the difference between Canto and Mando but don’t get frustrated, just explain to them what the differences are and how it’s a dialect with the same written language. Remember, the more people you talk to it about, the more people know the difference.