rn it's 2am and I'm having a panic attack. Every night before I sleep I keep having one and I just want it to stop.
Iâm so sorry that youâve been going through this - itâs a truly awful and terrifying situation to have to face - and youâve been so brave for making it through each one. Itâs such an isolating nightmare to have to go through each night. Please note that Iâm not a psychologist or anything, and this is just based off some of my own personal experiences with panic attacks and anxiety. If youâd like professional help, or techniques on how to manage these attacks, Iâd really recommend you talk to Gillian (our school counsellor), or a GP, if you arenât currently yet. But Iâve experienced that cyclic nightmare as well, frightening myself to the edge on some nights - there is a way out, and it does get better, I promise. Here is some generalized advice:
Panic attacks are usually caused internally, and are self-generated - as counterintuitive and stupid as it sounds. When you encounter an external situation that may cause you normal levels of stress and anxiety, youâre usually fine - but then, without noticing it necessarily, you start to worry about the stress, or about your possible body symptoms to the stress - and this creates a cyclic, internal anxiety. Before you realize it, it starts to snowball - the fear builds up on itself, and you become more confused, and anxious - and eventually, you basically scare yourself to the point where you, and your body, actually believes that itâs in danger. Your body responds to this physiologically, by releasing a large amount of hormones and chemicals, in order to prepare yourself to either âfightâ or âescapeâ the perceived danger; and this corresponds to any symptoms of increased heart-rate, breathing-rate, a âfogginessâ in the mind, or weakness in the muscles, whenever you go through a panic attack. But donât worry about this - this is basically a normal, elevated âsurvival modeâ that our body goes into, whenever we believe weâre in danger, thatâs originated from our prehistoric evolutions; itâs a natural, and quite normal part of our lives.
Please remember, however, as youâre having a panic attack: that you will not lose control, nor will you go insane - it impossible, physiologically. At best, your mind and body can only maintain this prolonged state of anxiety for up to three hours - afterwards, your stamina will diminish, and it may leave you feeling exhausted and fatigued by the end of it. But please donât worry - it is normal to feel this way, especially after the body goes through an intense stage of anxiety or stress.
But hereâs the thing: those thoughts, those anxieties that keep cropping up - theyâre just thoughts - and they arenât nearly as heightened or magnified to the extent that they often appear to be whenever we start to panic. Theyâre thoughts - just thoughts, nothing else - and they canât hurt you. They donât have the power, unless you allow them to. Half of the time, the actual external factor that causes us the stress isnât nearly as bad as we believe it to be - itâs actually way out of proportion, the way we think about things - and not just people with panic attacks, but people in general. Some thoughts are very distorted, however - sometimes exaggerating the danger of things - and itâs not something that can be done consciously - itâs just this awful thing that our mind does - but, I guess, thatâs also why some people have this awful condition, and others donât. We wouldnât have really have these attacks, if the danger of some situations didnât seem to be so heightened to us - if our mind didnât distort them to the point where we believed it was an actual danger. But I promise you: you are so much stronger than those thoughts.
A few steps to try and calm yourself down during the panic attacks are these:
1. Recognize that youâre feeling anxious - accept that the body feelings are just a symptom of the anxiety. You know what this is - itâs just the âfight/flightâ mode of the body, thatâs all.
2. Give yourself permission to feel anxious - itâs okay. Itâs a natural part of life to feel anxious - we all feel this way, at one point - and you know what this panic attack is, what is causing it, and why you feel this way.
3. Breathe - inhale, regulate your breathing. This is so, so important - of all steps to remember, in a panic attack, itâs this: abandon all else, and focus on your breathing. It sounds so trivial, I know - but it actually has such a powerful effect. Itâs been proven that actually breathing properly - evenly, through each inhale and exhale, and regulating it - actually regulates the hormonal levels in your body, slows your heart-rate, and forces your body to calm down again - leading to an overall calmer experience. A technique you could use is to breathe in for an allotted amount of time (say, 4 seconds) - and then to breathe out for double the amount of that time (say, 8 seconds); and repeat this at least a couple of times. Another technique thatâs pretty popular, is the 4 - 7 - 8 breathing method: breathe in for four seconds, count your breath for seven, and breathe out for eight.
4. Start trying to talk more positively to yourself - and please remember to be kind to yourself throughout all of this. A lot of the time, anxiety and panic attacks are caused by the distorted and false belief that weâre somehow incapable of dealing with the problem. Â Talk yourself through it, maybe - that you are completely safe, and this is just a temporary feeling, and it will pass. Examples include, âItâs just anxiety. It will go away. I will not lose control. I can still go about my life without feeling spaced-out. It wonât hurt me. I am safe.â
5. Start trying to distract yourself with doing something else physical - these might include walking, cooking, doing chores. Anything to distract and preoccupy your mind from the thoughts and feelings, at least for the moment.
6. Let time pass - give yourself permission to feel weird for a while; and try to figure out whatâs bothering you.
Usually, whenever we get into a panic attack, we also find ourselves get stuck in a loop: where our body becomes frightened by the thoughts that we think, and in turn, our mind gets spurred on/starts panicking about our physical sensations - and it goes on and on. Sometimes, itâs just enough to be aware that the loop is happening - even if you may not feel, emotionally, any better by it. Intellectually being aware of it is fine. Remember, youâre the one who has real control over the thoughts, not the thoughts themselves - youâve done this before, and you can do this again - the world will not end - youâre completely safe - you can do this! Itâs really difficult to try to calm yourself down, and to mentally reassure yourself, in the moment of the attack, I know, and you may not believe half of the things you tell yourself - I know I didnât. But as you gradually go through these, you eventually become more and more familiar with the act of trying to calm yourself down, and let it pass - you end up believing it, too, as you eventually face more of these attacks, and end up successfully managing to just let the attack pass on its own.
If these donât work, other techniques you could use to deal with these are maybe journalling down your thoughts, and your experiences, at the end of each day - it helps to clear the mind, and could give you a better perspective on how to deal with the attacks. Otherwise, giving yourself an allotted amount of time each day - a âsafe-spotâ just to do the things you actually love, and not think about anything else - can prove to be really therapeutic. You could also try cooking, or relaxation colouring. Meditation - as trite as it sounds, can also help a lot - personally, it proved a vital part of my recovery, and it allowed me to see my thoughts for what they really were, and it helped me to âclear my mindâ, and feel more relaxed. It helps you be in the âhere and nowâ, which is a problem that people who experience panic attacks usually face. There are a few other programs that I used, and that helped me get out of the attacks - and I donât particularly want to advertise/âpromoteâ these either, but if they help, then Iâm glad: the âAttacking Anxietyâ Midwest Center program, as well as the HeadSpace Meditation Program. Theyâre kind of pricey, though.
If your family is available, and you feel safe enough/comfortable enough to talk about this with them, Iâd really recommend talking to your parents, or any siblings about the panic attacks - they could prove to be a very valuable support line, and providing a very comforting presence in your life, where you can just let go of all the anxiety and fear that youâve been experiencing to listening ears, and you can comfort yourself by talking to them. Similarly, if the attacks get worse, please consider talking to Gillian, our school counsellor.
