#macaronnie

Yuh

Did another experimental coloring practice :)

And for fun, I also doodled some lil gals too! :3

Theres mcsawyer

Macaronnie

Mcsaw

Mcsawmara

Mcronica

THIS EDIT IS AMAZING ADFGHJKLADFGHJKLASDFGHJKL

hahaha heeyyyy nonnie

6 macaronnie “is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

tw for alcohol mention

Veronica immediately regrets jolting awake in response to a gentle hand jostling her.

As soon as her eyes open, as soon as she moves, she’s confronted with a violent, pounding headache and a rolling wave of nausea. “Ughhhh.”

“Hey,” a voice gently reaches out, like an angel descending from the heavens to save her. “Can you sit? I have water and painkillers for you.”

Veronica groans again and pushes herself to sit up. She sits in perfect silence for a long moment, eyes closed and swaying gently back and forth against her will as she tries valiantly to keep the contents of her stomach where they belong.

When she opens her eyes, a tray with a glass of water, two ibuprofen, cup of coffee, and a banana sit before her. Along with Mac.

Veronica realizes after a beat that it’s a bit breezier than she’s used to. She looks down and scrambles to cover herself when she realizes she’s completely naked.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, I’ve already seen everything you have to offer,” Mac chuckles kindly. “You certainly weren’t hiding anything last night.”

Veronica groans and buries her face in her hands.

“So uh… is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” Heather asks gently.

Veronica keeps her face firmly in her hands and wishes the universe would just swallow her whole before she gets a chance to process her hazy memories from last night.

“Wrong Heather,” she grunts. She knows that much.

“What?” Mac asks, delicately brushing Veronica’s mess of hair away from her face.

Veronica finally removes her hands and instead uses them to fiddle with a stray thread on the yellow duvet protecting her modesty. “Chandler’s gonna- ugh. Kill me. I meant to go to hers and try to kiss up. But I guess I came here instead.”

“That makes sense. But she won’t kill you, I promise. Duke and I won’t let her,” Mac says. “But you might want to apologize anyway.”

“Thanks,” Veronica replies, barely gracing her with a glance. “Do you, um…”

“You climbed in my window and started taking your clothes off almost immediately,” Heather giggles. “They had some… stuff on them, so I put them in the wash for you. Here.”

She hands Veronica a matching yellow pajama set, a tank top and pants made of a butter yellow satin. Veronica takes them thankfully, and Mac turns around so she can change with some privacy. The top is a bit tight, and the pants only go halfway down her shin, but they fit well enough for what she needs. “Thanks.”

Heather just nods. “Here. This should help with the hangover. I’ll go see if your clothes are ready.”

“Wait,” Veronica says, reaching out as best she can before Heather can leave.

Mac turns. “Hm?”

“Um… can you… sit with me a little longer?” Veronica asks shyly. Heather smiles gently and nods, sitting back down on the side of her bed. Veronica smiles back and grabs the water and painkillers. Once they’re down, she asks, “Did I do anything totally embarrassing last night?”

“You mean besides trying to kiss me and telling me how hot I was every ten seconds? No,” Heather smirks, peeling the banana and offering it to her.

“I what?!”

“It was very flattering. Until you finally got me into bed and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.”

“…I got you into bed?” Veronica mumbles.

“Yes, drunk you just oozes charm,” Heather teases. “If you weren’t drunk I might’ve said yes.”

Veronica nibbles consideringly on her banana. “I’m not drunk now.”

Heather smiles and rests a soft, tanned hand on her cheek, leaning in to kiss the other with pillowy lips. “We’ll see about when you don’t look like you’re gonna hurl every time you turn your head.”

“Fine,” Veronica pouts. Heather chuckles.

Summary: When Veronica finds out that JD is dangerous, she begins a dangerous plan to stop him.

Ship: Veronica Sawyer x Heather Macnamara

Word count: 12,681

Warning: suicide references

Veronica skipped happily along to her house. She had just seen JD again – and finally learned his name. He seemed like he might actually like her, and she thought she liked him. Not as much as - well, she couldn’t think about them. The thought of JD could distract her, though.

As she turned the corner to her house, she was stopped in her tracks by the sight in front of her. There was a police car in front of her house. The worst thoughts ran through her head. Her dad was dead. Her mum was dead. She took a deep breath and entered her house.

There was a man she didn’t know in her living room, along with her parents. So they weren’t dead after all.

‘Veronica, this man says he needs to talk to you.’ Veronica’s mum directed her and the man to the table.

The man held out his hand to her. ‘Hello, Veronica. I am Detective Dolater.’

Veronica offered him a weak smile, concerned. ‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’

‘I have been investigating and I have reason to believe that you have recently come into contact with a serial killer.’

A serial killer? What was he talking about?

‘He is known to frame murders as suicides, and unfortunately we haven’t got enough proof to charge him yet. His name is Jason Dean.’

Veronica’s eyes widened. JD? He couldn’t be a serial killer, could he? Although, he did seem to know what he was doing when he was beating up Ram and Kurt…

‘He’s only seventeen.’ Veronica finally said to the detective.

‘It doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of murder.’ The detective said. ‘It had come to my attention that you were getting close, so I thought it necessary to warn you about him - that you should be careful.’

Veronica nodded silently. Her mind was whirring. It kept whirring for long after the detective left, until she found herself in her room staring up at the ceiling. She couldn’t take it anymore. She got up and left the house. It was late, and she didn’t really know where she was going, but eventually she looked up to find herself in front of Heather Chandler’s house. Veronica sighed. Well, it wasn’t a bad idea. She walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

‘Veronica? What on earth are you doing here?’ Heather opened the door and spoke in an annoyed tone, but raised an eyebrow when she saw Veronica, ‘What’s happened?’

Veronica bit her lip. ‘Can I come in?’

Heather rolled her eyes, but stepped aside. ‘Fine. Come on.’

‘A serial killer? Seriously?’ Heather was good at not showing a range of emotions, but Veronica could tell she was shocked.

‘Yeah. But apparently, they don’t have enough evidence to arrest him.’ Veronica shrugged.

Heather looked off thoughtfully. ‘Well, then. We’ll have to get it to them.’

Veronica stared at her. ‘What?’

‘You said he fakes suicides? If we fake a few of our own, we can get the proof they need.’ Heather shrugged.

‘What are you planning, Heather?’ Veronica knew that look on Heather’s face, and it never meant anything good.

‘JD is bad news, Veronica. Serial killers belong in prison, so it’s up to us to get him there. The way I see it, we need to trick him into killing some people.’

‘Heather, I’m not going to help him kill people.’ Veronica was appalled by Heather’s attitude.

Heather rolled her eyes again. ‘You’re not going to help him kill people. You’re going to make him think he’s killed people, and then we record it and send it to the police.’

Veronica opened her mouth to object then closed it again. Yes, the detective had told her to be careful. But surely this was the right thing to do? Catch a murderer?

She sighed. ‘What’s the plan?’

Heather smirked. ‘He likes you, right?’

Veronica shrugged. ‘I think so.’

‘Perfect. So, what needs to happen is for you and I to ‘fall out’ as it were.’ Heather made speech marks around fall out.

‘Why?’

‘Because then JD will be angry with me, and then I will be his next victim. After all, it’s much easier to fake your own death than someone else’s.’

Veronica wrinkled her brow, but nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘So, it will have to be somewhere with a lot of people from our school around, but preferably no adults, so maybe a party. You’ll have to get angry first.’

‘Why do I have to?’

Heather sighed dramatically. ‘Because, Veronica, it’s more believable. I just get angry when someone challenges me, so you getting angry with me would be a believable way to get me riled up.’

Veronica started nodding, enthusiastically. ‘And if we’re at a party, I could get drunk and puke on you!’

Heather glared at her. ‘If you puke on me, my anger will not be an act. Anyway, the next morning you will come to apologise to me and bring JD with you.’

‘How do I get JD there?’

Heather groaned. ‘Do I have to work out everything, Veronica? You deal with it, but get him there. I’ll get you to make me a hangover cure in a mug, Veronica. Very important. I’ll leave out some drain cleaner and another mug to tempt him into trying something. Then when he’s not looking, you switch the mugs so when you pick up the one with the hangover cure in it, he thinks that you’ve picked up the wrong one. Then I use my supreme acting skills to make him think I’m dead, and we let the school know or something like that, and I won’t come back to life until he is caught.’

Veronica clears her throat. ‘Um, Heather?’

‘What?’

‘Are we going to tell Duke and Mac about this?’

Heather hummed. ‘No. Duke needs to take charge of the Heathers, and she won’t do it properly if she doesn’t think I’m completely out of the picture. And Macnamara, well, I would include her, but the girl can’t keep a secret to save her life, Veronica.’

‘You don’t think that it might, you know, fuck them up a little bit?’

‘They are perfectly capable of handling themselves, Veronica. But if you’d like, you can keep an eye on Mac.’ Heather put a lot of emphasis on MAC. ‘We all know how you feel about her, Veronica. Well, other than Macnamara herself, that is.’

Veronica felt her cheeks burning, which made Heather smirk. ‘It doesn’t matter anyway. She doesn’t like me back.’

‘Jesus Christ, Sawyer, wake up. I just said she can’t keep a secret and her crush on you is no exception. You’re just too blind to see it. And now, you can’t even ask her out because you went and got yourself crushed on by a serial killer, so we gotta deal with him first.’

‘I mean, we could just not do your crazy plan and instead stay away from the serial killer?’ Veronica pointed out.

Heather shook her head. ‘No, it’s too late for that, I’ve already made the plan so we’re sticking to it.’

Veronica sighed and covered her face with her hands. Maybe coming to Heather’s had been a bad idea after all.

Ram and Kurt’s dads were going on a fishing trip, so naturally they decided to have a party. Heather said that it was the perfect opportunity to execute their plan. Even the thought of it filled Veronica with anxiety. She didn’t even want to go near JD anymore, but once Heather made the plan, she couldn’t go back. She also still didn’t have a clue how she was going to get JD to Heather’s house in the morning. Slightly hesitantly, she donned her usual blue blazer and ran outside where Heather was blaring her horn.

‘It’s about time, Sawyer.’ Heather rolled her eyes as Veronica opened the car door. Veronica’s house was closest to Heather’s, so she hadn’t picked up Duke or Mac yet. Veronica was thankful for that.

‘We need to have a signal.’ Veronica said as Heather pulled the car out of the parking spot.

‘What do you mean a signal?’

‘Like something you do so I know I haven’t actually killed you by giving you the wrong mug.’ Veronica shrugged.

Heather sighed. ‘Is the fact that I would still be breathing not enough for you?’

‘You could be dying and I wouldn’t know!’

Heather groaned. ‘You are so paranoid sometimes, Veronica. But if you need a signal, then,’ she thought for a second, ‘as my last words, if you poisoned me then they will be, I dunno, reindeer games let’s say. And if I’m not dying they will be corn nuts. Happy?’

‘Yeah I guess. Seems like pretty random things for your ‘last words’ to be.’ Veronica said.

Heather hummed as she pulled up to Duke’s house. ‘Don’t question it, Veronica. Though, speaking of corn nuts, we should get some before we go to the party.’

It was Veronica’s turn to roll her eyes as Heather blared the horn again.

‘Veronica! Don’t forget the corn nuts! It’s not a party without corn nuts!’

Veronica sighed as she entered the 7/11. What was Heather’s obsession with corn nuts?

‘Plain or BQ?’

‘BQ!’ Heather sounded annoyed.

‘Greetings and salutations. You want a Slurpee with that?’

She tried not to show it, but she nearly jumped out of her skin. JD was here, of course he was. Veronica considered just bolting right out of there, but saw Heather’s face if she messed up their plan. Heather might be her friend, but she was way scarier than JD, even if he was a serial killer. So Veronica put on her best pleased to see you face she could and looked at him.

‘No, but if you’re nice, I’ll let you buy me a big gulp.’ She tried her best to sound flirty as she said it. She wasn’t sure if it worked.

‘That’s like going to Micky D’s and ordering a salad. Slurpee’s the signature dish of the house. Now, did you say cherry or lime?’ JD held his own Slurpee out to her as he said it.

‘I said big gulp.’ Veronica said with a small smile.

JD started telling Veronica about his dad’s deconstruction company and mentioned that his mother died. He also talked a lot about Slurpees and brain freezes. Surely, this boy couldn’t be dangerous. He offered her a sip of his to demonstrate the brain freeze.

‘Yeah I don’t really see – oh son of a bitch!’ She gasped and her hand flew to her head from the pain.

The door opened and Heather walked in with an annoyed look on her face.

‘Veronica?’

‘Oh I gotta go.’ Veronica half-smiled at JD.

‘Corn nuts.’ Heather demanded and Veronica held them up to her.

‘Yeah, yeah they’re right here.’

Heather’s gaze fell to JD. ‘Don’t you have a Morrissey concert to get to? Come on Veronica.’

Heather lead the way out of the shop.

As soon as JD was out of earshot, Veronica turned to her. ‘Morrissey concert? What are you doing?’

‘We want him to be mad at me, remember?’ Heather rolled her eyes at her. ‘Try to remember the plan, Veronica. Now get in the car.’

‘So it’s salt, then shot, then lime. Very important to get the order right.’ Mac said to Veronica as she followed her instructions. ‘Oh, you’re a natural. Just like my mum.’ Mac smiled proudly at her. Veronica didn’t really know why Mac was smiling at her, but she smiled back anyway. Veronica was pretty drunk at this point.

Veronica walked over to the centre of the room, stumbling from the drinks. Hang on, was that Martha?

‘Martha? I can’t believe you came.’ Veronica was trying to wrap her head around why Martha was there when she remembered. The forged note from Ram that Heather had put her up to the other day. Why would Heather want Martha there?

‘It’s exciting, right? Oh, excuse me, I want to say hello to Ram. I brought sparkling cider!’ Martha skipped off excitedly. By the time Veronica realised that she should stop Martha, it was too late. She was already watching Martha’s heart being ripped out and stomped on.

Martha was just about to leave when Mac said, ‘We need a volunteer to take the first swing at the piñata.’

Veronica thought Mac looked a bit lost herself, like she didn’t know what she was saying, but that might have just been the alcohol.

‘Martha Dunnstock!’ Heather announced. Veronica stared at her. What was she thinking?

Everyone started chanting Martha’s name as she put on the blindfold. Duke brought out the pig piñata, which was dressed like Martha.

‘Give it to me!’ Veronica yelled. She grabbed the piñata and after a few minutes finally got it away from Duke. She looked around and then threw it in the pool.

‘What’s going on?’ Martha asked innocently, taking her blindfold off.

‘Just go home I’ll explain later.’

Martha tried to object but Veronica interrupted. ‘Just go.’

As Martha ran out of the house, Veronica angrily turns to Heather. How could she – oh. That’s when it hits her. Heather did this to make her angry, like the plan.

Veronica stumbled slightly as she approached Heather. ‘I’m resigning my position from the Lip Gloss Gestapo. Going back to civilian life.’

‘No!’ Heather grabbed her and spun her around and Veronica felt sick coming up her throat.

‘Don’t spin me, I’m not feeling well.’

‘You don’t get to be a nobody. Come Monday, you’re an ex-somebody. Not even the losers will touch you now. Transfer to Washington, transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg’s gonna let you play their reindeer games!’

Huh. That’s where she got reindeer games from. Suddenly, Veronica feels her stomach churn and vomit comes out of her mouth and lands all over Heather’s shoes. Shit.

An inhuman scream comes out of Heather’s mouth as she takes a step back. ‘I raised you up from nothing. And what’s my thanks? I get paid in puke!’

‘Lick it up, baby! Lick it up!’ Veronica didn’t know where her confidence to say that had come from, but one thing she knew for sure was that it wouldn’t help her in anyway.

Heather looked outraged, but spoke in a level tone, which was more scary than being yelled at. ‘I know who I’m eating lunch with on Monday.’ She paused to lean closer to Veronica. ‘Do you?’

Veronica walked drunkenly home. Had she made a royal mess of things by actually pissing Heather off? Of course, she was going to apologise to her tomorrow. And she had to bring JD – shit! How was she supposed to even find him – hang on was that his motorbike? She thought it was. She walked behind the house and saw a light on in one of the bedrooms. There was humming coming from it, and she was 95% sure it was JD. Surely it couldn’t be that difficult to climb up there, right?

Turns out the climbing wasn’t too bad; it was actually getting in the room that she was struggling with. After managing to get her foot in, she tumbled through and ended up lying on the floor

‘Veronica? What are you doing in my room?’ So it was JD. That was good.

JD held out hand to help her off the floor, which she clumsily accepted. ‘Had to see you, hope I didn’t wake you.’ JD shook his head, still confused.

Veronica pointed her finger at his face, swaying slightly. ‘See, I decided,’ she started, slurring her words a little, ‘that I must ride you til I break you.’

JD’s eyes widened, but Veronica could tell he wouldn’t say no and she smirked.

‘Hello slut!’ Heather yelled. Veronica jumped up and stared at her.

‘Heather? How did you get in here?’

‘I’m like oxygen – I’m everywhere!’ Heather laughed, then groaned. ‘I mean seriously, Veronica? You slept with that? I will crucify you for this. Everybody at school’s gonna know good, little Veronica Sawyer is nothing but a dirty whore.’

‘This was your idea, Heather.’ Veronica tried to reason, but Heather just scoffed.

‘It most certainly was not. This was the one part that I left up to you, and of course you immediately go and sleep with a serial killer! Everyone will know what you’ve done, and it’ll be so very!’

Out of nowhere, students popped up and started chanting ‘Very!’ over and over again.

Veronica screamed and jumped up, covered in sweat. JD jumped up too, which almost made Veronica scream again.

‘Veronica? You’re soaking wet.’

Veronica quickly stood up and started getting dressed. ‘It was just a dream.’

‘What’s the rush?’ JD started putting his own clothes on.

‘I have to get to Heather’s house.’ Veronica sighed.

JD furrowed his brow. ‘What? You told me you were done with Heather.’

Dammit, she had said that. Fix it, Veronica. ‘Yeah and it was a sweet fantasy – a world without Heather. A world where everyone is free. Now it’s morning, I have to go kiss her aerobicized ass.’

‘No.’ JD looked upset.

Veronica shrugged. ‘Yes, I’m not strong like you are.’

‘Let me come with.’ JD offered. ‘You know, for backup!’

For a second, Veronica considered saying no. Considered getting out of this whole thing. But Heather was already pissed at her for puking on her, she couldn’t afford to make her madder by turning up alone.

So Veronica laughed and nodded. ‘Okay. Thank you.’

He pulled her into a kiss and she kissed back. Now that she was sober, kissing him felt weird.

She pulled away and when he looked confused, she knew she had to say something. ‘Oh, by the way, you were my first.’

‘Heather? Heather?’ Veronica yelled as she and JD entered Heather’s house.

‘What?’ Came the grumpy reply. She was definitely hungover.

‘It’s Veronica. I’m here to apologise.’

‘Hope you brought kneepads, bitch!’ Heather genuinely sounded mad. Was she gonna stick to the plan or – ‘Fix me a Prairie Oyster and I’ll think about it.’ There it was.

Veronica and JD looked around and saw two mugs just as Heather had promised. Veronica grabbed one and started making the hangover cure.

‘Don’t forget the Worcestershire.’ JD said, handing it to her.

‘You know your hangover cures.’

JD laughed and then looked in the open cupboard and absentmindedly took out the drain cleaner. Veronica stared at him out of the corner of her eye. He poured it into a glass and offered it to her.

‘Don’t be a dick, that stuff would kill her.’ Veronica laughed, trying to play it off as a joke.

‘Thus ending her hangover!’ JD laughed too. ‘I say we go with big blue.’

‘You can’t just – Besides she would never drink anything that looked like that.’ Veronica turned back to her own mug, hoping he would just leave it.

‘We use a mug. That way, she’ll have no idea what she’s drinking.’ JD poured it into the second mug when he saw Veronica’s expression.

‘Chicken. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.’

‘You’re not funny.’ Veronica said, but laughed a little as he let out a sad little bawk.

‘Okay, I’m sorry.’ JD said as he put the mug on the counter.

As he leaned down to put the drain cleaner back, Veronica realised this was her chance. Quickly, she grabbed the drain cleaner mug and swapped it with hers. When JD stood back up, he didn’t seem to have noticed.

‘Prairie Oyster! Chop chop!’ Heather yelled from the bedroom.

Sighing, Veronica grabbed the mug she knew had the Prairie Oyster in, but JD thought was drain cleaner.

‘Veronica, you –’ JD started. He was going to stop her, maybe he wasn’t a killer after all.

‘Yeah?’ Veronica asked, hoping that he would say the right thing.

‘Good luck.’

Veronica’s heart dropped. He was a murderer.

She walked into Heather’s bedroom as Heather sat up.

‘Good morning Heather.’

Heather smiled smugly at her. ‘Aw, Veronica. And Jesse James, quelle surprise. Well let’s get to it. Beg.’

Heather stood up as Veronica began. ‘Last night, we both said a lot of things that we – ’

‘I’d actually prefer if you did this on your knees. In front of your boy toy.’ Heather interrupted. Boy toy threw Veronica off track for a second. Did Heather know she had slept with him, or was she imagining it?

‘I’m really sorry –’

‘Do I look like I’m kidding?’ Heather stared her down and Veronica knew she would have to. ‘Down.’ She begrudgingly got down on her knees and handed her the mug.

Heather smirked. ‘Nice. But you’re still dead to me.’ She downed the entire contents of the mug and began choking and grabbed onto Veronica. Even though she knew she had done it right, Veronica couldn’t help thinking that maybe she’d done something wrong and Heather was really going to die.

‘Corn … nuts!’ Heather gasped and Veronica did her best to hide her relief as Heather fell to the ground, unmoving.

‘Quelle surprise indeed.’ JD said, no emotion in his voice.

‘Don’t just stand there! Call 911!’ She panickily waved her hand at him.

‘It’s a little late for that.’ JD was barely moving, maybe he was just in shock.

‘Heather, Heather.’ Veronica shook her arm lightly, trying not to let JD see her breathing. ‘Oh my god, I just killed my best friend!’

‘And your worst enemy.’ JD pointed out.

‘Same difference!’ Veronica practically shrieked. ‘The police are gonna think I did this on purpose. Oh my god, they’re gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin!’

‘Unless… she was reading The Bell Jar.’ JD picked up the book and Veronica knew exactly what he was getting at.

‘Oh no.’ Veronica shook her head as JD joined her on the floor.

‘Oh yes. You can fake her handwriting. Just make it sound deep. Like this:’ he thought for a second, ‘I had pain in my path, like Silvia Plath. My problems were myriad.’ He paused, thinking.

‘I was having my period.’ Veronica said and started laughing when her hand landed on Heather’s leg and she quickly withdrew it. ‘Oh my god!’

‘This isn’t funny, you could go to jail! Get your head on straight, now!’ JD nearly yelled, then took a deep breath. ‘Think. Long and hard. What would she say? What’s her final statement to a cold, uncaring world?’

Veronica paused before beginning to write. ‘Dear world…’

‘Aw hell, long weekend for everyone!’ Principal Gowan announced and the students cheered. How could they cheer, Veronica thought. How could they cheer when Heather was dead? Well, when they thought she was dead at least. Veronica felt incredibly guilty when she saw Mac crying, almost as if she had really killed Heather.

‘Not so fast, kids. They’re refuelling the buses which gives us a solid half hour of healing.’ Ms Fleming handed out sheets and Veronica took hers and sat in the corner. It was Heather’s suicide note, well the one that Veronica had written. JD sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She didn’t try to move him away, but she didn’t reciprocate the gesture either. Ms Fleming continued to talk about the note, but Veronica wasn’t listening. Her gaze kept flicking between the note in her hand and Mac, who was being held by Kurt. It was the first time that Veronica could remember in high school not hating Kurt. The one time he didn’t seem to have any ulterior motives.

‘I gave Heather a C minus last week and now I lie awake each night wondering if that’s what pushed her over the edge.’ Ms Fleming was talking on the tv with Heather Duke trying to take up the entire screen.

‘Turn it off.’ Veronica said, hand on her head as JD switched the TV off. ‘I’m tired of watching this crap. It’s shows like these that make suicide look cool. Hey kids, make your teacher cry! Get the respect you didn’t get in life. It’s gross.’

JD put his arm around her and Veronica looked down. ‘Do you think Heather’s mother will keep everything in her room the same? Like she’s alive?’

‘Well, that rug’s gonna need a good clean.’ JD tried to joke, but Veronica shot him a dirty look. ‘Why?’

Veronica shrugged. ‘Because I feel bad.’ It wasn’t a complete lie. She didn’t feel bad for killing Heather, because she hadn’t. But she felt terrible about making Mac cry, and for hurting her and Duke. ‘She was a human being and we killed her.’ That was a lie. ‘You feel bad too, right?’ Veronica watched his reaction, looking for any sign of remorse.

‘Of course.’ JD said sincerely. A car door slammed outside and JD jumped up. ‘You wanna get ice cream? Let’s go hit Dairy Queen.’ He held out his hand to her.

‘Why? What’s wrong?’ Veronica narrowed her eyes.

JD pointed at the door. ‘That’s my dad.’

‘Good, I wanna meet him.’ Veronica said as JD shook his head.

‘Not a good idea.’

The door opened and JD’s dad walked in.

Begrudgingly, JD introduced them. ‘Veronica, this is my dad.’

Before she could even hold up her hand, his dad said, ‘Get rid of her.’

He started telling JD to go buy some diesel, and although JD tried to object, he didn’t succeed.

‘I should go.’ Veronica began, mainly addressing JD. ‘My mum’s making spaghetti. With lots of oregano.’ It was the best excuse she could come up with at that moment.

‘Nice. Last time I saw my mum, she was waving to me outside a window of a library in Texas, right Dad?’ JD pointedly stared at his father.

His father stared back. ‘Right son.’

As she was walking back from JD’s house, she stopped in front of Heather’s house. Well, there was no one around to see her go into her ‘dead’ best friend’s house.

‘Well well well, if it isn’t the most paranoid one of them all.’ Heather said as she lead Veronica through the house to her bedroom.

Veronica rolled her eyes but smiled. ‘I’m not paranoid; I’m just checking how you are.’

Heather turned to her. ‘I’m fine. Being dead isn’t as bad as it’s cracked up to be. How are you? You’re the one on the outside.’

Veronica shrugged as she sat down. ‘I don’t know. I just keep feeling guilty. Mac was really upset, and knowing that I could make it better but I can’t yet – it just feels really shitty.’

Heather nodded solemnly. ‘Sorry, I guess. How was Duke?’

‘Umm, I didn’t really see her.’

Heather raised an eyebrow. ‘Because she wasn’t there or because you were too busy being worried about your girlfriend?’

Veronica sighed. ‘Fine, it was the second one. But she’s not my girlfriend, mainly because you are forcing me to go out with a murderer.’ She looked down. ‘Heather, do you think Mac will forgive me? For lying to her about this?’

Heather rolled her eyes. ‘Of course she will, Veronica. Mac is one of the most forgiving people I know, and also she’s head over heels in love with you, so there’s that.’ Veronica looked unconvinced, so Heather sighed. ‘I’ll take all of the blame if you’d like. After all, I am the one who put you up to this.’

‘Damn straight.’ Veronica laughed. ‘I’m glad I came here. After all, there’s no one else I can talk to about this is there? Can’t exactly go up to my boyfriend and be like ‘hey sorry, I know I slept with you the other night but I’m actually in love with one of the best friends of the girl you coerced me into killing’ can I?’ Veronica laughed again, but stopped when she saw Heather glaring at her. ‘What?’

‘Veronica Sawyer.’ Heather began. ‘You had sex with a murderer?’

Shit. Veronica’s eyes widened. ‘No?’

Heather shook her head. ‘You. Slept. With. A. Murderer. A serial killer. Veronica, are you mad?’

‘I was drunk and sad, ok? It was just a moment of weakness.’ Veronica tried to shrug it off, but Heather wasn’t having it.

‘A moment of weakness is accidentally breaking your rule for lent. Not having sex with a psychopath!’ Heather sighed. ‘Please tell me, he wasn’t your first.’

Veronica looked at her feet like a child being scolded.

‘Well, I guess you’re sticking to the plan at least. Go, but make sure you come back tomorrow. I need to know what’s going on.’

‘Veronica! It’s for you.’ Her mum called. Reluctantly, she pulled herself off the couch and went to take the phone from her mum.

‘Hello?’

‘Veronica?’ Came the worried voice of Mac. ‘I need help, I’m out at Layman’s farm.’

‘What’s wrong?’ Veronica could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

‘Just hurry, please? It’s an emergency.’

‘Okay.’

Veronica immediately picked up her keys and started her car.

When she reached Mac, she saw that she was with Duke, and Ram and Kurt were behind them.

‘What are you two doing in the middle of a cow pasture?’ Veronica said as they turned to her. Mac looked happy to see her, but Duke just looked relieved.

‘We were headed up to the cemetery to pour thunderbird on Heather’s grave,’ Mac began, ‘you know, from her homies. But then Kurt and Ram saw cows and stopped the car.’

Veronica wrinkled her brow. ‘Why? There’s nothing out here but-’ She was interrupted by Kurt and Ram’s drunken yelling.

‘What are they doing?’ Veronica asked, pointing at the boys.

Duke rolled her eyes. ‘Cow tipping.’

Veronica nodded slowly. ‘Right. So what is it? You need a ride home?’

Duke bit her lip. ‘Not exactly. We made a deal with the guys, that if we got you to show up here, Heather and I could go home.’

As Duke went to get the boys’ attention, Mac pulled Veronica in for a quick hug. ‘I’m so sorry, Ronnie.’ She whispered in Veronica’s ear. Veronica hugged her back tightly. She knew exactly what the boys wanted, but she would do anything to keep their hands off Mac. She’d gone through enough already. Kurt gave Duke the car keys and her and Mac walked off towards it. As Veronica was watching Mac go, Ram came up to her and took her keys out of her hand.

‘Ooh, more keys!’ He exclaimed, as he and Kurt started tossing them between them.

‘No! Guys, give me my keys, I have to get home!’ Veronica jumped up, trying to catch her keys.

‘You can’t just leave.’ Kurt whined.

‘Not when you’re dressed like that.’ Ram added.

‘Dressed like what? This is what I always wear.’ Veronica tried to back away from the drunk, horny teenage boys.

‘Yeah, and it’s torture!’

This was not a situation that would be easy to get out of. Ram and Kurt kept hitting on her left right and centre. So she waited until they were both next to her and then spun around, knocking over both Ram and Kurt. She reached down and picked up her keys out of Ram’s hand and ran to her car. That was a close call.

Veronica walked in to school, keeping an eye out for JD. She thought she would have seen him by now, but he was nowhere to be seen. As she was looking, she nearly walked into someone.

‘Sorry –’ She started, but then saw it was Mac. ‘Hey Mac.’

Mac smiled weakly. ‘Hey, Ronnie. I’m really sorry about last night, are you okay?’

Veronica smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. ‘Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry. They didn’t get a chance to do anything.’

Mac smiled, but then looked confused as she glanced behind Veronica. ‘Is that Heather?’

Veronica turned around and gasped. Duke was wearing essentially a copy of Heather Chandler’s usual red outfit. She opened Heather Chandler’s locker and pulled out the red scrunchie.

‘Hey, that’s Heather’s scrunchie!’ Mac said, distressed.

‘Not anymore.’ Duke put the scrunchie in her hair. ‘It’s my turn, and I will never shut up again.’

Veronica looked confused at her and Duke scoffed. ‘Don’t judge me, little miss innocence. You act so uptight, so virgin white, but I heard from the boys what you were up to last night.’ As she said it, she grabbed Veronica’s diary from her hand and ripped a few pages out and threw them on the floor. Veronica scrambled to pick them up and Mac went to help her.

‘We had a swordfight in her mouth!’ Kurt and Ram yelled and the students around descended into laughter and shouting.

Mac lead Veronica to the stairs and sat down next to her on them. Desperately, Veronica tried to piece together the torn pages of her diary in the right order with shaking hands. Tears dripped onto the pages and Mac wrapped her arm around her as Veronica cried.

‘Veronica?!’ She could hear JD yelling. A small part of her was relieved when she saw him pushing his way through the crowd.

‘What happened?’ He asked as he reached her and put his hands on her shoulders. She was crying too much to answer him.

‘She cried just like that last night.’ Kurt laughed and JD turned to face him. ‘When she saw how big I was!’

Students around her laughed and JD ran at Kurt. Unlike their first fight, Kurt and Ram quickly bested JD and started kicking him on the ground. Veronica let out a strangled cry and tried to pull them away, but was unsuccessful. Two teachers ran up to the boys and pulled them off and led them out of the room. All the students quickly filed out, leaving Veronica and JD alone.

Veronica crouched down beside him. ‘Are you okay?’

JD grimaced, but nodded. ‘Yeah. I am. What about you?’

‘Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Awesome.’ Veronica sniffled, trying her best to hold back more tears. ‘Sorry about the waterworks.’

‘They made you cry.’ JD began, wincing in pain as he moved. ‘But that will end tonight. You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world.’ He ran his hand through her hair, and it was the first time that Veronica’s first instinct hadn’t been to pull away from him.

‘Go on and cry.’ He offered her a watery smile. ‘But when the morning comes, we’ll burn it down and then, we’ll build the world again.’ He took his hand in hers. ‘Our love is God.’

‘Everyone get back to class!’

JD and Veronica stood up slowly and walked to their classes. This was becoming a mess.

‘We have a problem.’ Was the first thing Veronica said to Heather when she entered her house.

‘Oh? What, have you slept with another serial killer?’ Heather asked sweetly and Veronica rolled her eyes.

‘No, we have an actual problem, Heather.’

‘Tell me what’s happened, then.’ Heather shrugged.

‘Well, last night after I left, Mac called and said she needed help. Basically, her and Duke made a deal that if they got me to come then Ram and Kurt would let them go home.’

Heather groaned. ‘Of course. You know that kind of assholery would never have happened while I was in charge. I made the trains run on time and everyone knew their place. I kept Ram and Kurt on a tight leash.’

Veronica raised her eyebrows. ‘Are you done?’

Heather nodded. ‘I suppose. You’ll have to endure this; you’re the only person I’ve spoken to for ages, Veronica. Anyway, did you get away from Ram and Kurt?’

Veronica nodded. ‘Yeah. But this morning, Ram and Kurt lied and said they had a swordfight in my mouth.’ She grimaced. ‘And I cried and JD saw me and he tried to fight them but they started kicking him and then he said that they made me cry but that will end tonight.’

Heather sighed. ‘So you think he’s planning to kill Ram and Kurt?’ Veronica nodded and Heather bit her lip. ‘Okay. I’ll get Ram and Kurt here to explain the plan.’

‘What is the plan?’

Heather closed her eyes for a moment, then nodded. ‘Alright, so, I’ll deal with the two idiots. All you need to do is sabotage JD’s murder method. If it’s poison, swap it for something else. If it’s a gun, steal the bullets. Just do what you have to in order to make sure no one dies. And no matter what, don’t fall for his lies. Okay?’

Veronica nodded. ‘Okay. When you say, ‘deal with the two idiots’, what do you mean?’

‘Make sure they pretend to be dead so that JD thinks they’re dead. Same as me.’ Heather smirked.

‘I’ve got a plan. For revenge on Kurt and Ram.’ JD said casually.

Veronica dreaded what he would say. ‘What?’

‘You’ll need to call them. Tell them to meet you in the cemetery at midnight. Trust me.’ JD smiled at her, but it didn’t make her trust him. But he didn’t need to know that.

‘Yeah-lo?’ Kurt answered.

‘Hi Kurt.’

‘Veronica?’

‘Sorry about the other night. I couldn’t decide which one of you two hot gentlemen I wanted to be with. But then I realised why decide at all?’

‘Wait what?’

‘Meet me at the cemetery. At midnight.’

‘Who? Me or Ram?’

‘Yes.’

JD smiled at her as she put the phone down. ‘Perfect.’

Veronica smiled back, but then saw the gun in his hand. ‘Woah, is that real?’

JD nodded. ‘Yeah, but we’re filling them with ich luge bullets.’

‘Ich luge?’ Veronica asked. JD had taken his chances that Veronica didn’t understand German, but she knew exactly what ‘Ich luge’ meant. It reminded her of what Heather had told her – don’t fall for his lies.

‘My grandad scored them in World War 2. They contain a powerful tranquilizer; the Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. We will use them to knock out Kurt and Ram long enough to make it look like a suicide pact. Complete with a forged suicide note. Something like ‘Ram and I died because we had to hid our gay forbidden love from a disapproving world’. And when the morning comes, they’ll both be laughing stocks.’

Veronica had to admit, if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew JD was lying, it seemed like a pretty good prank. ‘Let’s go hunt some jocks.’

JD gave Veronica the gun as went to get the keys for his motorbike. This was her chance. With her heart pounding in her ears, she quickly emptied the bullets into her hand and shoved them into her pocket. Ram and Kurt were safe from him, for now.

‘Hey Veronica!’ Ram and Kurt ran up to her and she smiled sweetly at them.

‘So we just whip it out or what?’

Veronica raised an eyebrow at Ram. ‘Take it slow, Ram. Strip for me.’

She tried her best to look impressed while they undressed.

Kurt looked at her. ‘What about you?’

‘Well, I was hoping you could rip my clothes off me, sport.’ The words tasted wrong in her mouth, but the two boys squealed excitedly. ‘On the count of three. One. Two.’

‘Three!’ JD yelled and pulled the trigger on the gun. Ram fell to the floor and Kurt ran.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll get him back.’ JD said to Veronica as he ran after him.

‘Ram? You’re just unconscious, right Ram? You’re alive?’ Veronica dropped to look at Ram. He flashed a thumbs up at her and she sighed in relief. They had listened to Heather.

‘Get off the fence! Get off the damn fence!’

Veronica looked behind her. Kurt was trying to climb the fence, with JD pointing the gun at him. He fired the gun and Kurt fell to the ground.

Shakily, Veronica stood up and faced to JD. ‘What the fuck have you done?!’

JD turned to her and smiled. ‘I worship you. I’d trade my life for yours.’ He came behind her and wrapped one arm around her. ‘We’ll make them disappear. We’ll plant our garden here.’ He wrapped his other arm around her, still holding the gun. ‘Our love is God.’

Veronica was very aware of how close the gun was to her. She had taken out the bullets, but what if he had refilled it?

‘Our love is God.’ She muttered, trying to keep the sobs out of her voice. Why the fuck had she let Heather talk her into this?

Veronica’s parents were in the garden, so she took the opportunity to call Heather.

‘Hey. How are you, Veronica?’

‘I’m fucking terrified, Heather. He had a gun right in front of me. I really want out, I wanna break up with him.’

‘Veronica, please don’t do that.’

‘Why not? I’m scared for my life.’

‘That’s why I’m telling you not to! I’m worried that he’ll get angry and then you will actually end up dead. Best friends don’t let best friends get murdered!’

‘Then what did I do? I practically murdered you!’

‘You did the opposite. You made sure I didn’t get murdered. Just be careful around him, okay?’

‘Okay, I will. I have to go to Ram and Kurt’s funeral now. How are they, by the way?’

‘A complete and utter nightmare to have here. But it’s kind of nice having someone to talk to. See you later, Sawyer. Don’t get murdered.’

‘I’ll try.’

She put the phone down. It was going to be a long day.

Veronica got to the funeral a little early, so just waited around.

‘There’s been a lack of girls climbing through my bedroom window lately.’

She turned around to JD, not bothering to attempt to be nice. ‘Take a hint.’

‘Okay, you’re mad. I get it.’ JD rolled his eyes and Veronica folded her arms.

‘No, I don’t think you do. Ich luge bullets? You lied to me.’

JD scoffed. ‘Please, you were lying to yourself. You wanted them dead too.’

‘Did not.’

‘Did too.’

‘Did not.’

‘Did too.’

‘Did not.’

‘Did they make you cry?’ JD asked.

Veronica shrugged. ‘Yes.’

JD pointed at their coffins. ‘Can they make you cry now?’

Veronica stared at him. How could he be so insensitive? ‘No, but you can.’

‘Just wait til you see what good will come of this.’

Veronica sighed. ‘What good could possibly come of this?’

JD smiled shyly. ‘Call me an optimist.’ He tried to kiss her but she pulled away. They went and sat next to each other in the pews.

Paul Kelly – Kurt’s dad – stood next to his son’s coffin and Bill Sweeney next to Ram’s.

Paul spoke. ‘I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say up here. I’m ashamed, certainly. When I think of the sick, disgusting things Kurt and Ram were doing – ’

‘You wait just a minute Paul!’ Bill yelled, tears in his eyes. ‘It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world our boys could not live in! They were not dirty! They were not wrong! They were two lonely verses in the Lord’s great song!’

‘Our boys were pansies, Bill!’ Paul gestured to Bill.

‘Yes! My boy’s a homosexual, and it don’t scare me none. I want the world to know that I love my dead gay son.’

Everyone started quietly whispering to each other as Bill continued to tell Paul why he still cared.

‘Paul, I can’t believe that you still refuse to get a clue! After all that we’ve been through, I’m talking you and me – in the summer of 83.’

Everyone gasped and Paul stared at Bill. ‘That,’ he shook his head, ‘was one hell of a fishing trip.’

Paul and Bill walked towards each other and kissed while everyone cheered.

Just as they were the first to arrive, JD and Veronica were the last to leave.

As they walked out, JD sniffed. ‘Hm. What is that I smell? Is that … tolerance? Inclusion? Love? How often can you say it’s a good day to live in Sherwood Ohio?’ He cupped his hands around his mouth like a megaphone. ‘You’re welcome, town!’

‘You don’t have to be so smug about it.’ Veronica avoided eye contact with him.

‘Your love keeps me humble.’ JD kissed her on the cheek and Veronica grimaced. ‘So, who’s next?’

Veronica stared at him in horror. ‘What?’

‘Heather Duke?’ He shrugged. ‘She started that rumour about you.’

‘No!’ Veronica yelled. ‘Three people are dead. This ends now.’

‘Or what?’ JD replied, his voice rising in volume.

‘Or I’m breaking up with you!’

‘Every war has casualties. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth fighting.’ JD sighed when Veronica looked down. ‘What? You’d rather go to jail? Give a free pass to the assholes who hurt people and make life so unbearable that you can’t stand to live in the world anymore!’

‘JD!’ Veronica yelled to get him to stop talking. She paused for a while before asking, ‘How did your mother die?’

JD stopped walking to look at her. ‘You really wanna know?’

Veronica nodded solemnly.

JD sighed. ‘My dad said it was an accident. But she knew what she was doing. I was nine. Dad had this condemned library in Texas. But this time, my mum drives out to the demolition before he blows it up, with me in the backseat. She walks in two minutes before and waves to me out the window and then … ka-boom. She left me.’ A few solitary tears dripped down his face.

Veronica put her hand on his arm, tears brimming in her own eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

JD smiled at her through the tears. ‘It’s okay. The pain gives me clarity. You and I are special; we have a lot of work to do.’

‘What work?’

‘Making the world a decent place for people who are decent!’ His voice was rising again.

‘When does it end?’ Veronica shouted, distressed.

‘When every asshole is dead!’

‘No!’ Veronica pushed him away from her, then looked back at him. ‘Fine. We’re damaged. Really damaged. But that does not make us wise. We’re not special, we’re not different, we don’t choose who lives or dies.’

She offered her hand out to him. ‘Can’t we be seventeen? That’s all I want to do. If you could let me in, I could be good with you.’

Slowly but surely, he reached out for her hand. ‘You’re the one I choose.’

‘Veronica I need your help!’ Martha said urgently, running up to her in the hallway.

‘Sure, what’s up?’ Veronica asked, concerned.

‘Something doesn’t add up; I think Ram and Kurt were murdered.’

The words hit Veronica like a freight train. She could deal with Heather telling her what to do, she could cope with JD’s murderous nature, for now at least, but this? How was she supposed to deal with this?

‘Why would you say that? They found a suicide note.’ Veronica tried to reason.

Martha shook her head. ‘It could’ve been faked! I mean, you forge stuff all the time, right?’

Veronica was trying her best to keep her breathing steady. ‘That’s ridiculous. Who would want to kill Kurt and Ram?’

‘I’m thinking your friend, JD? You saw how he went after them in the lunchroom. I wanna look in his locker, maybe you could get me the combination?’

What would be in his locker? Maybe a gun and some ‘ich luge’ bullets.

‘I don’t care what they were saying at the funeral – Ram was not gay! Why would he write me that note if he didn’t still feel something? I’m gonna confront JD.’

‘No!’ Veronica grabbed Martha’s arm before she could walk away. ‘Martha, look. I hate this, but I think I wrote that note you got from Ram.’

‘What?’ Martha asked, looking hurt.

‘Heather Chandler asked me to write it a couple days before the party. I didn’t know what she did with it. I’m so sorry.’

‘Oh.’ Martha looked distraught. ‘I guess that explains what he said to me at the party.’ She sniffled, before adding, ‘We should get to Miss Flemming’s assembly.’ She ran off and Veronica felt terrible, but there was nothing she could do.

‘Listen up kids.’ Ms Flemming said, holding a microphone. ‘We need to shine a light on our deepest fears. So work with me here! I want you to share your pain and drag it into the light where we can all look at it!’

‘I’ve thought about killing myself.’ Mac put her hand up and walked forward. Veronica stared at her, shocked.

‘Heather Macnamara, share that feeling.’ Miss Flemming brought her forward to the centre. Shit, Veronica thought, they’re going to eat her alive.

‘Heather, not here, let’s go somewhere we can talk, just you and me –’ Veronica tried to grab Mac’s arm.

‘Veronica Sawyer, no one gave you permission to speak.’ Miss Flemming shooed her away. ‘Heather, share. It’s just you, and me, and the classmates who love you.’

Mac bit her lip. ‘The guy I used to date killed himself cause he was gay for his linebacker. And my best friend seemed to have it all together, but now she’s gone too. And my stomach hurts worse and worse, and every morning on the bus I hear my heart beating louder and faster and I’m like Jesus I’m on the fricking bus again cause all my rides to school are dead.’ Mac paused and it was breaking Veronica’s heart to see her like this. ‘I float in a boat, in a raging black ocean, with nowhere to go. The tiniest lifeboat, with people I know. And everyone’s pushing, everyone’s fighting, storms are approaching – there’s nowhere to hide! If I say the wrong thing, or I wear the wrong outfit, they’ll throw me right over the side. I’m hugging my knees and the captain is pointing – well who made her captain? Still, the weakest must go. The tiniest lifeboat with people I know.’ Mac looked down.

‘What’s your damage, Heather?’ Everyone turned to face Duke. ‘Are you saying Westerberg is not a nice place? Where’s your school spirit? You don’t deserve to wear our school colours!’

‘Heather, enough –’ Miss Flemming began.

‘Why don’t you hop into your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remmington?’

‘Aw, look, Heather’s gonna cry.’ Someone yelled and Mac ran out of the room.

Miss Flemming pointed at Duke. ‘Young lady, you are suspended. Turn the cameras off. Turn them off, dammit.’

‘Is that all you care about? TV cameras?’ Veronica ran to the front, facing Miss Flemming.

Miss Flemming looked lost for words. ‘I – I care about saving lives. Heather Duke ruined a valuable teaching – ’

‘Valuable?’ Veronica interrupted. ‘None of us wanted this spectacle! To be experimented on like guinea pigs; patronised like bunny rabbits!’

Miss Flemming looked offended. ‘I don’t patronise bunny rabbits.’

‘Heather trusted you. You said that you would protect her.’ Veronica started, holding back her own tears. ‘You’re useless. And all of you are idiots. Heather wasn’t a saint and neither were Kurt and Ram. And they didn’t kill themselves, I killed them!’ She blurted out without realising, then slapped her hand over her mouth.

Silence. And then…

‘Hahaha!’ Duke exclaimed. ‘Some people will say anything if they think it will make them popular.’ She turned to Veronica. ‘You’re worse than Macnamara.’

‘Mac.’ Veronica said as she ran out of the room.

She ran down to the bathroom where she saw Mac with a pill bottle in her hand. ‘Heather, no!’ She grabbed the bottle out of her hand as Mac sank to the floor.

‘Suicide is a private thing.’ Mac mumbled, mouth full of pills.

‘Throwing your life away so they can print your picture under the headline ‘Troubled Teen’ in USA Today? That’s about the least private thing I can think of.’ Veronica said.

‘But what about Heather, and Kurt and Ram?’ Mac looked at Veronica.

‘If everyone jumped off a bridge, young lady, would you?’

Mac nodded, ashamed. ‘Probably.’

Veronica gently held Mac’s hand. ‘If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game show host.’

Mac smiled weakly and Veronica let out a sigh of relief as she spat the pills out into her hand. ‘Ronnie, I miss Heather.’ She sniffled, and Veronica realised she was crying.

Veronica put an arm around her and Mac cried softly into her shoulder. ‘I know. I miss her too.’

When Mac’s cries got quiet, Veronica spoke. ‘Hey Mac? Can I ask you something?’

Mac nodded silently, and Veronica continued. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? That you felt like this?’

Mac fumbled with the fabric of Veronica’s shirt. ‘I guess, I was scared that you would react like Duke did.’

Veronica nodded. ‘That was horrible of her – ’

Mac shook her head and looked up at her. ‘It’s not Duke’s fault. She’s trying to fill Heather’s shoes and grieve for her at the same time. She’s a mess, and I know that doesn’t make it better what she did to me, or what she did to you. But she’s still a good person, and still my friend.’

Veronica rubbed her back slowly. ‘Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.’ She paused. It was obvious that Heather’s death had hit Mac hard, and it was taking every part of Veronica’s being not to just blurt it out right there. ‘Mac?’

‘Yeah?’ Mac was looking down again, intertwining fingers with Veronica.

‘Can you promise me something?’

Mac gazed up at her. ‘What?’

‘If you feel like this again, please talk to me first.’ Veronica looked at Mac.

Mac bit her lip, and nodded. ‘Okay. I promise.’ She said in a voice so quiet Veronica could barely hear it.

‘There’s also something else.’

‘Yeah?’ Mac leant further into her.

‘I have a secret. It’s really killing me that I can’t tell you what it is. But hopefully, soon I’ll be allowed to. I can’t promise that it’ll make everything better, but it’ll make everything a bit less worse, you know? But you might end up hating me for keeping it from you.’

Mac played with Veronica’s fingers. ‘I don’t think I could ever hate you, Ronnie.’

For a minute, they just sat there, with Veronica’s arm around her and their fingers intertwined. This was what she wanted, a quiet, warm embrace with the one she loved, not the cold, terrifying grip of a murderer.

‘Veronica?’ Mac’s timid voice cut through the silence and brought Veronica back to reality.

‘Yeah?’

Mac shifted to look directly into her eyes. ‘Thanks for coming after me.’

‘You’re welcome.’ Veronica said as Mac pulled her into a hug. Veronica hugged her back tightly, fighting back tears. She’d be damned if this stupid plot was going to take Mac from her.

‘What’s wrong? You look angry.’ Heather said as Veronica stormed into her house.

‘Mac tried to kill herself today.’ Veronica turned to look Heather in the face.

Heather’s eyes widened. ‘What? Oh my God, is she okay?’

‘Yeah, I think so. I took her home after it happened. She spoke up in Miss Flemmings assembly and people laughed at her.’ Veronica sighed. ‘Heather, this is killing me. Mac is broken because of your death and I’m sitting there knowing damn well you’re alive and I can’t tell her. I want to break up with JD.’

Heather nodded slowly. ‘Okay. But listen to me, Veronica. If you think for a second that he is going to hurt you, take it back. Okay? We need you alive. Mac needs you.’

Veronica nodded at her, with tears in her eyes. ‘Heather, I nearly lost her today. I can’t lose her.’

Heather pulled her into a hug. ‘I know. We’re going to tell her soon, yeah? It’ll all be fine.’ Veronica nodded.

‘Umm.’ Veronica said as she pulled away from the hug. ‘By the way, something else happened. Well, a couple of things actually. Umm, the first thing JD said to me after Ram and Kurt’s funeral was ‘whos next’. And I think he might be planning to kill Duke, but he hasn’t said anything else about it.’

‘Shit.’ Heather said and Veronica snorted.

‘Yeah. Also Martha came up to me today and said that she thought Ram and Kurt were murdered.’

‘Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.’

Veronica almost laughed. ‘And the other thing, umm, well. I kind of accidentally blurted out in front of the entire school that I killed you and Kurt and Ram.’

Heather raised her eyebrows. ‘You did what?’

‘Duke actually helped cover it up, even if she didn’t realise it.’

‘Bet JD’s gonna be pissed.’ Heather pointed out.

‘I should go over to his house now.’

‘Hey Veronica.’ Heather said as Veronica turned to leave.

‘Yeah?’

‘Keep Mac safe.’

Veronica nodded. She’d do anything to keep her safe.

Veronica entered JD’s house and saw him in the living room.

‘Hey.’ She greeted him. ‘So, I’m guessing you’re mad?’

He shook his head slightly. ‘I’m not mad. Just confused. You said you wanted us to be normal teenagers. I did that. I joined the goddamn AV club for you.’

Veronica looked down. ‘I know.’

‘Do you know what would have happened if they had actually believed your confession?’ JD’s voice was wavering from its usual emotionless, ‘Handcuffs. Separate cells. Cops trying to turn us against each other right up until they ship us off to different prisons. Is that what you want?’

‘Of course not.’ Veronica shook her head.

‘What then?’

Veronica sighed. ‘Everyone’s cashing on these fake suicides, making it about themselves. It’s a sick trend and we started it.’

JD shrugged. ‘Turning ourselves in won’t stop human nature.’

‘Then what will? Flemming’s little kumbaya party almost ended with Heather Mac dead on the bathroom floor.’ Veronica desperately tried to keep the tears at bay. JD couldn’t know how she felt.

‘Flemming isn’t the monster here; Heather Duke is! She’s the one who made Macnamara wanna die!’

‘Duke is a mess, she’s trying to fill Heather’s shoes and grieve for her at the same time. She’s still a good person.’ Veronica found herself repeating Mac’s words.

JD shook his head. ‘No, you wanna slay the dragon? Cut off its head. But no, you’d rather treat the bubonic plague with band-aids. We had the power to change things and we gave that up to be normal teenagers. Good luck at school tomorrow, Heather Mac! Hope you don’t die!’

If he had turned to face Veronica in that moment, he would’ve seen the tears in her eyes. ‘We are out of the changed business. You made a promise, remember?’

Veronica started talking and JD argued back.

‘Stop talking over me!’

JD was shocked by Veronica’s outburst. ‘I’m sorry.’

Slowly, he pulled her into a kiss. She didn’t have the thought to push him away.

‘Stop playing grab ass and wait for me in the car!’

Veronica nearly screamed at the voice of JD’s dad and ran into the hall.

‘I’m in the middle of something.’ JD said, angrily.

‘I need back up. Our friends have another job for us. Kaboom!’ His father chuckled.

There was a pause and Veronica thought she should leave. Then…

‘I said I’m busy!’ JD yelled.

Veronica heard JD’s father move closer to him. ‘Lots of pretty women out there, sport. I could make another son any time I wanted. Now. Get. In. The. Car.’

It was starting to make sense to Veronica why JD was the way he was. If he had dealt with this his whole life, he would be a bit fucked up.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a gunshot and walked back in the room. JD’s father had gone outside, and JD had shot the TV.

‘Dammit, Jason. No firearms in the house!’ Came the voice from outside.

JD turned to see Veronica’s horrified face. ‘What? It pissed off my dad, it’s funny.’

‘None of this is funny.’ Veronica gestured to the gun in his hand. ‘Why are you carrying a loaded weapon?’

‘Protection.’ JD shrugged.

‘From what?’ She pointed at the TV. ‘Reruns?’

‘Let’s have a real conversation.’ JD said, walking towards her.

Veronica shook her head at him sadly. ‘Martha was right about you. She was right and I broke her heart.’

‘Let’s talk about Heather Duke.’

‘No.’ Veronica faced him. ‘Let’s talk about you. You are a drug, I’ve got to kick this habit now or I never will. I loved the rush when you would hold me close, but you will not be satisfied until I overdose. I say no.’

‘But, Veronica I love you!’ JD yelled, accidentally aiming the gun at her.

Veronica pointed to it. ‘Dude.’

JD lowered the gun and Veronica shook her head. ‘Goodbye, JD.’

Veronica and Mac were sat at their table in the lunchroom when Duke came up to them.

‘Hey guys. Missed you after third period.’ She said brightly.

‘We were avoiding you because you haven’t apologised to Mac yet.’ Veronica folded her arms.

Duke pretended not to hear them. ‘Sign this.’ She handed over the clipboard and Mac reluctantly took the pen after glancing at Veronica.

‘What is it?’ Veronica asked.

‘It’s a petition to have MTV throw a spring break blow out to raise support for suicide awareness. I’ve got everybody to sign it, people love me. I’m gonna make an inspirational speech about it at the pep rally tonight.’ Duke looked pleased with herself.

‘Ooh, count me out.’ Veronica rolled her eyes. She believed what Mac had said about Duke, but it didn’t stop her being pissed for now.

‘Don’t pop a tampon, Veronica. It was your boyfriend’s idea. He made up the signature sheet and everything.’ Duke gestured to the sheet. Veronica furrowed her brow. What was JD up to?

‘Listen, I don’t know what JD is up to, but if you know what’s good for you then you’ll throw this clipboard away.’

Duke snatched the clipboard out of Mac’s hand. ‘Not a chance. This is important work we’re doing. I mean, now Martha Dumptruck?

Veronica stared at her. ‘What about Martha?’

‘I hear last night she did a cannonball off the Millcreek Bridge holding a suicide note.’

‘Oh my God! Is she alive?’ Veronica stood up and Mac put a hand on her shoulder.

‘Just some broken bones. Yet another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.’

Duke walked away and Mac rubbed Veronica’s arm. ‘Are you okay?’

Veronica shrugged. It was her fault. Her fault that Martha had tried to kill herself. Her fault that Mac had too. Everything was her fault.

‘Where have you been?’ Her mother said as Veronica came in.

‘We’ve been worried sick.’ Her father added.

Veronica raised an eyebrow. ‘Why?’

‘Your friend JD stopped by; he told us everything.’ Her dad said. ‘Your depression, your thoughts of suicide.’

Her mother held the book to her. ‘He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick.’

Veronica looked at the pages, and the annotations. ‘This is not my handwriting.’

‘There’s a doctor in Cleveland, we’d like you to talk with him.’ Her mother rubbed her arm.

‘What kind of doctor?’ Veronica asked shakily.

‘Psychiatric.’ Her father said.

‘You’re sending me to a shrink?’ Veronica said, panic rising in her voice.

‘There’s no shame in getting help.’ Her father tried to reason.

Veronica shook her head. ‘I am not the problem.’

She ran up to her room and slammed the door behind her.

‘Knock knock.’ The voice of JD came from her window. Her heart stopped and she looked around her room for a place to hide. The closet.

‘Sorry to come in through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know.’ JD’s voice sounded cheery, which did nothing but scare her.

‘Get out of my house.’ She said, locking the closet door.

‘Hiding in the closet? Come on, open the door.’

‘No!’ She yelled, shaking. ‘I’ll scream and my parents will call the police.’

‘All is forgiven baby!’ JD said gleefully. ‘Come out and get dressed, you’re my date to the pep rally tonight!’

‘What? Why?’

‘Our classmates thought they were signing a petition – you gotta come out here and see what they really signed! You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead – but then it hit me like a flash what if high school went away instead? So I built a bomb.’

Veronica tried to keep breathing normally as the tears dripped down her face. JD was going to blow up the school, and he was either going to kill her or force her along with him.

‘I was meant to be yours! Veronica! Open the door please!’

Veronica started to hyperventilate and look around the closet and saw some bedsheets. She didn’t have another choice.

‘I’m gonna count to three! One, two fuck it!’ JD yelled and ripped the door open. He fell to his knees when he saw Veronica hanging there, lifeless.

‘No. I can’t do this alone. Please don’t leave me. Still, I’ll do what I must.’

‘Veronica? AAAH!’ She heard her mother scream and untied the noose. JD was nowhere to be seen.

‘No, no, no, no. Mum, please it was just,’ She tried to think of a plausible excuse, ‘a joke.’

‘It’s not funny!’ Her mother yelled, then she noticed the tear lines on Veronica’s face. ‘Have you been crying?’

Veronica quickly muttered an excuse before bolting downstairs and picking up the phone.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘He’s got a bomb, Heather! He’s going to blow up the school! At the pep rally!’

‘Working on it. Get to school, now!’

Before she left the house, Veronica grabbed her croquet mallet. She could need it.

‘Veronica?’ Miss Flemming stopped Veronica in the hallway, looking confused. ‘Jason Dean told me you’d just committed suicide?’

Veronica nodded quickly. ‘Yeah, well he’s wrong about a lot of things. Miss Flemming, what’s under the gym?’

‘The boiler room.’ Miss Flemming shrugged. ‘Veronica, what’s going on?’

‘Got no time to talk, I’m a dead girl walking!’ Veronica yelled as she ran down the hallway.

She quietly entered the boiler room, and saw JD setting a timer on the bomb.

‘Step away from the bomb.’

JD raised his gun towards her but his expression changed when he saw who it was. ‘Veronica? I thought you’d lost your taste for faking suicides.’

Veronica could see he’d been crying. ‘I said step away from the bomb.’

JD laughed and pointed to the bomb. ‘Oh, this little thing? I’d hardly call this a bomb. This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs in the gym – now, those are bombs. People will see the ashes of Westerberg High and think there’s a school that self-destructed not because society doesn’t care, but because that school was society. The only place where Heathers and Marthas can get along is in heaven!’

‘I wish your mum had been a little stronger.’ Veronica winced as JD pointed the gun at her head.

‘Don’t talk about my mum!’

‘I wish she’d stayed around a little longer.’

‘Stop!’ JD yelled.

‘I wish your dad were good! I wish grown-ups understood! I wish we’d met before they convinced you, life is war! I wish you’d come with me!’ This was absolutely the last chance she would give him. His last chance at redemption.

‘I wish I had more TNT!’

She swung her mallet at him and he buckled over and she tried to grab the gun out of his hand. He ducked and threw the mallet on the floor.

Bang!

They both fell to the ground.

‘Was it good for you?’ JD murmured. ‘Kind of sucked for me.’

Veronica pulled herself up to a sitting position and scooched over to JD. ‘Which wire do I pull? JD, which wire?’

She shook him, but his eyes were closed. Quickly she stood up and shrieked in pain. Her ankle must have sprained or broken during the struggle. She stumbled over to the bomb and picked it up. 14 minutes.

Veronica groaned as she fell to the ground.

‘You’ll never make it. Not on that ankle.’ JD stumbled after her.

‘How much further?’ She asked.

‘Middle of the football field should do it.’ JD walked over to her. ‘Let me take it the rest of the way.’

‘No, it’s a trick.’

JD let out a short laugh. ‘You flatter me. But I’m damaged. And you’re not beyond repair. God knows why you wanna save them, but you beat me fair and square. Please stand back now.’

Veronica stood up and moved back.

‘Little further.’

Veronica rolled her eyes and moved back a bit further, but her ankle gave out and she fell to the ground again.

20 seconds.

JD choked back tears. ‘Our love is God.’

10 seconds.

Veronica looked up at him.

5 seconds.

‘Say hi to God.’

4 seconds.

3 seconds.

2 seconds.

1 second.

Veronica closed her eyes. And … nothing.

She looked up at him. ‘The hell? You made a fake bomb?’

JD looked equally confused and shook his head.

‘Police, down on the ground! Hands on your head.’

JD fell to the floor, and police officers arrested him.

Veronica stumbled to her feet. ‘He’s been shot, he needs an ambulance.’ It was the least she could do. One of the police officers nodded and called for one as Veronica headed back into school.

She winced as she walked into the gym.

‘Veronica?’ Veronica turned to see Mac looking at her. Mac ran over and hugged her. ‘Where have you been? Miss Flemming told us you’d killed yourself.’

Veronica winced again. ‘Mac, I’ll tell you everything, just I can’t stand on this ankle.’

Mac helped Veronica to a nearby table where she sat down. ‘Ronnie, I thought I’d lost you.’

Veronica could tell Mac was holding back tears, so she held her hand. ‘You’ll never lose me, Mac. I promise.’

‘Veronica? You look like hell.’ Duke walked over to the two of them.

Veronica shrugged. ‘Yeah? I just got back.’

‘What happened?’ Mac asked.

‘JD has been arrested. By the way, Heather, Kurt and Ram didn’t kill themselves.’

Mac was about to say something, when they saw JD being walked through the school.

When JD saw Veronica, he called out to her. ‘Veronica! I wanna apologise.’

‘Hope you brought kneepads, bitch!’

Veronica couldn’t help but smile as she heard that voice. Mac and Duke however, looked terrified.

‘Did everyone else hear that?’ Mac asked timidly.

Heather Chandler came strutting into the gym, with all eyes on her. She turned her attention to JD, who couldn’t be more confused. ‘Jesse James! Quelle surprise!’

‘Quelle surprise indeed.’ JD quietly muttered.

‘Heather?’ Duke asked, stepping closer to her.

Heather nodded. Duke ran to her and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug. Heather smiled and hugged her back. After Duke released her, she walked over to Mac and hugged her too. Mac started sniffling and Heather patted her head.

‘What the hell is going on?’ Duke asked, trying to act strong but Veronica could see her tears.

Heather laughed. ‘That is kind of a long story.’

‘Veronica Sawyer!’ Detective Dolater had entered the gym. ‘I thought I told you to be careful around Jason Dean.’

Veronica pointed at Heather. ‘She made me do it.’

Detective Dolater turned to Heather. ‘Well, while I don’t condone your actions, Heather, the evidence you gave us is very helpful so thank you.’ He turned back to Veronica. ‘Both of you.’

Veronica wrinkled her brow. ‘How come you know her name?’

Heather turned to her. ‘You didn’t think I was just going to let the police know about all of this at the end, did you?’

Detective Dolater smirked as he left the room after JD.

‘What’s all of this? What’s going on?’ Duke asked.

Veronica sighed. ‘The police contacted me a while back to say that JD was a suspected serial killer. I didn’t know what to do so I went to Heather, and we made this plot to prove it.’

‘Does this mean Ram and Kurt are alive too?’ Mac asked.

‘Hell yeah, we are!’ Ram yelled as he ran into the gym next to Kurt.

‘Punch it in!’ Kurt yelled.

Veronica stared at Heather. ‘Umm, Heather, did you tell them that everyone thinks they’re gay now?’

Heather’s eyes widened and she shook her head. Veronica laughed. ‘Well, that’s their problem now.’

‘This was the secret you were talking about, wasn’t it Ronnie?’ Mac looked at her as she nodded.

‘Yeah. I really wanted to tell you, but I was scared that Heather was going to murder me.’

Mac smiled. ‘I get that. So why did JD get arrested just then?’

‘He had a bomb.’ Veronica started, wrinkling her brow. ‘But it turned out to be a fake, which he didn’t know about so I don’t know – Heather?’

Heather looked at her. ‘I may have had something to do with the swapping of the bombs.’

‘How?’

Heather shrugged. ‘Well, I couldn’t do it and I needed someone on the outside to do it, and it couldn’t be you, Veronica. You’d have got there too late. So I sent a little rumour around about her attempting suicide and –’

‘Veronica?’ Veronica turned to see Martha smiling at her. No broken bones.

‘Martha!’ Veronica smiled and hugged her. ‘Why did you get Martha to do it?’ She said to Heather. ‘And I thought you hated Heather.’

Martha shook her head. ‘Heather called me the day after I told you I thought JD had killed Ram and Kurt and told me everything. She also apologised for everything to do with Ram’s party. And when she told me about the bomb, I knew I had to do something.’

Veronica smiled at her. ‘Thanks. You saved my life.’

Martha smiled back. ‘You’re welcome.’

Heather cleared her throat. ‘Well, me and Heather need to talk about some things, as do you and Mac, Veronica.’

Heather practically dragged Duke away and Martha walked away to give them some privacy.

‘What do we need to talk about?’ Mac asked Veronica.

Veronica sighed. ‘Mac, I don’t even know where to start. I’m so sorry for hiding Heather being alive from you – ’

‘Are you kidding me?’ Mac interrupted. ‘This is the best day of my life. My best friend isn’t dead, and neither are you!’

Veronica smiled at her. ‘So you forgive me?’

Mac laughed. ‘Of course. Always, Ronnie.’

Veronica gulped. ‘So there’s that. Also, I really didn’t want to be with JD when I found out what he is. In fact, the only reason why I wanted to date him in the first place was because I thought it could distract me from the person I’m really in love with, who I thought didn’t love me back. Only now, I’m not so sure that’s true.’

‘Who is it?’ Mac asked quietly.

Veronica took a deep breath. ‘It’s you, Mac. I’m absolutely head over heels in love with you. And it scared the shit out of me the other day when you tried to – ’ She couldn’t bring herself to say it, ‘I can’t lose you Mac. And I want nothing more than to be with you.’

‘Really?’ Mac asked timidly and Veronica nodded. ‘Cause I’m in love with you too, Ronnie. And the other day, I’m glad that it was you with me, because I don’t think anyone else could have convinced me not to go through with it. And today, when I heard the rumour about you killing yourself, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I just want to be with you.’

Veronica smiled at her. Slowly, she cupped Mac’s cheek and kissed her slowly. It was very different from kissing JD. His was always controlling, and feeling trapped. But with Mac, she kissed like she thought if she ever stopped Veronica would disappear.

Eventually, they pulled away from each other. Veronica beamed at Mac, and Mac beamed back.

‘I love you, Mac.’

‘I love you too, Ronnie.’

McNamara: "I'm gay!"