#lyproject

The Blank Page was staring at me. Not saying a word or betraying any emotion. Yet communicating so much. As if he was speaking through silence. "Fraud. Failure. You can't write. You're not worthy of my attention."

We'd been here so many times before Blank Page and I. He always seemed to have the upper hand for some reason. His cold calm demeanor would keep me at a distance, unable to get over that hurdle that was keeping me from starting. That first word. Which, when you think of it, is quite funny. After all, I literally had all the power in this relationship. With just one keystroke I would break the spell and turn Blank Page into My First Page.

Yet today, I just kept staring at him. Watching the cursor flash. Flash. Flash. Without a word coming out to break the monotony.

There were so many reasons. "I'm too tired, I'll do it in the morning instead." Or "Nothing good can come out at this [insert anytime of day] hour." Often the reasons weren't even formed thoughts or sentences, but actions. Flipping to another tab just to look that one thing up. Ooops, and I'm drowning in notifications on Facebook. Getting up to pour myself some more coffee. Removing my phone from my pocket to the table. Just checking that one message. And then one more thing...

Lets face it. All reasons are just excuses. Good excuses perhaps, but excuses nonetheless. My colleague Bernie Roth loves to say that "If my life depended on it, I'd be on time for every meeting." Even when his car got a flat tire, he forgot to bring his bag and had to turn back home or traffic was just too bad. Acknowledge that your reasons are excuses and stop making them. Once you start the spell is broken and the journey begins. All you need to do then is to ride along.

Ten minutes ago the Blank Page was winning. Then I began, simply by acknowledging the moment. Now you're reading My First Page instead.

I love taking risks. One might call me a risk-seeker, I have developed a ridiculously high tolerance for uncertainty and the unknown. I love it, this attitude has helped make me a stronger, more resilient person who is constantly practicing fortitude. I feel most comfortable when I get out of an airport in a foreign country where I don't know anyone, the language or where I'm going to sleep that night. This necessity to figure it out and make things happen is exhilarating and enriching. Taking risks isn't easy though and it's never something that happens without fear or challenges.

I get this feeling of being scared, unsure, apprehension all the time. I'm on a continual learning path to recognizing this sentiment and acting mindfully. This means that I recognize the fear, I don't try and push it away or suppress it, I embrace it with open arms and keep moving forward. Doing this has taught me to be hyper-aware of each step in this quest of life because I'm really paying attention and observing what's going on and what I'm doing. As they say, the journey is greater than the destination.

For example, I took a leap and embarked on a canoe journey in the wild jungle down the Rio San Juan- no guide and zero prior canoeing experience. I knew it was going to be scary and difficult, but I also knew it was going to be awesome, maybe even one of those 'once in a lifetime experiences' and I believed I could do it. So, I didn't let all that talk of crocodiles, sharks and rain scare me and kept hustling hard to convince someone to rent me a canoe. The positivity coupled with my fearless fear led me to a spectacular experience where I learned much more than I've ever learned in a classroom.

This is what the Leap Year Project is all about. The year-long project focused on connecting every-day people who are taking risks to change their worlds. Victor chronicled the project in a beautiful book full of inspiring and heartfelt stories from leapers around the world. If you've ever dreamed of doing something that makes a difference, taking a walk on the path less traveled or learning by doing, then do yourself a favor and check this book out. The proceeds will be used to launch a scholarship fund for the Experience Institute, a higher education program reinventing the classroom through real-world experiences.

Week 52: All is quiet...

Wow. 52 weeks have come and gone. I have a real body of work from the past year. Not only have I written and produced 52 pieces of music, but I've also written about 150 ideas that never made it past the first round of selection. Not all of them are good, but some of them are worth expanding. I'm excited about the possibility.

This week's song steals a line from a famous pop hit, though not on purpose. I was writing at the piano, and I often sing and record the first pass of an idea, especially if I'm writing music and lyrics at the same time. It popped out, and I thought, well, let's try it on for size. It fits the mood of the song, I think, and isn't a copy cat at all. I don't know...I kind of like it, though.

Week 51: Winter is coming...

No, this is not a Game-of-Thrones-style submission. Holiday song, in 6/8 time. Come on, people. Keep up. :)

I was watching White Christmas this week with a friend, and we discussed Danny Kaye vs. Bing Crosby (aka der Binglehofer) - Bing just has this undefinable thing about his voice. Danny Kaye - funny guy, great dancer, great singer. But not quite there in terms of sheer musicality. Of course, one of the songs in that movie is the classic, "Snow." Irving Berlin, the man who wrote it, never learned to play in more than one key and used a transposing piano to write his music. Technology - allowing anyone to bring the song in their hearts to life.

Week 50: Christmas is here...

Not quite. But we're close! This week, I had the pleasure of a jam session with my good friend and co-worker Jon, a rock bassist and an all-around nice dude. He'd posted to Facebook that he wanted to jam with any interested musician friends, and I buzzed him right away. A couple of hours later, pizza and bourbon in our bellies, we made the first part of this. In the back halls of my little recording studio, I've got 13 takes of Jon playing around with this gospel/blues chord progression, but I kept the choice ones for this track.

Week 49: Wheels in motion...

Another Christmas song, this one came to me while actually RIDING a train. Public transit instead of Orient Express, but still a train. I was thinking of how travel can bring people together, and how when it's two people in love, that time spent traveling is not on the journey, but the destination.

Week 48: 'Cause It's Christmas Eve...

Okay, it's not quite Christmas Eve yet. We've still got 24 days and a few hours. I wanted to get into the holiday spirit early, though. I decided sometime in July that I'd do four Christmas/holiday songs and a New Year's Eve tune at the end of the year, and this is the first. One complication came about - I'm at a conference this weekend, starting tomorrow. I won't be able to procrastinate like I normally do, so I had to do it early. Of course, I still procrastinated, but in a much quicker way. ;)

Week 47: Live and die...

I had a couple of great songs that just wouldn't come this week. Guess that is what happens when you have more time than usual on your hands. :) This morning, I went through the MIDI loops I have, and found a couple that did something interesting. Of course, I can't resist a little tinkering, and this was the case here. After some structuring, and an inspired Motown beat, I went searching for lyrics.