#lucyedwards

Stephen: What do you think about this party?

Lucy: It’s great idea, really! Maybe Stacie meet a handsome guy.

Stephen: Don’t you want to meet somebody? Do you have a crush Lucy? Why I never know anything about it?

Dear Lucy,

It is lovely to think that you and your sister became closer through your shared interest in make-up. You're right, everyone needs a sister figure in their life. While growing up with my brother was lots of fun, I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. Luckily for me, I have now found sisterhood in amazing friends like yourself, who feel just as close as family. Somebody to share everything with and grow with and learn new things together with along the way.

Now, the big news since last we spoke...

YOU'RE ENGAGED!!! 💖💖💖

Congratulations, my darling. I am absolutely thrilled for you and Ollie, what a perfect couple you are. I know you have really been there for each other through so many ups and downs and kept each other strong throughout. Your ability to communicate with each other and understand each other's needs is beautiful. I am sure you give hope to many people who wonder if they will ever find somebody upon whom they can rely in that way. It is a very special thing to see.

What do you think is most important in a relationship? Is it having things in common? Is it being able to talk openly and honestly about your feelings? Is it trusting that person with all your heart? Or is it something else?

As always, to anybody else, join in the discussion by using #letterstoablindgirl - we'd be really interested to hear what you think. Don't forget to check out Lucy's letters at lucyedwardsofficial.com

RSVP Tuesday, Lucy! 💖

Dear Lucy,

You are a very motivational person and I know the reason behind many people doing all the work they do online is to inspire others that they can achieve whatever they wish. You certainly do that for me all the time and I think it is one of the most powerful and special qualities to find in a friend - someone who inspires you to keep going, especially when times are tough.

In fact, I have found that tough times can be amazing for giving us inspiration. It is easy when everything is going “just okay” to simply settle for that and not want more out of life. However, I think sometimes when our world is shattered, it can create the perfect catalyst for real, positive change. To push ourselves BEYOND our limits. It can give us the kick we need to actually live the life we may have always dreamed about, but never quite had a good enough reason to put our all into before.

We all know that major success stories generally start with some kind of struggle. You might lose your job and it might finally allow you to start that business you always wanted. You might lose someone close to you and it might push you to be happier and feel more fulfilled inside yourself. You might lose something valuable and learn a lesson you will never forget. Maybe you lose your sight, but you refuse to let that stop you doing anything. Loss, (while extremely painful) can be the most powerful motivator of all. It forces us to change. It challenges us to overcome. It gives us the desire to try harder until we succeed.

It takes a mindset shift, just like the one you described, Lucy - from envious to inspired. This one goes from hopeless to motivated. Two ways of looking at exactly the same problems, which will ultimately produce very different results. One is self-destructive, the other is self-development.

What inspires you? When you feel down on your luck or down on yourself, what gives you that boost to achieve and get where you really want to be?

Join the conversation by using the hashtag #letterstoablindgirl and don’t forget to read Lucy’s letters at lucyedwardsofficial.com

RSVP Tuesday, Lucy! 💖

Dear Lucy,

That was such a powerful message and very relevant right now, as self-acceptance is the one thing I think we are all very much struggling to achieve. It used to be easy to feel inadequate if you were part of a minority. These days, our online world makes it easy for ANYONE to feel inadequate and isolated in a little bubble, looking out on a fame-and-fortune world to which we do not feel we belong. We have started to perceive “normal” to be a minority and now we are all striving for extraordinary.

And yet, (as you say) we have also found our comfort online, through like-minded people who are just like us. I guess it is all to do with how much we can relate to those we find.

As people without full sight, we may dream of living a life where we can drive, where we can recognise somebody from the other side of the room, where we can read books, magazines and road signs like anybody else around us. It is hard to accept that so many others have things that we do not and possibly don’t even seem to realise how lucky they are.

In 2018, as any kind of human being, we envy others for things like their huge following on social media, the YouTube videos in which they show off their millionaire mansions, the success people are having in their lives that we can only dream about.

In short, whatever we want - big or small - we all want MORE than we have.

This thought cycle can be extremely toxic to us, however, because it perpetuates the notion that we are not good enough the way we are right now.

Perhaps this is why we are finding self-acceptance so impossible as a society.

Perhaps comparison pushes us to grow, develop and keep upping our game.

As my Mum is always reminding me, “we all have some form of disability”. Our greatest disability and one of the most debilitating, of course, is when we cannot accept ourselves as enough. It is an invisible disability, but it is a dangerous one for anybody to suffer from.

It is strange to see our lives from somebody else’s perspective. Sometimes it can be very enlightening. I remember when I was 18 years old at university, after having a week of feeling pretty sorry for myself, when one of my flatmates at the time said something which has always stuck with me. A few of us were talking about life and how difficult it can be. I think I made some solemn comment on my own situation. My flatmate exhaled a soft wisp of laughter and said, “Yeah right, what do you have to be down about?” This was interesting. Where all I could see were all the bad things in my life, all he could see were the positive parts. He honestly believed I had everything going for me and it made me question my own perception.

In a world where we have so many outlets, do you think comparison is helping us or hurting us? Do you think it is detrimental to our own self-acceptance?

Join our conversation by tweeting your thoughts with the hashtag: #letterstoablindgirl

And don’t forget to check for Lucy’s reply on lucyedwardsofficial.com

RSVP Tuesday, Lucy! 💖

With love from Fern xxx

Dear Lucy,

I know exactly what you mean. While we are so often encouraged to meet and mingle with people who are similar to us, if I’m absolutely honest, the very thought of that always made me cringe when I was young. I did not want to be stereotyped or defined by the one part of myself which made me feel incredibly insecure. I did not want help making friends. In short, I guess I was a little bit stubborn. Everyone has different flaws and insecurities and they are usually things we all simply want to run away from…

This sent me sprinting in the opposite direction. Rebelling against the idea that I should primarily associate with those who are like me. Something about that held very negative connotations in my mind. It didn’t sit well with me. Maybe it made me feel I wasn’t good enough for anyone else. Maybe I was simply terrified of the idea of being segregated from the rest of society.

Is that really skeptical and cynical of me?

The one thing I can now recognise as naive about this view is that I was ironically defining other people, whilst simultaneously scorning that notion when it came to myself. I was saying in my head, “They are blindness” - but, of course, nobody is blindness; we are all just people. Perhaps my inner-demons and my all-or-nothing attitude were denying me of the very thing I needed.

What I loved most about finding you was that, more than relating to you because we share something similar on the surface, I could so strongly identify with you on an emotional level. To me, that is what friendship and understanding rely on and are really all about. It’s that sentence I used at the start of this letter, “I know exactly what you mean”.

There are some things in life we can’t change, as much as we all might wish we could sometimes. I have come to believe that the very best antidote for those parts of our lives is having somebody to take our hand, to stand by our side and to listen to our happiness and pain. It does not make the situation right, but it gives us the hope and support we need when everything feels all wrong.

Lucy, you have given me more than I can write in words and I am inspired by the power of our friendship and the strength it gives me all the time that I never knew I had.

Do you think it helps to have similarities with the people we spend our time with? Or can differences be just as useful?

Join our discussion at #letterstoablindgirl and read Lucy’s letters on lucyedwardsofficial.com

RSVP Tuesday, Lucy. 💖

With love from Fern xxx