With Love From Fern

#SilenceTheShameDay #mentalhealth #anxiety #TuesdayThoughts

#marriage #Disability #qanda #tuesdayvibes #datingtips #lovelife #blind #visuallyimpaired #Google #response #funny #couplegoals #motivation

We've all been there, right? Some gosh-darn gorgeous specimen of the human race asks you out and you're all like 😍😍😍 "Umm, hello yes please, thank you VERY much!" You are so flattered by the attention of such a beautiful prospective love interest - and they are just PERFECT. I mean, they must read books on this kinda thing, because you are TOTALLY on the same page here. They're showering you with gifts, they're taking you out to fancy dinners, they're arranging a romantic getaway for two - you must be DREAMING?! 😴💤💤💤 And then out of nowhere, your dreams turn to nightmares. They stop returning your calls. They disappear from your social media. They act as though you never existed and you wonder, "Where the hell did I go wrong?!" 😧😨😰 Here's the truth. You simply stopped running. You let them catch up with you and stand by your side, (as any healthy partner would do). The chase was gone and, no matter what you had possibly said or done, their interest was always going to vanish along with it. Remember, nobody is worth being with if it means spending your life on the run. 💕 #chase #games #lovegames #dating #datinggames #datingwithadisability #fernlulham #pursuit #inlovequotes #positivequotes #couple #relationshipcounselling #datingadvice #player #tips #trap #tuesdaymotivation #tuesdaytruths #hotandcold #ghosted #grandgesture #romantic #partner #besmart #keepgoing #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Tfx-BhfPD/?igshid=nierqnwzdam9

We've all been in that mixed-signaled, back and forth dance with someone we're into, right? One day, they can't get enough of you and the next, it seems you're not enough for them. And it drives you CRAZY - wondering what you said or what you did to cause this. Concocting plans and dreaming up schemes of how you can possibly get back in their good books. And then, to add insult to injury, feeling pretty pathetic for trying so hopelessly hard. NO, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. As human beings, we cannot deal with inconsistency. This is deep rooted in our psyche and goes back to our most basic animal instincts. Why is gambling or the lottery so addictive? Because of its unpredictability and the promise that we may come away with a reward. This is exactly the same principle within our relationships. Just as with addiction, while the highs feel like we're floating on air, the lows will always catch up with us and bring us to our knees. Just as with gambling, the only real way to win long-term in love is to simply stop rolling the dice with an inconsistent partner. 💕 #inconsistency #hotandcold #ghosting #silenttreatment #needs #selfcare #mentalhealth #relationships #coaching #communication #mindgames #relationshipadvice #wednesdaymorning #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdaymotivation #animalinstinct #psychology #understanding #empathy #boyfriend #girlfriend #datingadvice #datingtips #abuse #emotionalwellbeing #anxiety #security #consistency #stability #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B7DkeDvBDXY/?igshid=9mve9a0tpcc1

Life has taught me so much about love over the past decade. I used to think love looked like always trying to convince someone that you were good enough for them. Love meant playing games and hiding your hand; never showing your true feelings for fear that you would lose somebody's respect. Engaging in an emotionally-draining rollercoaster ride of hot and cold mixed signals. Love entailed expecting everyone to walk all over you and having to protect yourself from that. Love was acting like you couldn't care less, when really you couldn't care more. Over the past year, that has all changed for me. I have seen that love can be having someone who is sure about you, without needing any convincing. Love can look like telling someone your deepest secrets, without being terrified that they will run. Love can be gaining respect by showing your weaknesses, rather than losing it. Love can be pouring your heart out about how much someone means to you and seeing that you expressing it has meant the world to them. Of course, I can't paint love to be perfect. It can definitely mean disagreements, trouble and tears at times. But now I know that, even after an argument, real love is saying sorry, cuddling close and talking things through. For the longest time I was jaded, thinking I had to act like someone else to get anybody to stay interested in me. But experiencing honest, vulnerable, stable love like this firsthand is the most beautiful gift the past decade has given me. If you haven't stumbled upon it yet, I want you to know that it is possible and it is so worth waiting to find. 💕 #lovelife #reallove #romance #stability #secure #relationship #happiness #motivation #inspiration #wait #communicate #loveright #partner #boyfriend #girlfriend #happynewyear #newyear2020 #coaching #advice #lessons #understanding #empathy #compassion #teamwork #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B6xuynVhPlG/?igshid=rlxvc04zg36s

Amazing day hanging out with the wonderful team at BBC Radio 4 in Manchester and recording a festive fashion Christmas special. What an incredibly friendly bunch they are! Couldn't possibly leave without taking an elfie! 🧝‍♂️😍🐶💕 #bbcradio4 #bbc #radio #radio4 #listen #tunein #elfie #jingle #bells #helper #stripes #redlip #christmas #festive #fashion #fun #laughter #happiness #broadcasting #dreamjob #goodtimes #toppicks #shop #deals #highstreet #bargain #trendy #loveit #lovelife #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B6JbV2EBrAF/?igshid=1o92gxml6d9n3

Listening to the King of podcasting, Adam Buxton on our way to Manchester for my BBC Radio 4 Christmas special appearance! Riding shotgun, (George Ezra's fave place in the car) boyfriend at the wheel and Nancy chilling in the back. This is perfection! 😍💕 #dreamjob #happiness drive #shotgun #loveit #smile #adambuxton #podcast #listen #laugh #enjoy #comedy #chat #radio4 #bbcradio4 #christmas #special #festive #fashion #broadcaster #sunday #sundaynight #sundayfunday #boyfriend #mylove #guidedogs #joy #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B6GkoJMhJKL/?igshid=daaq1gkjttfs

The best time of the year for Nancy has finally rolled around again - time to open her very own advent calendar and started getting excited for Santa Paws! 🐶💚🎁 #petsathomeuk #petsathome #advent #dog #mydog #dogsofinstagram #labrador #guidedog #guidedogs #cute #golden #puppy #sweet #festive #december #calendar #adventcalendar #countdown #santa #christmas #celebrate #treat #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B5i0Hy1BUJ3/?igshid=zuopc3o1cx9w

We are often led to believe that crying is for the weak. It is portrayed as not practical, not professional and certainly not positive. When we cry as young children, we are often encouraged to "cheer up", hushed up and hurried on to the next thing. Any exhausted parent could be sympathised with for attempting to avert a crisis, of course. However, this sends a clear message to us at a very impressionable stage in our lives - that crying is BAD. We should be embarrassed or ashamed of crying. We should avoid it at all costs. It is something we should do in private, behind closed doors, possibly when all the lights are out. This is a message, (and a burden) we then carry throughout the rest of our lives. And yet crying is such an important human function. I think sometimes crying is the only thing we can do and the only thing which might help. Crying releases feel good hormones into our body and helps us to relax. It doesn't take our pain away, but it is an extremely powerful coping mechanism, if only for the fact it can make us so tired that we are forced to get some rest. I have cried for all kinds of reasons over my lifetime - at everything from a touching film to my deepest depression and some extremely dark thoughts. Here's what I believe. Crying is necessary. Crying can be incredibly positive. None of us should be ashamed to cry. 💕 #coach #coaching #cry #tears #emotion #emotional #pain #hurt #mentalhealth #anxiety #psychology #feelings #release #healthy #gift #letitgo #sensitive #caring #love #compassion #expression #communication #saturdaymotivation #bereal #beproud #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B5fGhXfhZb0/?igshid=1dour03fc023k

Maybe it's time to write a new story. 💕 #story #storyteller #mentalhealth #coach #lifecoach #coaching #red #redlip #glitter #sparkle #bold #newstory #newstart #turnthepage #exciting #freshstart #hope #smile #newday #saturdaymotivation #inspiration #happiness #confidence #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B47kXORhWP9/?igshid=1ay4lk4sijhbl

Have you ever tried to do something, failed miserably and then immediately felt worthless? Many of us hold this skewed view in our heads that our worth is somehow defined by how good or bad we are at a certain task on any given day. However, when we think about the people around us who are most valuable in our own lives, do we love them based on whether or not they are good at everything? Of course we don't! We love them for who they are as people and the beautiful, unique traits that only they can bring to our table. Most often, we love them DESPITE how hopeless they are at art or the fact that they couldn't carry a tune to save their lives. In fact, love at its best gives that person more value to us BECAUSE of those things. Without that, they wouldn't be them. We all have bad days where we can't get anything to go right, but that does not reflect on our ability to overcome these obstacles at another time and it definitely does not devalue us as people. The next time you find something difficult to do, take a moment to step back and breathe. Be kind to yourself and know that your worth has not been compromised in any way. 🥰💕 #selfworth #worth #coach #coaching #positivequotes #quotes #positivity #motivation #wednesdaywisdom #inspiration #ability #disability #overcome #value #love #kindness #thoughtful #caring #vulnerable #selfcare #psychology #mentalhealth #anxiety #depression #keepgoing #staystrong #behappy #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B4hmgwDBSaE/?igshid=j8msjqkh6xl0

We all want our name up in lights, right? Well, we thought we'd make that dream come true for my boyfriend this Halloween! 🎃💕🎉 #halloween #happyhalloween #pumpkin #carve #fame #flame #name #cosy #autumn #glow #flicker #warm #darkness #light #dream #candle #sparks #boyfriend #myboy #celebrate #appreciate #happiness #special #smile #letters #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B4XfvqGBheA/?igshid=fr1ixbztswaa

It's this gorgeous girl's Birthday today and I wouldn't be without her for the world. She reminds me to look at everything through the eager eyes of excitement and joy. To be ridiculously happy about the smallest things in life. And to greet everyone as though they were my best friend, because you just never know who might become one! 🐾🐶💕 #happybirthday #guidedogs #guidedog #labrador #nancydog #smile #happy #dogsofinstagram #happiness #3today #cutie #mygirl #mydog #bff #sweet #birthday #toys #treats #puppy #play #squeak #gorgeous #beautiful #loveyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B3coy2cB3fP/?igshid=iytouf828avx