#luciechat

hello @luciechat ! i'm your gifter this year! happy rcss! i'm so sorry for the last minute arrival of your gift. i have had a very trying month irl, but writing it has been a helpful and welcome distraction for me, even if it was very slow going. <3 the hurt/comfort goes both ways.

summary: Cassian, Jyn, and a bomb. A mission to blow up a quarry ends with injury and a conversation about importance.

rating/word count: t / 5054

She sits in front of him and crosses her arms. "I think we should blow up the munitions factory too." He blinks, bringing his thoughts back to the moment, and spends a few seconds putting it all together. "I don't disagree," he says, leaning back and crossing his own arms with an absent instinct of a mirror. He’s curious where she’s going with this, if she’s thinking like he is. "They're just going to raid the factory and take out the town the second the quarry goes up in flames. I'm assuming you told them this already too." "I did," he says. "They are worried about the civilians." "So am I," Jyn snaps. "So whether these people agree or not, I think you and I should make our own plan." Cassian finds himself smiling, faintly. "I might already have some ideas." Now it's Jyn's turn to grin. "I knew it."

Jyn + Cassian - Rogue One

sorry for taking a while to answer! this is my Old West outlaws AU which I posted the first two chapters for here. Jyn is a lone outlaw who mostly runs by herself but seeks out Cassian, an outlaw with a gang, to help her pull off a particular heist. oh, and they're exes

third chapter is finished, just needs to be edited, and I'm in the middle of writing the fourth (although I haven't in a few weeks.... been distracted by all kinds of other things)

here's an excerpt from chapter 4:

I can’t write too much should this journal ever be discovered. I told Draven not to strike a deal with him, but he was desperate. “In times of need, tough choices have to be made, son,” he'd said. I could tell by the forlorn look on his face that he wasn’t too happy about it either. There's truth to what he says, it's been rough out there lately. The law is ever-vigilant, always on our tail - most nights I sleep with my eye half-open. Three of us hanged in the last halfyear, and two left on account of it. Not sure what’s becoming of us, or how much longer it can go on.

Draven’s planning something to get back at Jabba, to get our share of the money. It won’t end well. More will die, more will leave. But if that's what he sees fit, so be it. I will stick by him until the end.

If I don’t make it —

[struck out, illegible scribbles]

Jyn, I miss you

Another story that's been stalled at 80% finished for way too long! (A common theme with my WIPs because I get mired in doubt and can't finish or post them without an external deadline or a specific person to write for.)

Baze returns to Jedha although he swore he'd never come back because he's heard about the destruction of the Temple and has to find out what happened to the Guardians:

They walked together through the morning bustle. The crowds were quieter and sparser than Baze remembered: fewer shoppers, not nearly as many pilgrims. People seemed to be avoiding the New Market—likely because of the troopers whose glaring white armour stood out everywhere Baze looked. 

Hi @luciechat !

I’m not your original RCNSS, but I volunteered to whip up a little something for you when your original SS had irl happenings that prevented them from writing it.

Your prompts honestly sounds very much like something I would like to read. As usual, this almost grew a life of its own and I hope it meets enough of your prompts to make it enjoyable. It's titled <a href=https://archiveofourown.org/works/52791835>Choice</a> and it's also on AO3.

It’s been a heck of a year and I haven’t really written anything for a long time, so I really hope you’ll like this.

Enjoy! (Summary is below; full fic below the cut.

*****

She scoffed, sipping again at her cider. “Cassian, the only reason I’m even here in the first place was because Melshi and the others broke me out of prison. You can’t seriously think I actually would have come if I had been given the choice? With who I was then? Not a chance.”

A Calm Surrender

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso Characters: Cassian Andor, Jyn Erso, Maarva (Star Wars: Andor TV), Other Rogue One Character(s), Saw Gerrera Additional Tags: Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, Cassian Andor Backstory, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Not Beta Read, Andor compliant, for now, Cassian Andor Needs a Hug, Jyn Erso Needs A Hug Summary:

A soulmate, his mamá told him once, is not a promise. Finding a person whose stars match your own isn’t a guarantee of love and happiness—it’s a map like any other, guiding you to a point that may or may not be your destination.

--------

Neither Jyn nor Cassian have much use for a soulmate but the universe has other ideas.

-

Thank you for the ask <3<3

Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

It's late, Jyn reminds herself sternly. Cassian's almost certainly asleep by now and if he's not he should be. She won't help anything by appearing unannounced at his door, interrupting what little rest he allows himself just because she wants a hug.

A gift for @luciechat for the @dailyrebelcaptain rebelcaptaintrees, who asked for Love languages. (+ General idiots in love vibe, like not getting their act together or being oblivious to the other’s feelings)

I hope you like it 😊

--------------

“Have you ever heard about love languages?”, Bodhi suddenly asks while they are working in the hangar. Well, Jyn is working, Bodhi is lounging on a crate with a datapad in his hands and the way he is engrossed in its content betrays the fact, that it is not their next mission brief he is reading.

Jyn raises her head from her current task to look at him critically. She is fluent in 6 languages and understands at least 10 enough to get by, but she’s never heard of something like a love language. Slowly she shakes her head. “No. What is that supposed to be?”

“It’s the way that people express and receive love.”

Jyn scoffs. “Sounds stupid”

“Well, according to this article it is supposed to strengthen your relationship with your partner if you know their love language.”

“Are you reading gossip magazines again?”, Jyn inquires amused.

Bodhi shrugs “It passes the time.”

“Get down here and help me instead of reading this nonsense” Jyn waves the hydrospanner in her hand at him. He laughs and hops off the crate to join her in her repair work.

After Bodhi left and she is cleaning up the last of the tools, she notices that he left his datapad.

Curiously she unlocks it. It can’t hurt to check out that article he mentioned. Purely for research, of course. She doesn’t love anyone. At least not love loves anyone, in a romantic way. Her and Cassian are … something. Colleagues, Friends, Partners, … something. Yes, sometimes she has this fluttery feeling in her stomach when he is near her, and her heart skips a beat when he touches her.

But it’s not like she loves him. He definitely doesn’t love her.

Jyn wants to put the datapad down again because this is stupid. What is she thinking?

But incidentally the article is still opened on the display. Whatever, if it’s right here she might take a look - for research. So she begins to scroll through it.

-

The next few days she cannot get the thought of love languages out of her head. She still doubts that it is a thing.  But she can’t help but watch Cassian more closely.

-

Gifts: When he comes back from his latest solo-mission and brings her a new set of vibroblades, she can’t help but wonder. Is giving gifts his love language?

Not that she is saying he loves her, but maybe…

But then she notices that he brought every one of their ragtag group their individual gift - new gloves for Bodhi’s prosthetic arm, the good kind of caf for Chirrut, new charger packs for Baze’s repeater cannon, and the expensive oil for Kay’s joints - and she discards the idea.

That’s just who Cassian is. He is a nice person and if he sees something he knows one of his friends finds pleasure in, he buys it. Because he likes to make them happy. All of them.

Somehow, the thought that she isn’t in any way special to him, leaves a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

What Jyn doesn’t know is that while, yes, Cassian has bought all these gifts when passing some time in a marketplace because they made him think of his friends, hers is special. He almost missed the ship getting home because he was busy comparing the wares of several stands to find the perfect one for her. What she doesn’t know is that he couldn’t sleep all the way back to base, fretting over the present, contemplating whether it was good enough for her.

-

Words of Affirmation: Sometimes, when they are on a mission together, or simply doing repairs, sometimes when Jyn forges scan docs faster than anyone else, Cassian will look at her and compliment her out of nowhere. It always makes her heart beat two times faster, it makes her wonder.

But then she notices how he talks to Bodhi, calmly affirming him in his flying skills. How he talks to new recruits, praising their progress. How he talks about the princess, how he admires her. And again, she quenches her foolish hope.

Jyn has always known that Cassian is much better with words than her. She also has her moments sometimes, but mostly she prefers not to say much at all.  

So, she casts the idea, that Cassian uses words as a way to express his affection, aside. He is a spy after all, words don’t mean anything to him. His uses them to manipulate people, to get them to do what he wants, to motivate them, to devastate them. He masterfully weaves lies and half-truths together, voices them in the same breath. Nothing that comes out of his mouth should be believed.

What she doesn’t know is that Cassian has sworn to himself to never ever lie to her again. So, when he tells her how amazing she is, how valuable she is to the team, he says all that from the bottom of his heart. Those are words he seldomly got to hear while growing up - his adoptive mother not one for words of affirmation - and longed to hear so desperately. And when he says they are lucky to have her on their side, what he really means is he, he is happy to be by her side.

-

Acts of Service: Jyn has learned a long time ago that actions speak louder than words. People are quick to promise all kinds of things: I’ll take care of you. I will not abandon you. I’ll protect you. They are just as quick to break these promises.

Everyone has always left her in her life. Everyone except Cassian. On most days it is too overwhelming to think about it too deeply because the implications and what ifs otherwise won’t let her sleep.

But it’s not only the grand gestures, the virtually coming back from the dead to safe her from the monster of her nightmares. It’s also the small things that count.

Maybe she expresses her love in acts of services, Jyn realizes. She wants to show the people she cares about that they are important to her. For example, by bringing Bodhi tea and a warm water bottle when he is stuck in the hangar doing repairs, by helping Baze clean their weaponry, by making sure Chirrut’s meditation space is always stocked with enough candles and incense sticks, or by distracting Organa’s infuriating protocol droid long enough to help Kay get away without interacting with him. Those things come naturally to her, and they aren’t an awful lot of trouble.  

She does go out of her way, though, to make Cassian’s life more comfortable. When he can’t keep his eyes open anymore, she writes his reports for him, even though he would never ask that of her, and she hates it with a fiery passion. She hacks into the shift plans and changes her name for his for parameter checks, since his back is still troubling him in the cold, even if that means doing two patrols in a row. She even threatened the new quartermaster and risked never getting any amenities again for an additional, thicker blanket for him.

Jyn never noticed her own behaviour before she read Bodhi’s stupid article, but now she is hyper aware of it. So yes, maybe that is her love language. Maybe she can’t deny the word love anymore.

But she knows Cassian doesn’t feel the same, because even though he often tries to make her life easier, he is treating her exactly the same as everyone else.

What she doesn’t know is that he writes her reports when she is asleep, even if it means that he needs extra caf to get through the night. He changes her shifts, so she never has to clean the tauntaun pens because she hates it and the extra blanket she got him was traded for new, proper winter gear in her size.

-

Quality time: Most of the time Jyn isn’t on a mission, stuck in meetings or is training new recruits, she spends in Cassian’s quarters.

It’s only due to practicality of course. His room is much bigger than hers, it has a private fresher and it is also slightly less freezing cold than the rest of the base. That Cassian is there as well is of course only an added bonus.

For the most part they just do their own thing, side-by-side engrossed in their own tasks. Jyn enjoys these moments, but her favourite time with Cassian is after they turn of the lights and just lie next to each other in his bunk.

This sleeping arrangement started some months ago, when they came to Hoth, and the only reason is of course to share body heat. Why else would they do it?

But it is Jyn’s favourite time of the day because in the cover of the dark it’s easier to talk about all kinds of things, to share secrets they haven’t shared with anyone else. It’s the time she gets to spend with him like this, just the two of them without the rest of the galaxy, that she enjoys so much.

But also in the daylight, outside of his quarters – she refuses to call them theirs even though they are practically their quarters by now – she spends more time with Cassian than with anyone else on base. They get their meals together, sit on their own little table in the corner of the mess hall and talk about anything and nothing at all. Cassian’s undivided attention is always on her, when she looks up from her food his eyes seem to burn her with their intensity.

But of course, this doesn’t mean anything, because they also spend a lot of time with the rest of their team. They are almost like a family now. People like to be in the company of their family members, it’s only natural. She isn’t special to him.

What Jyn doesn’t know is that Cassian could listen to her talk forever, that he could look at her and never get tired of it, that he cherishes the time with her alone as much as she does. He has started to think of their ragtag team as family as well, but he still always looks forward to their evenings together, just the two of them without anyone else.

-

Physical touch: But the most important thing that Jyn doesn’t know about Cassian - because in the grand scheme of things she has known him for less than a year - is that he actually doesn’t really like to be touched. He normally avoids it whenever possible. Particularly his feet are hyper-sensitive. He once broke his ankle and the probing and bandaging by the medical droid was almost worse than the pain from the injury itself.

But she can’t know that because ever since they met, they have been gravitating towards each other. So much so that it is seldom to see them in each other’s proximity without any part of their bodies touching in some kind of way. When they sit next to each other in a meeting their tights naturally touch, when they walk next to each other their hands brush ever so often. Their shins are in contact under the table when they sit and eat their meals together and, in the evening, when they go over mission reports, he doesn’t have a problem with putting his legs into her lap, her hands absently drawing invisible patterns on the instep of his foot.

So, physical touch is probably Cassian’s primary love language. Being touched by her feels more intimate than anything else and it’s his sight of trust that his body never shies away from her.  

But Jyn doesn’t know that, and she hasn’t noticed. Not until she read Bodhi’s gossip magazine article. And not even than does she think much of it.

-

Fortunately, their meddling friends sent Cassian the same article. And what Jyn doesn’t know is that he has been watching her as well, trying to figure out her love language.

-

When they are lying in the dark again, his body touching hers in a way that is just a little over the line of what can be considered normal for platonic friends, he finally plucks up the courage to ask her about it.

“Have you ever heard of love languages?”

Jyn’s hand stills on his skin, where she was trying to rub the hard knots out of his muscles. Has she been discovered?

“Yes, why?”, she whispers.

“I was just wondering… I mean … Leia sends me an article and … I noticed that I’m never on duty for the perimeter checks.”

“Yes”

“And you got me a new blanket … and…and my reports get mysteriously written”

“Yes” she is barely breathing now.

“I was wondering if it meant something… more?”

Jyn feels her face heat up. What point is there in denying it any longer?

It’s now or never, even if it means showing her vulnerability, plucking her heart out for him to possibly stomp on it.

“Yes” Her voice is almost inaudible, but in the small room it sounds like a bell, ringing through the silence. She quickly continues: “But it doesn’t have mean anything to if you don’t want it to... I know that you don’t feel that way about me and it’s ok. We are friends, I never would want to endanger that with …”

Her sentence is cut off by Cassian’s body embracing her in a fierce hug. His laugh tickles her neck, his hands are only a little too tight on her shoulders.

“What?” Jyn asks confused.

“What do you mean, I don’t feel that way? I was literally trying to express my love in every one of the way’s described in the article. But you didn’t notice, and you didn’t say anything, and I thought, well… that don’t want to notice, that you don’t feel the same way.”

“But you treat me exactly the same as everyone else…”

“Oh Jyn, I really don’t. You must know how special you are to me.”

Jyn is speechless because it doesn’t make any sense. But at the same time, it totally does. She doesn’t know who finds whom in the dark but when their lips touch it’s like finally coming home.

-

When they show up in the mess the next day, they walk just a little closer and their hands not only brush but are linked together tightly. For anyone else it wouldn’t be noticeable at all.

Their friends see it.