#lovember

Fear- So there are things about Izaya and Shizuo's relationship that are hard to avoid. Some things they're able to brush to the sidelines most of the time, and there are some they have to address very early on like in any relationship. A key one to start with in the mindset of a post-Ketsu canon compliant type of story in particular but honestly in any version is that there are things Shizuo does to naturally cause Izaya unease. One thing in particular that I've spoken about a lot is how Shizuo's patience would have to evolve significantly, and the process of this type of thing would not be overnight or a smooth transition. Shizuo would fuck up a lot. He yells at Izaya, and he gets destructive, and there are moments where Izaya flinches or has to be humble to him.

Humility- To his credit, Shizuo does not need a lot of pushing in regard to convincing him that a lot of the responsibility for staying on top of his emotional regulation. However, Shizuo does have to call out Izaya's naturally antagonistic traits in order to reach a proper conclusion. They are both at fault in some way and compromise has to be met by both of them doing the work. Granted, Shizuo is going to be the one doing more work because between the two of them HE is the one who has always been the least agreeable and at fault for why they can't be together in a room for longer than five minutes.

Yelling- It is something Shizuo does more of, and it is the first thing that Izaya has to point out about their working relationship where there is an overbalance. Izaya deeply dislikes being yelled at to the point where he shuts down. He can't even tell Shizuo sometimes that he is on the verge of shutting down- Shizuo has to see the consequences of some of his actions in order to finally see it.

Communication- Izaya struggles with honesty and vulnerability, which is a normal problem that most people struggle with in relationships. However, when Shizuo has genuinely hurt him with something, Izaya can't tell him that he's done so and that's a huge problem. Sometimes he'll go for days stewing over Shizuo making a comment about ulterior motives and thinking the worst of him- feeling like Shizuo doesn't really like him- and it'll all spill out in one big wave. Shizuo has to take the brunt of a lot of emotional overloads- both his own and Izaya's.

Being the Adult- With that said, Izaya does a lot of the emotional deconstruction for the both of them because he is the most logical one. He has to be the one who talks them both off the ledge because he is so difficult to comfort anyway. There's a whole other slew of problems with Izaya's self-destructive and self-deprecating tendencies anyway, but Izaya has always been good at compartmentalizing his emotions. The communication problems manifest more evidently as a result of this (because compartmentalizing isn't actually a valid coping mechanism IZAYA) since this is a relationship and one of the most important parts of this is that they stay on the same page.