#loveis...

.:.          

               Vanessa Styles was standing on his porch with her hands shoved in her pockets, looking like literal hell. In fact, if she hadn’t picked a fight with Richard immediately, he might have had a civil conversation with her, but she did pick the fight so he wasn’t civil.

               “What the hell do you want?” He demanded.

               “We need to talk.” She shifted on her feet and that made him nervous, because Vanessa was the picture of confidence even when she was rattled.

               Seth ushered her off the porch and into the driveway over by her car, away from his Uncle’s and his brother’s possible eavesdropping. “So talk.”

               “There’s no easy way for me to say this.” She bit down on her lip and covered her stomach with her hands.

               “You ain’t knocked up and if you are, it ain’t mine. I got snipped remember? I ain’t having no brats.” He folded his arms over his chest. “I got that shit tested too, I’m firing blanks. And the last time we fucked I didn’t even finish inside of you even with the condom on. I’m not stupid enough to…”

               “I stole your sperm sample.” She cut him off and explained in a rush, “My friend Sonja’s a nurse at the clinic where you had the procedure done and I remembered that you were required to give a sample before you…anyway, she had it delivered to my office.”

               He could feel roar in his ears. He’d never hit a woman before even if she threw the first punch, but the more Vanessa talked the more he was thinking about it.

               “…She was supposed to help me after hours…”

               “You knocked yourself up with my sperm?!? What the fucking fuck is wrong with you?!? Are you completely mental? Christ you railed for years about Richie being crazy, but this takes the damn cake.” He was yelling loud enough that anyone within a mile radius must have heard him. “I want no part of whatever…”

               “I’m not pregnant. I wanted to be; I wanted this for us.” She reached for his arm, but he jerked away from her. “I wanted us to be a family; build something together. But there was a mix-up.” She choked up, but at the moment he couldn’t care less.

               “What kind of mix up?” He was starting to calm down, if this was her just telling him that his potential kids wouldn’t be born, he was perfect fine with that. Some people were just too messed up to try and raise kids. Fuck his own father had been one of those people. Even his mother had just up and left one day and if it hadn’t been for Eddie taking him and Richie in…Vanessa didn’t answer, instead she started to fidget with her hands, “It ain’t a cocktail drink, Vanessa. Define mixed up.”

               “There was another girl at the clinic at the end of the night and the charts got mixed up, I didn’t even know it was your sample… and I inseminated someone else.”

               "What?“ He managed barely above a whisper. He clenched his fists at his sides and reminded himself again, that he didn’t hit women. He didn’t hit women; he wasn’t a wife-beater, even if she was his ex-wife, even if she… “Were you drunk? Are you using again?”

               “Seth, that’s not fair. It was an accident.”

               “Which fucking part was an accident?!? The part where you plotted with someone else to steal my goddamn sperm and knock yourself up or the part where you inseminated someone else?!?” What is wrong with you?”

               “Seth…”

               “No, you don’t fucking get to, Seth, me. Richie and me both did four years in prison, ‘cause you left us holding the bag! Eddie almost lost everything, because of it and I ain’t forgiving that. Get the hell off my property.”

               “This happened three weeks ago. She called me and she tested positive on a pregnancy test.” Vanessa held out a piece of paper with date, time and address on it in perfectly polished handwriting. “I’m so sorry.”

               He snatched the paper away from her. “Off my property. I’m calling a lawyer about this shit. You’re gonna wish to god, that you never met me.”

.:.

He hadn’t said anything to his Uncle or his brother when he came back into the house and for once in their respective lives, they opted to stay the fuck out of his business. He’d thrown himself under his car all night, tweaking and tinkering with the engine to try to distract himself. He’d got about an hour of sleep and when Eddie offered him coffee, he’d spiked it with whiskey before showering and hitting the road. Richie kept sending him texts, asking him if he needed help with whatever Vanessa had come around about. Every response one word to one letter: No, no, k, no, shutup, stop.

He paced by the entrance for the fourth time, he was already ten minutes late from when he was supposed to meet this woman. He’d done the math; he didn’t have a whole lot of extra cash, but he had enough to pay for her to…to deal with it. She didn’t need to go through the mess that his ex-wife had gotten her into. He was so angry, but he knew he needed to calm down. None of this was this lady’s fault: wrong place and wrong fucking time. He glanced up at woman passing by him pushing a stroller with a crying baby, and he felt lightheaded. This was not happening. He was not having a kid, but… This was right off a damn soap opera storyline; this was not how the world worked. He buttoned the top button of his shirt and straighten his tie; should at least look respectable, even if he wasn’t.

He trudged down the path, looking for the gazebo that was on the note. He got closer to it and the only person he could see was a really, young girl sitting on the bench. No… This could not be… Please God, we don’t fucking talk much, but if you could do me this solid…I swear, I won’t steal as much as a dollar for an entire year. She was looking off in the distance, soft brown hair resting on her shoulders, as she sipped from her water bottle, wind rustling her long cotton dress. She must have heard him approaching because she turned to face him and she pure girl-next-door.

He had rehearsed about hundred speeches on the way here, most of which were: calm, reassuring, not threatening and not rude. Unfortunately his mouth got away from him because the first words that he said to her were: not calm, not reassuring, could certainly be thought of as threatening and were unquestionably rude. “Jesus Fucking Christ, are you even fucking legal?”

She dropped the water bottle and jumped off the bench scrambling to her feet, grabbing an object that he identified as pepper-spray.

“Whoa! Whoa!” He put up his hands, “Don’t do that. I’m the guy you’re supposed to be meeting, I think.” The girl’s green eyes were full of uncertainty and he dug her note out of his pocket, holding it out to her. “See? This is you right?”

She kept her finger on the pepper-spray’s trigger, but leaned in a little to scan the not, then his face, before easing her grip on the self-defense device. “I don’t know your name. The doctor…Dr. Styles, she didn’t give… well, she said she couldn’t give it to me, because of confidentiality. I mean which is ridiculous considering…” She motioned to her stomach, before offering her hand to him. “I’m sorry, I’m Kate Fuller, well Kathryn actually, but everyone calls me Kate.”

Her hand was tiny, she tiny, and she was young. Why did she want to have a kid this young? And why hadn’t she done the old fashion way? He realized that he was still holding her hand and he was staring at her, probably scowling based on her reaction to him. “Sorry. I’m Seth, Seth Gecko.” He pulled his hand away and motioned back to the bench, “You wanna sit? This is kinda a lot.”

“Do you mind if we walk? I had to take the bus here; I’d love to stretch my legs.”

He nodded and she picked up her purse, slinging it over her shoulder and they started down the paved path. They walked in silence both sneaking glances at each, both trying to figure out what on earth to say. She sipped from her water bottle and stepped closer to him as a bike sped by them. He touched the small of her back for a half a second, while he switched their positions so he was closer to any oncoming people, bikers, or whatever else was in this park.

“I’ll be twenty next month.” She muttered looking down at her feet, and then up at him, “You kinda asked me if I was an adult before, and I am. I’m nineteen, but I’ll be twenty next month. I’m actually studying to be nurse; I’m in my second year for the four year program, it’s an honor’s program.”

She was apparently a little talky when she was nervous, it would have stuck him as endearing if he wasn’t trying keep himself from freaking the fuck out.

“So you were planning on carrying someone’s kid to pay for college?” He assumed, because that was the only thing he would think of that would explain why a nineteen year-old would volunteer to get knocked up in the least fun way possible.”

“What? No! I went to clinic for a pap smear and a check-up.”

“God she royally fucked up. She had to be high.” When he got done with Vanessa, she was gonna wish she’d never heard the name Gecko.

“Wait, you know Dr. Styles?”

“She’s my ex-wife and she’s soon-to-be an ex-doctor, when I’m through with suing her ass. After I get a lawyer I can have him call you. I’m sure that money would help you with your college fund.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, “You didn’t notice when she…I mean, I’m not trying to get into your business or anything, but I can’t imagine her doing that felt like a normal check-up.”

“I was so nervous about the whole thing; I just closed my eyes and put my earbuds in.” Her cheeks flushed as she admitted. “I just wanted to get on birth control…”

He barked out a laugh without meaning to and apologized, “Sorry Princess, I’m not laughing at you, really. If you knew anything about me, you’d know that I ain’t ever gonna judge someone for wanting to be safe, but still get laid. Before I got snipped, I wouldn’t cum in a woman even if I was wearing a condom. So you wantin’ to be able to have some safe fucking fun in college…”

“Oh my god! Stop!” She interrupted, five-alarm-fire blush all the way to her ears.

He thought she’d been blushing about the fact that she hadn’t been paying attention during her appointment, but based on her reaction he was guessing that he was wrong.

She massaged her temples in slow circles, taking slow breaths, “I went to the clinic to get on birth control, because I have the world’s worst cramps and I’m tired of it. I am not having f’ing fun as you so crassly put it. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

Oh god, he really stuck his foot in his mouth. He was honestly terrified of where this conversation was going because it almost sounded like, she was a virgin. Surely there was no way that an almost twenty-year-old was still a virgin, not looking like her. Fuck he was a shallow asshole. “Relationships aren’t exactly a pre-req for sex.”

“Listen, just because I’m a virgin that doesn’t make me naïve about things.” She growled, before she continued in firm, but sad voice. “I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to swap bodily fluids with reckless abandonment, and that I was probably going to wait until I was married to have sex. And now I…” Her eyes filled up with tears.

He reached out for her on instinct, he hated when women cried. He was reason too many times. “Look I’m not judging you one way or the other. I’m not trying to be a bastard or anything; this whole thing is just a lot for me to deal with.”

“A lot for you to deal with?” She scoffed, before moving away from him abruptly and started to quickstep up the path.

He grabbed her arm, before she get anymore distance between them and pulled her back closer, spinning her back to face him. “Whoa hey, slow down.”

She turned her head away and threw-up all over the walking path and…his shoes. He managed to grab her hair to keep it out of her face, thankfully. He let her finish coughing and helped her off the path to a bench. “Here sit down.” He made sure she was settled then wiped off his shoes in the grass before plopping down next to her.

“Is that how you figured out about…about it.” He hesitated.

She rinsed out her mouth and spit next to the bench in the most ladylike way she could manage, before nodding. “I don’t get sick very often, so I thought maybe the pills were bad. I went back to the clinic to ask about it and Dr. Styles gave me the pregnancy test. I just didn’t think things liked this actually happened.”

“Yeah you and me both.” He reclined against the back of the bench and glanced at Kate, really giving her a once over. She was pretty, but oh hell she was so young. He felt kinda like a lecher and given the circumstances it was just gonna be awkward around her the entire time. What was the rule here? He didn’t even figure the conversation was going to be this long or really much of anything to be honest. He expected the conversation to go as follows: I’m Seth, sorry my ex-wife is a psychotic drug addict that inadvertently knocked you up when she meant to knock herself up, here’s the money for you to take care of what you clearly didn’t want to happen, and have a nice life. He’d already made an ass out of himself and it would be nice if he could manage the rest of this conversation without making it any worse. Who the hell gets knocked up as a virgin without the actual fun part?

“So why kids?” Her voice cut into his thoughts and she mirrored his posture on the bench, looking into his eyes. He must have jumped, because she clarified, with a comforting tone. “I mean, why did you decide that you wanted to have a child now?”

“I don’t.” He answered honestly.

“Wait what? I’m so confused. If you didn’t want a child then, why…”

“I had a vasectomy when I was twenty-five, right after I got out of prison and the clinic made me give a just-in-case sample. I guess some guys change their minds; I didn’t. Vanessa decided that we were gonna start a family without asking me. So this whole thing is just a big fucking mess.”

“Oh.” She was fiddling with her hands again.

He wasn’t sure what she was ‘oh’ing about, because it could have been the ‘I don’t want kids’ thing, it could be mix-up part, and then of course he just told her that he was an ex-con, so there was that. He might as well get to it and rip the bandage off. Let her off the fucking hook. “You don’t have to.”

Kate arched her eyebrow at him, “I don’t have to what?”

He sighed heavy. Why him and why this nice girl, who never asked for any of this crap. “Have it. You don’t have to have it. It wasn’t your choice and it’s not like you planned on it. I know I sure as hell didn’t.”

She bit her lower lip and turned the little opal ring on her finger as she started nervously, “Um… I don’t think I could not have it. I mean God’s got a plan for every person and…” She trialed off, because he must have been making a hell of a face, he knew his jaw was unhinged. “What?”

“You’re a church girl?” He concluded, although it sounded like a question. Oh he did not like where this was going. How busy was that road? Playing in traffic was starting to sound like a good idea again. She couldn’t be serious. This whole thing was a mistake. You didn’t just have someone else’s child out of guilt. She didn’t even need to feel guilty. Him not having children was not going to be a loss to the world at all. Shit like this just did not happen; this was the plot of a lifetime movie, not real life.

“Preacher’s daughter, actually” Kate informed him.

“Fuck me.”

.:.

“You mind running that by me one more time?” Richie eyebrows were arched as he looked at Seth over his glasses, “You take one too many shots to the head, when you were in the yard, Brother? ‘Cause repeated head trauma can affect a person years after the fact. You’ve got to have some of this wrong.”

“I’ll tell you what he’s got wrong, he’s got his head so far up his ass that forgot to go to fuckin’ work.” Eddie was wiping his hands off on a rag. “Seth, you were supposed to be running the garage today. You can’t leave Justin in charge he’s got more rocks in his head than a quarry.” Eddie looked between his nephews and demanded, “Okay, what’s going on?”

“Seth knocked up a teenager.” Richie volunteered.

“I didn’t knock up a teenager!”

“But she is pregnant and it is yours.”

“Yes, but I didn’t touch her. Hell I never even looked at her until today.”

“Now hold the fucking phone!” Eddie pointed at Seth, “Let me get this straight, your girl’s the reincarnation of Mary of Nazareth, which makes your dumb ass Joseph. ‘Cause that’s the only way it any makes sense for her to be knocked up with your kid without you touching her.”

“She’s…not…my girl.” Seth ground his teeth together.

“That’s not really the important part of this conversation, Boy.”

“His psycho ex, Vanessa, hijacked the sperm sample that he had stored when he got snipped, knocked another girl up with said sperm, and the little Madonna is a preacher’s daughter so she’s hell-bent on having his demon-spawn citing moral reasons.” Richie explained, before looking at his slack jawed Uncle and angry brother. “What; is that not accurate? Oh yeah, I forgot the part where she needs somewhere to live, because she goes a Christian college and they aren’t going to let her stay in the dorms anymore.”

Seth reached for the bottle of whiskey in the freezer and poured three shots, drinking one immediately and refilling it. “Yeah that’s about the long and the short of it.”

“Where’s her family?” Eddie took one shot from his nephew and passed the other to Richie, who slid it back to Seth.

“In some little podunk town in rural Texas about four hours from here, she’s studying to be a nurse.” He took the offered shot and started to pour another, but Eddie stopped him.

“And do they know about this situation?” Eddie pressed, still holding the bottle hostage.

“I don’t know.”

Richie pipped in, “How don’t you know? Weren’t you with her all day? You left the house at ten and it’s almost seven.”

Seth tried to get the bottle back from his Uncle again, “I dropped her back off at her dorm about noon. I needed to think. Can I have that?”

“No.” Eddie roared. “You left her alone?!?”

“Yeah.” Seth didn’t see the problem, he needed time to think about the whole ‘I want to have your kid, even though I don’t know you from Adam’ thing. She hadn’t argued when he dropped her off, she hadn’t been crying or anything, and he gave her his cell phone number, just in case.

“Out of my house until you’ve got that girl with you, you dumbass.” Eddie pointed to the door. “And call a damn taxi, you ain’t driving after drinking. You’ve got a kid to think about.”

“Fuck me.”

.:.