#love stuff

i picture a future with you, after many years of not picturing a future at all. i want to live, so i can continue to learn new ways to love you.

How do I tell you that I miss you? That I like you just the same as before. How do I tell you that I miss your presence? Remembering laughs we shared all year round when we randomly hung out. And how such aura made everything else less chaotic. That I could have had a chance to reminisce about the past in the real life present, once again. Being around lovely people was closer than I would have imagined. How do I tell you that I regret it all? That when I took a random leap of faith, I regretted it instantly. The happiness I was so much expecting rotted into mere disgust. It is not who I am anymore. You are not who I desire. Something that still leaves me utterly confused. Because there was never ill feelings when it came to us. There was no hate. No lies. No chaos. Yet I do not wish to see you like I once used to. Maybe I grew out of that. Maybe I grew out of us. A chapter to leave in my past, to watch it die. But when I make the time, I will come visit your tombstone with a bouquet of roses and send good prayers as I begin to walk away, never to turn back around.