#lost notes

I was going through my notes and found an old fic idea / draft in them and thought why not share the screens with you, since I won’t write fanfics anytime soon.

I hope you enjoy it ☺️❤️

Mutagent #23 (Test Trial #346) Conducted by M. Park. 

Oct. 23rd 

Thirteen months and I’m no closer to an answer. It feels like she’s asking the impossible of me. Or maybe I’m just not seeing the point of a mutagent. Not when she has an empire of narcotics. It’s counterproductive: all these samples and tests. I try not to think about the money I’ve burned through from all the reagents, much less the rats who’ve the misfortune of falling into my hands. I’ve stopped giving them names. They’re never around long enough for it to matter. Should rats matter?  I don’t know… Feels like I don’t know a lot these days. Maybe I’m losing my touch. 

The rats respond well to the addition of Rain Poppy to the mixture. Seemed to ease their primordial rage induced by the Gromsblood- if only for a short time. I guess I could count that as progress. Perhaps adding a touch more will have a lasting effect? 

(♏︎🝮  ) 13℥ Gromsblood  + 14  🜹 * +  10℥🜖 +  🜄 4 ♂2 ⊛4  → ( ♈︎🝮 ♋︎ 4🝮 ♏︎ 2🝮 )26℥ Poppy Seeds +  ( ♋︎ 🝮 ♏︎ 4🝮 )14℥ Rose Madder +  8℥ Potassium   →  (♏︎🝮  )  18℥ Ragveil +  ( ♋︎ 2🝮 ) 13℥ Sea Stalk +  10℥ ☿ 

It’ll be hard to come by more Rain Poppy. Imported goods are becoming more and more sparse these days. Though, I believe doubling the dose will suffice to temper the rat’s feral impulses. Works will enough for a barbiturate, perhaps it’s work here as well.  If I’m lucky, it’ll also supplement their immune system; though luck is ever rarely on my side. Suppose I could add a touch of Golden Clover to the mix...But that’d throw off the balance of things. 

This is a decent place to start. 

Observation Entry #1 Test Trial #346: Poppy seeds give off fumes when distilled and extracted in surplus. It’s in best practice to wear a mask...I’ll have to ask Vallory for a mask once the room stops spinning. Did you know you could visualize the capillary of a sea stalk by staring at its roots? 

No. Wait. That’s the Poppy talking again. 

Observation Entry #2 Test Trial #346: Two hours is far too long to let Sea Stalks dissolve in an Epson-salt solution. The damn things have congealed on me. A single hour is too short, though. Not nearly enough time to extract the minerals from the cellulose. An hour and a half maybe? 

Observation Entry #3 Test Trial #346: Just...Fuck me. 

Observation Entry #3 Test Trial #346: Unexpected kickback. A rancid froth has boiled over the surface and calcified the entire solution. It’s absolute shit now.  The calculation is off somewhere. 

(♏︎🝮  ) 13℥ Gromsblood  + 14  🜹 * +  11℥🜖 +  🜄 4 ♂2 ⊛4  → ( ♈︎🝮 ♋︎ 4🝮 ♏︎ 2🝮 )26℥ Poppy Seeds +  ( ♋︎ 🝮 ♏︎ 4🝮 )14℥ Rose Madder +  9℥ Potassium   →  (♏︎🝮  )  18℥ Ragveil +  ( ♋︎ 2🝮 ) 13℥ Sea Stalk +  10℥ ☿

Why would you add more FUCKING POT

(♏︎🝮  ) 13℥ Gromsblood  + 14  🜹 * +  11℥🜖 +  🜄 4 ♂2 ⊛4  → ( ♈︎🝮 ♋︎ 4🝮 ♏︎ 2🝮 )26℥ Poppy Seeds +  ( ♋︎ 🝮 ♏︎ 4🝮 )14℥ Rose Madder +  8℥ Potassium   →  (♏︎🝮  )  18℥ Ragveil +  ( ♋︎ 2🝮 ) 13℥ Sea Stalk +  10℥ ☿

Get right, idiot. 

(♏︎🝮  ) 15℥ Gromsblood  + 14  🜹 * +  10℥🜖 +  🜄 4 ♂2 ⊛4  → ( ♈︎🝮 ♋︎ 4🝮 ♏︎ 2🝮 )26℥ Poppy Seeds +  ( ♋︎ 🝮 ♏︎ 4🝮 )14℥ Rose Madder +  8℥ Potassium   →  (♏︎🝮  )  18℥ Ragveil +  ( ♋︎ 2🝮 ) 13℥ Sea Stalk +  10℥ ☿

(♏︎🝮  ) 13℥ Gromsblood  + 14  🜹 * +  10℥🜖 +  🜄 4 ♂2 ⊛4  → ( ♈︎🝮 ♋︎ 4🝮 ♏︎ 2🝮 )26℥ Poppy Seeds +  ( ♋︎ 🝮 ♏︎ 4🝮 )14℥ Rose Madder +  7℥ Potassium   →  (♏︎🝮  )  18℥ Ragveil +  ( ♋︎ 2🝮 ) 13℥ Sea Stalk +  10℥ ☿

I’ll see a few likes pop up on an old post of mine and go exploring to see why and see that someone! Reblogged it! With a nice comment! AND IT DOESN’T SHOW UP ANYWHERE IN MY NOTIFICATIONS

And I’ve been scrolling my dash and I see myself tagged somewhere, and it was a tag I never got.

WHAT. THE ABSOLUTE. HECK.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HECK

Worked nightshift today, had to hurry to catch the bus and in the rush I dropped my phone and it broke.

Byproduct, maybe.

***

I think that, rather than creating image and then looking for the language—the words—implicit in each image, I will draw words, then work to image—work back, work in, rather than outward.

Find and empower the seed after the scent of flower fully bloomed arrests, reminds of secrets still unknown.

The treasure hunt in reverse.

***

Perhaps that blend of word + image that blithely declares itself visual poetry needs to vet itself. The chasm between the mereness of words that are illustrated by an image and images that are viewed, then their words read, and then the image is transformed by the words read remains the high bar of visual poetry.

I turned the page By Patricia Harris As I expected the world To be a story worth reading, When I found that I was Not enjoying the day… I turned the page. The story is going to be One that I chose to write, And if I am ready to with nothing to stop me, I turned the page.

I had a bunch of notes for fic ideas and I realized I lost some of them when I tried looking 😅

That includes the notes for Krs’s parents and notes for a two-shot I was planning

😭

Plus my computer broke so it’s hard to write