#lost loved one

Connore, you would like it uptown. Its quiet uptown.

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you we have lost a member of our family. Jordin (Jay) who played Zenobia passed away late last month. For those who didn't know she had been playing Zen for a while but due to family issues and her own illness had to take hiatuses. If you need to talk one of the admins are here to just listen or whatever you need. She is in our thoughts and her family and friends are in our prayers.

I watch myself dance circles ‘round you.

You’re a man made of clay and veins of fire and flight,

I watch you run circles ‘round me, 

As a child who watches the sunrise in awe

And worships its gleam,

“I wish to be your God.”

Here I heard a warning,

“Do not go where my eyes cannot follow.”

A grave amount of words,

Spoken in hopes of happiness,

Comes out of your soured mouth

Little breathes come to play ‘round your hands

Like little ghosts,

My angel is praying again.

The words ring loudly inside our heads.

“I wish to be a God.

Do not go where my eyes cannot follow. “

When you were a boy,

I watched you dance across my endless green plaines.

You’d sing out in devotion and joy, 

Hoping to grow tall enough to support me.

I wiped away your tears,

I’ve watched your legs become long and lean,

I’ve watched you run amock, wild in my forests of fears,

Yet it could not deter you.

Dancing across my seas, 

Terror waiting to swallow you up, you’d dream

With the push in pull of many moons,

“You are changing.

Do not go where I cannot follow.”

You’ve grown too tall for this world to contain you

The truth, as clear as day, runs free on my somber face.

Fearless fingers stretch towards the morning blue,

You capture the sun in the palms of your hands

And smile gently at me, in the gleam of my morning dew.

“There are gods who live in fear of you.

Do not go where my eyes cannot follow.”

I watch myself run towards your flickering body

My overflowing seas can no longer mezmerize,

Your all-knowing eyes.

You’ve taken the sun out of my sky.

No longer a boy, but a man 

Who will awe someone else’s life.

And in the dark, you go where I cannot follow,

So quietly I will wait for a new day,

In this endless stay.

Be free with the birds my love

by G.D.B. aka @sometimesiwriteinthedark.tumblr.com 

I miss my sister. There is an irreplaceable void in my life without her. There are things I can only talk to her about. Its been a few weeks since I’ve completely broken down at the thought of her, I think I’m due for one. 

Father in Heaven,Your Word says that “You are not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). So we come to You with confidence, knowing that Your heart is already turned toward the ones we love. Lord, we lift before You our family and friends who do not yet know You, or who have wandered far from Your ways.You see them.You love them.You know their…

I love pictures because you can always see something, compare it to something, see differences, etc.

My father passed away almost a month before I took this photo.

To me I look tired, like I was just taking a picture just because I haven't in awhile. The picture I have right before this one I remember I took after I was done crying, my dad was still alive but he had his expiration date set and was declining rapidly.

It was an unintentional photo honestly, I had zoned out.

Loss, and grief, is weird.

I've lost my Uncle and My grandmother, who were like my substitute dad & mom when they couldn't be there for me. But nothing hit me as hard as losing my dad.

I remember thinking and feeling. "What am I going to do now?" I knew what I had to do, because I had kids and I was pregnant at the time. But still. It felt like a hole was in my heart where his place used to be, and it still feels that way.

I still cry, I still can't believe he's gone. I still have things happen and I get the urge to call or text him and let him know, and the realization hits that I can't do that anymore.

He's no longer a phone call away. He's no longer just in the next room.