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gamini, Hand portrait (2016)
by the deactivated gamini
Actually, no, I don't think that friendships dropping like flies in your late 20s and early 30s because no one has time for that between overwork and family obligations and marriage and kids and partners and the ritual of the time slayer is normal and ok. No I don't think deep conversations and spontaneous adventures being replaced with a tired coffee every six months is a normal part of growing up. I don't think that emotional intimacy and soul bonds disintegrating in the face of practical inconvenience is a fact of life. I think that means something is deeply deeply wrong with our society and I will never forgive it for the friends I've lost
did you know that you're not crazy for missing someone who treated you badly? if you were in a friendship or relationship for a long time, it's perfectly normal to miss something that in routine and familiarity was comfortable.
you're not a bad person.
you're not crazy.
there's nothing wrong with you.
what you're feeling is normal.
the important part is that you keep moving forward (or rest where you are, either is a good option)
but you aren't crazy.
you aren't.
it's normal to miss something that was familiar.
My head knows the logic, but my stupid heart refuses to believe it.

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to the friends i've lost along the way.
matthias, tyler, i wish we could still know each other. i wish you hadn't had to leave. i wish i weren't still haunted by you
Sometimes I click old chats to laugh because of how cringe it is but then get depressed seeing the chat of that one old friend that I don't talk to anymore