#loonsmoons

(You know how fandoms outside the HP universe will have HP AUs ? And sort the characters into Hogwarts Houses ? This is how I think we would sort The (modern) Marauders, if we weren’t already a HP fandom :D)

James: Hufflepuff. Come on, this one is obvious. Him and all the other Golden Retriever / Himbo Characters to ever exist. That whole James Potter aka The Sun stuff ? Him being kind-hearted and loyal (to his family and friends) ? Hufflepuff.

Sirius: Gryffindor. Him and all the Badass But Kind / Popular Kid Characters. Like him leaving his abusive household ? Brave. Also there’s something about his attitude, posh without the asshole attitude (at least later on) that’s giving chivalrous.

Remus: Ravenclaw. Yes, sometimes he’s given a sort of No Fucks Given attitude, but even then he’s still depicted as smart. Like cigarette in hand or not, he’s almost always enjoying reading. And his most common characterization are Light / Dark Academia vibes for sure.

Peter: Hufflepuff. In Modern AUs there usually isn’t any crazy betrayal happening, so there’s no actual reason for him to be too brave, instead he’s more of a chill and fun guy. Plus, oftentimes James and him are childhood friends, so that would make for fun housemates ig ?

Lily: Ravenclaw. Similar to Remus, she has those Light / Dark Academia Vibes and is often portrayed as this smart and witty character. Plus, specifically in Jily Fics, it makes for great Himbo x Smart Girl Fics. Also, there’s potential for a great Remus x Lily friendship.

Mary: Gryffindor. She’s often portrayed as this very strong and independent character and has a Standing On Business kinda attitude. She’s also usually very confident, especially sexuality / gender wise which fits the vibes and is brave for sure.

Marlene: Hufflepuff. I could also see her being in Gryffindor, because she too is a very brave character in my opinion, but I think she often has a personality similar to James, so this makes more sense to me. Plus: James, Peter and her -> childhood friends and housemates !!!

Dorcas: Slytherin. She has those Cool Badass Character vibes. She knows what she wants and she gets what she wants, like she’s ambitious and clever for sure. I think she’s also usually a rather intimidating character? Plus, Hufflepuff! Marlene x Slytherin! Dorcas Fics.

Pandora: Slytherin. I think her characterization has changed from where she was a sweet / bubbly and eccentric character, to where she’s still that now, but also lowkey insane. Plus those intimidating vibes again -> Slytherin. Also, Pandalily Fics would go hard like this !

Regulus: Ravenclaw. I do think there would be a lot of Slytherin! Regulus Fics, especially for the Black Brothers Drama, but the vibes are too similar to Remus’ and Lily’s for him to not be in Ravenclaw. This would make for a fun trio and good Jegulus / Jegulily for sure.

Barty: Gryffindor. I feel like this is a wild one, like he could be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw as well, but for some reason I think he would be a Bad Boy Gryffindor, and everyone would be confused why he’s there and he’d hate it too, but idk, he sometimes has similar vibes to Sirius …

James: Freaks out. Screams for someone to get rid of it, but insists on not killing it (it is a living organism after all). “NO, PUT IT OUTSIDE, JUST PUT IT OUTSIDE! FURTHER AWAY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT WILL CRAWL RIGHT BACK IN!”

Sirius: Freaks out as well. But it gets UGLY. You know that meme of that crying woman pointing at the white cat? That’s him pointing at the spider. He also does not care if it’s a living organism, he wants to see it DEAD. “I don’t CARE if it’s more scared of me then I am of it, KILL. IT.”

Remus: Doesn’t care about them, never has. He’s kind enough to take them outside for James and Sirius with that glass and paper trick, but not before pretending to accidentally have dropped/lost it on one of their beds. Because he IS an asshole.

Peter: Used to find them scary, but from the first time on when he came into the dorm and found James and Sirius standing on their beds/desks screaming, he became the knight in shining armour and took it out (not outside, OUT). (He became a little terrified again though the first time he saw one as a rat: “This shit’s GIGANTIC!” But then again, he thought of everything as gigantic … “And- and then Remus … Jeez, he looked like a fucking giant! And Sirius- … Well you were there too, ig”)

Lily: Very much not scared. Thinks they’re fascinating actually. If she finds one outside, crawling over her picnic blanket or smth, she’ll let it crawl over her hand and curiously watch it.

Mary: Will watch it with Lily, joking about being jealous of its long legs. And then she’ll insist on letting it crawl onto her hand as well, but as soon as it does, she’s all “Nonono, take it off. TAKE IT OFF”

Marlene: Very similar to Sirius, perhaps less tears and more aggressive screaming. “KILL IT, FUCKING. KILL. IT.”

Dorcas: Just … Does not care. She’ll find one in her room and goes “Okay cool, you live here now as well, ig” Occasionally she will talk to it like: “Jeez Timmy, you better know how lucky you are … Imagine just not having to write Transfiguration essays …” (Wait, you don’t, do you? Or are you an animagus? You better not be …”)

Pandora: Loves them. Even has a pet spider she’ll force everyone to cuddle with. She’ll occasionally lose it too, and everytime some brave soul brings it back to her, she’s like an old lady with her cat: “Tsk tsk tsk Garry, where have you been again, huh?” Just leaving, not even thanking the person that brought Garry back. So they stand there, awkwardly, as Pandora moves away like: “Always exploring the neighbourhood, aren’t you, lil guy?”

Regulus: Doesn’t really mind them either. Very similar to Dorcas, but he’s a bit more fascinated by them, like Lily. He will look through several books to find out what kind it is, and just … sit there and watch it, or draw it in his sketchbook

Barty: Says he’s all chill around them, until Evan next to him clears his throat and he’s reminded of last week, when he was screaming and crying and running from a leave that fell into his lap, which to him looked like a spider

Like, who is that mysterious crush ? Who is it ?! We need to know !

There are a few people that think it could be anyone of his friends and there are some that hope that he and Barty are finally getting back together, because they were GOALS !!

But the majority of the people agree that there’s actually only two options: half of them are saying that it has to be Lily, because have you SEEN them in the back of Marlene’s live stream ?? Regulus braiding her hair ?? Lily painting his nails ?? They were looking so SOFT !

And then you got the other half of them saying that that’s ridiculous because it’s obviously James. Like have you seen THEM in that one interview ?? Giggling the entire time over some inside joke they have going on ?? Complementing each other and blushing about it ??

The media is writing whole ass articles about it, wondering which one it is: Lily or James ?

James: Fleury Sunflower from either his parents or Peter because they think he’s giving sunflower vibes (and because I like the James = sun thingy) & Fuddlewuddle Dino from Regulus because James would keep staring at it and picking it up :)

Sirius: Amuseable Moon from Remus for obvious reasons & Lallagie Unicorn from James just because Sirius is giving me loving unicorn stuff vibes (because they’re fabulous perhaps)

Remus: Little Star from Sirius for obvious reasons & Amuseable Coffee-To-Go from Regulus in a moonwater-besties kinda way (Remus took it on himself to get the Coffee-To-Go one so Regulus could get the Espresso one, because he knew Reg wouldn’t like this one)

Peter: Amuseable Rainbow from James because he’s an Ally (though it would be handed to Frank once Peter comes out as Queer and James would get him another one to celebrate) & Amuseable Pretzel from Sirius and Remus because I feel like Peter always sits/sleeps in position that look horribly uncomfortable

Lily: Gilbert The Great Blue Whale from her parents because she loves marine biology & Amuseable Daffodil she bought herself either in a Lilycissa or a “Look, it’s a flower! :D” way

Mary: Amuseable Croissant from Sirius because she loves Paris & Fabulous Fruit Strawberry she bought herself because she loves all things strawberry

Marlene: Fabulous Fruit Cherry from James because she gives cherry vibes (I cannot explain, it’s just facts) & Amuseable Cozi Avocado Fuchsia from Dorcas though she doesn’t even like avocados but she kept talking about his lil hat (Dorcas knitted her a matching one as well)

Dorcas: Fabulous Fruit Orange from Marlene so that they have matching fruit ones and because Dorcas loves that one orange poem & Fleury Daisy from Barty and Evan because she’s giving daisy vibes (again, no idea how to explain but it’s true)

Pandora: Pandora Pixie she saw and immediately loved, even more so when she found out they share a name & Crowning Croaker Pink Frog from Barty in a bartydora-besties kinda way

Regulus: Fabulous Fruit Peach that Pandora got him randomly because “it’s fabulous and fruity, just like you!” (and really just because I couldn’t not give him the peach) & Amuseable Espresso Cup from Remus for their matching set

Barty: Vivacious Vegetable Aubergine from Evan because “you like dick, haha!” & Cozy Crew Crab that he got himself because “LOOK, IT HAS A SWEATER !!”

Evan: Amuseable Hot Pink Heart from Barty because “and you like me, haha!” & Frankie Frilled-Neck Lizard from Pandora because this is very much giving Evan vibes