#lonesomeness

Oh, Angel of a dismal lonesomeness

From up above!

I hear again: my scary Angel says –

"Forget your love!

All of your dreams – so deeply sad and good –

Are now so real.

I've been your friend from early childhood

And always will.

My gaze can give you dreadful pain of waste,

Be sure in this,

But I will give you cold and heady taste

Of tender kiss.

I'm Angel, but a very cold and grim,

My faithful friend,

I'll be your sweetest and the saddest dream

Until your end.

My kiss will cure your lonely, mournful cry

And you will hear

The sounds of a forgotten lullaby.

Come here, come here!"

The darkness flows again from up above,

My Angel sees,

That all the people, that I care and love

Are enemies. 

My new solitary lifestyle may have some subconscious stoicism about it, but I often felt painfully lonely in the past even when I had people close to me. I have a feeling of contentment and comfort in enjoying my own company and absorbing brand new surroundings but also turning to my imagination and inner world.

Something I think about is the connection between solitude/isolation and “liminal” spaces. It’s a concept I took fascination with before but I think the transition from family-home-in-verdent-coastal-town to solitude-and-separation-in-the-city is pulling my interest in further. It’s often a sensation I get looking down hallways of large buildings, concrete vistas or unfinished motorway underpasses. Man-made, sometimes seemingly infinite constructs though uninhabited or void of human presence.