#lingering

no talking. just music and underglow. maybe a cigarette on the side of the road before we turn around.

but that's impossible now, isn't it.

the full moon always reminds me of you

but then again, what doesn't?

every night, i have a cigarette in your honor

i never got to tell you

how that drive to utah in the snow through the mountains

was the best day of my life

and it was so much more magic

because i spent it with you

do you remember the night i told you about the place inbetween lives?

with rainbow colored lights like fireflies in a dark forest?

and the lights are all people you've known and loved a hundred times?

and then you started crying because you remembered too?

i knew i recognized you from somewhere

i never got to tell you

how the only time in my entire life i've felt the same peace i felt there

was in a dark car on a country road with my hand on your thigh

listening to metric and imogen heap

as the trees go by

how when i want to be happy i think about you and how you made me feel

how you taught me to love the smell of rain and magnolia trees

how you taught me to return to my childhood whimsy

to a place in my heart i had locked away for a long time

because i've spent my life healing and unlearning so much

instead of living like everyone else

i think i'll miss you for the rest of my life

i wish we could just go for another drive

and run away together

but i know it'll never happen

so i'll carry you with me

you crept into my subconscious, uninvited

I didn't know you were missing

you permeate the senses

as a ghost passing through does

lingering only enough to sting