#lilliris

Centaur Kiss Lilliris

bonus points if you recognize the outfit + horse tack

ref under cut:

love to bring pain, feelings of disdain, to feel looked down on. Madam’s love for him, his love for Lawrence.

There is PANEL, AFTER PANEL AFTER PANEL.

thinking about when he runs away with Lillium, he has his first near-death experience after trusting someone he considered his friend, and he flinches when Heather tries to touch him.

How Iris considers love and acceptance to be a thing to be earned. Being needed over being loved, because love historically brings pain for him. Not only from the person he loves, but as a result of feeling the emotion at all.

but…Lillium is different. He’s refreshing, he doesn’t care to hurt Iris, give him any empty reassurances or go around in psychological circles to not say what he means. He’s blunt, honest, and understanding.

He’s a breath of fresh air, in every way. Air has learned to have no attachments, to have no physical or emotional home. Lillium is not close with anybody else in the valley, he lives pretty much on the outskirts, and rarely comes home. What’s the point? It’s just a place to sleep and eat, nothing else.

Lillium is absent, as he always has been.

before he realizes that’s not gonna cut it with Iris.

They become proper roommates. Iris wants a home, and he decides giving it shouldn’t be much trouble. But as we discover later, Lillium has his own inner conflict about this new closeness with a person. He may not be PHYSICALLY absent. But remains emotionally distant

Remember that Lillium CANNOT let himself get attached to people, because he loves HARD. He has a big heart, but the last time he had someone he cared deeply for, it was his family…and they died, leaving him with the emotional scars of it. He doesn’t know how to go about this when he doesn’t want it.

this scene strikes me every time I see it because Lillium has already (whether he’s aware or not) begun to see Iris as his family. and he’s still very much not over what happened. he doesn’t even THINK before jumping this guy.

Lillium is scared to be asked to love, but he’s scared to death of LOSING those he loves more. Even more I’d it would be his failure to protect them that gets them harmed.

He says it himself, that he has purposely been keeping distance from Iris when he gets too close to the truth, saying it’s none of his business, and they don’t matter to each other, trying to fall into “Work Companions” or “Chance Acquaintances” roles he’s had in the past, because feeling like he might actually care about someone is scary.

But Iris STILL considers Lillium the only person left in his life that he can trust.

my theory beyond the obvious?

Lillium doesn’t “care” about him. At least— not in the way Iris knows care. He isn’t bossy or fussy, he takes Iris seriously, honestly compliments him without lingering, and makes fun of him lightheartedly. Iris has never had any friendship like this, period.

but over the course of the story, Lillium re-learns what it means to have family, to have someone to protect. And his walls don’t come down as much as they’re…sent crashing down.

he begins to warm up and realize the extent of his care for Iris…it’s already there, he can’t help it, and if he’s going to love someone he is not about to lose them like his mother and sister, he’s going to do this right. He’s not going to run from his own heart anymore.

now, the real tragedy is this.

that Iris has never known care and genuine worry to be separate from manipulation and control. When Lillium tells him that he’s taking too many burdens he shouldn’t, and that it isn’t his responsibility alone, starts trying to keep him out of the action—he’s angry, he’s hurt !

because Lillium was supposed to be the one person who WOULDNT do this to him, who wouldn’t “care”

without knowing that wanting someone to let you hug them, and wanting someone to be under your control, they’re not the same.

so you see it, it makes devastatingly perfect sense for their characters that…

Well….

I present to you *drum roll* the sillies:

I love them so much 😭

Gentle touches

The art is @velinxi's from her webcomic Countdown to Countdown!