#lilacsasks

Over the 6 glorious months I’ve dated Remus Lupin we’ve had so many amazing times. Flowers, dates, promises, sweet nothings, everything anyone could ever ask for… Except for that one giant gaping hole in my understanding of my boyfriend, his disappearances.

Every month for a few days he just up and disappears. There is no other way to describe it. He doesn’t come to classes, he avoids me, and when I go to look for him his friends get all nervous and sweaty.

At first, I was just concerned, especially since he has issues with chronic pain and is always ill, that was until he began dodging all of my questions. He threw, “it’s nothing you have to worry about sweetheart”s and, “I promise everything’s alright, no worries” at me anytime I asked and quickly changed the subject.

Later, I started talking to my friends about it and I had to face the horrible truth that Remus must be cheating on me. It all added up the distance, the avoidance, and the obvious guilt that he held over the matter. But, before you can destroy and wasp nest you have to make sure the wasps are dead and gone.

——-

I sat in the Gryffindor common room awaiting the infamous Marauders’ loud arrival. I fidgeted with a quill someone had left on the side table. God, was I nervous. I had to calculate the perfect time and day to ambush the boys. A day were Remus wasn’t trailing close behind them.

My thinking was abruptly stopped as Sirius and James burst into the common room laughing about some prank they inevitably pulled on some poor first year. I uncrossed my legs slowly when I saw at least James had seen me and took a step toward them, trying my hardest to keep me composure.

“Why hello there boys.” I greeted, my voice slightly wavering.

“Hey beautiful,” Sirius replied as he swaggered over and plopped himself into one of the old crimson chairs. “What’s up?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong love?” James said, following Sirius’ lead and sitting on the loveseat. He propped his legs up on the coffee table and patted the seat next to him prompting me to sit down.

I hesitated for a moment before responding: “It’s about Remus. I have some… worries and I need for you to be totally honest. I know he’s your friend but…” I trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say.

“What do you mean?” James asked, he moved his feet off the table and leaned in closer ready to listen. Sirius was almost scowling as he blinked at me.

“Don’t tell him, but I think he’s-“ I cleared my throat, “cheating on me.”

James sat there shell shocked as Sirius blurted out, “Cheating on you?! Remus? You’re having a laugh!”

James side-eyed him and grabbed one of my hands. He gently said, “Y/n, there must be a perfectly reasonable explanation that isn’t him cheating. Remus loves you so much, I don’t think he could cheat if he tried.”

“Please I can barely imagine him being able to get it up without you!” Sirius laughed.

“Sirius!” James scolded. “Not the time!”

“If he’s not cheating, then what is he doing?” I asked sternly, pulling my hands away from James. Sirius’ and James’ faces dropped.

“We- we can’t tell you that,” Sirius’ regular playful facade had fully disappeared as he stuttered. “It’s not our place.”

“It’s not your place?” I exclaimed, standing up. Heat flushed throughout my body and my stomach turned. “Why will no one tell me a single goddamn thing?”

“Y/n, just go talk to Remus, if he’s ready he’ll tell you.” James said, reaching a hand out to me. “Just calm down, it’s all okay I promise.”

“No. Absolutely not. You don’t think I’ve asked Remus a million times? Do you know how often I’ve had to hear ‘everything’s okay’ and ‘no need to worry’ with no fucking explanation? I’m over it. The lying, the sneaking around. And having such a sweet guy lie to my face just to cover up his infidelity! I’m done.”

“Just listen,” James began but I don’t let him finish.

“And if you tell Remus about any of this I will kick your asses. If this is happening I want it to be on own terms.” As I finished my speech, I stormed out of the common room and tears began to fall when the adrenaline ran dry.

——-

James and Sirius sat in that horrible silence to shock. Finally, Sirius broke it with a sigh, “What the fuck are we gonna do?”

James sullenly replied, “Well, there’s one thing we definitely can’t do and that’s tell Remus. He’s struggling enough as it is this full moon and tomorrow it’s gonna be worse. I guess we just have to pray that Y/n waits until it’s over to say anything.”

——-

It took a full night of crying and a few shots of fire whiskey from Marlene for me to go back to the anger stage and set up a plan. I was going to get into the boys’ dorm (by bribing Lily to steal James’ key) and confront Remus there. Setting up the plan was much easier than going through with it though.

I stood in front of dorm number 7 for a few five minutes passing the brass key between my hands, resting its weight in my palms. Today, was the day I was destroying the golden layer that had settled over our relationship and I was scared to death.

I slowly slotted the key in place and turned it gently. The click sound made my ears ring.

I opened the door to see Remus sleeping in his bed. He was horrifically pale and the bags under his eyes were more like extra large suitcases. ‘His mystery illness must be acting up again.’ I had thought. I almost felt bad for what I was about to do. Even in sleep he looked to be in pain. He looked almost like a corpse as I shook his shoulder attempting to wake him up. His head moved and his corpse like appearance was impossibly more evident.

“Remus?” I said, my voice echoed across the completely silent room. His eyes snapped open and he jumped like he had just been shot.

His voice was raspy and filled with sleep. “Hello darling, what are you doing here? How did you get in?”

“The door.” I said, ignoring his first question. It was hard to stay angry when I was looking right at him. Remus was horrifyingly beautiful from his honey brown hair, his matching doe eyes, his long eyelashes, his high cheekbones, the list goes on.

“Whoa, are you alright?” He asked, reaching his hand out toward me. I ignored his offer and straightened my posture.

“No. I know that this probably isn’t the right time, but I through with this little game of yours Remus.”

“What game? Sit down darling, you look like you might faint.”

“You know perfectly well what I mean, Remus Lupin. You’re a dirty cheater and a liar. You’ve been playing me for half a year and been sleeping with other people. I’m done.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m cheating on you?” He looked angry, probably not expecting to be caught.

“Not suggesting, telling. I know that you’re cheating on me.”

“That’s absolutely ludicrous!” He exclaimed, sitting up in his bed with cough. “Where would you even get an idea like that?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little disappearances. The sneaking around, the lies, everything. I had trusted you so much, obviously that was a mistake.” I took a step toward him. My anger grew as I watched his face grow impossibly paler.

“My disappearances?” He whispered to himself. “Listen this is a big misunderstanding. I’m not cheating on you.”

“Then what do you do when you disappear at night? Why do you always dodge my questions? And why are you such a dick head about it?”

“I’m a…” he stuttered and paused, looking as though he was going to vomit, “I can’t- I can’t tell you, okay?”

“Why can’t you just fucking admit it?” I yelled, tears beginning to fall against my will. “Even if there is something else going on, it’s not helping you to not tell me! You promised to always be honest with me, now is the time, Lupin!”

“Why can’t you just take my answer? I can’t tell you or you’ll hate me more than you already do!” His voice gained volume as mine did.

“That’s looking pretty fucking impossible right now.” I screamed at him.

“So, that’s it? You make your bold assumptions and then just walk away?”

“I’m not the one walking away, you walked away a while ago. Who is it? Who has captivated you enough to do this to me?”

“No one! I haven’t cheated on you, no one could ever replace you! I love you!” He yelled as I began to walk to the door opening it slightly.

“I don’t believe that for one second because if you loved me, you would tell me the truth!” At this I slipped through the door, slamming it shut behind me.

——-

After the argument, time stopped to a screeching halt. By the time, I had felt even slightly decent enough to move out of my bed it had already been a full day. To clear my head, I decided to go on a midnight stroll.

The crisp autumn breeze stretched over me like a hug. It felt so nice to fill my lungs with its slight cold air. The crickets chirped playing a little song for the blanket of stars that stretched over the sky. You could always see so many stars at Hogwarts. They seemed brighter here than back at home. Remus had never liked the night sky, I never quite understood why.

I walked along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, not listening for any dangers I could come across. I could hear a wolf’s howl in the not so far distance but I paid it no mind. Either way, I had thought a wolf was the least of my troubles in the forest anyways.

I continued walking, not worried about anything until I heard a loud growl behind me. I whipped around to see a large shaggy brown wolf looking at me as if I was it’s next meal. I gulped down a scream and started to slowly back away. Screw me for never listening to my brother ramble about what he learned in Boy Scouts.

“Nice puppy.” I whispered, barely finding humor in what I said.

The wolf pounced at me knocking me onto the cold dirt. It scratched and bit at me as I tried to cover myself. ‘This is not how I die’ I repeated to myself over and over again. I could feel the warm blood dripping down my arm but I felt no pain. I saw nothing, I felt nothing, and all I heard was growls and scrambling before everything went black.

——-

“Is she gonna be okay, Madam Pomfrey?” A deep voice asked.

“Yes, I do believe so. She’ll be scarred, mentally and emotionally, but she’ll fine.” Responded Madam Pomfrey.

I groaned. My whole body felt like it was put through a meat grinder. I opened my eyes, almost surprised that I could see. “What happened?” I rasped, attempting to move.

“My god girl! Don’t try to move, you’ll just hurt yourself further.” Madam Pomfrey rushed over and put her hand on my forehead before rushing into her storeroom. “Just stay and heal.”

James stepped into my vision and stood next to the bed. He grabbed my hand and held it gently. “Hey love.”

I groaned, uncomfortable in my current predicament. “Hi James. Why are you here?”

“Why am I here? Are you serious Y/n? You almost died!” He exclaimed.

My eyes widened, “I did?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not really. What happened?”

“This is gonna be a lot to swallow, but it’s necessary, for you to understand what happened.” James said.

He began going into a very long explanation about how Remus is a werewolf and they’re illegal animagus and Remus is the one who attacked me because werewolves will attack anyone they come across. Once he had finished I just sat there, totally and completely dumbfounded.

“Is this a prank?” I finally ask.

Madam Promfrey walks back in handing me a cup of some sort of green liquid. She responded for James. “I’m afraid not.”

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not Y/n. How were you to know?” James said.

“I yelled at him and accused him of awful things while he was going through… that.”

“You didn’t know, it’s not your fault.”

“Oh my god and Remus will kill himself over this. He’ll think this is all his fault. Where is he?” I panicked, desperately wanting to get out of bed and run to him.

“He’s asleep in our dorm recovering, Sirius is taking care of him, but he doesn’t know yet.”

“We can’t tell him. He’ll beat himself to a pulp over it. He was scared enough of telling me imagine…” I trailed off.

“There’s no way not to tell him, look at yourself. You’ll have scars for the rest of your life.”

I looked over myself and the magically healed cuts and scratches. Some were large enough to cause massive patches of scar tissue. One bigger than my hand on my thigh. They reminded me of Remus, not because he was the one who caused them but because they look identical to the ones that cover his entire body. “Can I be the one to tell him?” I asked.

“Absolutely, that’s kind of what Sirius and I were hoping for.”

“Not until you’re mostly healed.” Madam Pomfrey added from her desk. “Go back to sleep and when you wake up in the morning, I’ll let you go.”

James squeezed my hand before letting go. “You heard the woman. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“See ya, James.” I mumbled as he left.

——-

“And one more step.” James said, arm wrapped firmly around my bandaged abdomen.

“You don’t have to hold me, James.” I said while limping slightly up the stair.

“Yeah, sure. You were out for two days and had major blood loss, but that was nothing!” He said sarcastically, bringing me to the door. The very one I had slammed, while accusing Remus of not loving me.

He opened it slowly to reveal Remus siting in a chair by the large window reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Remus looked so much more alive now than before. The paleness had subsided and his dark circles had almost completely disappeared. He looked up at us and his eyes widened.

“Y/n? What happened? Are you okay?” He exclaimed, practically jumping up from his chair and rushing to me. “Sit down.”

He and James guided me to sit on Sirius’ bed.

“Where’d Sirius run off to?” James asked.

“He wanted to get breakfast, but that doesn’t matter.” He rushed his sentence. Sitting on the bed opposite me and looking over me. “What happened?”

“I know Remus.”

“You know what?” He asked. James slid out the door quickly, barely being noticed by Remus or I.

I felt a strong rush of confidence. “That you’re a werewolf.”

He paled and blinked at me. “Where is this going?”

“I went on a midnight walk during the full moon. It was an accident, what happened.”

“I did this to you?” He stuttered. I reached over and placed a hand on his knee.

“You don’t have control over what happens during the full moon.”

“I hurt you.” It was a statement that seemed to rattle his very soul.

“I’m okay, Remus.”

“No, it’s not. I ruined our relationship purely because I was afraid of this and now look. You hate me and I’ve scarred you for life.”

“I could never ever hate you, Remus-“ he cut me off.

“Then, why did you say that when you left? ‘If you loved me, you’d tell me the truth’” Pain shot through me as he recounted my harsh words.

“You could’ve told me. I love you all the same. Werewolf or not.” I stated.

“Really?” He asked, dragging his gaze from the floor up to me. He looked like a scared puppy.

“Always.” I said, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss.

“What the fuck is going on?” Theo asks his group of friends in a rather authoritative voice. Blaise, Enzo, Mattheo, Pansy, and Draco all sat in a circle in the girls’ dorm giggling at every word that came out of one another’s mouth. This would’ve been normal had Y/n not been there clinging onto Draco’s waist like a koala.

“Just havin’ a bit of fun.” Mattheo said smoothly slipping a joint into his mouth and taking a long drag.

“Join us!” Pansy slurs with loud giggly hiccups.

Theo ignores them and walks toward Y/n as they gossip and joke. He crouches behind her and whispers in her ear, “You alright love?”

When he receives no response he gestures for Draco to move over. He removes her arms from Draco and slides her gently toward him. She just blinks at him, eyelids thick and heavy.

“God, how much did she have? This is why she doesn’t smoke.” Theo says mostly to himself.

Enzo overhears and pipes in, “She took two or three drags. I didn’t know she would react like that or I would’ve stopped her from trying it.”

“Alright, I’m gonna get her to sleep, god knows how she’ll feel later.” Theo replies, hoisting Y/n into his arm and walking toward his dorm.

Theo plops Y/n down onto his thick feather mattress. She groans, “Theo… Why did’ya take m’ here? Is too bright an’ ’m hungry an’ my mouth is dry…”

He quickly flips the light switch and turns on the old lamp that sits in the corner of the boys’ dorm. “You’re alright, Y/n, I’m gonna take care of you.” He replies, digging through the cumulative snack drawer he and his roommates had made. “Salty or sweet?”

“Sweet all the way.” She says, tiredly. He gently hands her a fruit bar and a water. Theo slides into the bed next to her and she wraps her tired body around him. “Thank you for taking care of me, Theo.”

——-

“God, another boring lesson at this boring ass school. You’d think we deserve better.” Draco commented to Mattheo and Blaise.

“You’re just upset that you have to sit with some ugly ass Gryffindor, while I sit with Pansy. She’s one beautiful piece of work.” Blaise smirked.

He pushed Draco into Mattheo, causing Mattheo to reply, "We get it, Zabini, you hookup with Parkinson when you’re both drunk out of your minds.”

“Funny for you to say Mr. Man Whore,” Blaise responded, looking Mattheo up and down with feigned disgust.

“Oh whatever, at least I’m getting some ass, unlike Malfoy here.” Mattheo said, raising his his hands in front of his chest.

Draco sped up and turned around so he was walking backward as to look at the boys. He laughed, “My sex life is none of your-“ He was quickly cut off as he ran back first into someone, bouncing off of them slightly, neither falling. “Watch where you’re going you filthy-“ he began quickly, before being cut off as he looked the girl up and down.

Lovely. That’s the only way he knew how to describe her. Her perfect hair, her beautiful eyes, the smile that never seemed to waver plastered across her stunning face, he loved everything, except for one thing. She was a Hufflepuff.

He’d remembered her, she would stand out in a crowd, her bright yellow and black robes could be seen from a mile away. He always had an odd urge to say ‘hi’ but the words were so difficult to come by. Now, that wouldn’t be so hard.

“Hey.” He said, voice squeaking slightly.

“Hi.” She replied, crouching to pick up the book she had dropped. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying much attention to walking because I had forgotten to read a chapter of this book for history of magic and I was trying to get it done but I guess that was a bad idea. But, also to be fair, you shouldn’t have been walking backwards, not that I can dictate what you do, but,” she paused taking a deep breath. “I’m rambling aren’t I?”

“A little bit, it’s alright though, love.” He chuckled, gaining confidence in her nervousness.

He could hear his friends groan and say under their breaths, “Good luck mate.” As they walked away, leaving the two alone.

“Thanks, um,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry was what I was trying to say.”

A beat of silence laid upon them as Draco thought up what to say. He wasn’t used to feeling such intense feelings for anyone, especially a Hufflepuff. “Would you like to come to a party with me this weekend? Just some friends from a few different houses getting together.”

“Oh, uhm… sure?” She giggled awkwardly. “Out of all of the things I thought you’d say my first guess was not that.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’d love to go with a beautiful girl, such as yourself on my arm.”

“Okay, well we can meet up to talk about it later? By the lake after dinner?”

“I’d love too.” He smirked.

“I have to get to class, but I’ll see you then Malfoy.” She replied, placing a hand on his bicep as she began walking away.

“See you then, pretty girl.”

He walked away himself joyfully, maybe there was a reason she felt so special to him before. Perhaps, it wasn’t so bad to have feelings for a Hufflepuff.

——-

“Alright kiddos,” My dad groans as he gets up from his spot on the couch, “I’m gonna go to bed. You can stay up a bit longer but, please, don’t cause harm to anything, okay?”

“Yeah, James, no more fires,” I quip, jokingly scowling at my older brother.

“That was one time!” James cries, obviously offended.

“I’m talking to you too, Y/n Potter, you both bring chaos into this house and I’m not looking to put out another fire at 3 in the morning,” Dad replies as he exits the room.

I turn to James and then look towards the pile of board and card games that we’ve collected over the years, “Uno?” I ask.

“Obviously,” He answers with a smirk.

---

“Oh! You bitch!” James yells as I set down a wild draw four, forcing him to add 4 more cards to his 18 others.

knock... knock... knock... A rap sounds from the front door making both of our heads turn, who could be here at this time of night?

“I’ll get it,” James sighs as he stands up. “Grab your wand in case it’s a murderer and I need backup.”

I roll my eyes at his dramatics, but grab my wand from the side table nonetheless. These days you never know who could be lurking around the corner.

In the entryway, the front door creaks, and I hear James exclaim with a strange amount of abhorrence in his tone, “What are you doing here?”

The voice that follows makes me stand up and I have to physically restrain myself from running straight toward it. I, instead, creep to the door overhearing every strained word, “I just need to see Y/n. I have to see her, please.”

I turn the corner to see Regulus Black standing on the covered porch with tear-stained cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. He looks at me and his eyes light up, like a child receiving candy. He steps forward but stops himself from going any further obviously contemplating whether or not he should step in.

“Regulus? Are you okay?” I ask, rushing over to him and grabbing his face with both hands, searching for any sign of harm. He sets his hand onto one of my own and leans his forehead against mine. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, seemingly relieved.

“I’m so sorry, I just can’t do this without you,” He says as his voice quivers.

“It’s alright, lovey,” I reply, moving the hand he isn’t holding to run my fingers through his curls. “You can always come to me and I will be there, I promise.”

I lean in and kiss his lips savoring every second of the closeness. When we separate, I move to pull him into a long hug, his body is tense but melts into mine. It may be cliche but it feels like it’s only the two of us at this moment, unfortunately, it is not. James clears his throat and inquires, “What the fuck is happening?”

I separate from Regulus and step in front of him watching James shut the front door and walk back to the living room. We follow and observe him as he drops himself onto the couch and runs a hand over his face. James utters, “Well, are either of you going to explain, or do I just have to assume?”

“Well,” I begin, nervous for James’s reaction, “Regulus and I have been- well… dating for the past year or so.”

James opens his mouth as I try to speak but immediately closes it again, he repeats the cycle until he states, “Okay. Why are you here then, Black?”

“I, uh, it got really bad at Grimmauld Place earlier,” Regulus replies, looking down towards his feet. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“Where’s Sirius?” James asks quickly, more worried about his best friend than anyone else.

“I don’t know, he didn’t come home last night, he only left behind a note that said, ‘later bitches’. They didn’t believe me when I told them I don’t know where he went,” Regulus answers grimly, I grab his hand when I notice his eyes start watering.

“Alright, don’t think we’re done talking about this, because we’re not, but I’m gonna go look for Sirius. Get him some tea or something and don’t be gross, I’ll be back soon,” James sighs and runs to the fireplace. Regulus and I observe as he grabs a handful of Floo powder and steps in. He slams the powder down and exclaims an address then immediately disappears leaving behind only ash and green flames.

I sit down on the couch with Regulus and bring him into a big bear hug, knowing he didn’t like initiating affection but needed some for the moment. He buries his face into my neck and breathes in deeply. I feel hot tears slowly drip onto my skin but I do nothing but move a hand up to his curls.

“Thank you for being here,” Regulus mumbles.

I respond, “I will always be here, my love for you is eternal.”

He leans back looking me in the eyes, “I will forever love you, Y/n. You are the stars in my galaxy.” I look into his red-rimmed, glossy eyes smiling at him. He chuckles, “If he wasn’t so worried about Sirius, James would be kicking my ass right about now.”

“I hope that he would keep the ass-kicking to a minimum,” I laugh, knowing the worst James would do is ignore me for a few hours until giving up because he got bored. “Besides I’d save you from him.”

“Would you now?” He entertains, life coming back to his features as we talk.

“Of course, I love you too much to let you be ended by, James, of all people.”

“Merlin, what are we going to do?” Regulus groans, “By the time they get here Sirius and James will have decided whether they will speak to us ever again.”

“We will do what we’ve been doing this entire time, this is none of their business,” I quip, “Besides, you’re staying here from now on whether they like it or not.”

“Really?” He questions, “Can I?”

“Of course, I’ll talk to my mom and we’ll sort it out. You will never have to go back there again,” I reply, strength filling my words.

I don’t ask what happened that night, but based on the past I can infer what he’s been through. If I can help it, I will never Regulus go through that again.

Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

Work, work, and work Sirius swore these days it’s all that he did. Back when his dream of running his own tattoo shop was nothing but that he had had no idea what it would entail.

For the past week, he had been clogged with appointments. So many people had wanted custom tattoos, so he was drawing constantly. Then, it came to actually doing the pre booked tattoos which could take hours. As well as, walk ins that paid well, but took just as much time. Even when sharing the work load with James it was hard. Remus was out on vacation meaning Sirius had to take over bookkeeping and running the business. He swore he’d never have to do math, but there he was doing basic algebra at 8 am.

In short, Sirius was absolutely swamped. He had even been sleeping (albeit only a few hours) at the shop. His overfull mind only becoming more painful in the hours away from her.

Her. His only paradise. His pretty baby. The only girl for him.

He got small tastes of Y/n throughout the day, but it didn’t satiate his desire for her. Everyday at 11:30 am, she would bring him lunch during her break at her own job. She could be doing anything else, but she wanted to spend her rest time on him. Sirius loved it so much he felt sick. Often, he would be thinking about her so much that he wouldn’t be able to eat. He was unable to stomach the sweetness that he felt he never deserved.

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

Sirius walked into the apartment on Saturday night exhausted. Y/n called out to him, “Siri? Is that you?”

He didn’t respond quietly slipping off his shoes and coat. She turned the corner, running up to him and nearly sliding on the laminate floor. She wrapped her arms around him, placing her forehead on his.

“Hey baby,” Sirius sighed. “I missed you.”

She leaned away and smiled at him. That sweet smile that made him feel like he was going to faint. “I missed you more!”

Sirius moved to brush a thumb against her lips relishing in everything about her, before his gently pulled her into a kiss. It was soft and sweet and if he didn’t know better, Sirius would suspect he was going into cardiac arrest.

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

Y/n and Sirius had met many years ago, back when he was a self-described man whore and carried way too much trauma to hold on his own.

He had been a mess. Drinking constantly, using, and not being able to hold a stable job. Despite all of his problems, she had pulled him up and out of it.

Sirius had lost yet another job the day he had started that fateful drunken binge. Maybe, it was the cheap vodka or the combination of it and the weed, but he had called her.

When she arrived at his place after a very concerning phone call, you had found him on the floor half dead. From then on she never stopped taking care of him. She never asked what really happened.

My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

Y/n and Sirius got ready for bed and laid down on their soft shared mattress for the first time in what felt like weeks.

She ran her fingers over his scarred up arms and chest. She kissed his lips, while caressing the marred skin. Sirius pulled away and kissed down her neck, nipping at all of the places he knew she liked. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her smiling under the dim lamp light.

“Fucking hell, you’re heaven.” He chuckled, saying a word between every soft peck of her neck.

“I could say the same about you, Siri.” She giggled, pulling him close to her, not planning on letting go anytime soon.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

Lying there wrapped around the love of his life, Sirius couldn’t help but smile, knowing no one and nothing could take him away from his baby.

It’s been 2 years since it happened and we still had no idea what it was. It was like one day the world collapsed, people started dying of disease, and governments started quickly crumbling. It was a disease that could spread through any kind of contact with the infected.

I had been with Remus throughout all of it. We had been living in our remote cottage when the catastrophe struck, so we were in very little danger. That was until people began fleeing cities to remote places like ours and spreading the infection everywhere. That’s when we began traveling.

——-

“I think there’s a cabin up ahead.” I said to Remus, wiping the sweat off of my forehead. Everyday we traveled miles through thick forests until we could find shelter for the day. It was hard and dangerous, but it was better than being stationary.

The logs of a cabin began to appear through the thicket. He replied, “Looks like no one’s been here in a minute. We’ve lucked out, love.”

It was a large cabin with giant windows that took up the whole of the front of the building. I whistled. “Must’ve cost a fortune, shame it’s gone to waste.”

Nature had definitely had a hay day covering the mansion of a cabin because it was covered head to toe in greenery.

“Shame for them, treasure for us.” He whispered, cutting through the foliage and leading me to the front door. “Open the door slowly, there could be something inside.”

I nodded as I grabbed the brass door knob and turned it slowly bringing it toward me.

Remus creeped in first, carrying an old hunting knife we had found awhile back. He gazed around the cabin before quickly motioning for me to follow.

We explored the cabin slowly with no issues until we went upstairs. As per usual, I opened the door, except Remus had still been looting the previous room and was not behind me like I had thought.

When the door swung open a large, human figure was right in front of me. I screamed and scrambled away from the room Remus ran over and plunged his knife deep in the chest, yet it didn’t fall.

Remus began to laugh, stepping away so I could see his victim. I looked over my assailant, it was a dress form that wore an elegant purple ball gown and has adorned with a platinum blond wig. It had the full body of a human, but it was so obviously not human. We burst into a fit of breathless giggles.

In between laughs, I gasped out, “To be fair, it’s the most realistic dress form I’ve ever seen.”

“You scared the shit out of me! What were you thinking?” He laughed.

“Hey! I wasn’t the one who stabbed it!”

He breathed, recovering from our shared laughing fit, and pulled me into a safe hug. “God, I love you.”

“I love you too. Thank you for protecting me, even if it’s just from fashion.”

——-

The train’s whistle rang out onto the platform 9 and 3/4 signaling 10 minutes before departure. Most people were meeting up on the concrete platform surrounding the train, chatting along to friends that they haven’t seen since summer break.

I knew exactly where to go as soon as I got there. Unlucky train compartment number 13 as me and my friends would always call it. A joke that stemmed from all of us ending up in the compartment and becoming quick friends.

Usually, I was the first one in our compartment, as I have a horrible compulsion to be incredibly early for absolutely everything. Though this time, I have a suspicion, is different.

Speeding my way through the narrow train hallway, I count the numbers all the way to our beautiful sanctuary of happiness.

Peering in through the window, I could see Sirius’ curly black head of hair, though it was distinctly shorter than normal. Just as I was about to enter, I backed up and watched from a distance. Sirius was staring into a metal hand mirror, stuffed in a corner with his wand pointed at this face. One by one, he cast spells on bruises and scrapes on his face and they quickly disappeared.

I slid the oak door open and looked over him. “Sirius?” I said his name softly.

He quickly dropped the mirror and his wand onto the floor. The metal and wood clashed against the hard floor, echoing a loud noise across the train. “Y/n!” He shouted in surprise. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I’m always early, it’s kind of odd for you on the other hand.” I said sliding the door to a close and sitting across from him. “Do you want to talk?”

“What did you see?” He asked, looking as though he had wanted to cry, something I had never seen from Sirius before.

“I saw you casting glamor charms on your face to cover your wounds. What happened, Sirius? Are you okay?”

At my words, he broke. The always charming, never serious, Sirius, broke down. “What if I don’t know?” He asked, voice cracking.

“It’s okay, Sirius. I promise, you’re okay.” I moved sit next to him. He softly laid his head on my chest and wrapped his long arms around my torso. I moved my hand to softly brush his curls with my fingers.

“My- uhh my parents. My mother particularly hasn’t been very happy with me- ever really.” He sobbed, sounding particularly upset saying mother. “She’s always so angry.”

“Oh Sirius,” I whispered.

“When I was younger and sometimes even now when Mother was angry at Regulus, I would do something to make her focus on me. I’ve taken so many beatings for him… yet I think he’s told her everything that I do while I’m at school. This whole summer- I- it’s been horrible. She chopped off my hair too. My beautiful hair…”

“You still have beautiful hair, short or not. As for Regulus, it’s an amazing thing what you’ve done for him. I know you have a whole hatred against him, but you still love him so much.”

“I do love him, so much.”

“You’re so strong, Sirius.” I said, stroking his cheek. “Please don’t hide this stuff from me. I care about you. A lot. You have no idea how much you mean to me and the rest of our friends.”

“Thank you for listening, Y/n. It means the world.”

“Of course, I’m always here.”

——-

It was on January 3, 1977, that Sirius Black had asked you on a date. He asked you by the Black Lake and handed you a colorful bouquet of flowers. His words were confident and he had the sweetest smile on his face. If you weren’t already helplessly swooning you would have been after his show of affection at the word ‘yes’.

This would not only be your first date with Sirius, but also your first one ever so you were nervous to no end.

Overall, you couldn’t have asked for a better first date. Sirius was romantic, gentlemanly, and obviously experienced, who could ask for more? He had planned a meal in an old classroom with a huge window that looked upon the grounds of Hogwarts. Remus Lupin and James Potter had served your food with horribly fake French accents. Fabric had been spread onto the stone floor and candles sat around you giving the entire room a romantic feel.

Sirius had his signature charming smirk on his face as you two joked and got to know each other. Silence spilled over the room as Sirius stared at you over the meal spread.

“What?” You giggled, getting nervous under his gaze.

“You’re just so beautiful,” He replies genuinely, sending a smile your way. He reached over your forgotten plates and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. You both leaned in until your lips connected. Heat spread throughout your body like wildfire, the kiss was soft yet passionate. The large grandfather clock in the corner rung loudly forcing you two to pull apart.

Sirius glanced at it and stood up, offering you his hand. “I better take up back to your dorm, it’s almost past curfew.”

He led you up to your house common room hand in hand. He stopped before it’s entrance and shoved his hands in his pockets letting go of yours.

“Well,” Sirius began, “I wish to see you again, that is, if you had fun.”

“Oh, Sirius,” You breathed out with a laugh, “I had a wonderful time! Thank you for… all of it!”

He let out an audible sigh of relief and pulled you in close for another kiss. It was quick and light, but sent electricity through both of your limbs. You pulled away first this time, leaning your foreheads against each other and the tips of your noses touching. You kept your eyes closed as you whispered, “Thank you for giving me the best first kiss I could ever ask for.”

Your eyes snap open when you feel Sirius pull away from you. His eyes had enlarged and he looked to be in shock. Though his mouth was wide open you could tell you was smiling underneath.

Anxiety rushed through you as you scrambled out the words, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything!”

He stopped for a second and pulled you in for the third kiss of the night. This time it was longer and more passionate. “I’m your first kiss?” He asked with a huge smile playing on his lips.

“Yes,” You replied, slightly smiling back at him. He brought you into yet another kiss, but this time neither of you pulled away.

It was pretty good first date…

“That is so cool!” He exclaimed and kiss you again. This time, neither of you let go as you wound your arms around his neck and his slithered around your waist.