#likeclockwork

I was hurt by you, yeah... but- I think with my mental state at the time, I.. hurt you too and was caught up in my own issues to realize. No real communication, no real boundaries... didn't even really give an explanation when we broke up-..

*Wow. Now that he's saying it out loud, he was pretty fucked up. Perhaps he still is... the least he can do is give Quin a proper explanation*

.... I broke up because I was tired of just... life and everything. I mean- my sister- my best friend was missing and the police had given up, my dad was dead and it could've been stopped, pretty much all my partners were obsessed with s-- or gone, and my mom had become a complete religious psycho 'cause she lost her golden daughter....

*... Quin can't recall the Antonio he loved talking about this. Perhaps something vaguely about his mother being awful or sister being gone, but never any specifics.*

I... really didn't think I had anyone left who actually cared about me. Which... is- yeah... I... didn't think you cared about me beyond s--...

None of that's an excuse for it, but... I... decided to just... kinda... end it-. It wasn't just you either, I like... dropped out put my mom in a home, blocked and broke up with everyone else I knew, spent the last of my money on a bit of Murder 8, got a headset and........

*He trails off. They probably get the point, but he doesn't want him to fully freak out too much, so he directs it back to the matter at hand and fully faces Quin as he confesses his faults.*

Part of why I broke up was because I wasn't happy, I'll say it now. I didn't think I was cared for, didn't feel loved, was tired of feeling alone, and we really, really didn't have a good relationship... again, wasn't all your fault.

... but another part was so you... wouldn't be around when I went through with it... and you wouldn't care anymore, if you even did a little. I.. just wanted to be an ex, I guess... so that you wouldn't care what happened to me. Then I would hopefully not hurt anyone by going.

*Starro looks down at the ground, slowly realizing just how much his mental health actually affected those around him, and not just the other way around. He was struggling immensely, but he hurt others in doing so. He wonders how many others he hurt by shutting himself away to end things.*

.... you didn't deserve any of that. I'm so sorry.

as he rambles on it slowly quiets down more and more. And its wings slowly fold down leaving it as just an abstracted crying mess on the floor. The glitchy cries sounding a bit more human than they did before.

Its not like he's entirely in the wrong, she was a pretty shitty partner and she knows that. She wanted to be more than good enough and was too blinded by what she did right that she couldn't see all the wrong that was left in its wake.

She wishes she could apologize to him, for making him go through another one of these stupid awful talks. For ending up in the same situation when just trying to avoid everything all together. She wishes she could still get to talk to him...she just wants him, even if its not the same, even if they aren't together.