#libra problems

Five and Lila in the apocalypse. Five is growing up for the second time, still in the wasteland where he grew up the first time. But this time he's not imagining love for himself (he never stopped imagining Delores, she took on her own life in his mind, but that's another story). He's not alone. Lila teases him and says silly things...but he can't help smiling at her.

(aidan five gallagher your beautiful smile lights up my dim existence my sweet luminescent boy)

He takes care of her when glass cuts her foot, she helps him shave when he's getting prickly and there's no mirror...the PEACE on his face with his eyes closed, he's so safe and comfortable with her, there is a LITERAL RAZOR BLADE in her HAND and he's not afraid of her. Do you have any idea what that means to the man who had KILL OR BE KILLED written on the walls of his mind for 50 years? He's young again and for the first time his youth feels like a blessing as much as a curse.

And the LOVE in his EYES when he lies down to sleep behind her? May the good Lord bless this young man for showing unfiltered affection. My autistic ass cannot take much more of love being hidden behind implications and inferences and Subtle Body Language.

Their KISSING. Their being together in cozy sweaters in the greenhouse, growing strawberries, catching rabbits. Five calling her love so easily and casually, because the need for love has been piling up in his heart for so goshdamn long that now he's got too much, he loves her too much.

And he found a way home to his angry bickering family but he kept it to himself for SIX MONTHS because he had peace and someone who knew him and loved him...and finally he had the guts to tell her there was a way home, hiding his guilt, his fear of her leaving...

(and she threw it all in the trash and said her love for him was just "survival" I AM SO MAD. it's not fair At All...)