Happy Birthday, Four-Eyes
OMG I'M SO LATE BUT I'M STILL ON TIME FOR HANGE'S BIRTHDAY, SO HERE IT IS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR HANGE, THE MOTHER FIGURE AND HEART OF THE SCOUTS!
At first I had another idea for the ending, but seeing Brave Order's Twitter post, it completely shifted the story. So hopefully you all enjoy it!
PS. Black Tea is Fine will be out by the weekend. I'm sorry for the delay, but I got irl things that distracted me and delayed my writing.
"-substract from recreation budget?" Nanaba suggested in a hushed voice.
"No. We're already at a low with them and I don't think we can go lower unless we want troop morals to waver. It's not up for debate." Erwin's authoritive voice answered.
Muttering and disgruntted murmurs filled the usually empty room.
"I know! We can deduct from the cleaning budget! We'll make due with what we have for a while longer. We can stretch out the soaps a bit if we add water or-"
"No one is fucking touching my cleaning supplies." Levi interrupted as he made himself known to the room. A dozen frightened eyes turning to him from his unexpected appearance.
"Ouluo! You're bleeding!" Petra shrieked as she turned to her companion, who'd bitten his tongue out of fright after having his captain catch him suggesting the budget cuts on cleaning supplies.
Instead of answering or addressing the preposterous suggestion, he turned his attention to Erwin, who was sitting at the head of the table, a bemused smile on his lips.
"What's everyone up to at this hour? Don't you all have fucking things better to do than gossip or putting my cleaning supplies on the chopping board?" He grumbled, taking a seat on an empty chair next to Mike.
Having made sure that no one had followed after the newcomer, Nanaba closed the door behind her before settling back down in her seat. "We were discussing what to do for Hange's birthday. Our budget has been slashed more than usual so we don't have much to go on. So we're wondering where we can cut some spending for a small party."
"Tch. That's stupid. Why we putting money on a measly birthday above something that can actually help the corps?" Levi grumbled, to which everyone else in the room threw wary glances across each other in silence. It was not unexpected that Levi would come to this conclusion, which was why he wasn't originally invited to the conversation in the first place. It'd been two years since he'd joined the corps, and a year since Erwin had been elected as the new commander. Despite having been forced to work closely alongside the bespectacled brunette, he had made his distaste towards his fellow comrade quite obvious since the start. Despite Hange's many attempts at becoming close to him or getting to know him, he always brushed her off and complained about her annoying presence.
"Well... Hange's been putting more effort than most into trying to find a way to defeat the titans. Whether it's on field or off doing research, she's been tirelessly trying to find an answer for us. We just thought it'd be nice to show her some appreciation for what she's done so far." Erwin said carefully.
Rolling his eyes, Levi scoffed. "All that effort to simply throw our men to their graves. All her bullshit about titans have caused our men to die for nothing. We haven't gotten anything out of her shitty obsession other than making headquarters stink of decay and unidentified corps."
A heavy silence fell over the room at his words. While it wasn't entirely wrong that Hange's overly enthusiastic views towards titans had caused some deaths along the way, it wasn't as if Hange wanted that outcome either.
"You're wrong, sir. Section leader Hange Zoe is very much self aware of the dangers and consequences of her actions. She plans out everything thoroughly and is by far the most caring person I've met. The time she puts into her revisions and plans is beyond anything we've done outside the walls, and if there's a reason we might win against the titans, it's because of section commander Hange Zoe." A young man said, standing out of his seat. His face red in embarrassment over the attention, but his eyes piercingly dark as he spoke of his team leader.
"Moblit... please calm down..." A young girl with red hair pleaded from his right, gently pulling at his sleeve to come back down next to her. But he refused, continuing to stare down at Levi.
"And you might be the new second in command in the Hange team?" Levi guessed. "You know her last one lost his life after she went chasing after a titan instead of following protocol like she should've, right? If you're willing to blindly follow that shit-head then maybe you deserve his same fate."
"Levi, that's enough." Erwin's voice boomed, his face one of displeasure. "We're here to celebrate Hange, and whether you personally like her or not, it doesn't stop the fact that everyone else in this room feels like they want to do something nice for her. A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. And we all here are thankful that Hange is still with us, helping humanity out for the most part. So if you don't want to be part of it, or have nothing nice to say about it, then I have to ask you to please leave the room immediately."
With a tch, the man got up and left the room.
The aftermath and loss of that day's expedition was probably the worst one Levi's experienced. Only a third of the troops that set out made it back, with most of the survivors being badly injured and/or missing limbs that probably meant they'd no longer be able to serve the corps. No one talked, no one looked at each other, and no one dared to look behind them. To where they'd left their fallen friends and soldiers, their lifeless bodies unable to be retrieved. Even the commander fell silent as he led them through the silent crowd.
That evening the castle was silent. And even the dining hall usually full of life and laughter was void of activity. And Levi, out of habit, decided he was better off cleaning the halls to distract himself from thoughts on the heavy loss they went through.
He was just on the landing of the west side of the third floor when a horrendous stench composed of something like a mixture of decay and dried blood seeped through the walls. Pulling the cloth tighter around his nose, he followed the smell until he was standing in front of a door. A particular door he tried his best in avoiding on purpose.
"Oi, Shitty-glasses." He barged into the room, not giving the resident even a heads up about his intrusion. "Why the fuck is your room stinking up the fucking place?"
But instead of the hyper and loud version of the fourth section leader he expected to come into, he was met with complete silence. Her messy ponytail facing him unmoving as she continued staring at something in front of her. Her silence and lack of enthusiasm so unnatural it starting causing Levi to worry about whether she was alive or not.
"Am I a bad person, Levi?" She finally asked. Her tone hushed and void of streght.
"Huh? What bullshit did you fall upon this time?" Levi grumbled, throwing a disgruntled look at the mess of papers on the floor beneath him. It started to seem like his plans on just cleaning the interior halls would no longer be the case.
Just as he started picking up some of the discarded paper, Hange spoke up again. "Did I lead everyone to their deaths? Erwin entrusted me with planning out today's expedition and... Maybe you're right... maybe my experiments are useless... Maybe that's why Erwin always disapproves of them despite being nice to me about it. But I kept pushing and pushing to capture a titan and do some experiments on them... I deviated from the plan... and I... all those innocent lives...." She fell silent. And if he strained his hearing enough, he was sure he could hear her silently sniffling.
Levi carefully threw a look towards the brunette, unsure of how to respond to her sudden emotional outburst. Despite his distaste towards her, it seemed the expedition did a number on her too. And the guilt she seemed to be feeling seemed like something he couldn't ignore. "Erwin trusts you." Was all he said.
A snort met his words. "Hah! Wrong judgement on that... I know everyone questions my methods, I know the way people talk behind my back about me. But I never paid mind, thinking I would prove them wrong someday. I thought Erwin would come to see my brilliance one day too. But I think instead I just proved how wrong I was all along. And maybe... maybe you were the only one who saw through all of that. You were always the one to advise Erwin and everyone against my ideas... I was stupid... If only I'd listened to you."
He stayed silent. A strange feeling of shame filling him from hearing the brunette's confession. Sure, he'd brashly spoken multiple times about how bad her ideas seemed to be. And he had indeed badmouthed her for being a lose canon ready to explode and destroy everything in her path just for the sake of needing to quench her curiousity. But he wasn't aware his words had hurt her in any way before.
The usual vibrant individual that had a hard time staying still and silent for longer than two seconds was suddenly the complete opposite. And it was throwing him off. It made him feel guilty somehow.
"You stink. Clearly you haven't washed since our expedition. Go take a bath." Levi responded in the only way he knew how to answer. "I'll set up the tub for you."
Hange stayed silent, eyes still downcast to whatever had been occupying her attention the whole time he'd been there.
When Levi came back, he was surprised at seeing the woman slouching over the table. Seemingly worn out from the day's events she had finally succumbed to her fatigue.
"Tch... fucking Four-Eyes..." He grumbled. But seeing as there was no other way around it, he took his jacket off, carefully placing it on the bed so it wouldn't get soiled before going around and picking the sleeping form up. Hange whimpered a few times, but otherwise didn't stir much. As he carried her to the tub, he couldn't help but take a peek at her face. And his heart stopped for a moment when he came to notice the trail of tears that made their way down her cheek. In his state of shock, not having paid mind to his surroundings, he ended up knocking a bottle of ink down, covering her desk in black.
"Shit." He swore, snapping out of his stupor as he continued carrying Hange towards the bathtub.
"Oi, Shitty-glasses. You going to undress yourself or you're going to make me do it?" But her lack of response combined with the silent tear still hanging on her lash was enough for an answer. Carefully and with the most respect, he stripped her off her clothes, peeling each soiled layer one by one until she was completely bare in the tub of warm water. Having thoroughly washed her hair and face, slowly her eyes fluttered open as he started scrubbing at her legs. A surprised look on her face as she noted the state they were in.
"Ah, you're up. Continue scrubbing yourself. I got to clean the mess you created." He grumbled as he handed her the sponge. "And make sure to scrub well. I will throw you back in if I see as much as a speck of dirt on you."
Closing the door behind him, Levi let out a tired sigh. Why was he suddenly feeling sympathy towards her? She knew what she got them all into. She understood her nonsense brought death to their comrades which she never seemed to show a care or remorse towards. So why did he suddenly feel like he was in the wrong? That he had this need to care for her? Shaking his head, he went onto cleaning the ink off the table. Luckily the pot seemed to have been almost empty, so except for a few splotches here and there, everything seemed to be clear of ink. Moving a few of the clutter away, his gaze suddenly landed on an open book. Curiousity getting the best of him, he let his eyes wander through the lines of writing, only to feel his face contorting into one of confusion.
Anabelle Haste, 21. Killed trying to save Lauren Bell, 19, who died by being eaten by a ten feet titan.
Edward Crown, 18, Ethan Bret, 18, Emma Krist, 16, all killed together by being caught off guard at the rear of formation.
Thomas Heist, 17, Morgan Heist, 17, twins. Both died together trying to help carry the corpse of their older brother Peter, 18, back.
The names of their past comrades and their deaths continued flowing throughout the whole book. Each line detailing their ages and the people they were closest to. Followed by where they lived and small trinkets Hange had been able to scrape from their personal belongings if possible.
And then his heart dropped as he went back to the beginning of the book. The first two names imprinted on the page being of his two best friends.
Isabel Magnolia, 17. Died alongside Furlan Church, 18, during their first expedition outside the walls. Both were from the Underground, but were very promising in their abilities using the ODM gear. Isabel loved the yellow dandelions we had growing around the pond near HQ, this one was found in one of the books she was reading. Furlan dreamt of owning a tea shop with his best friend Levi. I found this coin on his desk.
Feeling his eyes sting from unshed tears he hadn't realized were forming until then, he quickly wiped them away as he heard the door open behind him.
"Thanks for the bath, I didn't realize how much I needed it unti-" Hange stopped as she came into view of Levi holding her familiar book in his hands.
"What the fuck is this, Shitty-glasses?" Levi questioned, pointing to the leather bound book. His face contorting to one of anger and confusion.
Seeing as there was no way out of it, Hange sighed, flopping onto her bed in defeat. "Where I keep names of our fallen comrades."
"I can fucking see that much. But why do you have it?"
"Because... It's sad just forgetting them. They all had dreams before them but gave up their lives for our cause. We all dedicated our lives to fight off the titans, and letting their memories go as if each of them were disposable is not something that I can bring myself to do."
Levi stared at the woman. "And you wrote down each of their names?"
Slowly Hange nodded. "Yes... I try tracking down those close to them, try to figure out their age and how they died. We can't afford to send each of them off in a lavish manner, but at least keeping their name and sacrifice alive is something doable on paper. I'm hoping someday when we can all defeat the titans, we can use this record to build a proper memorial for all our comrades."
Silence fell over them as Levi continued staring at Hange's deflated figure.
"I... I was doing the same for the comrades that we lost today but... There's so many of them, Levi. So many lost and so many I can't name or put something personal about them because they all died along their friends. There's no one to retell their story, or nothing to showcase what they loved or even that they existed. I'm just... so tired. And to think this is all because of me and my decision to go after some stupid tit-"
"It's not your fault." Levi interjected. His voice ringing against the silence of the night. "They flanked us. We weren't aware they had huddled near the east side because some meddlesome treasure seekers sneaked out to get some valuable off the corps of our comrades... None of today's loss were because of you. So don't take blame over something other fucktards did, Shitty-glasses. Our comrades died on their conscience, not yours."
At his words, Hange's eyes widened. Her brown eyes staring right at him as her mouth hung agape.
"Fucking close your mouth, you look like a fucking fish." Levi threw at her, turning to the book at hand to avoid her piercing gaze. A few minutes of silence passed as Levi continued flipping through the pages, small recollections of certain comrades coming to mind after glossing over their names.
"Chase Piercer, 21. He died after hearing the cries of the treasure seekers. He was the first at the scene and flared us to get help. He died along with Nathan Feekle, his boyfriend, 20." Levi said, opening the book to the most recent page, where half the slots were empty. Confusion clouded Hange's brown orbs as she glanced up at him, not sure what he was getting to. It wasn't until Levi took the ink pot and a feather pen to her that she realized what he'd meant. Excitement and curiosity flared in her chest at the information her companion had just given her, a newborn sense of purpose filling her once again.
Having watched the woman scribble down their names in her most neat handwriting, he pulled out something from out of his jacket pocket. "And these... these were their wings of freedom. They each have their names at the back of them. Add them next to their names."
And with a brilliant smile, Hange threw herself at Levi, enveloping him in the warmest embrace he'd ever gotten. "Thank you, Levi... Thank you so much."
A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. Erwin's words rung back at him.
"Happy birthday, Hange!" The room exploded with activity as the brunette entered the once darkened commander's office. Candlelight immediately illuminating the table full of delicacies usually unattainable with their budget, while her friends and closest companions threw themselves at her.
"What is all this?! When did you all get the time for this?" Hange laughed as she spotted what could only be Moblit's drawing of Hange smiling next to a titan on the wall behind Erwin.
"We thought you needed a little break. As well as a thank you from all of us for the efforts you've put into helping us defeat the giants. No one does it like you, Hans." Nanaba said, wrapping her best friend in a tight hug.
"Right. We also needed an excuse to get something more palatable than charred carrots." Mike commented, earning a slap on the head from Erwin.
Throwing her head back in laugher, Hange smiled. "I appreciate all of this... Thank you. I too have grown tired of charred carrots. That's probably why i don't have much of an appetite lately."
"Tch... that's probably also why your eyesight is so shitty, Four-Eyes." An unexpected voice commented, causing her to swiftly turn to the corner of the room, where Levi stood in solitary, avoiding the center stage of the celebration.
"Levi! You're here too!" She cheered happily, quickly letting go of the blonde as she made her way to the unexpected guest.
"You're the last person I'd expect to be at my birthday celebration." Hange teased, to which Levi rolled his eyes at.
"I was forced to attend. Besides, I need to keep an eye out and make sure you guys don't get the place too dirty." Hange let out a snort. "Of course, that's the reason." She said with a peek of her tongue at him. But they didn't get to talk much more as Nifa immediately grabbed onto her section leader's hand, leading her to the desserts which she and Petra had spent all night making.
"Petra decorated this one so prettily! I tried to do it too, but seems I'm only good at baking, so I left the decorating to her."
The rest of the evening went by without a hitch. Funny stories being told, with the members becoming more and more lively as the night went on from the alcohol consumed. Even Levi, who usually detested and flat out refused to drink anything other than tea, decided to join in for the night.
"I'm just sorry we couldn't get you anything nice, Hans. We tried scrapping up some money but could only really afford to get you a few nice stationary." Nanaba lamented as Hange opened her gift.
Hange shook her head, smiling from ear to ear. "No, I'm already thankful enough having you all here with me. I love it, thank you."
But Erwin interrupted, gently coughing to get everyone's attention. "Actually, I think we all missed a present. There's one under the table we all seemed to have glossed over."
Confusion engulfed the room as everyone exchanged confused glances with each other. Although the brunette's excitement blinded her to the mayhem behind her, causing her not to notice her companions' confusion.
The gift was neatly wrapped, perfectly pressed with nothing out of line in a bright yellow colour. As Hange opened it in anticipation, a particular individual watched her closely in silence. His heart beating out of his chest as he watched the birthday girl's expression.
Hange's eyes narrowed as her brows furrowed in confusion. Her silence causing everyone in the room to fall into expectant anticipation as well. "I... I don't know what to say." She whispered just above a whisper.
And for a second, Levi's heart dropped. Did she not like the gift? Did he guess wrong? Had he ruined the mood? It was his first time gifting someone, and he didn't know whether he'd done the right thing or not.
But his doubts were quickly eased when Hange's excited shout filled the room.
"A MICROSCOPE! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS GET A MICROSCOPE FROM?! IMAGINE ALL THE TESTING I CAN DO WITH THIS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" She shouted in glee, hugging the metal contraption to her chest.
While the others looked on in confusion, Erwin threw a knowing smile to Levi. Causing his face to pink from embarrassment. "Shut it. Unless you want the rest of the night to go to waste." He grumbled. And luckily for him, the older man didn't test him as he chuckled and headed back to join his friends.
The night winded down later than expected. And by that time, half their friends had already passed out, while the other were dealing with a terrible hangover. Hange told everyone she would stay behind and clean up, and Levi being Levi, was already going to do so, so they both ended up cleaning up the mess.
For the most part they were silent, focusing on their tidying duties as the aftermath of the party started leaving their systems. Until...
A wet substance of mass hit him on the face. His surprise only lasted a second as Hange's laugher followed. "Your face! I've never seen you so defenseless before!"
"Oi... you're really asking for it now." Levi grunted as he started chasing the brunette around the room, a broom in one hand, the other with a rag. By the time Levi chased her down, it was already daybreak. Tired and out of breath, the two laid on their backs to the wooden floor as they stared up at the ceiling above them.
"Thank you, Levi." She softly spoke up after an elongated silence.
"Huh? What for? Chasing you around with a rag?"
A snort followed his words. "No... For celebrating with me. For giving me the names of those missing soldiers. For comforting me when I felt lost. For being my friend... and for the microscope." She said.
He froze, unsure of how to answer.
Sensing his predicament, she slowly turned on her side so she was looking at him. "Don't deny it. You're the only one that would actually go out of your way to get me one. You're the one who's always getting sponsorships and gifts from the public... it's not out of the realm of possibility for you to reach out to someone to make one."
Throwing a glance at the woman next to him, he sighed. closing his eyes. "Fine. It was me. But it's so that you owe me from now on." He answered. And as expected, Hange giggled at his response.
"I already owe you a lot. Just add it to the list of favours you can get out of me for the next ten years."
This time, Levi turned fully to her, his eyes catching her curious brown ones. "It's not just me you're helping with the microscope, Four-eyes. You're using it to help everyone as you study titans and their origins. Thanks to your experiments, we can become stronger. I will ask for your continued support." He said.
With a smile, Hange nodded. "To defeat the titans... let's work together to get rid of them."
And at seeing the bright morning light illuminated in her irises, he couldn't help but smile as well. "I'll hold you to that. Happy birthday, Four-Eyes."
