#leviackermankin

So I'm just going to talk about the canons in which I was queer, because being like "Character name : cis straight" is not really relevant here ahah.

Levi Ackerman (Attack On Titan) : I see people shipping me with so many people from my canon, people I barely even knew sometimes, so it's...ironic in a way, but I personally am aroace. Or, well, you get it. There was not a name for it back then and frankly no one really gave a shit. The only thing relevant was that "Captain Levi doesn't date nor fuck" and that was it.

Ellana Caldin (Ellana, Ewilan's Quest) : Even if I married a man, I am not attracted to any particular gender. If you are well versed in the philosophy of Shadowalkers, you are aware that we know that love doesn't stop at something as futile as gender or genitalia. I could have fallen for a woman just like a man, but the Path led me to Edwin. However considering this world's labels, I might be demiromantic/demisexual as well as pansexual ? But again, it is also because of the view I have on love and relationships.

Jayfeather (Warriors Cats) : I only ever loved one cat, and it was a tom. Flametail was the most amazing cat I knew, and one of the most annoying ones, too. I can't say I was gay for sure cause...you know, never loved anyone else. Nor have I been even remotely attracted to anyone else.

Nathan Swift / Kazemaru Ichirota (Inazuma Eleven) : So I know there is something going on with my gender, like I'm definitely not cis. I'm not a trans girl either ? I never really questioned it before, didn't really care for it nor had the time to. I just knew that I liked looking feminine without feeling like a girl, but being a boy sounds weird too most of the time. So probably something under the non-binary umbrella ? Or like genderfaun, something like that. Also I was never attracted to girls ! Yeah they're pretty but they can be pretty far away from me ahah. However I might be gay ? I know I've already thought a few of my mates are pretty and I wouldn't mind kissing some boys, so probably.

#⚔️🪽🌲

I am looking for Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe, and Mike Zacharias. I would not be opposed to anyone else contacting me, though.

I am around 30 in headspace , however bodily we are in our 20s. Minors please do not interact with us because of this.

Please ‘like” or ‘reblog’ and we will reach out.

I came across the term of “fictionkin” again just a few days after finishing the show, and it was like I was getting punched in the stomach.

It all suddenly made sense, and yet it felt like I was drowning in something that was way bigger than me. I tried to convince myself that I was imagining it, that I was just trying to invent that so I could feel closer to the show, that it was just an effect of a temporary obsession and that it would wear off soon.

And the “obsession” did wear off after a few weeks. But the feelings didn’t. I was going through one of the biggest (and longest) identity crisis I’ve ever experienced, and I truly didn’t know how to deal with it.

I was (and still am) conflicted, scared that I was faking it, scared that I just wanted to be like this character because it’s a “cool” and “popular” character. But I actually didn’t want it. And around whom would I be faking it, if I was too ashamed of myself to even say it anonymously online ? I was even scared to write it down at all, because it just felt..too real. Even after hours of research, it felt scary to face the obvious.

I’m still feeling really weird about all this, about finding out about an entirely new identity that yet is also MINE, but…I hope I can overcome this.

Anyway, it feels odd to actually say it but hi, I’m Levi Ackerman, from the hit (and apparently controversial, according to some) manga Attack On Titan.

I thought I was slowly turning insane without the structure and activity I got used to in the army. Weird to think that when I used to value my liberty and independence so much, yet it feels somehow right to regret my time as captain Levi more than the years before that. At least there I had a purpose, as futile as it turned out to be in the end.

Yet, as I got my first free weekend in weeks, I felt like I could finally breathe. After barely seeing the sky and breathing real oxygen, I felt the wind on my skin, smelled fresh air, and it almost hurt how for a few seconds it felt like I was back in the Survey Corps. I felt like myself for the first time in what felt like so long, and I almost forgot I wasn’t home, I wasn’t myself anymore.

It’s bittersweet. As much as my life back then could almost be called hell on earth, I was me. I had an illusion of freedom I clung to like I needed it to breathe. It felt so real, it was so real to me, and this world is just like a bad dream I will soon wake up from.

It hurts that it only took a day without my insane student schedule to bring these thoughts back to the front of my head. They were always there, in the back, but I pushed them down as I couldn’t afford to get distracted from my studies by such melancholic remembrance. But the moment I finally could sleep for a full night, the moment I could stop and breathe and look at the nature around me, the thoughts and memories came back full force to hit right where it hurts.

The most important religion I can think of is the Church of the Walls. It wasn’t really big nor influential when I was young, just some fanatics that worshipping a few rocks in my opinion, but after Wall Maria fell, it grew into an actually known organization.

They worshipped the Walls, and reunited more and more people to pray the Walls to let them live safe and in peace, or whatever else they asked for.

They were a real pain in the ass though, thinking that their precious rocks were sacred and trying to stop the Survey Corps, or any OMD gear user really, from using their equipment on the Walls, because “they shouldn’t be soiled or damaged by vile mortal means”.

However in the Underground, there wasn’t such things as religions. People couldn’t afford to care about anything else than their survival, let alone wonder about beliefs of something higher and holier. Praying wouldn’t bring food to the table, or guarantee that you’ll survive the next day.

• Levi Ackerman (Attack On Titan), #⚔️🪽🌲

I don’t know why that random kid just awfully reminded me of some of my soldiers, who were so young and yet already broken by our enemies. He didn’t look like any of them, yet it was as if I was back then, trying to make sure the cadets I was in charge of didn’t die, while failing miserably.

At least I know that this child won’t ever have to experience the horrors I saw back then.

• Levi Ackerman (Attack On Titan), #⚔️🪽🌲