Local fictionkin

Pronouns : he/it (I don't mind they/them)

Age : 19 yo

Sexuality : Pan, demiromantic, asexual

Identity stuff : fictionkin/otherkin/therian.

I will mostly only talk about my fictionkin identities on this sideblog.

Main : @wild-kindentities

✦ ﾟ✧ ⋆ . ⊹ ݁ ⟡ ݁ ⊹ . ⋆ ✧ ﾟ✦

Cause irl I’ll be like “Eheh I’m Xingqiu irl !” because I relate to him on so many different levels and have very similar personality and experiences as him, but I don’t kin him, I’m actually Wanderer.

It’s not that hard to acknowledge that people won’t always associate you to your fictionkin identities if you’re not really similar to them, but hey I really like Xingqiu and I am glad people see me in him because indeed ! I see myself in him too ! That’s awesome !

It’s not that deep, to me, I don’t care if it’s not who I am deep down, it’s still an accurate perception of who I am.

“Oh but Levi what will happen when you end up regretting it or stop identifying as yourself ?” I won’t ? Simple as that ?

Even if I ever lose my memories, my identity, my connection to who I am, it will always be dear to me to have what I lived for, what I life for, somewhere displayed proudly for the world to see. Because I am proud of who I am, I am proud to have fought for freedom. I am proud to have the Wings of Freedom on my body, and you can’t take that away from me.

Hello, Erwin. I am not wrong to assume it is you, am I ? It has been a long while since I last got to talk to you. Have you been doing alright, since last time ?

I have been able to find Hange here, a few days ago (or, well, they’re the one who found me), funny to hear from you both in such a short time frame.

First, I have multiple fictionkin identities. All of them are more or less influent and “here” depending on the time of the day or the period of the year, so how would I chose which one to change my appearance for ? There isn’t one in particular who is necessarily more “there” than the others. Those are my identities. All of them are.

Secondly, even if I am quite similar to all of my different identities in term of personality, I can not be the exact same as one of them. You can not put Vanilla Periwinkle, Wanderer and Nagisa Shiota in the same body and possibly think “mmh yes the mix of those will obviously be the exact copy of only one of them, even if all of them are very different”. No. That’s not how it works.

Of course, it hurts to be a character and people around you not seeing how they are you. It feels invalidating. It hurts. Personally, I even start to doubt my own memories and feelings in the worst of it. But at the same time, it is understandable. The mix of all of my personalities, contained in this body which has an identity of its own, will sometimes be more similar to others than to myself.

As an example, I am Wanderer, from Genshin Impact. There is no doubt about it in my mind. He is me, I am him, all the shit around that. Yet, my friends never associated him with me at first glance. They see me more in Xingqiu or Kaedehara Kazuha. And yes, it makes sense. They are not aware that I am Wanderer. And as of now, who I am and the image people have of me is indeed closer to those characters than to myself.

I shouldn’t have to change my ways just to act more like one character when it isn’t natural to me. If I changed just to be recognized as Wanderer, I would get what I want, but I would be erasing everything else that makes me.

Yet, they all know about my attachment to my source, to my world. I do not talk often about myself or about my source because I would despise more than anything seeming like one of those fangirls of the “character” I am. The idea of ever being mischaracterized like that highly irritates me.

I have exactly one tattoo. I see those things as something to think about for years before getting them, to be sure I really want it. So I guess it makes that sole tattoo on my body really symbolic, even though no one who knows about it knows how important it is to me.

Having the Wings of Freedom tattooed on my back represents so much more than just belonging to some fandom, it represents the ideals I’ve lived by since before I even joined the Survey Corps, in that other life I miss as much as I hated. It represents who I am deep inside, and no one will ever be able to take that away, just as the ink will always stay under my skin, there as a reminder of what I lived for, what my comrades died for.

But even if I’m not sharing it with anyone, there’s some moments when, as I’m unwrapping some gifts from my family, I like to pretend those gifts are actually birthday gifts. I don’t even know if I would have celebrated my birthday if I had known when it was, in the past. But it feels precious to have this for me, now.

I didn’t have a last name until quite late in my life. I didn’t have any family. I didn’t have a birthday. I only had my name, my convictions and my abilities for a long time, and those were my most prized possessions. It didn’t matter if they were not material. I didn’t have anything else.

It’s true that I didn’t learn about my birthday before coming back as a new person in this life. It shouldn’t impact me anymore, I outgrew the need for a birthday long ago. Yet, I feel strangely attached to this date. Knowing the day I was born, as futile as this information can be, brought me some kind of closure. It is another part of my history I never got to learn about during my first lifetime. Another thing to call mine.

I remember having a wingless dragon as my closest friend, I don’t recall much about them really, but I have those warm memories of them jumping around in a somewhat feline way as I would fly close to the ground behind them

I think they were smaller than me, too ? Smaller than all known breeds of dragons we’ve seen in the books, which is…a bit troubling ? Does that mean that my friend’s species went extinct after our time ? And what was said time ? I can feel in my core that it was centuries, if not millennia, before my life as Whiteout, but this is quite vague as a timeline