#leverage shifting

— adventures of the hellraiser known as alyssa kolanko, lisle's leverage: redemption drself ! !

alyssa joy kolanko, born lilka joyce kolanko in warsaw, poland, now living in new orleans, louisiana. known to her friends as lisle, to her girlfriend as rambo(derogatory) and babygirl(also sometimes derogatory), to her enemies as "crazy bitch".

some basics about her; too much energy, a hot mess, chaos personified, everybody's fav mean lesbian, hypersexual, a little unhinged, scary smart, scary strong, and in possession of an unbreakable resolve.

— her face card ,

— her body card ,

— her tatts ,

— her style ,

very casual soft butch. big t-shirts that say shit like "my favorite thing about you is your girlfriend", "men aren't funny", "white boy of the year" and "girls eat it better". sports bras because she's literally never not moving, spiderman and minecraft boxers, compression tanks, chunky ass boots, beat up sneakers, big hoodies, baggy jeans and cargo pants, carabiners with a bunch of keychains, shrek socks, gold jewelry, funky rings, silly earrings, messy long dark hair that's never styled, no makeup unless she's going out for the night- then she's going full evil femme; smudged black catlike eyeliner and shadow, glitter, highlighter, dark smudged lip liner + sheer lipgloss, a little contour to chisel out her cheek bones and jaw for a slightly more masc/androgynous energy, no blush.

— her hobbies include ,

working out, riding her motorcycle, ragebating men, ragebaiting her beloved girlfriend, grifting evil capitalists out of their billions (and ruining their lives <3), psychologically torturing the aforementioned evil capitalists, trying to help elliot in the kitchen (and failing), dancing, going out dancing (and drinking) with her girls and gays, being up at ungodly hours .

— her likes ,

breanna <3, women, drag shows, lifting, new orleans, playing video games (badly), singing in the shower (also badly), kissing those two cute little beauty marks on breanna's nose, doing anything stupid and dangerous (she has the survival instincts of a baby panda), motorcycle racing and stunts, karpatka, pestering elliot like its her job, the leverage crew, breanna again <3, mac n cheese (kraft only), october, fall, horror games but not horror movies (slashers as a genre are overtly sexist and torture porn for misogynists, in this essay i will-), jelly beans, her best friends, cats, stuffed animals, kids, did i mention breanna <3, the stray cats that hang around leverage hq (she even names them; Megatron, Microwave, Carbohydrate and Doorknob),

— her dislikes,

anybody who doesn't like breanna (she can and will beat the shit out of someone for her girl), capitalism (duh), cishet men, people that are nice but not kind (ifykyk), being one-upped by anyone at anything, being called competitive (she absolutely is), being woken up before 11am, being talked over (she'll just start talking louder, refusing to be a doormat), hot weather, summer.

— her abilities and strengths ,

deeply empathetic and compassionate, deeply hateful of the 1% and the government, breanna <3, lesbian, never loses a single fight (which is lucky since she's a grifter/hitter for leverage), can kick the ass of a guy four times her size and come out unscathed, can cry on command (convincing crocodile tears are a grifter's best friend), can bench well over 300lbs, can seduce anybody she wants with her loser swag and big autistic eyes, can recite the entirety of pi from memory for some reason, knows every single word to "four big guys", can piss someone off within a minute of meeting them, an amazing motorcyclist (thanks to a group of riders she ran with for a while who maintain illegal street races in the new mexico desert), an insanely talented dancer, multilingual (english, polish, spanish, german, french, italian, mandarin, japanese, asl and pig latin).

— her weaknesses and flaws,

deeply empathetic and compassionate, deeply hateful of the 1% and the government, breanna (if anybody ever laid a single finger on her, she'd lose it astronomically), a little too cocky, mouthy, cannot spell hor devours... hor's divorce... har dorves.. the leverage crew (if anybody hurt them she'd lose it too), emotionally avoidant, huuuuge trust issues and abandonment trauma (long story), has evolved into an extremely angry person (also long story), uses humor to hide her real feelings, can't work a computer for the life of her (pray for her computer nerd girlfriend yall), absolutely could be lured into a windowless van if they offered a free cat burns album.

— a very alyssa playlist , ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||။၊|။||။||။||။

femininominon, chappell roan

sexonthebeat , ADELA

at least im hot, RENEE RAPP

tnt, AC/DC

fuck me eyes, ethel cain

machinegirl, ADELA

nice girl, ASHNIKKO

too much, DOVE CAMERON

intimacy issues, LILYISTHATYOU

bravo.lesbo, CHANGELINE

leave me alone, RENEE RAPP

i don't wanna do this anymore, PVRIS

momentum, LILYISTHATYOU

all about me, LILYISTHATYOU

m.i.a, KATSEYE

aimed to kill, JADE LEMAC

we r who we r, KESHA

sail, AWOLNATION

skin cleared, ASHNIKKO

2 hands, TATE MCRAE

manners, ASHNIKKO

superscar, ADELA

pretty ugly, ZARA LARSSON

liquid, ASHNIKKO

gnarly, KATSEYE

for the glory, KIN PALO

©️ interdimensionaldyke, 2025