#lettersofwrittencollective1k

You were feeling a little overwhelmed with the prospect of meeting all of these new people. Placing the last fork on the table, you watch Stefan walk into the dining room and wrap his arms around Caroline and the girls fall into an easy conversation with him, giving you the perfect escape route. You slip out of the room immediately bumping into a solid chest, you look up finding those gorgeous blue eyes looking down at you.

Grabbing your hand he pulls you into the kitchen.

“Well, fancy bumping into you,” he smirks down at you, licking those lips that you dream about.

You drag him into the pantry and close the door behind you.

“This is a stupid idea Damon! I cannot do this!” you confess frustration clearly thick in your voice.

“Again with this princess, I’ve already told you. Yes, it’s stupid and I want nothing more than to drag you up those stairs and fuck you good and hard,” he bites his lip as you press up against him, placing a firm hand on your hip. “But, since things are already in motion, we just need to put up with it, until later. Or until I get bored.” he reasons running his fingers through your hair giving an experimental tug when he leans in closer.

“Damon, come on don’t talk like that, you know what it does to me,” you pout his lips drag across your jaw, until they’re pressed against your ear, teeth dragging over your earlobe. 

“Wait until dinner if you think i’m being unfair now. Maybe I should have a bite” he says as his tongue licks along the thick vein pulsing in your neck. When you moan quietly his blunt human teeth drag over the spot that he knows makes your knees week.

“I hate you” you grumble as Damon moves his face to look at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah? You hate this?” he asks hotly against your lips as he pushes one of his thick thighs between your legs, the hand on your hip helps you to roll your hips down into the muscle.

“Quit lying to me princess, we both know just how much you fucking love me and how good I make you feel,” his cocky voice only turns you on even more and God doesn’t he know it.

“Then take me upstairs then you cocky bastard, fuck me and quit being a tease,” 

“Oh that’s just adorable. You know I love being a tease, you can wait until I’m ready little one. Now, get out of here before I take you over that table in front of everyone.” he smirks, pecking your lips, chuckling when you growl at him.

Opening the door he gently pushes you out of the pantry, walking closely behind you. You jump as Stefan walks back into the kitchen and Damon’s back presses against you.

“What’re you two up to in here?” he asks confused looking between you and his brother.

“Well little brother, Y/N here was just telling me how bad she wants to get me on my own” Damon smirks at you as he walks past to stir the sauce.

The blush is flaming in your cheeks as Stefan laughs, “Ignore him Y/N, he doesn’t understand that some girls will just never be interested in him. The girls were looking for you by the way,”

Thanking Stefan you leave quickly, ignoring the conversation that starts between the brothers. You make sure to shoot Damon a glare as you walk back into the dining room, where you find everyone already sitting at the table. All the newcomers included. 

Caroline is on you as soon as she spots you, wrapping her arm around you she leads you over to a chair between a tall dark and handsome looking guy and Bonnie. You take your seat as the boys walk in with the food, “Dinner is served,” Stefan announced proudly.

The dinner moves along quickly, laughter and conversation flowing. However you’re completely distracted by the blue eyed vampire glaring at you from across the table, which pauses your conversation with Tyler. Who had just asked you something perfectly innocent, though by the look on Damon’s face he may as well have groped you under the table.

“You okay?” the young werewolf asks with a kind smile, resting his hand on your arm.

If looks could kill the man beside you would be dead. The trouble was with you and Damon was that this was half of the fun of your relationship, he was by far one of the most jealous men you’d ever met. You loved winding him up because an angry Damon was a rough and sexy sight to behold, not that it was hard to achieve. 

Crossing your legs beneath the table you turn towards Tyler with a smile, “Yeah, I’m okay. I guess I was just a little nervous about tonight. But I have a feeling things are about to turn around.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Tyler asks leaning in closer. However, just like you’d expected before he gets a little too close. A large hand lands on Tyler’s shoulder, roughly pulling him and his chair back from the table. 

“You’re moving. Now” Damon growls as Tyler stands ready to argue, Damon takes his chair and slams it down beside you making you jump a little. You look up at him biting back your smile, watching as he takes the seat and pushes the plate forward.

“O-kay” Caroline says loudly, as Tyler takes the chair by Stefan with a little persuasion. 

You can feel Damon’s glare burning into the side of your head as Alaric slides him a bourbon across the table. “I’m Alaric by the way, you can call me Ric,” the older man smiles, shaking your hand. To your surprise Damon doesn’t even twitch beside you, clearly this was a man he trusted, definitely more than Tyler.

“Nice to meet you finally, Ric. I’ve heard a lot about you,” you smile genuinely pleased to meet the hunter. 

Things calm down from there as dessert is served, but right as you take your first bite Damon’s hand lands on your thigh and squeezes. Glancing his way you narrow your eyes at him, he just smiles and nods at something Alaric asks, but you’re far too distracted to pay attention to what they’re saying. 

Still gripping tightly Damon’s hand drags up your thigh and slips beneath your skirt. Your hands are white knuckling the table as he pulls your legs apart and hooks one over his knee. Noticing that everyone is preoccupied in conversation Damon leans in close, pressing his lips so close to your ear they’re almost touching.

“If he ever touches you again, I’ll rip his fucking head off. I don’t care that you wanna keep us a secret for now. Nobody touches what’s mine, not in front of everyone else and especially not some mangy mutt.” 

You turn to look at him with a smile, licking your lips, your hand drops to his lap as you lean in closer pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. 

“You know I’m not interested in anyone else. So, how about you let me prove it to you again?” your question seems to peak his interest and that irresistible smirk is back.

You watch his eyes flick around the room making sure the coast is still clear, before focusing back on you again. Dragging his teeth over his bottom lip he glances down at yours.

“Mmmm, okay. I’m listening baby girl,” 

Cupping the bulge in his pants you turn back to your drink and take a sip, hearing Damon groan beside you when his fingers move a little higher, brushing against your completely bare center.

“See I told you I listen.” you smile against your glass before placing it back on the table.

“Fuck, no panties all for me princess?” he breathes out, pausing to wink at Ric when he sees him looking. 

“Clearly you don’t listen to me though, Salvatore. He knows doesn’t he?” your irritated voice questions and is promptly answered by a shrug and those icy blue eyes glance back into yours.

“How about I make it up to you?” he smirks wiggling those eyebrows at you.

Rolling your eyes at him you sigh. “You’re such a smart ass. Leave it five minutes and then follow my lead.” you tell him quietly, purposely knocking your drink over and soaking yourself. Pulling your leg back from Damon’s you awkwardly stumble backwards out of the chair. 

“Oh dammit! I’m so sorry guys, just excuse me for a minute. I should really get this cleaned up,” you rush to explain, practically running from the room before anyone can speak to you. Rushing over to the large staircase you run up to your bedroom and close the door behind you. 

Stripping yourself from your soaked clothes, you climb onto your bed naked and lay in the middle, with your back resting against the headboard. You can’t help but think maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if people started finding out about the two of you being together, it had been a while now. Besides, whatever you decided Ric seemed like a nice guy and you know Damon will keep respecting your wishes the way he’d proved to you the last few months. Even when things had become more series between the two of you, he’d respected your wishes at every turn. 

It’s maybe two minutes before your bedroom door opens and Damon steps inside, closing it quietly behind him. Taking long strides towards you, his piercing gaze never leaving your naked body. You bite back your smile watching Damon’s shirt drop to the floor, quickly followed by his shoes and ass hugging jeans. He vamp speeds towards you and pins you beneath him, wrists trapped under his big hands.

“You look good enough to fucking eat baby girl.” He mumbles into your neck, licking along the pulsing vein under your skin as his hands roam your body, your head drops back into the pillows and a gasp leaves your lips when he bites down on the muscle between your neck and shoulder. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” you moan out as he sucks a nipple between his lips and drags his teeth over the hardened bud. You can feel the thick length of his hardness pressing into your thigh, as he rocks his hips into you.

“Yeah, probably. But we both know I’ll make you feel good baby girl.” 

Damon pushes a hand between your legs and you can’t help the loud moan that leaves your lips. The man above you chuckles, pulling back slightly so he can meet your eyes. A large hand quickly clamps over your mouth as he presses two fingers inside you, a cry of his name is muffled against his hand. “Don’t forget princess. We have to be quiet, unless you want everyone down there knowing about the big bad vampire who’s about to ruin you? Again.” he smirks as his hand leaves your mouth, fingertips trailing down your body, over your stomach where he presses down as your hips arch into his hand and his tongue flicks over your clit.

Your fingers tangle in his thick black locks as he curls his fingers inside you, slowly stroking against the spot inside you that makes your entire body shiver. A needy whimper leaves your lips when he bites your inner thigh with his human teeth. 

“Always with the teasing, Damon. You owe me,” you remind him as those blue eyes flick back to yours.

“I fully intend to pay princess” he winks, sealing his lips around your throbbing clit, as his fingers speed up, curling just right with every movement. You’re biting into one of your hands before you know it, the fire licking at every nerve ending as you try to quieten your screams. 

“Damon, I can’t. Please” you beg behind your hand.

Damon moans into you when your pussy clamps down around his fingers, then he adds a third finger and with a flick of his wrist your entire body arches into his hand. 

“That’s my girl” Damon chuckles as your pussy flutters and clamps uncontrollably around his fingers, his tongue swirls around your clit and his fingers keep moving, helping you through your orgasm until you’re pushing at his head with your hands, too sensitive for anymore.

He crawls back up your body, cocky smirk still intact as he licks his fingers clean. You wrap your arms around his neck as soon as he’s close enough, you kiss him. Tasting yourself on his tongue you pull his thick bottom lip between your teeth, making him groan into your mouth.

“Fuck, I love you. So damn sexy,” he growls as you flip him onto his back in a practised movement. 

The rules were the rules in your relationship, Damon knew every time he messed up and you told him he owed you, he really owed you and he did exactly as you asked and exactly as he was told.

Sitting up on your knees you grip his length in your hand, until it’s pressed against your opening. “I love you too baby.” you purr finally lowering yourself down all the way onto his hard waiting cock.

Damon’s hands go straight to your hips, not guiding your movements simply holding onto you tightly. His grip was bruising when you started to move, leaning forward your hands landed on his chest, nails biting at the soft skin as you grind down into him like your life depended on it. His hands move to roughly grip your ass when you start to rise and fall on the thick length inside you, the slap he delivers to your ass only spurs you on.

You pull at his shoulders so he’s sitting with you in his lap, “Fuck princess, you want it bad tonight huh?” Damon grunts as your nails drag down his back hard enough to draw blood, the slap of your skin echoing around the room as you speed up your movements with his help. 

“Don’t care anymore. I need it, need you,” you moan loudly as he starts to meet your thrusts with sharp hard movements of his hips as you keep him pulled close. Your teeth drag over his earlobe before you whisper in his ear. “Do it, I know you want to” 

Damon’s grip on you tightens, his breath hot against your neck. You can even feel the scrape of his fangs against your skin, causing a shiver to run through your body, “you know what your blood does to me princess, they’re gonna know if i do. You taste like the most incredible bourbon ever made” he moans breathlessly, feeling your walls clamping down around him all over again.

“You mean you’re gonna be blood drunk off your ass? I don’t care what they think anymore, let them know I’m all yours baby” You whimper feeling one of his fangs slice through your skin, the drag of his cool tongue lapping up the falling droplet makes you whine. “Do it” you demand your voice wrecked as you do your best to hold back your orgasm, “You know the rules Damon” 

Your reminder does just as you’d planned snapping the only string of self control the vampire beneath you had left. A low growl leaves his throat when he finally sinks his fangs into the pulsing vein in your neck, you let out a pleasured scream, finally getting what you’d been waiting for all week. The band in your stomach snaps immediately, dragging you back over that edge like only he seems able to do. 

You’re barely coming down from your earth shattering orgasm when Damon finally gives into his own needs, moaning as your blood fills his mouth and his orgasm hits him hard. 

His smooth tongue is soothing over the mark he’s left behind when your hips finally still and your chest is heaving against his. He drops onto his back with you still on top of him, leaning on your forearms on his chest you look down into his gorgeous blue eyes, which are still lidded as he licks his lips. He goes to bite into his wrist but you stop him, “Leave it, I want it there” you smile as he tucks the hair behind your ear which has fallen in your face.

“What have you done to me princess?” he smiles back, that genuine smile that not many people get to see. 

“Nothing you don’t deserve” you reply honestly, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Well keep it up Missy and there’s a round two up for grabs” those wiggling eyebrows of his only make you giggle.

“Oh keep talking Mr Salvatore, I hear that shower calling your name” he reaches for you as you climb off the bed and head towards the on suite.

“You better run then” he grins, vamping off, you squeal as his arms wrap around your waist and he throws you over his shoulder and smacks your ass. “Don’t wanna keep the shower waiting do we baby” 

Once that was over and done with and they were parked in some field on the side of the road to rest, though, and Sam had fallen asleep… Dean took it right back out.

I know you’re never going to see this, but that’s okay. Sammy said I should keep a journal or some shit, but I said that was for girls and brushed him off. You always said I avoided talking about sensitive subjects like my life depended on it. I couldn’t help it this time. You leaving hurt too much.

I chose to text you instead - again, I know you’ll never see it, and if you did you’d probably be so fucking suprised to hear from the dope who memorized your number.

I always wonder if we could have been something good, you know. Always. It’s been a whole year, but damn… I always fucking wonder, you know? I could’ve been yours… and you could’ve been mine.

I always wonder if you remember, because I’ve never forgotten. I haven’t forgotten how we kissed, and I still remember the way you taste - at least, I try to. It’s been so long… The last bit of you I had left’s smell is gone. Your favorite shirt just smells like me now, and it’s my own fault for sleeping with the motherfucking thing when I should have been much more careful.

I always wonder if you might’ve moved on and gotten married, if you’d ever get the normal apple pie life.

I wanted that with you.

I always wonder when we meet again - if we meet again - if you’ll look at me like you did before you stormed out of our motel room because I was refused today it back. Why didn’t I say it? I wanted to. I was scared, I pussied out - but I can say it now.

I love you.

I’ll say it again. I love you. And now it’s too late, because you left me behind in that hotel room because I refused to tell you how I felt and now there’s no more chances, not for us, even though I always wonder if we could’ve been something spectacular.

I love you so fucking much. I can say it now. And you won’t ever fucking see it.

I’ve probably had way too much to drink, and I shouldn’t be allowed control over any sort of electronic device, but I always wonder if you think of me.

Every damn day, without fucking fail, I always wonder if I’ve even crossed your mind. Am I worthy of that? After what I did…

Fuck.

Y/N, baby, I’m so sorry.

I always wonder how much you hate me. It was three little words that meant so much, yes, and we’d been together so fucking long but I still said no, and when those tears ran down your face and you begged me to at least give you a hint at how I felt, I was a fucking ass and laughed. I laughed.

Why do I fuck up anything and everything good that comes into my life and the lives of everyone around me? When it could’ve been me, I always wonder why it was you that they took. You, who were the kindest, sweetest, most loving human being I ever met. Your dad always said you were too soft for the job, but you were such a fucking firecracker, even when he couldn’t see you.

He died, Y/N.

Bobby died.

I let your dad die.

I’m so fucking sorry.

I swear I tried to save him.

I just can’t do a single fucking thing right - not by Bobby, Dad, Cas, Sammy…

Not by you.

I’m sorry.

I always wonder why I never told you before you left, why I was a dumb fucking asshole who couldn’t tell you how he felt! I’ve changed so much since then, and I know that if the time frame of when you asked that had jumped to now then we would be something, because knowing what I know now… fuck, baby, I’d tell you the truth in a heartbeat. I’d tell you that you've been the one thing I have held onto all this time, the one thing that’s really kept me going.

Baby, you’re still the only person who’s never let me down, not once. Sammy’s left me for dead, Cas has left, and so has pretty much every other fucking person I’ve ever cared for. Everyone.

Everyone except you… and I always wonder how much I hurt you. I wonder how you felt when I laughed and refused to say those three words right back - and I know it hurt, because your cheek twitched up by your eye just a little like it did when you were close to crying. I hurt you so much, and all because I never told you how much you actually meant to me. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.

I miss you.

I always wonder how much it hurt when those fucking wolves ripped you to pieces. I wonder why you went on your own, but then I remember how strong and resilient you were.

They still got you. They got you, and you screamed for me, and I wasn’t fucking there.

I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry.

Dean’s sitting out on the hood of the Impala now, trying not to bother Sam as he tried to sleep in the backseat. Instead dean just looked down at the phone in his hand, fighting off tears.

“I couldn’t do it, Sweetheart,” he whispers. “I couldn’t, even though we could've been something absolutely incredible.”

He squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head back, face pointed to the sky as tears escape his eyes, and soon he’s crying. He’s crying so hard that he can’t stop, and he thanks Chuck (wherever the helm the guy is) that Sam was asleep, because he’d have been so embarrassed for his brother to have seen him bawling like a baby… but he really couldn’t stop now.

It was his fault.

His fault that, ten years ago, she’d stormed out of the motel room they shared with her eyes full of tears after he laughed in her face to ease the tension in the room after she confessed that she’d fallen in love with him. It was his fault for not going after her and for letting her get captured, and when he and Sam found her alive it was his fault for not getting to her sooner and letting her be ripped apart in front of him.

Dean takes out his cellphone again, staring down at all the past messages. There were hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands… It wasn’t enough. Dean still always wondered so fucking much about his best girl.

With a heavy heart and tear filled eyes, Dean does what he’d been doing every single day for the past several years, because why break tradition now?

It's been ten years, Sweetheart, but I always wonder if you’re waiting for me. I know Upstairs isn’t the place we thought it would be, but I hope you’re happy there. You of all people deserve a spot.

Zachariah once told me that you were with Dad and Mom; Mom’s back now. She left.

Everyone always leaves.

Sam was crushed, so was I. I’ve made a bunch of mistakes and have to own up to them more than ever because I’m not a kid anymore, but that’s not an excuse to abandon your children.

I’d have loved to have a couple with you - or twenty, if that’s what you wanted. We could’ve been everything, and I had to ruin it.

I’m sorry. I can’t seem to say that enough, baby, and I know I never will… but I have to let you go. This is killing me, and I hate that I’m just going to abandon you like everyone else, but I have no choice.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

So much.

Goodbye.

- Dean

Still crying, Dean looks up at the night sky, staring desperately up at the stars while silently begging for a sign that you were still around, that you knew how he felt.

He curses himself later on for not noticing right away that, beneath each and every bubble of text after text that he’d sent her cellphone, was a tiny line of text comprised of one word:

Seen.

Supernatural - @supernatural-bellawinchester @maximumkillshot @deanmonandnegansbitch @minninugget

Dean Winchester - @flamencodiva @akshi8278 @squirrelnotsam @lettersofwrittencollective

A deep-seated restlessness ached in your bones, pinching at the fatigue behind your eyelids because you should be asleep. You turned to look at the glaring neon of the clock - 04:06. You really should be asleep. And yet, despite your crippling lethargy, the agitation coursing through your body would not ease so you remained wide awake. 

You were glaring at the ceiling, willing the mockingly sluggish minutes to pass just a little quicker. But alas, they did not. They lasted aeons. And with every passing eternity, the anxiety increased tenfold because it was another infinity of solitude. It was another minute without Matt.

You heaved a sigh, your nostrils flaring. Trust you to fall head over heels for a guilty Catholic with a vigilante complex. Trust you to fall in love with a guy who didn’t care if he came home, because if he died it would be for his city. 

You weren’t quite sure what it was about this particular night that had your tensions up so high. Yes, each night you were worried, but tonight was different - you were absolutely terrified.

You heard the telltale grating squeak of the window being opened, and you ripped off the covers and raced to the living room. You almost sobbed when you saw the state he was in - your devil, all broken and beaten just for you. 

Rushing over, you immediately slung his arm around your shoulder and the pair of you hobbled over to the bathroom, you carrying the entirety of Matt’s weight. You seated him on the edge of the bathtub, before tearing through the cabinets for the first aid kit.

“What are you still doing up?” he croaked, but you didn’t respond, too focused on the task at hand. He was still looking in your vague direction for an answer, when you turned back to face him. You ignored him, and continued peeling away his blood-soaked armour.

You were a little pissed. You understood he wanted to help people, but wasn’t being an attorney for the innocent enough? If he was willing to die for his city, then why couldn’t he just live for you?

With a clinical precision, you threaded the needle and began to sew up his wounds. It was a strange romance you had. An odd little love language of Matt’s soft caresses and words when you fixed him up, and your hands, tense and cold because if you weren’t distant you were certain you’d cry, or scream. Or maybe both.

After you stitched him up, you slung his arm around your shoulder again, but this time he carried some of his own weight.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” You placed him down gently, and helped him lift his arms to put a clean shirt on. But before you could pull away again, he grabbed your wrist.

“Hey, talk to me, please,” he begged.

“I can’t. I’ve got to clean up.” A lame excuse, but you really didn’t want to deal with him right now.

“It can wait. This,” he gestured between the pair of you, “this can’t.”

“I don’t want to have this conversation.”

“What conversation?”

“The one where I beg you not to go out every night and get beaten within an inch of your life. The one where you insist you have to, for your city.” You paused as your voice began to crack, tears forming in your eyes. “The one where I’m not enough for you.”

“You are. You are more than enough for me - you’re perfect.” He grabbed at your hand again, kissing your knuckles as he gazed up in your general direction.

“How? How am I enough when you go gallivanting off into the night, and don’t give a flying fuck if you make it back to me, all while you say you love me.”

“I do this, all of this, for you. If I don’t do what I do, the streets wouldn’t be safe for you! For anybody!”

“Matt, it’s never going to be safe. You’re fighting far too hard in an endless war. A war you already commit yourself to with your normal day job.”

“It’s not endless. It will end. And I promise you, when it does, I’ll stop. For good. I won’t go looking for trouble. I promise you that.”

“You mean that?” You knew it was foolish to hope, stupid even. But you couldn’t help but give in - you needed something to believe in. Because you couldn’t go on another day if you didn’t believe that your life, your love, would amount to something. You’d go insane.

“Of course I do. You mean everything to me,” he whispered, hugging your torso from his height sitting on the bed. You nodded, and closed your eyes, relishing in the few moments of tranquillity you were gifted.

“Come on, lie down with me.”

“Okay,” you nodded, and Matt smiled in response pulling you into a quick kiss. 

He leaned back down on the bed and you climbed in next to him, careful not to aggravate his wounds which left you lying stiff next to him. Matt let out a scoff, before pulling your body flush to his.

“Is this okay? I’m not hurting you or anything?” 

Matt smiled, “Would I have let you if it did?” 

“Got a point there.”

You rested your head against his chest and let yourself just be for a minute or two; lapping up the few precious moments you had with Matt undisturbed. 

But then your head decided to think about the worst again.

“Matt?”

He hummed.

“You know how you said it would eventually end? I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. It’s like in Doctor Who - all the aliens only ever attack London; it’s like the rest of the world ceases to exist. That’s how it is for us - The Hand, the incidents, Fisk, crime. Everything happens in New York.”

“Where are you going with this?” you could detect the slight apprehension in his voice, he was probably worried the argument would continue.

“You said you’d give up the suit when you’ve stopped everything, you’re gonna be like 90 when that happens.” You giggled at the image, focusing on the hilarity of it, rather than the fact that Matt wouldn’t live to 90 if he kept going at this rate. That you’d die, old and alone.

“Why not? Stick does it.” Matt chuckled.

“Just picture it: Daredevil is discovered to be blind pensioner,” you said, reading out the imaginary headline, laughing all the while as Matt joined in. Once it ceased, it was eerily quiet as the inevitable truth smacked you in the face. Matt was going to die. And it could be any day. Maybe even tomorrow.

“I will do it. I will stop it. I promise you,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“How about we both call in sick and just cuddle?” he proposed.

“Okay,” you agreed with a half-smile trying to swallow the dread and enjoy the moment, despite the ever-dwindling time you had left with the love of your life.

It was a strange romance you had. An odd love language of numbered kisses and stolen moments in a staged ignorance of the counter on Matt’s life.

Tags: -

Castiel sits down across you and takes a sip from the booze he got for himself. Hundreds of questions are racing through your mind and you’re having a hard time deciding which one to ask first.

“Which one of those asshats sold me out?” you eventually settle on one. Around the apocalypse situation back in 2010, the angel branded your ribs with the spell that keeps people off the celestial radar, too, so he couldn’t have found you all by himself.

“Assuming you are referring to the Winchesters, it was Sam.”

“Should’ve thought so…” you say dryly. “When I texted him my location, I thought I made it clear that I’m only available in case of emergencies. “

“I sort of tricked him into believing this was an emergency.” he admits, and you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“What do you want, Cas?”

“I wanted to see you, Y/N.” your name rolls off his tongue the softest way possible. “When I was sent back to Earth from the Empty, I was perplexed not to find you in the bunker.”

“Yeah, well, I needed some space and a breath of fresh air.”

“A thousand miles away from there? From me?” he adds the last part reluctantly.

“You do not have the right to guilt-trip me, okay? If anything, I should be doing that to you…”

He draws his eyebrows together in confusion.

“I do not understand.”

Of course he doesn’t... You try to blink them away but a couple of hot teardrops stream down your face, nevertheless. He instinctively grabs your hand you’ve been resting on the table and squeezes it.

“Please look at me.”

Every fiber in your body is protesting because once you look into those ocean eyes, he wins… but you comply anyway.

“Explain?” he murmurs.

You hear the appeal leave his lips but all you can concentrate on is the way his fingers are pressing yours. It conjures the memory of the very first time you held hands...

You finished applying lipstick and checked your complete makeup in the review mirror. A sophisticated trophy wife was staring back at you, which meant that you accomplished your goal. You silently thanked the Lord Sam and Dean weren’t with you because you would never hear the end of their mockery.

“Okay, I’m done. Tell me, Feathers, how do I look?” you turned to Castiel who’d been riding shotgun before you parked your dark blue 1970 Ford Fairlane in the church’s parking lot.

“Uhm, you look lovely, Y/N, although you do not quite resemble your everyday self.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“For the sake of this mission I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“It was meant to be one.”

You shrugged then proceeded to give him a once-over.

“Well, you look dashing as always, but I suggest losing the trench coat. It doesn’t suit the occasion and we certainly don’t want to raise Father Milton’s suspicion. If he senses something is off, he’ll never lead us to his angel-hearing daughter.”

He appeared torn for a minute.

“But my angel blade is in my trench coat. If I leave it in your car and things take a turn for the worse, what will I use for protection?”

You pulled your chiffon skirt up, revealing a .45 Hardballer attached to your thigh. His eyes followed your abrupt movement but as soon as he realized where his gaze landed, he looked away. If you weren’t imagining, he even blushed a little.

“As long as we’re dealing with humans, this shall do.” you pulled the skirt back down. “Now c’mon. We need to find this Anna girl before the demons do.”

You both got out of the car and walked to the church’s entrance but before you went in, you adjusted his tie.

“Okay, Castiel, remember… we are Mr. and Mrs. Novak, expecting our first child, and we are here to see the girl who hears the angels so she could bless our baby.”

“I still believe this is a ridiculous cover story.” he commented.

“They’re religious people, they’re gonna buy it, trust me.”

With that, you took his right hand and laced your fingers with his. He almost yanked his arm away - you could tell from the little twitch you felt – but stopped himself from doing so.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

“We have to make our cover realistic and this is one way to do that. Relax a bit, would you? You’re stiffer than a stick…”

“What you’re saying is not humanly possible for my vessel, but I suppose I perceive the insinuation.”

You rolled your eyes at his awkwardness and pushed the church door wide open.

The memory makes you smile and when you look up to his face, you see him replicating your expression. He must’ve been reminiscing about the same thing.

You pull your hand from his grip and first you swallow your glass of bourbon, then his, too, not minding the puzzled look he gives you. You need all the liquid courage you can get.

“You want an explanation? Here you go!” you reply, feeling the warmth of alcohol spreading through your body. “I simply cannot be in your immediate proximity anymore, Cas, I just can’t! I have no idea when these feelings for you developed exactly, but they did. And every single time you sacrificed yourself for the greater good over the years, I died a little inside… which is crazy, because you’ve never seemed to be interested in me like that… So, when Lucifer killed you for the second time, that was the last straw. I couldn’t keep breaking my own heart for somebody who just sees me as a really close friend with occasional benefits. I had to get away in order to piece myself back together.”

He sighs your name passionately and the next second he leans over the table, gently captures your chin between his thumb and index finger and locks his lips with yours.

You’re not sure what amazes you more – the fact that he’s kissing you or the scene that starts outlining in your mind.

You remember the place that comes to life in your head. It’s the higher scale pub where you had your farewell drinks at with the Winchesters, Bobby and Cas the night before Sam let Lucifer wear him to the prom. Not counting the five of you and the bartender, the joint was empty - courtesy of the angel’s heavenly persuasion technique applied on the bouncer so he wouldn’t let anyone else in. 

But something isn’t quite right…this is not your memory. 

It’s Castiel’s, you realize.

Cas, Bobby and Dean were sitting around a table, the latter raising a hand to order another round of the most expensive scotch the place served. The world was ending, saving a few dollars on cheap drinks seemed utterly pointless. You and Sam were attempting to dance to an overrated pop song a few tables over, laughing whole-heartedly throughout the process. With a little liquor in his veins the man was a real talent on the dancefloor – or at least that’s what he thought.

“You do realize, Dean, that a few glasses of alcohol will not numb me to the point where I would forget what is ahead of us, right?” Cas inquired but before Dean had the opportunity to come up with a comeback, Bobby jumped in.

“They might not numb you but they’re sure as hell working for me!” he said as he took a sip from his newly arrived quality booze.

“All I’m missing is a hot babe on my laps...” Dean added “What do you guys say, shall we get ourselves some fun female company?”

“I do not know about Bobby, but it is a pass from my side.” Cas replied indifferently then averted the topic, asking what he’d been dying to know all night. “Why are Y/N and Sam dancing so close to each other? Their bodies are touching. Is there… is there something romantic between them?”

Dean and Bobby exchanged a curious glance.

“Cas… are you… jealous?” Dean chose his words carefully and asked in a tone only the three of them could hear.

“I don’t know, honestly. Emotions are a novelty to me.”

“Okay…how do you feel when you see them dancing that close?” Bobby tried approaching the topic differently and succeeded.

“I do not like it. I feel like it is wrong. I would like to be the one that close to her. But apparently, she is completely content with Sam’s proximity.”

“There’s nothing romantic between them, Cas.” Dean declared. “They used to date when they were high schoolers, but that’s it. They’re not an item anymore. So, go get your shot with her while you still can.” there was a short silence, but he continued “Man, my little brother must know something… I mean, staying friends after a breakup? I’m a ladies’ man and not even I can do that!”

“Enough of the bragging, idjit! Order another round instead, would ya? I’m still thirsty…” Bobby scoffed and downed the remainder of his drink.

The rest of the night went by fast. In the end, Bobby and Dean had to drag a very drunken Sam out of the bar as his own legs failed to support him. You returned from the restroom to find Castiel all alone.

“Hey, Feathers… were you waiting for me?” you asked with the sweetest smile he had ever seen and suddenly his heart began beating faster.

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I was. I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Go on…”

Instead of phrasing his thoughts, he just cupped your face and kissed you. After a short while you were the one to break the interaction and he instantly felt embarrassed, so he uttered the very first thing that came to his mind.

“Thank you, Y/N, for being such a great friend. I deeply appreciate it.”

“Uhm, you’re welcome, I guess…Is there anything else you wanted to share or…?”

“No, we can leave. The others are waiting outside.”

“Okay.”

He knew he screwed up. He had his chance and he totally blew it. But the worst part was that he had no idea how to make it right.

The flashback ends as Cas leans away and your eyes flutter open.

“You… you had a crush on me?”

“Ever since I met you, Y/N.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was convinced that a fierce, beautiful woman such as yourself could never accept a frail underdog such as myself to be by her side.”

His confession startles you immensely and you need a few seconds to collect your thoughts.

“You’re an idiot, Feathers.”  

“So I’ve been told.”

You both chuckle and this time it’s your turn to kiss him.

“There’s so much we need to catch up on…” you whisper against his lips, but he frowns, making you regret your words immediately.

“Uhm, we can’t just yet… first, there’s something I need to take care of.”

“What’s that?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

Funny how a four-letter word can hurt even more than any physical injury you have ever obtained during your career as a hunter.

“I see.”

“Y/N…“

“Don’t. Just leave, please.”

A flutter of wings indicates he complies with your wish. You call a taxi to take you to the motel you’re staying at as you’ve had enough to drink and don’t want to risk crashing the Fairlane. You are not in the mood for small talk, and sensing this, your driver turns up the volume on the radio. Heaven’s on Fire by KISS blasts through the speakers and it evokes the memory you associate with it.

Sometimes you just needed to take a break from hunting for the sake of your sanity and the estate in the Nebraskan countryside your grandma had willed you a couple of years prior proved to be an excellent safe haven. So consequently, when the Winchester found a very much so human Castiel, it wasn’t even a question where to hide him from the community of pissed off fallen angels.

On a particularly humid afternoon, you finished working on your car and took a quick shower to get rid of all the dirt and oil sticking to your skin. Having only a towel on, you proceeded to the kitchen with the intention of pouring yourself a glass of wine. Cas insisted on doing the grocery shopping, so you were all alone. Suddenly, Heaven’s on Fire by KISS started playing on the radio.

“God, I love this song!” you exclaimed and took a sip from your glass.

“I must say your taste in music is quite similar to Dean’s.” a voice spoke up behind you, making you jump.

You turned to see the ex-angel standing in the door with huge bags in his arms. He was back early.

“Jesus, Feathers, don’t sneak up on me like that! I almost threw my drink in your face and this shit is expensive! Every ounce of it should be treasured not wasted.” you scolded him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just… I just…” he was visibly struggling to express himself, but his gaze told you more than his words ever could as he slowly dragged it all over your body, examining every curve along the way.

“You’ve never seen a woman in a towel, have you?” you asked, not being able to suppress a smile.

“Only once in a movie about a pizza man.” he admitted shyly.

“A pizza man?” you furrowed your brows but soon enough you remembered the story about this. ”Oooh, I get it. In that case... put the groceries on the counter.”

He appeared a bit confused but did as instructed anyways. When he turned back to your direction, you undid the knot on your towel and let it pool around your legs.

“Now, I want you to show me what you learnt from that pizza man.”

“Are you okay, lady?” the driver asks, turning the volume down a bit and you realize you’ve been crying.

“Uhm, yes… I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” you reply while wiping your eyes.

You roll down the window and let the cool air dry your wet cheeks. This is the last time you allow yourself to be devoured by sorrow because of Castiel. Tomorrow you’ll retrieve the Fairlane and get gone, not leaving a trace you can be found upon.

A/N: Congratulations to @lettersofwrittencollective on reaching 1k! You’re amazing and I hope you like this! (Also, @moongoddesskiana & @stiles-o-dylan24 because you asked to be tagged if I do anything else)

I thought I was dead. I’d been kidnapped and tortured and I thought I was dead. Theo knew Stiles didn’t trust him and he decided I was the way to keep him quiet.

“Just a little longer, that’s all I need, he’s so wrapped up in wondering where you are, he doesn’t care what I’m doing anymore, ironic that that’s why he hasn’t found you” Theo muttered as he traced lines along my face with his fingers, too close for comfort after scratching cuts into my flesh yet again. This had gone on for a couple of days now, always something different, but always painful.

“I’ve nearly got them, and I couldn’t do it without your help. Even when they find you, looking like this, they won’t be looking at me, they’ll only be looking after you” he continued.

“They won’t, I’ll tell them” I cry back at him as he laughs. “Oh sweetheart, you won’t be awake” and then it went dark.

•••

“Dad, Melissa, please, you’ve got to let me in to see her! Please”

I slowly open my eyes as I hear a voice, a familiar voice pleading outside my door. I hear a few other mumbles in response but I can’t quite make them out when my door opens.

I frantically look around, terrified that Theo is coming back when I feel something pull on my arm and I realise it’s a cannula. A few more glances around the room and I see a chair, a heart monitor, blood bags and other bags filled with various coloured liquids all flowing into my body. I’m in the hospital. The door finally swings all the way open and I snap my head in the direction of the boy I realise owned the familiar voice I heard; Stiles.

“Oh god, Y/N” he says, his voice catching on my name and I can see from here the bags under his bloodshot eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping, but he has been crying. “We couldn’t find you, for days we couldn’t find you and I was so scared. If something was to happen to you, I’d, I can’t” Stiles starts to ramble and I shakily hold my hand out for him to take.

“I’m okay” I croak out, “I’m okay Stiles, I’m a little banged up but I’m okay”

Stiles sighs and I can see the tears forming in his eyes as he takes my hand in both of his.

“Y/N, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” he must see the shock on my face because he squeezes my hand as he says “just let me get this out okay? I’ve been holding it in for way too long because I was scared and then there was never the right time but after you were taken I realised, it’s not the time that’s right, it’s the person and you’re always the right person Y/N, you always have been. I love you and you can never scare me like that again okay? I mean it! You can’t because I can’t lose you, it would kill me to lose you so you can’t”

“Stiles” I interrupt, “I won’t, I’m sorry, I’m not going anywhere. Stiles, I love you too”.

His eyes shoot up to meet mine at my words and neither one of us can stop the smile on our faces.

He slowly removes one of his hands from mine while squeezing my hand with the one remaining and cups my cheek, stroking my cheek bone gently, careful not to touch any of the cuts adorning my face.

“Would it be okay if I kiss you?” He asks so quietly I barely hear him and all I can manage is a nod, not quite convinced that after all this time this is finally happening.

Slowly, he leans in and his lips meet mine. The kiss is gentle, careful not to hurt me but everything is pushed through it. Every lingering look we’ve made to one another when the other wasn’t watching, every look filled with love, every laugh that was just a little too enthusiastic, every spark that was fired every time we accidentally touched one another, every time we desperately wanted to say those three words to each other but couldn’t was felt in this kiss and it was the most honest thing either one of us had ever done.