#letsgetserious

Many many thoughts going through my head. The first two days of this week, I was like “hey let’s get some productive days in!”

So I went to have coffee with an old colleague of mine, and also with my hubby. And today....I. AM. TIRED.

I have no motivation, and the thoughts of work is going through my head. I know I need to talk to the person I have left it responsible for, but I can’t get myself to even do that.

And my hubby bought me my favorite game, Kingdome Hearts 3, and I don’t even have the energy to open it, or even rip open the plastic.

I mean, what are you supposed to do during sick leave? Just space out to empty space? Constantly thinking of work? Sleep? I DONT KNOW.

These thoughts are going through my head constantly, and I can’t relax. I just have Netflix on, and just chill in the couch.

I wasn't going to say anything about the shooting because I'm not always comfortable saying my thoughts on social media. However, I've realized that I need to voice my opinion, because it's a different one. I've seen an equal amount of both opinions over the past few days - guns or people? Do we need to get rid of the guns, or do we need to pay more attention to the people?

I've seen this debate tossed back and forth for so long with so many supporting points that, honestly, I don't know how to pick a side. I'm a strong advocate for mental health, and I do believe that childhood trauma and mental illness can affect a person's decisions. On the other hand, guns are frequently abused by all types of people, and I do think that they should be kept under a better lock and key.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I believe both sides to be true. A shooting happens because of a person, but it also happens because that person was able to get a gun so easily. People are arguing that there are other weapons that could be used if guns were to be restricted, but while it's true that someone could do a lot of damage with some kind of bladed weapon, guns are more impactful.

And while mental health does not excuse anyone's actions, it should be taken into account when these things happen. A shooter with mental illness should be treated for that illness as part of their incarceration. Kids in public schools should be evaluated on their mental health every so often, because they often wont speak up if they feel like there's something wrong. Teachers should be alert and aware of their students' behavior, and of the behavior of their fellow faculty.

I'm not choosing a side - blame guns or blame people - because both sides are to blame, and both issues need to be addressed and dealt with.

I'm tired of going to school every day with a little whisper of fear in the back of my mind that someone might pull out a gun. I fear for my friends still in high school, I fear for my family members who are in school. I'm sick of the constant fear, and it needs to end.

Prism, formerly Queers&Allies, at FLCC will be holding a letter-writing day sometime this semester, where students can send a letter to any active political figure about a current issue they feel strongly about. This will be the subject of my letter, and I hope I won't be the only one.