#lethim

Bro, you got so deep so fast. Great question honestly.

funnest answer is my one oc Lethim Pyrsis, he has a deep seated fear of women and femme presenting people and it makes me laugh. continue to be my pathetic blorbo.

For a real answer 🤔

Probably Kaiyaa Baiful... she's my very freaky obsessive yandere girl who I love dearly, but you peel that back and most of her insanity and obsession comes from her insecurity and fear that she can never, WILL never be enough for troll society as a ruler.

In my personal lore, she is the youngest of three hatchmates (sisters, i just call them cuz idgaf abt troll terminology) who are lined up to be next in line. The eldest, Kelsie, has no interest in the kingdom, as she's more into being a pampered princess, while the youngest, Kurage, is mentally capable of handling the diplomatic bits, but unable to usher out her violent tendencies that are necessary to keep troll society as it is, in check.

Kaiyaa falls at the very end of this trio, her inexplicable fear of not living up to being a leader never being something she owns like Kelsie, rather, something she tries to push down and run from...

Kurage has all the capabilities, the talent, the know-how to do it all on her own- instead of trying to push herself to be as good as her sister, she just brushes it off and shakes all her responsibilities onto Kurage because shes afraid.

She's scared she isnt good enough, never can be. Scared even of herself sometimes when she flings herself into obsessions and fixations that end up causing damage to others, no matter how well-intentioned she is. Kaiyaa does a lot of work to just... give up on being "good, smart, and righteous" because it's too much work and it's easier to give into her basic instincts... and on top of that, it's terrifying yo fail at something she *really* wants bad.

She's scared of the fact she wants to be a strong and capable leader, and even more terrified that if she tries, all she will do is fail, so she takes the cowardly route of not trying to be a better person, and just feeds into her selfishness.

Let him fantasize about the many things he wants to do to me

Let him wonder if he has a chance

Wonder doesn't get you anywhere

If you don't take a chance

What do you have to lose?

Friendship is a building block

& I'm willing to lay the first brick

I've never been afraid to show my heart on my sleeve

Let him know how I feel

If he can't deal

There's no need for hard-feelings

Feelings come & go

Like the ocean kisses the shore.

I : Perihal dia yang kecewa dengan sikapmu itu hak dia dan tugasmu adalah meminta maaf. Cuman sayangnya ada hal yang kita engga bisa kontrol. Kamu tau kan?

A : Iya, apapun yang datangnya dari orang lain kan?

I : Nah, kerap kali kita lupa memang kalau apa-apa yang datangnya bukan dari dalam diri sendiri ya engga bisa kita kontrol. Balik lagi, tentang respon dia yang acuh setelah kamu mencoba menghubungi dan meminta maaf ya itu hak dia.

A : Tapi rasanya dia berubah banget, dia jadi sosok yang bukan aku kenal dulu hmm tapi aku jadi berpikir atau malah aku yang engga kenal dia semenjak dulu ya?