#lesbianttc

I am really tired of all these lesbian TTC videos or blog posts about them getting pregnant after 1-3 attempts. For some of us that is NOT reality. Where is all the couple that took years for it to work? Where are the couples that needed 8+ IUI’s to conceive? I’m not trying to sound bitter but to constantly get negative after negative then look online to find others like us and find nothing but couples that have had success after 1-3 tries is defeating honestly. I’m am truly happy for all the LGBTQA couples that have had success but I have yet to find a forum where there are more people like us, people who are struggling. I don’t what that pitiful ass “oh it will happen someday just keep trying” BS because we have been saying that to ourselves for 2+ years now. There is nothing medically wrong with us but yet I constantly read stories on forums how people with all kinds of issues get pregnant immediately. How can anyone in our shoes not be upset by this? Anyways, I would to like to see a forum where I can be around lesbian couples who are struggling just like us, people who have failed as many times as we have so it doesn’t seem so lonely…..

Wish us luck!

Anyways, I’m off to bed. A long night shift (1 of 3 i worked) and little sleep means I have to say adieu.

Ah. Why is this so stressful when it is so easy for so many.

I have been incredibly moody the past few days. After getting the news about the other embryos all arresting, I have been down and stressed. I started this cycle with low expectations (I'm a realist/pessimist) then they got really high on transfer day with 1 blast and 8 great quality morulas that looked a day behind. I wasn't expecting all of them to have stopped completely. I'm trying to be happy I pushed for a fresh transfer (who knows if this one would have survived another day/freezing/thawing?) and trying to stay positive for it and think that it will work. If this blast implants and survives? Perfect. We may only have one kid and I might be okay with that; might change my mind in the future then we would have to discuss what to do. If it doesn't implant.... we no longer have any backups (especially ones covered by ohip!) we would have to try to coordinate another IVF cycle through mt Sinai and insurance (ugh!). But after a good cry last night in bed with the wife, I'm feeling a bit hopeful. Day of transfer I had some cramps/twinges of pain but that's normal. Sat/sun I didn't have many cramps which was slightly concerning and didn't help the stress. Today however I have had AF-like cramps all day. Normally I don't have any until the day of or after my period so I'm trying to be hopeful. I went and bought dollar store pregnancy tests cause I'm cheap and cause I want to test to make sure pregnyl is out so I don't get my hopes too high. My whole family is cheering on the ball of cells and I can only hope I have positive news for them soon!

Ultrasound showed no follicles but the bloodwork showed my progesterone is elevated! Which means those cramps from a couple days ago were possibly ovulation cramps!! I have to wait a week and hope my period comes. If it doesn't then next week I go back for another blood test to see what's up. The doc confirmed there's no "in hospital IVF" so have to figure out the benefits the wife is getting but I'm hopeful now! We're also registered for the clinics IVF "meeting" in a couple weeks. The clinic handles all the meds and ultrasounds, we only have to go to the IVF clinic for the harvest. I'm getting excited! Once we get confirmation of when benefits kick in and what they cover, we will decide if we're doing one IUI or just straight to IVF.

I just felt....cramps!  So far it’s CD 63 and I’m over 3 weeks from the drilling surgery. I’ve had no bleeding so I would KIND OF welcome a period.  I’m seeing the doc on Jan 5th so if I get a period we would have to decide what to do this month. Lots of questions.  That is...if a period shows up. 

I heard your heartbeat last week. 131bpm. It was nice to hear that you are in my tummy, thriving. You definitely gave us something to be thankful for.