#lenas300challenge

Even after Lucius graduated a few years ago, people still didn’t like you and you gave up, finding that trying to make people understand you is too tiring. You had one more year left at Hogwarts and all you wanted was to finish it off gracefully, no longer embarrassing yourself with the rejection of friend groups.

Tapping your fingers against the table, you tried to pay attention to professor McGonagall teach today’s lesson, but it was really hard when all you heard was the Marauders definitely not paying attention. It was irritating really how they didn’t seem to get trouble for their antics today. After hearing one of them snicker, you couldn’t help but look back at them. Sirius and James were both turned around to Remus and Peter’s table, Remus had his face in his notes but an obvious smile on his lips and he listened to his friends. Peter was snickering quietly as James mumbled something, but Sirius was the only one who hadn’t been paying attention, instead he was smirking as he saw you staring at his friends. Once he caught your attention, he sent you a wink before your eyes widened and you almost snapped your neck as you faced the front again.

Sirius rolled his eyes as he turned back to the group. “Malfoy was looking at us.” He whispered as James scoffed.

“What did she want?” James mumbled with a half smirk as he spared a glance at you, finding you focused more on the lesson.

Sirius furrowed his brows. “And I would know because we obviously had a very vocal conversation.” Sirius said sarcastically as his friends laughed a little louder, James nudging Sirius before someone cleared their throat behind James. The four of them looked up, seeing McGonagall standing there and the whole class looking at them. “Hello Minnie, what can we do for you?” Sirius asked, plastering a smile on his face that caused Professor McGonagall to purse her lips.

“Mr. Black, it would do you and your friends good to pay attention in my class. Especially for the term project I’ve assigned.” She raised a brow at them and Sirius remained unfazed.

“Ah, that’s okay Minnie. I’m sure we’ll all figure it out together.” He sent he a wink as McGonagall started towards the front of the classroom.

“For your project, I will be assigning your partners.” You watched Sirius’ smile fall as you let out a laugh, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Professor McGonagall, though she said nothing. “And Mr. Black?” She called out, without even turning around. “That’s detention.”

He threw his hand in the air as he glanced around the room, finding you trying hard not to smile. Sirius huffed out a breath at your reaction. Although he’d hadn’t had many run-ins with you, he knew your brother was bad news and he assumed you’d be just like him. He heard rumors of you trying to befriend people, but based on the fact you never seemed to stay with those people, Sirius was certain it was because you were like your brother.

As Professor McGonagall began rambling off partners for the project, Sirius finally began listening, waiting for his name to be read. His friends all had their assignments and Sirius shifted in his seat, realizing there were only a few people left. “Sirius Black.” McGonagall said and for what seemed like the first time as she read off the names, she paused. Sirius furrowed his brows, watching her cross something out and scribble down something else before she continued. “And Y/N Malfoy.” Sirius’ mouth dropped opened as he stared at McGonagall, knowing he heard her correctly. He looked over to you, seeing you slumped back on your stool in a state much like Sirius.

“Class dismissed.” McGonagall said before looking up, seeing a few of her partners already heading to each other to start talking. In fact, the only two who seemed not to was you and Sirius. You slowly packed your belongings, sparing a glance back to Sirius who was still sitting in shock.

“Great.” You mumbled before heading over to him. “Black?” You said, knocking him out of his stupor. He blinked a few times before letting out a pitiful laugh and grabbing his bookbag.

“Come on, lets get this over with.” He grumbled as he started walking out of the room. Staying in place, you looked back to McGonagall, seeing a smirk on her face as you began to wonder what you did to her for her to force this on you. “Malfoy, are you coming?” Sirius asked when he realized you weren’t following.

You swallowed thickly before following behind him in silence until you reached the library. He stopped inside, glancing around to all the students before looking to you. “You really weren’t paying attention when she told us about the project, were you?”

Sirius expected you to bring that situation up, but he hadn’t expected your voice to sound so soft when you had. He nodded slightly, licking his lips as he quirked a brow. “I think we both know I wasn’t.”

“I figured.” There was a playfulness that again shocked Sirius as he cleared his throat, following you to the correct section of the library. You scanned the shelves for a moment before starting to pull books out. When you had a couple of them in your hands, you turned towards Sirius, giving him a huge fake grin as you pulled his hands up and started piling the books into him.

Sirius looked down at the stack as it started piling up. “Do we really need all these?” He asked dumbfounded, pulling his head back as the books reached his face. He heard you laugh and furrowed his brows.

“Absolutely not, but I wanted to see how many it’d take you to say something.” You smirked, counting the books in his hands. “It was 13, in case you were wondering.”

Sirius tried to hide his chuckle but it didn’t work. As soon as you removed all but 3 books, his face was back to the same mad looking one he wore when you left the classroom. You quickly averted your gaze. “Shall we?” you asked, gesturing to the table next to you. Sirius didn’t nod or anything as he placed the books onto the table and slid into the seat with his back to you. You let out a nervous breath you hoped he couldn’t hear as you moved around the table.

“So,” Sirius said, looking down at the books. “What’s the project?” You nodded and explained the project to him again, this time with Sirius listening and asking questions.

“That’s it?” Sirius asked a few minutes later once you were finished. You nodded, watching him lean back with a smirk. “See I didn’t need to listen in class.”

“Only because I did.” You quipped with a chuckle and reached for a book. Sirius, however, saw you reach for it and grabbed it first. He wore a grin as you looked at him, rolling your eyes and reaching for another one.

“You’re so mature.” You mumbled and Sirius clicked his tongue with a grin.

“I am, aren’t I?” His obvious use of sarcasm wasn’t lost on you as you flipped opened your book, scanning the pages for any useful information. Sirius did so as well, although he kept taking looks up at you before slamming his book closed. The sound caused you to jump as you looked up confused. “Okay, what’s your deal.”

“My deal? You’re the one who slammed the book closed?” You narrowed your eyes in confusion as he shook his head.

“I mean, are you like everyone says you are?” He shrugged and once again you were confused.

“People talk about me?”

Sirius averted his gaze, unsure if he should say more. “A little.” He admitted, watching you nod slowly.

“What do they say?” your voice wavered a little and Sirius gulped as he shifted in his seat.

“Just that you were the same as your brother.”

You let out a surprise huff of air with your eyebrows raised. “Oh.” You began, glancing about the library. It was then you noticed a few people casting looks your way, seeing you with Sirius obviously earning a few conversations.

“Are they right?” Sirius asked bluntly, tapping his pen against the table.

You locked eyes with him, your mouth upturning to smirk. “Absolutely.” You lied, seeing Sirius’ face falter. “You know, Lucius and I, brother and sister, why wouldn’t I be like my family?” Your question was rhetorical and Sirius knew it, but one thing was hitting him hard. He knew how Lucius was, everyone did, but he also knew how different one can be from their family. Look at his family. His brother and him barely spoke to each other as it is and he was estranged from his parents before he was even out of school. Why did he just assume you were like your brother? Why did everyone assume you were like your brother?

“Look this was fun, kind of, and it was a great beginning to the project, but I have to go to my next class.” You lied to him, putting the books in your arms to borrow. You left Sirius with the one he was reading as he nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” Sirius said, shaking away the thoughts in his head. “Uh, meet tomorrow?” He asked and you nodded, not looking in his eyes.

“Yeah. See you then.”

With that, you were off, leaving Sirius alone in the library with the book in front of him. He sighed loudly after you left, slowly falling himself forward onto the table. He couldn’t be wrong about you, right? 7 years of going to school together and he couldn’t have assumed wrong about you this whole time, could he?

Sirius groaned to himself, realizing he had been sitting there for quite alone before shoving the book into his backpack and heading out to find his friends. He realized he could’ve used his map, but he needed the walk. It took him down the black lake, feeling the cool air hit his skin as he stopped walking when he saw someone sitting against a tree. He snickered quietly as he moved closer, leaning against the tree.

“So, what class is this?” he asked, watching you jump out of your skin, the book you were intently reading flying out of your hands as Sirius threw his head back in laughter.

“For Merlin’s sake Black, what the hell?!” you shouted at him, holding an arm against your stomach as you let out a breath.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” Sirius continued to laugh as he fell to the ground, pushing your book over to you as you snatched it, keeping your eyes off him.

“You are not funny.” You muttered, fixing your position as Sirius moved to lean against the tree right next to you.

He was still laughing slightly as you opened your book back up, trying to find where you left off. “So, are we going to talk about how you lied about having class?”

“Nope.” Sirius made an appreciative face at your honesty as he watched you adjust your green and silver scarf around your neck. There was a silence that overcame the both of you before you couldn’t take it anymore. “Did you need something?” You asked, putting your book in your lap as you turned to meet his grey eyes.

Sirius put on a cocky smile. “Nope.” He said, popping the ‘p’. You bit lip as you kept yourself from saying anything and looking back to your book.

Once again, there was a silence as Sirius stared out to the lake, often taking glances to you reading. “Stop looking at me.” You muttered and turned your page.

“I’m not looking at you.” Sirius said very much falsely as his eyes never moved off your face.

“Black, I’m serious.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m-“

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” You interrupted him, looking at him again only to see him smile. It was then you realized he was messing with you, trying to get a reaction out of like he’d get out of your brother. “Alright. How about this, you can ask me one question a day until the end of the project, but you have to leave me alone for the rest of today.”

Sirius raised a brow. “What makes you think I want to know anything about you?” He asked and you shrugged.

“It’s your choice, take it or leave it.”

Sirius considered for a second before nodding. “Okay, deal.” You expected him to ask you the question then, but he didn’t, instead he just sat there.

“Your question?” you nudged him, hoping this could be sped up.

“Oh, I have to think about it.” He smiled at you again before leaning back against the tree.

You groaned although you were amused at his choice. “Fine, then as you think, lets get some work done?” You switched your book for one about the project and Sirius listened, pulling out his book. You weren’t sure how long you both sat there, talking over the project and exchanging information, but soon it was getting colder and even your scarves weren’t warm enough for the cool air.

“I think that’s enough for tonight.” You said before letting out a yawn as you covered your face.

Sirius nodded as he stretched. “Agreed. I still have my question though.” You nodded, fighting off another yawn.

“Yep, what do you want to know?”

You both stood off, brushing off the grass as Sirius pondered for another second. “What’s your favorite color?”

You looked at him with astonishment. “That’s your question?” you asked and he nodded. “Out of everything you could’ve asked, you want to know my favorite color?”

Sirius doesn’t know why he chose that question, but seeing your confused reaction, he deemed it the right now. “Yep.”

“Y/F/C.” you said, letting your voice rise with amusement. Sirius pretended to make a mental note as you rolled your eyes, throwing your bag over your shoulder. “You’re going to forget.” You called over your shoulder as your heard Sirius jog to meet your strides as you walked.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Miss Malfoy.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eyes, an action Sirius caught with a grin. “My memory? Spectacular.” He boasted and you nodded, stopping when Sirius and you were about to go separate ways.

“Good, at least then I know you’re not going to forget our study times? Tomorrow? Black Lake after classes?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll bring us a blanket.” He promised, making a mental note as you snorted.

“That’s cheeky.” You grinned before walking your way, hearing Sirius yell out to you.

“I meant for the ground! So, we don’t have to sit on the grass!” You glanced over your shoulder before you turned the corner, sending Sirius a wink as he stood in place, watching you disappear. “Cheeky.” He scoffed, finding the smile on his face not going away any time soon.

Sirius, despite his memory not being as perfect as he promised, was right on time for the project time the next day, and the day after that and every day for the next month, often getting there before you. He always had the blanket too, spreading it out on the ground as you both sat or laid on it, reading your books and working on McGonagall’s assignment.

You didn’t have much longer in the project, and Sirius and you were right on schedule to finish and if someone asked you, Sirius and you were starting to get along really well. Sirius felt the same way, he wasn’t expecting a friendship to blossom between the two of you, but it was so easy. You were so unlike how he expected. Sirius was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow as he flipped through the book in front of him, honestly getting a little bored of what he was reading. He sighed, eyes moving to you, slouched over and head leaning onto your palm as you flipped the page.

Feeling Sirius looking at you, you glanced up, meeting his eyes and smiled before looking back down. Sirius however never looked away, in fact, a weird feeling overcame him. There were butterflies in his stomach and they wouldn’t leave. Although, he wasn’t sure if he wanted them too.

“Sirius?” you looked up. The butterflies seemed to flutter faster as you called him by his name, no longer by Black. “You haven’t read in almost 5 minutes, are you alright?”

He nodded, a lazy smile on his face as he pushed back his long hair, running his fingers softly through it. “Just tired, Y/N. We’ve been working for a while.” He admitted and you agreed, slowly closing the book and leaning back on your palm, settling into a position to look at him.

“Finish the rest tomorrow? I honestly think we’re almost done.” You voice held disappointment you hoped Sirius hadn’t picked up on. If he did, he didn’t say anything. “Got today’s question?” Sirius smiled slowly. He loved the question part of the day. Some of them were things like favorite class, favorite animal, favorite food and others were ones like what your Boggart was, if you’ve ever had your heart broken, just personal questions. Sirius allowed you to ask him a couple too and mainly you just re-asked his questions, figuring if you had to answer them then he had to as well.

Sirius sat up as he looked at you, preparing to ask the question. “That first day of the project,” He began, earning a nod from you to continue, “why did you pretend to have a class?”

You gulped, making a face. You should’ve known he would’ve asked that sooner or later. “I didn’t want to be assumed the same as my brother.” You admitted quietly. Sirius felt awful for asking as soon as he did. He should’ve realized the reason. “We’re different people, with different ideals, different mannerisms. I didn’t want his legacy to become mine. I think when you asked me if I was like him,” your words slowly quieted as you looked out to the lake, taking a shaky breath, “I figured if people were going to assume who I was without figuring it out themselves, then I’d let them.”

Sirius just stared at you, a small smile on his face that was beginning to make you uncomfortable before he spoke up. “I think I’m figuring you out.”

You let out an unsteady breath. “You are, are you?”

“I think so. I do know one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“I like spending time with you.” His smile never faded from his face as you slowly smiled yourself.

“I like spending time with you, too.” You admitted, pulling your knees up as Sirius and you looked away from each other, feeling your cheeks heat up. The smile remained on your face until a few certain thoughts made their way into your mind and you had to remind yourself of a few things. The biggest thing?

He’s only spending time with you because he has to.

You cleared your throat, shoving the books and papers you had into your bag as you scurried off the ground. “Um, I almost forgot I have to do something!” you lied and right away, Sirius could tell. He didn’t say a thing as you backed away reminding him of tomorrow’s final worktime before you were gone, leaving Sirius alone to ponder what just happened.

That night, alone in your room, you finished up the project, putting the final touches and saving you the next few days of having to work with Sirius. You weren’t sure why you did it.

Maybe you didn’t want to force your presence upon Sirius anymore.

Maybe you figured it was better to detach yourself from Sirius before he could.

Or maybe you’ve realized the feelings you had every time Sirius smiled at you were no longer platonic.

The next day, Sirius had the blanket all set up by the time your study session came to start, he was seated, leaning against the tree as he waited for you. Today was going to be a big day for Sirius, he’d been telling his friends about you for the last month and after several nights of them trying to convince Sirius to tell you how he felt about you, he was going to. He was beginning to get a little concerned when you were late since you’d never been late before.

“Hey.” He heard behind him as he stood up, meeting your eyes as you stood back from the blanket. Her furrowed his brows, watching you fold your arms tight to your body.

“Is everything okay?” Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice lighthearted despite the dread in his chest.

You nodded, gulping and dropping your eyes. “I finished the project last night.”

“You what?” Sirius asked, unsure why you would do that. “I thought we were going to finish it together.”

The silence that crossed you both made Sirius uncomfortable. “Well, now we don’t have to.”

“Did I do something? If this was about the questions-“

“It’s not about the questions, Black.” Sirius’ heart dropped as you called him by his last name. “Look, the project’s over, you don’t have to be forced to spend time with me anymore, you can go back to pranking with your friends and I can go back to my books and avoiding everyone.” You started to turn around and head back to the school but obviously Sirius ran after you, grabbing your hand to turn you around.

“Hey, I was never forced to hang out with you.” He tried to counter but you just shot him a look, putting a smile on your face to hide much this was actually hurting you.

“If we were never assigned as partners, you’d still be thinking I was like Lucius, probably talking about me behind my back and your friends would be-“

“Don’t.” Sirius cut you off, not wanting you to take a trip down that path. He took a breath, trying to keep his voice low. “Y/N, If I never sat with James on the train in first year, I wouldn’t have any of my friends. If I stayed with my family, I would’ve grown up like them. If I hadn’t talked back to McGonagall that day she was assigning partners and if you hadn’t laughed at it, we never would’ve become what we are.” Your breathing hitched as he spoke. He was right though, just because you were forced to work on the project together doesn’t mean you can’t now be friends. Or more.

“What are we?” you whispered, feeling the cold nip at the unshed tears in your eyes.

Sirius stared into your beautiful eyes, sparkling as the midday sun shined upon them. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself.” He admitted, taking a step closer to you when he realized he was still holding your hand.

You looked down at your hands, Sirius’ fitting perfectly with yours and you felt the warmth spread from his touch. “I have a question for you today.” You whispered as you met his eyes again. Sirius nodded, licking his lips in nerves. “How do you feel about me?”

Sirius didn’t say anything at first. He knew exactly how he felt, but saying it out loud was another thing. He cleared his throat, feeling you squeeze his hand as he squeezed back. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Both of your eyes widened at Sirius’ honesty. He thought you’d let go of his hand, maybe call him out for being crazy but you didn’t. Instead you smiled at him, a bright wide smile that had Sirius’ heart souring. You opened your mouth to speak but stopped yourself, unsure of what to say. “You’re serious?”

“In more than one way.” He joked and you rolled your eyes, well aware of Sirius’ jokes. He brought a hand up to your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Y/N.” he repeated.

“Well, I have news for you, Sirius.” He smiled at you as grabbed his other hand, letting your fingers intertwine. “I’ve fallen for you as well.”

Sirius celebrated, letting go of your hands as he pumped his hands in the air as he remained on cloud nine. You laughed as you watched him, your smile stretching your face before Sirius stopped what he was doing and grabbed your hands fast, scaring you by his sudden moments. “I still have my question.” He beamed.

“Okay?”

Sirius’ eyes flickered down to your lips and you already knew what he wanted to ask. He slowly pulled you closer to him, your bodies pressed together until you could feel Sirius’ breath meeting yours and both of your eyes slowly closed. “Can I kiss you?” He whispered.

You didn’t answer. Instead, you closed the distance between your lips, feeling Sirius move his hand up to cup your cheek, his fingers threading loosely into your head as he deepened the kiss. You were breathless, drowning in the feeling of Sirius and you never wanted to come up for air.

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You hum in response, flashing George a tired smile as he joins you by the mirror. He presses a gentle kiss into the side of your head, straightening his bow tie in the mirror. Every time you see him, your heart skips a beat, reminding you how lucky you are that someone like him loves you. And how little you deserve his affection.

“We don’t have to stay any longer than you want to.”

The ball is in full swing as you arrive, clusters of people gathered round the edges of the hall. A soft glow is cast by the candles hanging just above head height, the polished floorboards glistening gold. Parvati and Lavender, who you hadn’t seen since their wedding, accost you almost immediately, dragging you away from George. You flash him a grimace, eyes crinkling as you let them tug you along.

“How are you?” Padma pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tight and suddenly you remember how much you missed everyone. You’d withdrawn after the Battle, unsure how to cope with the hollow emptiness sucking in any emotions. Then, like an angel sent from above, you bumped into George at the Third-Hand Book Emporium, in a quite literal sense. You’d been scouring the shelves for a limited First Folio edition of Shakespeare’s unperformed play when you’d collided and immediately started apologising. He’d dragged you from whatever hole you’d found yourself in and you couldn’t ever repay him.

“Good, good, and you?”

“All good, I have missed you so much, hun.”

Hermione is the next to greet you, hair pulled back in an elegant updo. You haven’t seen her since the Battle, feeling the flash of pain mirrored in her expression as you remember those you lost. There was something bittersweet in the air, the joyful atmosphere undercut by the sombre grief still so keenly felt. Her arm brushes Ron’s, who is looking dapper in a set of dark robes that are much more fetching than those he wore to the Yule Ball. You tell him as much, with a laugh, and he pulls a face. It’s almost like being back at school, just without the fear of seeing a teacher ready to tell you off for dawdling.

You glance across the room, making eye contact with George, who grins in reply. He’s deep in conversation with his housemates; his being a couple years above had meant that your relationship had only blossomed out of the confines of Hogwarts. He seems enthralled in the conversation, enthused in a way you only saw when he was talking about one of his many passions. You pull yourself away from your thoughts, turning back to the conversation around you.

Seamus and Dean stride over, the former looking smug, although slightly sooty, as Dean rolls his eyes in exasperation. “Sorry we’re late, this one decided that our basement needed to become a bombsite again.”

You lift a hand shyly, shifting from foot to foot. You feel sort of out of place here, amongst people who had clearly seen each other recently, whereas you’d dropped off the map as soon as you could. But before you could let your insecurities overwhelm you, Dean is already pulling you into a hug. Your nose is buried into his shoulder and you relish in the brotherly affection.

“I missed you, squirt.” He ruffles your hair with his knuckles, and you push him off, quickly trying to sort out your updo.

“’M sorry,” you murmur, and he just pulls you in tight again.

As everyone relaxes into the ease of familiarity, the band begins to pick up. The crooning vocals of Myron Wagtail fill the room as couples start to break away from the edges and onto the dance floor. Flowing fabrics swish, their bright colours lifting the atmosphere of the room. You feel a hand clasp loosely onto your wrist and smile up at George, who presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Mind if I steal her away?”

Lavender grins, shooing the two of you away. You start swaying in his arms, letting him lead you as couples twirl and pass you haphazardly. If there was anything that wizards were good at, it was chaos. As you sink into his arms, warmth kindling in your heart, your eyes catch on a familiar figure. Your feet stutter as his brown eyes snare yours.

What the hell was he doing here?

“You alright, darling?” George’s concerned face snaps you away from the confusion brewing within you.

“Yeah, just a bit spaced,” you paused. “I’m just going to pop to the bathroom.”

You break from him, smile dropping as you trudge out the room. You feel exhausted, limbs sagging as you clamber the stairs. Pausing in front of the gilded mirror, you sigh. You look tired, the light striking your features harshly, highlighting the dark bags and puffy skin. People pass you, faceless figures chatting, and you ignore them.

Blaise stares at you, paling as he takes you in. He nods at you, swallowing harshly and you force a smile to keep your face from twisting into a sour grimace.

“Hello Blaise.”

“Y/N.” He’s cautious in his actions, acting as if you were a cornered animal. Still trying to protect you. And the only thing you ever needed protecting from was him. “You’ve changed.”

“Yeah, I’m happier without you,” you bite back, relishing in the hurt flashing across his features. You smile, saccharine sweet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to be getting back to my friends… You know, the kind of people who would defend me against torturers.”

You roll your shoulders back, pursing your lips and turning on your heel.

Blaise watches you stride off, a soft pang tugging at his chest. He winces. He couldn’t blame you, but it still hurt to see you happy without him. He had watched you spinning around the dance floor, in the arms of another man. The familiar giggle had caught his ear and the expression on your face had stopped his breath. He had never seen you look so in love, eyes alit, as you smiled up at someone who wasn’t him.

If someone had told you even a year ago that you'd soon be spending most of your free time in a boy's bedroom, you'd have laughed in their face at the idea. However, you soon realized it was the case, as you spent a lot of time with your best-friend-turned-boyfriend, Peter Parker.

In fact, you spent so much time at his house, May knew you by name after three days and your parents invited Peter over for 'dinner' after four. Your school gossiped about the two of you in the beginning, but you didn't care and neither did Peter. When they noticed how unbothered you both were, they stopped and Flash Thompson's love life became the topic on everybody's lips.

You were currently in his bedroom again, lying with your limbs sprawled out on his bed while he bent himself over his AP chemistry homework. You didn't take AP chemistry, and having finished your own homework half an hour ago, you were now bored and craving his attention.

"Peter..." you whined, dragging out the syllables of his name. "I'm bored. Are you almost done?"

He barely glanced up from the complicated formulas, formulas you couldn't even decipher if you tried.

"Baby, you can go talk to Aunt May if you want. I'm still gonna be busy for a while." Maybe to others that would sound different, but you could hear the smile in his voice and you knew he wanted to spend time with you too.

You wanted to respond, but then you figured he'd be done sooner if you didn't bother him, so you kept yourself busy admiring the birds on his neighbor's roof.

Of course, when they flew off, you fell back into your pit of boredom. Maybe you should go talk to May. You liked his aunt, and it would be more interesting than sitting here with nothing more than your thoughts to entertain you.

God, you loved Peter, but why did you have to pick such a studious boyfriend? Okay, maybe it wasn't a bad thing, as he could help you whenever you didn't understand things, but sometimes you got somewhat clingy moods and you just wanted to spend time with him.

"Peter..." you drawled out, dropping yourself back onto his pillows. "It's only due Monday and I wanna smother you. Why won't you let me smother you?"

"Smother me?" He turned around, his cute, amused grin only amplifying your urge to cuddle him.

"Well, yeah, in love and attention. Oh, and kisses. Don't forget the kisses."

He chuckled at that, running a hand absentmindedly through his brown locks. "Okay. I won't let you smother me because then I won't feel like working, and I have to finish this. Then we can have all weekend for cuddles and 'smothering.'"

"Okay," you sighed. "But please tell me you're almost done. And not your definition of 'almost done,' my definition."

"Yeah, baby, I'll be right there."

True to his word, he slammed his book shut ten minutes later, jumping out of his seat and joining you on the bed.

"Yay!" You made space for him, lifting your head so he could slip his arm underneath. His warmth seeped through his shirt to your back and you snuggled into him.

“God, you’re adorable,” he mumbled.

“No, you are. And you promised me kisses.”

You propped yourself up on his chest so you could look at him. His cheeks were tinted pink, but at least his face didn’t turn into a tomato the way it did when you first kissed him. Although, you had to admit, it was really cute.

“I did, didn’t I?” He hummed, leaning up on his elbows and pressing his lips to yours. “How was that?”

“Well, it’s a great start, but kisses means more than one, Peter.”

Steve ‘stupid head’ Rogers was the utter bane of your existence. It has only been two hours and you already miss his warmth he’d always send your way. He’d softly flirt with you and this certain smile would caress his features any times his eyes would set on you. He’d tease and poke at you but delicate, loving touches would fall onto your hands or thighs that felt like fire on your skin. The two of you would always sit right next to each other during movie nights with bright grins and flustered hands inching towards each other.

You sighed as you hugged your pillow, laying on your bed. A couple of tears had run down your cheeks as you could almost still hear Steve scream that he loved you. However, it was all in the heat of the moment in an argument. He didn’t really mean it, right? You shook your head as you were never really sure. He still kept Peggy’s picture in a locket that was near him at all times. You didn’t necessarily blame him as you know that she was his only connection to his past.

You sniffled and continued to watch your fan move around in circles, staring straight up. You still couldn’t quite believe his words. He had declared those three little words that you have been dying to hear since he melted out of the ice. But your insecurities had still gotten the better of you. Peggy was an amazing, intelligent, and kind person, not to mention a badass person at that. You felt like you couldn’t compare, even though you were just as great.   

You and Steve had just been sent on a mission that Fury strictly made to only track and report. Both of you had a pretty bad habit of engaging when told not to but everyone else was doing other missions. Even though Steve was practically the size of a brick wall, you were the only one’s left that fit the job description. You were assigned to, silently, infiltrate a Hydra ship that contained highly dangerous weapons. There were rumors that Hydra had been planning to steal a bunch of mutants and brainwash them into weapons, which is why Fury made clear it was to only be a track and report mission. You two got onto the quinjet and set it on autopilot, gearing up before arriving.

Eventually, you spotted the large dark blue cargo ship and flipped on the cloaking device so the quinjet would be hidden in case the clouds moved. You then jump into the water, silently hoping your bodies hitting the water with such force wouldn’t be too noisy. You breaststroked your way towards the ship, hands cupping through icy cold water. 

Steve lifts you onto the cargo ship with him not far behind. You then notice two men standing outside on the deck. You grab one of the men from behind and cover his mouth. Immediately, you hit a couple of his pressure points which makes him fall limp to the ground.

Steve silently nods towards you and you see he’s silenced the other guy. You were able to sneak around into the main portion of the boat, feeling the warm air of the air conditioning. Your eyes went wide as you heard soft noises start to become louder and louder. Steve instantly grabbed you and you were stuffed into a small supply closet. 

Your heart was beating too fast, his broad chest pressed softly against yours. Your breathing hitched and your eyes slowly moved up to his face. His head was already down, staring intently at you. You opened your mouth to say something but it quickly closed. Your hands started to move up against his chest and his large hands fit perfectly onto your hips. You leaned in slightly and his eyes were flickering from your eyes to your lips. Your heart was beating right out of your chest and your hands gripped his chest just a bit harder. 

A loud scream made the two of you jump out of your own skin. A flustered expression twisted into his face and the two of you couldn’t bear to look at each other. “Yeah, um, w-we should, uh, go.” He scratched the back of his head. “Y-yeah! Um, yeah we should.” When the coast was clear, you got out of the closet and went searching for a computer to override. 

You walked into the main control area and hurriedly put in a USB to grab any information you could. You were easily able to hack into it as the password wasn’t hard to figure out and you automated it to grab any information you could. Steve stood right behind you, keeping watch on the door. 

You muttered a small “shit” as loud sirens started to sound around the ship, clear Russian poking through the speakers. “Ship has been compromised. Ship has been compromised.” You two take a quick glance, Steve eyes telling you to hurry up and you yelp in glee as it finishes loading all of the documents, taking it out of the computer. You two run out of the control room but your eyes widen as a bunch of Hydra men were waiting with big guns. 

You promptly turn the corner, running as fast as you could right behind Steve until there was a dead end with a steel door. Steve busts it open with ease and you both run inside. Your panting became loud, disrupting the quiet atmosphere. You look around, and a sad whimper escapes your throat.

In the room was a bunch of cages, clearly wired to shock anything that touches the metal bars. In each cage held a small child. Your heart thumped against your chest as you dared to look at some of the children. They had been beaten, bettered, and many were killed. Steve was just about to pull the two of you out of there until you heard crying.

Steve grasped your wrist but you shook your head and inched towards the noise. “Y/n,” he warned but you felt the need to protect this child. You knew what Hydra would do. Hell, Steve knew what they would do to the kid. So leaving them behind wasn’t an option. You slowly walked up to the little girl and crouched in front of her. She sat, curled up in a ball, in the farthest corner of the cell.

You could hear her whimpers but you spoke as softly as you could. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to get you out of here.” The girl was very wary of you at first, not believing a single word you’ve said but then she hears the men trotting up the hall. Steve yells at you to leave but you tried to break the metal bars instead. The little girl stared at you wide-eyed as you screamed at the electric shock the bars were giving you. You were able to break them in pieces, all of the men with very big weapons stood in the middle of the room.

Steve didn’t say a word as the three of you became surrounded. You stand your ground, keeping the girl securely safe right behind you while Steve was groaning at the mess you were all in now. Before you could react, the girl swiftly moves in front of you and freezes all of the men into big ice cubes. Your mouth is agape as their whole bodies were covered in ice, the room becoming slightly colder in temperature.

You all run out of the room and turn the corners of the hallway. Just as you were about to move out of the indoor areas, you were ambushed by two men. They were quick, aiming the gun straight at the little girl. Steve was yelling at the men and charging at them but it seemed like time was slowing. Steve seemed too far away to be able to get them in time. 

You launched your body before the girl, a bullet hitting you right on your shoulder. “No!” Steve screamed, propelling himself on the men. The little girl ran towards you and applied pressure as Steve took care of the men. If you weren’t preoccupied with your bullet wound., you would’ve seen how enraged Steve was.

You were able to get safely back on the quinjet, especially since the little girl had made an ice bridge. Which, you definitely cheered with her. Steve hadn’t muttered a single word. You tried to talk to him but he just sat in the pilot’s seat, staring straight ahead. You sighed and paid your attention to the kid, asking questions the whole ride back while you started to stitch up your wound.

You all eventually got back and landed near the tower. Steve still hadn’t muttered a word but he did help you pack everything up and even guided you off of the quinjet. As you were walking up to the tower, you told some agents to guide her to the medical bay to get her checked out. You were about to follow until Steve roughly grabbed your other arm.

“Steve, what the f-” Steve quickly interrupted you, ferocity lurked between his eyes and his voice boomed through your ears. Your face twisted into concern over his behavior, why would he be so upset? “I cannot believe you. Fury gave us specific orders to track and report.” You sigh, harshly pulling his grip off of your arm. “Steve, she’s just a kid.” He huffed, eyes narrowing towards your figure. “So we have to save every kid from danger all the time?” Your eyebrows furrowed and your head tilted. “I did what I had to do.”

“Did what you had to do? You wouldn’t be hurt if-”

“If what, Steve? I wouldn’t be hurt but I’d let a child die? Did you not see the same things I saw in that prison? She was the only one left. And as far as I’m concerned, I will not just sit there and do nothing when people need help.” There was a long silence, none of you were going to declare another word. Nothing was to be said if you were being honest. You weren’t going to apologize for doing what you thought was right. Steve clicked his tongue, breaking the definite silence. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be on missions anymore. I mean, when I act upon my duties as an agent I’m not reckless and irresponsible.” Steve immediately cringed as the words flew out of his mouth. His expression then turned into a wince as he got a good look at your face. You really wanted to cry at the moment, scream, and yell at the top of your lungs but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 

“So let me get this straight… you can stand up for what you believe in, even if that means becoming a war criminal or a but when I do it I’m immature and stupid?” Air seemed to completely escape Steve’s lungs, he just stood there and didn’t say a word. You were right of course. It wasn’t fair for him to ridicule you for something that he does all the time. It’s literally part of his whole Captain America-y presence is to not follow orders. “You don’t control me. You don’t own me. Please, shut your ignorant righteous mouth like your instances are better than mine.”

His mouth just opens and closes, not finding the right words to say. His eyebrows furrowing in the process but in the end, he says nothing. “Un-fucking-believable.” you muttered under your breath and tried to walk past him. His body collides with yours since he immediately stepped in front of you. 

You open your mouth but he quickly beats you to it. “I love you! Don’t you see-” You pushed him off of you, breaking his sentence. You wanted to slap him for saying that. Love? What part of love is getting mad at another for doing what they thought was right? You couldn’t let him speak to you in such a way. There was no absolute way that he loved you, anyway. You then left to go to the medical bay and hadn’t said a word to him since, which happened three days ago.

A soft knock on your door made you jump and you sighed, rolling out of bed, and opening the door. “Look, Tony, I’m not-” Your stopped mid-sentence, shocked by the man that was standing before you. “Steve.” He looked like an absolute mess. Fresh and old tears were scattered across his cheeks, his nose was red and runny, and his beautiful blonde hair was disheveled all over the place. 

“Can I come in? Please?” You sigh, “Am I going to get lectured?” He immediately shakes his head and tells you that he’s not here for that. You sigh once again and crack open the door a bit, letting him know to follow you inside.

The two of you sat on your bed, sniffles sounding across your bedroom. You only wait for Steve to converse, guessing he’s trying to get the courage to speak to you. His head turns a bit towards you before staring straight ahead. 

“You know, I wasn’t lying earlier when I said that I love you. I am so sorry that I haven’t said it sooner… I-I was afraid. I was afraid that you didn’t like me back and that it was my own intuition.” He pauses to stare back at you, seeing as your fiddling with his fingers. You’re nervously biting your lips and a small smile forms onto Steve’s face. It’s always been a habit of yours to fiddle with your fingers and bite your sweet plump lips. You don’t say a word, so he continues.

“I’m so sorry for yelling at you. You’re completely right, I wasn’t fair to judge you for doing what you believe in. Especially because I do that all the time. Seeing you get shot, right before my eyes, frightened the shit out of me.” He chuckled a bit at you widening your eyes from his cursing. “When I saw you, lying on the floor, I-I didn’t know what to do. If I lost you, well I-I-’d…” His voice breaks down and he’s unable to finish his sentence. “It’s not an excuse, I know. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me, y/n.” He places his hand on top of your leg, his palm facing upwards indicating you to hold his hand. He wanted to know if you could forgive him, to at least be friends again.

 Hope starts to fade out of his darling blue eyes as you state at his calloused hand. After a bit, you still don’t meet his hand and his heart sinks, thinking you don’t return his feelings. He starts to lower his hand off your leg but you snapped your head to look at his face. 

“What about Peggy?” Steve gives you the most perplexed look, wondering why the hell you were talking about a woman from his past, and a woman that’s dead no less. “Peggy?” You nod, voice shaking slightly as you spoke. “You always have her locket with you. You always talk about her and it’s like your whole body radiates with happiness. I-I can’t compete with that! You love Peggy, not me.”

“Oh, y/n.” His hand comes up to caress your cheek, thumb moving side to side so delicately. “The only reason why I have her picture is that it ties me to the 30s. I love Peggy yes but I haven’t been in love with her for a very, very long time but I guess I was still in love with what felt like home. But that’s changed. y/n y/l/n, I’m so helplessly in love with you.” His eyes dazzled, sparkled even as he stared intently into your eyes. Like he had everything right in front of him.

A small smile forms onto his face, looking back at the memories with her. “Even when I would visit her, she’d tease me about you. She could see that every time I talked about you, I would just ‘light up like a Christmas tree’ as she put it.” You just stared up at him, trying to look at any sign of doubt. Luckily, you found none.

“I’ll only forgive you if you let me eat the last of your ice cream.” He grins brilliantly at you, leaning in closer towards your figure. You waste no time and press your lips against his, molding together and loving his cherry tasted lips. You start to pull away, smiling brightly at the pout that Steve pulled onto his face. You finally felt at home, just like he did.

“Say no more, doll.”

~~

-

Rain battered against the glass window panes. The noise had been so soothing that it was impossible for any Hogwarts student to avoid the relaxing sense that lulled them to sleep. Most students were under the rain’s spell the moment their heads hit their pillows. However, Fred Weasley wasn’t most students.

“Psssst! Love!” Fred whispered through the curtains of her four poster bed. “Move over. I can’t sleep?”

Y/N may have been half asleep, but she still moved over. “You couldn’t sleep so you decided to somehow sneak into my dorm?” She whispered with her eyes still closed. “I don’t even want to know how you got in here.”

“Nothing, not even magic could keep me from you, love.” Fred kissed the side of her head before snuggling up to her. “I’d like to love you forever if you would let me.”

“I’d like that very much,” Y/N breathed out after inhaling Fred’s scent – gunpowder and caramel, an odd combination, but one that Y/N melted into every time.

-

Y/N snapped out of the happy memory when someone walked up to her desk, door slamming behind them. She realized that she had pulled Fred’s sweater from her desk and was trying to get every last bit of the fading gunpowder and caramel that rested on the sleeve.

“Are you busy?” George’s soft voice asked. Y/N lifted her head immediately to take in the state of her fiancé’s twin. His eyes were sunken in and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in weeks.

“I’m never too busy for you, Georgie.” Y/N put on the biggest smile she could muster and threw the sweater back into the drawer, hoping that George hadn’t seen her with it. She’d done a pretty good job of convincing everyone else that she was feeling better, even if she wasn’t.

“Want to go get some dinner? Your boss said that you’ve been holed up in here for hours. Yes, your boss sent me a message, so you can’t turn down my offer. I know you haven’t been eating well.” George explained with eyes that bore into her skull. She couldn’t avoid his gaze.

“You don’t have to worry about me George. I’m fine.”

“You’re as fine as our owl Errol after delivering a letter to Charlie in Romania. You’re not fine. Common, let’s go get some food. I could use the company too if that makes you feel any better.” George turned towards the door. “Oh, you should wear his sweater by the way. That was his favorite one to see one you,” he smirked before leaving her office.

Y/N smiled her first real smile in weeks.

-

“Y/N? Love? Have you seen my maroon sweater anywhere? The one I like to wear with my gray shirt?” Fred called out to her, searching every drawer that held his clothes. “Y/N? I’m going to be late to meet George!”

Fred could hear shuffling in the kitchen and digging through the utensil drawer. He left their bedroom to go search the sitting room where he found her sitting on the couch, pint of ice cream in hand and a maroon sweater hanging over her shoulders.

Fred chuckled as he leaned against the doorframe just watching her. “Oh, you meant this sweater?” she asked, mouth full of ice cream.

“Yes, that sweater.”

“And you want it now?” Her eyebrows raised in disappointment. She placed her ice cream on the arm of the couch, sliding the sweater off her arms.

“Actually, I think I can find something else to wear.” Fred made his way over to her, sliding the oversized sweater back into place.

“ORRRR…” Y/N elongated with a mischievous smile, “you could let George go do whatever by himself and wear less,” she finished with a wink before stuffing another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

“You do make a convincing argument,” Fred replied with a hungry look in his eye.

“I think it’s a good idea for George to learn how to get on by himself anyways,” Y/N giggled as Fred started towards her, jumping on top of her with the ice cream forgotten about.

-

“What have you been up to?” Y/N asked George once they finally ducked out of the rain.

“I’ve been in the shop a bit more recently. I’ve started picking up all of the products that Fred had started to design and have had the motivation to finish them. You know how he always would start something and just never finish.” George chuckled at the memory.

“He was like that with everything,” Y/N laughed. “Remember how he only painted half of our apartment. He claimed he wanted to do it without magic and then I found him asleep with paint all over him when I got home. I had to stay up all night finishing!”

“How’s this restaurant?” George asked, stepping in front of a café on Diagon Alley.

Y/N paused and looked up the sign. She’d barely walked this street since she lost him and had been avoiding this restaurant at all costs. George must’ve seen the look in her eyes before he looked up at the name of the restaurant again. “Oh merlin. Y/N, I am so sorry. We can go somewhere else. There are a lot of new restaurants opening up on Diagon Alley recently, we can try one of them!”

Y/N inhaled deeply as she shook her head. “No. This is one of my favorite cafés. Let’s go in. I have to at some point, right?” Y/N led the way through the doors and the soft delicate coloring was just as it was all those months ago.

The hostess led her and George to a table near the front window. She sat down timidly, taking in the ambiance of the restaurant that meant so much to her.

“Good evening!” the waiter smiled as he placed menus in front of the silent pair. “Can I offer you any drinks this evening?”

“I’ll just take a water,” Y/N told him quickly as she felt her brain open the floodgates to the memories.

“Same for me,” George said before turning to Y/N as the waiter walked away. “Are you okay?”

Her breaths quickened as she thought about what day it was. “George, did you know?” she could barely look out. “Did you know that today was the day that we came here…and- and he proposed to me?”

-

“I love this restaurant!” Y/N smiled as Fred opened the door for her. She was in her favorite little sundress and even Fred had dressed up for the occasion. “But, it sure is empty in here tonight. Don’t they usually have a long wait?”

“I may have rented out the whole place…” Fred admitted, taking Y/N’s hand and leading her to the backroom. “I need you to close your eyes though.”

Laughing and shaking her head, Y/N shut her eyes on command. Fred’s strong hands guided her. “Can I open them yet, Freddie?”

“Just give me a second.” His hands let go over hers and Y/N heard him moving around and a little bit of shuffling. Y/N felt her smile grow when she felt the tall boy standing in front of her again. “Okay,” he whispered, “Open your eyes.”

Y/N’s eyes didn’t know where to look first. There were candles and roses and sunflowers all around the room. There was even a magical shimmer that seemed to make all of the lights glitter.

“Fred? What is this?” Y/N gasped, still trying to take everything in.

“Well, I wanted to do something special for you.” Fred had not stopped looking into her eyes the entire time, even though she was looking around the room.

“It’s so unexpected.” Her smile grew bigger and bigger every second they stood there. “Why did you do all of this?”

“Do I need a reason to do something for my beautiful girlfriend?”

Y/N shook her head as she looked towards the floor.

“There is a reason though,” Fred said, pulling her attention back to his face. “Y/N, love. I wanted to ask you something.” Fred slowly sunk to one knee, not taking his eyes off of the girl in front of her.

Y/N felt her breath hitch in her chest. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing, Freddie?” she whispered.

“Y/N?  I could tell you all of the things about you that amaze me and make me fall in love with you every day, but I would rather show you for the rest of our lives. Love, would you marry me? Nothing would make me happier in the world!”

Y/N’s head just started nodding instinctively. She didn’t even need to think about it. Of course she wanted to marry Fred.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, Freddie. Of course I want to marry you!” Y/N got out.

Fred pulled her close to him and kissed her like he never wanted to lose you. “I had a feeling that tonight would be the best night of my life. I never want to be without you and now I don’t have too.”

-

“Y/N? Y/N? Are you okay?” Y/N opened her eyes to see George standing over her.

“What? What happened?” she asked sitting up.

“I think you were having a panic attack and then passed out. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that happened today. I never would have brought you here if I did.” George tried to explain as he helped Y/N into a chair.

“It’s not your fault. I thought I was ready for this. Could we maybe just go home?” Y/N asked softly.

“You still haven’t eaten anything yet though.” George pointed out.

“I’m not hungry.”

“No! No, Y/N.” George put his foot down. “I’m trying to get better as much as you are. I’ve noticed each time at family dinners where you fade off to the background after making small talk for a quarter of the evening. I’ve noticed how you push the food around your plate. You never come around with Lee and I anymore. You’re holed up in your office even though I know you’re barely getting any work done. Fred would hate me if I didn’t worry about you right now. And I want to worry about you!” George raised his voice.

Y/N just looked at him, stunned. Everyone had been so careful around her for months, careful not to hit a nerve. But, perhaps they had been doing that with George too and she just hadn’t noticed.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N. But you were so full of life and just one of my best friends. I feel like I’ve lost you. I’m not asking you to forget him.” George’s voice dropped to a whisper. “But, I am asking you to keep living your life. He would have wanted you too.”

Y/N nodded, understanding how he felt and knowing that he was right about Fred.

“Will you just talk to me? Get some of what you’re feeling out? We don’t have to stay here. We can go to the apartment above the store and get some takeout. How does that sound?”

Not having any response, Y/N just stood up to follow the red head out of the restaurant.

Once in George and Fred’s old flat, George made Y/N get comfortable on the sofa. He handed her blankets, jumpers, really anything that Fred had touched. He couldn’t bring himself to clean the stuff out yet, so it was all where Fred had left it. He was only there on nights when he worked late because he and Y/N moved in together.

“You didn’t have to do all of this, George.”

“Yes I do. You were supposed to be my sister-in-law, meaning that you will always be my sister-in-law, so it’s now my job.”

Y/N couldn’t stop from chuckling at George’s attempts to cheer her up. “Thank you,” she whispered as she opened the take-out food George sat on her lap.

“Anytime, sis. Want to tell me where your head has been?”

“It’s so hard to think about,” Y/N stuttered. She could feel the tears swelling in her eyes at the thought.

“I know it is, but you’ve listened to me and it really does help. Y/N/N, I know that you were right there. You can’t hold it in.”

“I still have nightmares about it. It plagues my every thought. I’m trapped by the memory and every happy memory takes me right back to it, Georgie.” Her words were barely audible over the sounds coming from Diagon Alley.

“Tell me what happened…” George pushed.

Y/N breathed in deeply. The smell of Fred encased her. The scent made her feel a little stronger and more comfortable. “Fine…” she paused before telling her story.

-

Green flashes were going off left and right. Spells could be heard from every direction. More bodies hit the ground each moment, but Y/N couldn’t stop to tend to the fallen. She had to get to Fred.

“Fred? FREDDIE!” she called even though her yells could bring unwanted attention from Death Eaters.

“Over here, love!” he called, a smile still etched on his lips even though he was in the middle of a battle. “This is good fun, isn’t it? Mum would never let us dual properly when we were younger,” he laughed, turning his attention back to the Death Eater in front of him.

“Can we finish this up and get out of here?” Y/N asked as Fred blasted the Death Eater, rendering him unconscious.

“Once I get to blast a few more of You-know-who’s followers. We may never get this chance again!”

Y/N shook her head at how playful her fiancé could be in the midst of a war. Only he could be having fun right now.

“Please come with me now, Freddie?” she pleaded. “We could go elope or something. That would be more fun!” she bargained.

“That sounds bloody brilliant!” Fred responded, shooting a spell past Y/N’s head and hitting a snatcher behind her.

“Thanks for that,” she grinned.

“Anytime, love,” Fred bantered, now close enough to kiss her forehead. “Shall we?”

“Fred! Y/N! Look out!” Percy’s voice came from nowhere. Suddenly a blast so loud shook the whole corridor where the couple was standing. Y/N tried to hold Fred close to her, but he pushed her out of the way, out of the way of the wall that fell where they had been standing.

Y/N’s head shot up the moment she hit the ground. Smoke and rubble was all around her. “Fred? Fred?!” Each time she said his name, there was more and more urgency. Y/N scrambled to pull rocks off of where she had last seen Fred. “No, no, no, no!” she said with each breath.

That’s when she saw his body. She mustered every bit of strength she had to pull him out of the stone. His breaths were shallow and Y/N could see the pain spread across his face. “Don’t worry, Freddie,” she sighed. “You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you, you’re going to be okay. HELP! OVER HERE! SOMEONE HELP ME!” Y/N called to whoever would listen.

“No, no, Y/N. It’s okay. It’s my time apparently.”

“No, Fred! I won’t allow it. We have the rest of our lives, remember?” Fred could see the tears push through the grime that covered her face. How could she still be so beautiful like this?

“I just want you to hold me. Can you just hold me, Y/N/N?” he asked as he shut his eyes. His hands had enough strength to stroke her cheek and hair one more time.

Her sobs took over. She couldn’t hear anything around her. She couldn’t see the protective shields being put up as Ron, Percy, Hermione, and Harry entered the scene. Her whole world was right in front of her. Her whole world shattered the moment Fred took his last breath.

“I won’t let go, I won’t let go of you,” Y/N spoke each word in between her sobs. Ron had to pull her away from Fred’s body as Harry and Percy moved him behind the suite of armor. All of this happened around her and she couldn’t feel any of it.

-

“That- that’s horrible. I didn’t know that all happened,” George broke the silence when she finished speaking.

She couldn’t sob, but the tears streaked down her face uncontrollably. She looked up from the cup of water that somehow wound up in her hands to meet George’s sad eyes. The eyes that looked so much like Fred’s.

“I haven’t told anyone else before,” Y/N sniffled. George moved from the chair to next to her on the couch, putting a protective arm around her shoulders.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“As sad as it was and still is, it was my moment with him. My last moment. I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone. I could just remember him smiling up at me and asking me to hold him like I had asked him so many times before.”

George sat there in silence, just holding his twin’s fiancé. She didn’t know how much she hadn’t needed someone to know what she was going through until her story was heard by George. A weight seemed to be lifted off of her shoulders. She was still sad, but it didn’t feel as heavy anymore.

“I still love him so much, George,” she whispered.

“I know you do. I can still see it in your eyes whenever someone brings him up.”

“I just don’t know how to live without him…”

“Me either, but we will figure it out. He’s not truly gone. We’ll see him again. Mum says this all the time, but it never quite stuck until right now. She always says, ‘we see him in the things that he loved and the things that he used to do, you just have to be willing to look for him.’ That’s why I started working on his inventions again. It makes me closer to him.”

“But, I’m not a prankster like the two of you. Fred and I were always opposites. I don’t have anything like that.”

“Yes, you do,” George assured her. “He loved everything about you. He loved when you picked flowers and arranged them in the kitchen even though he complained about it. He loved when you got in baking moods and made him all sorts of sweets. He purposely half-finished things so that you would help him. I bet if you finished anything that isn’t done yet, you would feel him chuckling behind you.”

Y/N looked to George. “How do you know all of that?” she asked. “I didn’t even know that.”

“He would never shut up about you, but trust me, if you just go back to being you, you’ll feel him because he loved you so much.”

“Thank you, George.”

“Anytime. I’m always here to remind you, just like how you’ve been here for my family. Don’t forget that we all love you nearly as much as he did, so don’t let us lose you too.”

“So that was what the scratching sound was. I thought we had mice,” your voice wavering slightly as you stretched your arms out in front of you.

“Nope no mice doll, just writing,” he chuckled softly.

“We’ve been going out for 6 months and known you for 2 years. I don’t think I have ever seen you writing before.”

“I’m not surprised, you sleep like a log. I normally wait ‘til your asleep doll,” you elbowed him gently and he clutched his arm in mock hurt.

“Hey you know what I’m like if I don’t get my 8 hours.” Bucky rolled his eyes at you and grinned.

“Yeah I learnt that the hard way. I remember trying to get you up for breakfast after one of Tony’s parties, I was actually terrified you were going to murder me,” Bucky couldn’t keep the amusement out of his voice.

“In my defence I was hungover and it was 8 in the morning, to be honest that was entirely your fault,” you yawned and leaned over to snuggle up against Bucky who lifted up his arm to let you get closer.

“What you writing anyway, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“You can ask me whatever you want doll, it’s um-” he scratched his head with the end of the pencil as he tried to find the right word “- a diary I guess, just stuff I don’t want to forget.”

Your brows furrowed together and you tilted your head up to look at him properly. “What do you mean forget?”

A sadness filled his eyes as he looked at you. “Um I know what it’s like not to remember things, if I keep a diary then if, you know the soldier ever got activated then –“ his words tailed off and he sighed heavily, “-it’s like an insurance policy. It took ages for me to remember everything before. There is stuff that’s happened recently that I can’t afford to forget.” There were tears in his eyes now, lips pressed into tight line.

You nuzzled into his chest, arm tightening around his stomach squeezing him gently. He leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head. “You know that’s not going to happen Buck, don’t you? Shuri made sure that would never happen.”

“I just can’t run the risk doll,” he placed another quick kiss and closed his notebook, the pencil marking his the page and put it on the bedside table. “I’m gonna get a drink, you want one?” You untangled yourself from his so he could get off the bed. You smiled and shook your head.

As Bucky expected you were asleep again. He picked up his notepad from where he had left it, gingerly clambered back into bed as to not wake you. After his finished writing his entry for the day he clicked of the lamp and curled himself around your body. Even in your sleep you instinctively moved, pushing your body against him and gripping onto the arm he had thrown over your waist.

Bucky knew he couldn’t live without you. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would ever meet someone like you, that would let him in, treat him as normal person. He had never felt a love like it. Steve cared about him deeply and showed him every day. But you. He didn’t deserve you, the looks of adoration you aimed at him every time he walked into a room. He treasured every second he had ever spent with you even before you were together as a couple.

From the moment he had met you he knew there could never be anyone else. He had resigned himself to being your friend but when you had asked him out he could have exploded with joy. The thought of losing you made his chest tighten but he knew that one day something could come between you, that was part of the reason behind the diaries. He needed evidence that his time with you wasn’t just a dream but something real. Bucky had never imagined himself with a wife or kids or even a proper future until he met you. As he listened to your soft sighs as you slept he knew exactly what he had to do.

xxx

The other side of the bed was empty when you woke. As you stretched out like a starfish your fingers brushed up against a piece of paper. You took hold of it to see Bucky’s distinctive cursive writing on it.  

‘Sorry doll, didn’t want to wake you. Gone on an emergency mission should be back later tonight. Can you do something for me Y/N? (I’m gonna assume you’re going to agree J ) Please open my bedside cabinet?”

Quickly you climbed off the bed and knelt down in front of his bedside table and pulled open the door. Inside there was a small pile of leather-bound notebooks, similar to the one Bucky had been writing in last night. On top of these was another note.

‘These are all my journals from the last couple of years. Please read them and hopefully you will understand. I love you, B xxx”

So that is exactly what you did. You got yourself settled with a cup of tea and some snacks and hid yourself away in yours and Bucky’s room, knowing that it was the best place to avoid interruptions. The oldest of the books were written during Bucky’s time in Wakanda. It detailed the joy of having Steve back, making friends with Shuri and finding some acceptance of what he had been through and the reality of starting over again. He even hinted that birdbrain (Sam) didn’t seem too bad, he appreciated how loyal he had been to Steve and how he had sacrificed his own freedom for him.

When you got to the second book you found yourself reading about the first time you met Bucky.

Wakanda -  August 2018

Steve showed up and said the world is about to end. Surprisingly not the most interesting thing to happen today. A woman showed up with Steve, Y/N. No words would adequately describe her. She’s breath-taking and her smile lit up the room. I can still feel her hand in mine from when she shook me hand. There was no trace of fear when she introduced herself. Maybe she doesn’t know about me. All I know is before she showed up the end of the world didn’t seem too bad but now all I want is a chance to get to know her a little better. Steve better be wrong about tomorrow.

New York -  August 2022

5 years. I’ve lost 5 years of my life but on the upside the world didn’t actually end. Steve looks different; tired and there is a sadness to him. Y/N came and found me, turns out she wasn’t ‘dusted’. She said that the last five years had been awful. The world had changed and tried to move on as no one ever expected the team to succeed. But they hadn’t given up. She looks exactly the same as she did when I met her, which oddly was only yesterday for me but 5 years for her. Even covered in dirt and blood she was still the most beautiful person I have laid eyes on.

We sat and talked for hours whilst Steve was busy with the aftermath. I don’t think I have met anyone so easy to talk to, despite the day that she’d had she still managed to smile and laugh. Even though not much had happened to me in the grand scheme of things, she checked that I was alright and showed little concern for herself. When she left to find somewhere to sleep for the night she promised to catch me up on everything that had happened over the last 75 years. I never planned on re-joining the real world, I was just going to be a recluse and farm in Wakanda. Y/N makes me want more than that, is it possible that I can have a ‘normal’ life. Do I deserve it? All I know is that I haven’t been excited about anything for a long time, probably not since going to Coney Island with Steve. Now I am excited to start living again with Y/N as my guide.

You took a break at this point overwhelmed by what you were feeling. You could remember meeting Bucky for the first time; you had been so nervous. Steve had told you so much about him that you felt like you already knew him. Immediately you had been distracted by his eyes, they were impossibly blue and you could have spent hours looking into them. You had felt an immediate connection with him. But then of course Thanos happened and Bucky was ripped from your life before you even had chance to get to know him. All of the pain and challenges of those five years felt worth it the moment you saw Bucky again. You felt hopeful again. You had never known that he felt exactly the same way so early on.

For the next few hours you poured over Bucky’s journals, each page you turned your heart melting even more. As the diary entries moved on the content shifted. Most of what Bucky wrote was about the time he spent with you as you reintroduced him to the modern world. He outlined the moments where he realised he wanted more that friendship with you, the moments he started falling more and more in love with you. The first time you watched a film with him, the first time you ate lunch together, the first time you hugged him, your first date, your first kiss, the first time you admitted you loved each other. Each first was described in such detail you could see it all from his perspective. You had never felt so loved or in love with him. To anyone else this may seem a little obsessive or creepy but to you it made perfect sense. Bucky was afraid that one day he wouldn’t have his memories anymore, the thought of forgetting all the time he had spent with you terrified him. So, he wrote it all down to preserve it, that way he couldn’t forget everything, forget you.  

The fourth journal was the most recent. Bucky last entry was clearly the one he had started last night; the writing stopping midway through a sentence when you had clearly woken up and interrupted him. You flopped back onto the bed, your head landing on Bucky’s pillow, his diary clutched to your chest. Inhaling you took in that scent that was distinctly Bucky, a serene calmness washing over you. You weren’t sure why you did it but you turned to the next page. There was some writing there. Maybe Bucky had missed a page a while ago? You moved the page closer to your face so you could read it better. It was dated with today’s date.

Today is the day. I can’t wait any longer. You are the reason I still exist, you’re my everything. I realise that until I had you in my life I wasn’t living, simply existing. There is nothing in this world that I value more than the time we have spent together. The memories I have with you, are the best memories I have. With this in mind there’s one more thing I need to ask you to do doll.

Your eyes blurred with tears as you read the next line. Climbing off the bed, you quickly freshened up in the bathroom, pulled on some proper clothes and grabbed you bag before heading out the door. Bucky’s diary abandoned on the bed, open the last page he had written on.

xxx

Bucky headed straight for your room when he got back. He realised he had missed his time frame with it just having crept past midnight. This meant that you were likely in your room, curled up fast asleep in one of his t-shirts. He opened the door and noticed the light on, his diaries on the bed but worryingly you weren’t there. He glanced on the page that his diary had been left open and and immediately felt a wave of nausea. 

“FRIDAY, where is Y/N?” he said quietly.

“Miss Y/N is on the roof terrace Sargent Barnes.” He was already out of the door as FRIDAY finished her response.

He pushed open the doors and immediately spotted you leaning against the railings looking out over the city. Bucky’s heart was in his throat but as you turned and smiled at him, he felt instantly relieved.

“You’re late,” you teased.

Bucky covered the distance between you in a couple of long steps and went to wrap his arms around you but you stepped away. “Doll, come on. I missed you,” he pouted.

“I know, I missed you too but I have something to give you first,” you pulled the small leather-bound book out of the pocket of your trench coat and offered it to Bucky.

He took the book from your hand and inspected it with a look of utter confusion. “Doll isn’t this one of my books?”

“Nope, it’s new. I went out and bought it today,” you rolled your eyes at him. “Why don’t you open it?”

On the inside cover her spotted an inscription.  

To the love of my life,

From the first day I met you I knew I wanted to be in your life, whether that was as a friend, a lover or even a wife. Don’t ask me how I knew back then, maybe I didn’t, but every minute I spend with you just affirms what I know with all my heart. I can’t live without you James Barnes. I will spend every day showing you that because you are the best man I know. Today is the day you asked me to marry you and today is the day I say yes.

This book is for you to write down our memories, the ones created as husband and wife. Love always Y/N xxx

“Not factually correct anymore as you’re late,” you wiped away the tears that had slipped from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his own tears falling and his signature lopsided grin plastered to his face. “Doll, do you mean it?”

“Yes Bucky, I want to marry you. I’ve loved you for years, but reading your diaries-“ you sniffed as your emotions started to overwhelm you. “I love you, you’re –“ Your words were cut off when Bucky swept you up in his arms and swung you around, all the while peppering your face with butterfly kisses.

He finally put you down, one hand cupping your cheek and tilting your head up so that your watery eyes met his. “I love you. You’re my everything. I know I should have got on one knee and had a ring but I just couldn’t wait,” he was rambling now. “Shit, I shouldn’t have asked you by writing the question in a diary. I’m so-“

You stood up on your tiptoes and crashed you lips to his in an attempt to shut him up.

“Buck, it was perfect ok? I don’t care about a ring or a fancy proposal. I’m yours. I don’t need a piece of jewellery to know that. Plus, your way was a lot more romantic” He leaned his forehead against yours and sighed. “But, if it makes you feel better then ask me again,” you grinned.

He pulled away, placed the notebook carefully on the floor and got on one knee. “Y/N will you-“

“Yes” you blurted out. Bucky shook his head.

“You’re supposed to let me finish the question,” he chuckled. You mouthed sorry at him and pretended to zip up your lips.

“Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Easiest question I have ever been asked. Yes, I will marry you Bucky Barnes.”

As soon as he stood again his mouth was on yours, his hands lightly gripping the side of your face keeping you close. Instinctively your hand went up to rest on his chest as you sighed into the kiss. His lips were soft, and gentle. There was no sense urgency in the way your lips moved against each other’s. There was no need. You had all the time in the world.

Taglist is open so let me know if you want in or out

You groan, muttering a soft ‘no,’ before closing your eyes again. 

“C’mon babe. Or I’ll tickle you.” Sebastian whispers playfully, his hand sliding to your side where he knows it bothers you most. “Okay! Okay, I’ll get up.” 

He watches as you roll out of bed, your hair a tangled mess as you walk towards the bathroom muttering, “I still don’t forgive you.” 

“You will,” he whispers, smiling to himself.

An hour and a half later you're sitting in Sebastian’s black 68 fastback Mustang. Your makeup and hair is as perfect as you could get it and you’re wearing your favorite dress; Maroon with white and light pink flowers on it, thin straps across your shoulders. It hugs your curves perfectly, the hem hitting halfway up your thigh, paired with matching maroon heels. You don’t dress up often but Sebastian insisted, saying you would see why later. Not that you could see anything thanks to the blindfold he asked you to wear. 

“Is all of this really necessary?” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest and attempting to glare at him through the blindfold.

“Would you stop questioning everything I do?” He chuckles, glancing over at you. 

“Everything you do is questionable!” you say, laughing. 

You can practically hear his pout. “Not everything.” 

“Oh, of course, there was that one time,” you snark, smirking.

You don’t have to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes and smiling at your sass. 

Several minutes later you feel the car roll to a stop but you have no clue where you are. 

“Stay there, babe,” Sebastian says, getting out after taking the keys out of the ignition. A few moments later you hear your door open and Sebastian helps you out carefully. You chuckle as he guides you gently; one hand resting on your lower back and the other on your forearm. “Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see soon, sweetheart.”

“That’s not a real answer.” You pout, making him laugh, but he still doesn’t answer.

You feel grass tickle your ankles for a moment and then the dull thud of your shoes hitting… wood? “Sebastian- where are we going?” you ask again, your eyebrows drawing together. 

“Hang on. Stand rigghht- there,” He says, guiding you where he wants you before moving away. 

“Sebastian?” You reach out, trying to grasp him but finding nothing, the only sound is the soft wind rustling through the spring leaves.

A little worried now, you ask, "Where are you?" 

You jump slightly when you hear his voice not far in front of you; "Now you can take it off."

Peeling off the blindfold, you gasp, your hands flying to cover your mouth in surprise as you take in the scene before you; Your standing on a dock overlooking a gorgeous lake with Sebastian down on one knee in front of you, a box open in his hands and a glittering ring staring back at you from inside it.

"Seb…"

"Don't say anything. Let me talk, okay?"

You nod your head mutely, tears pricking your eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he looks at you intently. “I didn’t love you the first time I saw you… I didn’t trip over my words when I first talked to you, my heart didn’t beat faster the first time I heard you laugh, I didn’t have you on my mind every minute after the first day we spent together- I fell in love with you little by little, day by day. I slowly fell in love with your smile, and your laugh gradually became my favorite sound. I didn’t topple head over heels the first time I heard you speak, but I grew to love the gentle tone of your voice. I was pulled in by the different sides of your personality; How gently you talked to kids, how fiercely you defended your friends and how passionately you talked about the things you love. I love how messy your hair is on Sunday morning and how outgoing and wild you can be on Friday night. I didn’t love you until I saw every side of you, and now that I’ve seen every side of you, I can’t imagine a day without you. I love you. Will you marry me?”

“Sebastian…” You trial off, unable to speak. 

“Well please don’t say no, I put a lot of work into that,” He whispers; His words are light but there’s an underlying pleading tone- Like he almost expects you to say no.

“Of course I’ll marry you! Nothing would make me happier.” You're glowing as he slips the ring onto your hand before standing to pull you into a giant hug; Picking you up and spinning around. 

Setting you down, he loops his arms around your waist, his forehead resting on yours while your arms circle his neck. 

“That’s why I was out so late last night- I was getting Anthony to help me pick a place,” he confesses quietly, looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, I wanted to be home bu-”

Sighing, you pull him closer, pressing your lips gently but fervently against his, silencing his apology.

Pulling away after what felt like only a second, you rest your forehead on his again, enjoying the moment.

“WHOO!!” Someone yells from behind you and you whip around to see none other than Anthony with a video camera in his hands, dancing around like a mad man. “They’re getting married! They’re getting married!” He yells excitedly at the top of his voice, probably scaring any nearby strangers half to death. You both burst out laughing before practically being tackled by Anthony’s bear hug. “So, I’m gonna be the best man, right?”

-------------------------------

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