#lee!me

I had decided to go to a haunted house for the first time, but I went alone for the most immersive experience. When I got there I was immediately in the frightful spirit.

It was a little dark but there were colorful lights illuminating my path. There were cobwebs and caution tape strung across the walls, along with the staff, of course, that were dressed as zombies, ghosts, killer clowns and I think I even saw Micheal Myers at one point.

There would be pop out decorations, props that said ‘do not enter’, ‘turn around’ or ‘you’re gunna die’, and the aforementioned staff would be holding all sorts of prop murder weapons and tools.

Along with that, there were also different rooms that had different scenes played out in them.

So like one room would have a few of the staff having a tea party, in another room there would be a ritual and some others were just plain ‘ol’ torture rooms.

As I walked down the hallway of terrors, this one staff member dressed as a gothic serial killer clown jumped out from a door on my right and tried to scare me.

I jumped in shock “AH- God!” I yelled. He then started to recite the script that all the scarers have at haunted houses: “Ooh~ did I scare ya? You should be scared… what’s a little guy like you doin’ around here?”

I gave him an unamused glare. “Really? That’s the best you got?” He stared at me annoyed. “Well, yeah… I really thought that would work.” He said slumping in faux defeat.

I laughed a little and saw this as an opportunity to pull something. “Well you’re gunna have to think of something better then that to scare me!” I then grabbed his fake machete and ran.

“Wha- Hey! You little!” I was being chased by a killer clown in a haunted house on a random Wednesday evening. What a life…

As I ran from the now agitated clown, I saw an open door to a random room and ran inside. Only to be met with walls covered in knives, tables with sharp tools and many different holding chambers and torture machines. I. Was. F**ked to say the least…

Everyone in there turned to look at me and started grinning and getting out of their seats, with evil hungry eyes. Ngl these were some very believable actors/staff.

I saw one of the guys there had a ghostly clown outfit. I walked over to him and asked to borrow it. He gave it to me just in time, cause then in comes the aforementioned clown guy.

He then stalks over to me. “There you are…” he says in a low menacing tone. I immediately shrivel up into a ball as he’s now basically on top of me. “H-hi…” I wave.

He then takes the costume off, picks me up and puts me in this weird holding contraption. There’s 2 plates a little bigger than my head on either side of it, and a longer skinnier one on the back side of my head, with a beam connecting it the floor.

I start panicking and curl in on myself to protect from whatever fake torture they plan to inflict on me. “Hey! Arms up.” He says looking down at my nervous body.

“O-ok…” I then put my arms up and on the plates next to my head, just so my elbows are resting on the top. Also, I’m wearing a short sleeve tee. Why is that important? We’ll get to that.

He then walked over to a table and picked up this weird electronic wire system, and put it around my upper arms just above my armpit. As he was doing so I was trying not to laugh, and was squirming around a bit.

He then called over one of the other staff members, who surprisingly wasn’t dressed in Halloween attire. When he came over the clown said “I’ve decided you deserve the ____ special~ just for you.” I couldn’t quite make out what he said for some reason though.

The new guy came over, picked up another wire thing and proceeded to strap it to my right arm this time. For some reason my right side was worse then my left, cause when he did it I let out some stifled giggles.

He noticed this though. “Wait… I wanna test something.” He then started skittering his fingers in my right armpit. I broke.

I was squirming like it was nobodies business, and the noises I was making made my face red with embarrassment. He smirked when he saw this. “Looks like we’re gunna keep that shirt up after all.”

He then rakes my shirt up and holds it in his right hand. Why they were gunna do that anyway before they even learned this newfound bit of information is beyond me. But I digress.

“Hey! ____! Can I get a knife?” He yelled at the killer clown from before. I, hearing this, freaked out. I knew it wasn’t gunna be real knife, but I was still worried. What does he need THAT for??

“Yeah, hold on!” The clown shouted back. He came over with a clearly plastic spirit Halloween knife. “This is all we got.” The other guy glared at him. “Really?” He asked sarcastically. “Ay! Take it or leave it!” He took the knife out of the clowns hands with a fake growl.

He then firmly but gently jabbed the knife into my stomach. Which resulted in me making a noise, that could only be described by tickle fic writers as “ACK-“.

Then he slowly started to glide the knife down the length of my stomach, as if making an incision. “EE!- Hehee…” a gentle stream of giggles poured from my mouth.

After he was done making the ‘cut’ in my stomach, he started to dig and scratch on either side of where he had drag the knife down. As if to start “scooping out organs like a surgeon”.

“HEHEHEEheehehaha!! IhehehEEEE- I CAHAhanNNHNTT!!” I tried to pull my arms down, but just when the plates were at my wrists, I felt something clamp and tighten around them.

Now stuck, I go into fight or flight mode, and immediately, my first thought is fight. So I try my best to hoist myself up by grabbing what I can of the plates, and hug my knees to my chest to either A: protect my stomach from the tickling onslaught. Or B: kick him when all else fails.

So I proceed to go with option B and start kicking him away. But just as I’m doing so he then grabs my right ankle… oh god-

He then takes off my shoe and sock with ease. -curse me for wearing my slip off sketchers- Then, in the mist of my protests, he starts raking, scratching, poking, jabbing, fluttering and tickling my right foot to oblivion.

I’m now wheezing and half belly laughing to the point of slight dizziness. At one point he takes my other foot too and starts going off on that one. So now I’m full on silent laughing, whaling, cackling and possibly crying a little.

And it’s the best feeling. Ever… I haven’t felt this care free and happy in awhile. Don’t get me wrong, there’s stuff in my day to day that gets me happy.

But this. This is the serotonin, dopamine and silly goofy boost I needed, and I’m enjoying every second of it.