For me It started when I opened my eyes.

Terrified of the noises and bright lights

Welcomed into the world by arms opened wide

But what did the doctor say when

He pulled you aside?

Something about being a father

And you decided to hide

Everyone questioned where you had gone

When you left me alone with my sister and mom

They had no idea, no clue where you’d be

They didn’t even mention how you left me

All alone in a crib

With not much to give

I cried and I cried

And threw little fits

But because you were gone

I didn’t understand

When mom would leave too

Sister holding my hand

But while you were gone for a year and a day

Remembering me,

You had nothing to say

Every line spoke just to get out of the way

What I thought would be good

You just threw away.

Every time I tried to call you dad

You just laughed Like i wasn’t sad

I would smile up at you

But you’d just spit back

I held in my angst and all of my tears

For my whole life with you

All of 14 years.

But then mom said

Hey come stay with me

He doesn’t deserve to make you unhappy

I’ll hold you close

Like he never did

I’ll fight for your life

You’re my daughter, my kid. 

As long as I live

I’ll see to it you do too

I’m sorry for leaving,

I still love you.

I looked for you dad, but I had no clue who you were

I couldn’t even place a face anymore.

I continued to ponder what life would be like

If you hadn’t left me, if you were still by my side

Now that I’ve graduated I’ve simply moved on

I couldn’t imagine where my life would have gone

If I had stayed looking for the relationship I’ve wanted for so long.

And even through trials and all the dark days

I miss you enough for it to get in the way

Social media tells and private messages await

But I can’t picture you in a setting so great.

But you left me so young

So vulnerable and dull.

I had lost all my faith and my heart took a toll

I’m moving on life isn’t built on regrets.

Though it’s hard to understand life on a lost bet.

I miss you dad, yes, every chance that I get.