People really need to let go of their anger. It doesn't help you to carry all that around. It is so much better to let it out and talk about: A)What is bothering you and why; B) The people/person causing your anger and how they are involved; and C) Ways in which yourself and others can prevent the anger from coming.
For the first part, finding what is bothering you and what is causing all the anger, sometimes you have to look deeper than just the current situation and find the recurring themes.
If your dog just walks by you and looks at you hoping you would take him out to the potty as he walks away and you never looked up and the dog goes to the bathroom in the middle of your kitchen (or even worse on your bed!) and you get angry at him, was it his fault or your's?
Now if that same dog has to go to the bathroom and he stands by the door and barks at you and you tell him to be quiet so he comes up to you and nuzzles on your leg and you push him away then he goes to the bathroom inside by the door and you get angry at him, was it really the dogs fault? Or did the dog try to let you know his needs and you just didn't understand?
Both situations you could rightfully be upset but in situation 1 the dog clearly had no training or care really as to how to communicate his needs. Situation 2 however the dog clearly tried 2 different ways to get across his need and couldn't make it work. Though you may be angry that the dog then went inside anyway but how long can you hold your bladder?
Just like that dog, unless you can communicate your needs and accept others communication of their needs, you cannot get a clear picture of what is going on and address the true problem. Dog 1 clearly needed a bit of training as to how to let human 1 know his needs. Human 2 on the other hand needed to stop, take a step back from their own world, and listen to the needs of dog 2.
For the second part, the people/person causing your anger and how they are involved, we will refer back to our earlier situations. both situations human and dog were involved but how?
Dog needed something and instead of communicating it effectively he expressed himself negatively (peeing anywhere in the house). If this is the first incident, then a little bit of anger may be okay but followed up with a lot of training and positive reinforcements. If this was not the first incident and it had been something you both were actively working on, progressive levels of anger/frustration may be appropriate to an extent. in the end the behavior needs to be trained out.
Dog made efforts to express himself positively, Human ignored all requests. Maybe the dog was not going about communicating his needs but how many different ways does a dog have to communicate to a human "hey I gotta pee!" Ultimately dog 2 must express himself however he can, in this case relieve his bladder by the door while he waited as long as he could for human. The anger there should not be with the dog but with the human for not listening to the dog or seeing the signs.
For the last part, finding ways in which yourself and others can prevent the anger from coming, again we will look back at our human/dog pair.
Situation 1 requires work of both the human and the dog. The human needs to teach the dog how to communicate effectively that he needs to go outside and the dog needs to be able to understand the information the human is giving. If that exchange never happens, human will always be angry and dog will never know why.
Situation 2 requires the attention of the human more than the dog. The dog may not know exactly how to communicate but he is at least trying. If the human does not understand what the dog is trying to convey or is too busy to tend to the dog's needs, there will continue to be an angry human and a dog with a bladder infection from holding it at the door too long. They need to both work together to find a way to communicate effectively as to their needs.
Once you are able to sit with all the information from those questions, and i'm sure there are more, you should be able to release your anger and move on to working on your part. If you continue to carry around all that anger and frustration, it will make it hard to accept and enjoy in the changes of life.
If you were perfect you'd probably be dead, for there is no point in being on this earth if not to grow. Yes anger is a part of life, but do not let it consume every fiber of your being! let it out and let the wind carry it away bringing in a new light to show you peace.
Thanks for reading, your questions, comments, concerns, as always, are greatly appreciated!
