Some of Us Werenât Taught to Plan
I didnât grow up making plans. I didnât have a five-year vision, or even a one-year one. I wasnât the kind of student who studied weeks before an exam or prepared outlines for my papers. I listened in class, sureâbut I crammed the night before. I showed up. I got by. I did what I had to do.
Even when I applied to colleges, I just picked courses that sounded interesting: communication, linguistics, journalism, nursing, computer science, interior design. It was like I was throwing darts. I didnât know what I wanted. I didnât know how to want something like that.
Because planning wasnât something we did growing up. It wasnât a skill I was taught, or something modeled to me. We didnât talk about âthe future.â We focused on getting through the day.
My mom did everything she could for us. She carried the weight of our family on her backâsacrificing time with her own children so she could work abroad and provide. She loved us in the hardest way: from far away. While she was away, my brother and I were raised by our grandparents and aunts. They cared for us deeply, but dreams and long-term plans werenât part of the conversation.
So when people say things like âjust go for itâ or âmake a plan and follow your passionââI freeze. Because some of us didnât grow up with the privilege of knowing how to do that.
Some of us were busy surviving. Some of us were winging it from the beginning. And weâre still figuring it out.
If youâve ever felt behind because you didnât have a plan, if youâve ever been shamed for not knowing what you wanted at 18, or 25, or 35â
Please know this: You are not broken. You are not lazy. You just didnât have the same tools.
But youâre here now. And every tiny decision you make, every step forwardâno matter how unsureâis still progress.
You donât have to have it all figured out. Youâre allowed to grow at your own pace. Youâre allowed to learn dreaming now, even if no one taught you how before.
Youâre not behind. Youâre just beginning.
And thatâs powerful too.











