#ldwrites

Cassian’s arms curled reflexively around his mate as she stirred in his embrace. He nuzzled into the waves of her hair cascading between them and inhaled deeply, memorizing her scent before it hopefully changed. Nesta turned to face him, fitting herself tighter against his body as she wrapped her arms beneath his wings. For a few blissful minutes, they continued to hold each other, basking in their shared warmth in a pile of limbs and long hair that never ceased to find a way to tangle. 

Before the morning could continue in the way they were wont to do, especially with their new frenzy-like state, Cassian felt a slightly annoyed talon down his mental shield. Letting him in, Cassian spoke before Rhysand could get in a word. “I haven’t forgotten about breakfast…just give me 5 more minutes dad .” 

Looking up, Nesta noticed the glazed look in Cassian’s eyes as he spoke to his brother. “Do you have to go?” she asked, curling tighter against him, despite knowing the answer before he spoke.

“It’s time for the post mortem brunch,” Cassian said with slight exasperation, although he couldn't deny his curiosity about Azriel’s situation. 

She groaned and rolled out of his hold and started to prepare for her own day.

“How much are you going to tell them this time?” Nesta stood at the edge of the bed, legs still slightly unsteady after how many rounds they’d gone throughout the night. Cassian rolled onto his side, resting his smug face on his hand with his elbow propped on the bed. “Well Nes, you’ve gotta tell me your boundaries there, because I’m ready to tell them everything, which you know very well by now.” 

Nesta sighed, pulling on her favorite gray dress for the day. As she moved, Cassian watched. He was constantly amazed at her body, the strength and poise she carried herself with. It was even more remarkable to watch with the knowledge he’d bent her in half more than once the night before, pounding into her relentlessly well into the night. 

Nesta felt her sister approach her mind, and opened a small antechamber for them to talk. They’d started doing this more frequently, growing closer as they continued to open up to each other. I’m not sure what Cassian has told you, but Rhysand and I are already here. He’s so worked up about talking to Azriel this morning he barely let me sleep past dawn. 

Nesta allowed a small smirk to cross her lips as she responded to her sister. Did you get any sleep then, sister? 

I still probably got more than you two. It absolutely reeks in here. 

With that comment, Nesta laughed out loud as she made her way over to the mirror, unknotting her tangled hair from the night before as she talked to her sister. 

That’s what you get for coming over to the House at the crack of dawn the morning after we all  planned a sex marathon. You knew what we were going to do just as much as I know what you were up to.

Any luck yet? Feyre’s voice in her mind was hopeful, eager to check on their previous plans Nesta turned and looked over her shoulder at her mate, who was laying on the bed watching her dress with his head resting on his palm propped up on an elbow. A concerned, imploring look played across his face as he took in Nesta’s sudden change from joviality to caution. He propped himself up completely on his arms, but not fully sitting. He paused as if he wanted to move toward her in protection, but kept himself back.

I don’t think so. Cassian keeps smelling me. He thinks he’s subtle about it, but you and I both know the poor male doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body. He didn’t react this morning, but it may still be too early to tell.

Nesta could feel her sister’s wordless support in her mind, thoughts of hope and trepidation lingering after she shared that last thought. This journey had brought them both closer together, and she was eternally grateful that with all they’d lived through, they would get the chance to share this process. She reached out to her sister once more, any luck on your end?

Nothing yet, Rhys is already restless. It took us longer than this for Nyx. I never realized how impatient he could be! Feyre sent that last comment to Nesta jokingly, almost as if that last bit of their conversation had been shared with the High Lord as well. As if on cue, Rhysand knocked on Nesta’s already open mental shield asking for permission to join the females. 

Afraid of missing out on something important, love? Feyre asked Rhys from the antechamber of Nesta’s mind, and the two began to playfully snipe at each other while she listened.

As they joked, Nesta’s shoulders relaxed and she let out a small chuckle. Cassian finally sat up fully in the bed, grabbing at Nesta’s waist as she walked by to go join her sister and brother-in-law. With a raised eyebrow, Cassian squeezed her waist and looked up, face a tailored expression of faux sadness. “Mind letting me in on the conversation you three are having without me, or am I just going to be kept in the dark?” 

Nesta looked down at her mate, taking in his teasing smile as she grasped his face between her hands, rubbing her thumb across the stubble that perpetually peppered his firm jaw. Thankfully their sheet still lay draped over his toned thighs, and her favorite bit between them, or Nesta may have been further waylaid. Instead, she felt a smirk spread across her face as she responded to her very distracting mate.

“Maybe you could join the conversation yourself if you were actually ready for breakfast. Rhys and Feyre are already here waiting. Apparently he’s quite anxious to talk to Az this morning.”

Cassian’s posture straightened at the reminder of the revelations brought to light during last night's game about his brother and his brother’s red haired High Lord of a mate. In a blink, he’d released Nesta’s waist, leaving her slightly off balance, and began to rush around to get dressed for the day. “Tell them I'm on my way,” he said as he wrestled his way into a pair of pants.

Nesta did so, but instead of words, she allowed Rhysand and Feyre to watch Cassian through her eyes as he hopped around on one foot, trying to put on his shoe and nearly falling over in the process. They didn’t need the mind connection to hear Feyre’s laughter echoing down the corridor. Moments later, Nesta and Cassian joined Rhys and Feyre where they waited on the balcony by the main dining area. 

Feyre already had a cup of tea in her hands, while Rhys paced, agitation evident in every move of his body. His wings twitched as Cassian approached. “Good morning, Nesta,” Rhysand said, inclining his head toward her as she walked in before turning abruptly to his brother.  “Cassian, you ass. I’ve been waiting for you.” His snide, yet affectionate comment barely hid the unease Rhys had in anticipation of the brunch conversations that would occur with Azriel. 

“Rhys, breakfast doesn’t start for another hour. Why are you here so early?” Cassian spoke with slight exasperation laced with genuine confusion. 

Rhysand rolled his eyes, running down a mental list of all the things he thought were obvious that had gone right over Cassian’s head.  “We need to talk before Azriel arrives. He’s mated to another High Lord. What does that mean Cassian? I mean, what am I supposed to DO?” 

Feyre met Nesta’s eyes behind her mate’s back, raising her eyebrows pointedly as if to say, ‘you see what I have to deal with?’ before she spoke into her sister's mind. He’s been like this all morning. Mother save Azriel from this breakfast…

genre: psychological, crime, mystery, romance

themes & tropes: nature vs. nurture, familial relationships (and the generational trauma that come with them), the illusion of choice, small town vs. vast city, morally gray characters, sun & moon couple, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, murder gays 💜

(some) characters: Mal (the protag; the sad, troubled, tragic, pathetic, perpetually pining gay), Gabe (the caring, gentle sweetness posing as a cold and entitled smartass), Lu (the long-suffering younger sister, the one forced into independence), Carmen (the Mother, everything’s always about her), Olivia (the ruthless, relentless teen), Kai (the overeager energizer bunny with a big fat crush on-), Michael (the loner nerd rich boy)

status: currently writing draft 1 (it’s gonna be a long one, folks)

warnings: lots of swearing, blood, gore, death, attempted suicide, abuse, kidnapping, amnesia, mentions of SA

more details and links on WIP page

This is my baby and my pride and joy, the story that made me want to be a writer 5 centuries ago. It’s been through many iterations and I’ve never actually finished it, but Mal won’t release my mind to do other stuff until I get him to the finish line this time, so whatever he wants he gets.

The places I’ve been, people I’ve met, and stories I’ve heard from them or even experienced myself make up about 80% of this story. The other 20% is just a nice padding of murder and requited love to make everything worse for Mal and more fun for the reader.

In the following weeks I’ll be posting some character profiles and playlists, snippets and other stuff~ If any of this piques your interest and you want to stay updated on my progress and this story, let me know and I’ll make a proper taglist!

Lisa Hannigan - Sea Song

Alessia Cara - Here

WOODZ feat. MOON - Touché

The Cure - Lovesong

Muse - Uno

Two Feet - Fire In My Head

Digital Daggers - Fear the Fever

Nothing But Thieves - Your Blood

Muse - Hysteria

Kerli - Love Is Dead

Metallica - Until It Sleeps

The Neighbourhood - Daddy Issues

Mansionair - Easier

The Neighbourhood - Void

Evanescence - Hello