I just need $500 to magically appear in my bank account. 😓😫 I hate being a full grown adult

I grew up in a rented hoarders house that was rotting and mouldy and I lived there for eleven years until my parents gained enough knowledge of how to use and spend their money responsibly they got us out of there and now we live in a very nice house in a middle-class area and we have money to heat the place and eat well and go to clubs and all that sort of thing because their problem was never that they didn't have enough money it was that they spent it all on things they shouldn't have like alcohol and boxes and wallpaper they never used and the ridiculous prices our landlord set for minor repairs my dad could've done himself. And now I live in this disconnect between the shitty place I used to live and the place I do now because yes, my house is good and warm and we're mostly happy here even though my parents go into overdraft every August because my dad likes going to festivals, but it didn't use to be. Yes I'm privileged now but I didn't use to be. And I was always raised with a feeling of shame around money, the presence or absence of it, so I don't like bringing people to my house and showing we have that money now because I know just how quickly it could be taken away. One missed paycheck and we're back to that old terraced house with black mould in the corner of my bedroom. And I know I'm lucky to live the way I do but god does it feel weird to know that now

Window shopping is so fun to me like yes show me all the things I could have if I didn’t need to buy food and water