#la espirita

Captain America: In a nutshell, then, at one time or another, each and every one of you has been an Avenger. Some for a long time, some for only a very short while... As chairman of the East Coast branch of the team, what I want to propose to you is this: a permanent consolidation of all members. The Avengers are the Avengers. Not two teams. Not three. One team. Everyone who has ever been an Avenger, will always be an Avenger. A member of a pool of super-powered individuals whose abilities add up to an unstoppable force for good."

Huh!

Every Avenger Ever but as the central premise for a creative run!

Hence the pretty packed roster box on the cover.

I have no idea how a roster like this is going to work.

But the assembled once and future Avengers all chime in their thoughts.

Reed and Sue Fantastic say the idea sounds fantastic. Literally. It sounds like the reasoning that led to the Fantastic Four's founding.

But even though Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman are back with the Fantastic Four, if Cap needs them, they'll come.

Ben "Not Currently the Thing" Grimm also offers his aid.

Bee tee dubs, his five second stint with the West Coast Avengers is why he's here, at this meeting.

Beast echoes the various Fantastics. He's busy with X-Factor but if the Avengers need him, he'll be there.

Every Avenger Ever Available As Needed is a fun idea but I can't help but see it running into creator squabbles.

Is Steve Englehart just going to happily lend out his characters to Byrne whenever he wants to use them?

I mean, at the end of the day, editorial can force the issue. But I see it being an issue. Comic creators are territorial.

Further people chime in.

Hellcat says she'll be available if the Avengers need her but Tigra scoffs.

Tigra: "Why would any team need a two-bit imitation when they've got the genuine article?"

I thought you two hashed out your differences. And I also thought you were some weird cat monster at the moment.

What's the deal, Tigra?

The two cat-themed heroes almost have a catfight but various dudes break it up.

Captain America scolds that as Avengers, they need to settle their differences with "due order and dignity" which is surely ironic in the future, after several slap fights with Tony.

Tigra reluctantly reigns it in, although she promises that things between her and Patsy aren't over yet.

Back to people chiming in.

Monica Rambeau offers any assistance she can. But she's still emaciated and recovering from the draining of her power so she doesn't know what she can offer.

Captain America: "Your spirit alone makes you an invaluable asset, Captain Marvel. I'm very glad to hear you say you still want to be one of the team."

Aww.

Hawkeye chimes in that he's got his own team to concern himself with.

No, not the West Coast Avengers.

Remember, he stormed off in a huff.

We'll see what he's talking about in the next West Coast Avengers issue.

But he wants to make it very clear that unlike some people he's not going to come when he's called until everyone shows him the respect he's earned.

... Hawkeye, what the shit.

You don't even have beef with Captain America or with most of the people in this room.

Mockingbird tells him to get over himself. He's an Avenger, she's an Avenger. And if Cap needs them, they're Avengers.

Also, everyone else apparently answers off-panel or something.

I love Hawkeye's pouty little raised fist.

He's doing it to fit in but he's gonna be sullen about it.

God, there's something really funny about US Agent not getting the invite.

He's on the team by government fiat but Cap is like 'do I consider him a real Avenger no, I do not.'

That or he just ignored the invite. There's other people missing.

Dr Druid, lost in time. Black Knight, Thor forgot him in that dimensional rift. Mantis, has a lot going on right now. Hulk, never responds to messages. The year 3000 Guardians of the Galaxy, in the future. Iron Man... hey, where the fuck is Iron Man?

Every Avenger ever (that bothered to answer the phone) and a big mainstay like Iron Man isn't here?

Is being a big international criminal too much for his supposed friends to overlook?

Meanwhile? Lava men.

Just like the cover predicted.

A lava men is doomsaying over a cauldron.

Lava Man: "The ancient magicks grow weaker by the second. The darkness closes. The final darkness. Upon my actions here must hang the fate of all my race!"

This is the exact same plot as Power of the Dark Crystal.

That lava people in that were cuter though.

The lava man summons the last bit of ancient power to bring forth more lava men.

Lava Man: "Enough to crush the surface-dwellers who destroyed our people, who shattered our tomorrows...!"

Oh dammit.

What innocuous thing did the Avengers do this time that's going to prompt a whole thing?

Anyway, back with the Avengers, most of the biggest roster ever fucks off.

Because the thing about any Avenger being on call as needed means that when they're not needed, they're going to fuck off.

But a few hang around. And I'm guessing they might be something like a core roster with rotating guest Avengers for flavor?

Captain America, of course. This whole thing is his brain baby.

Black Panther sticks around since its been too long since he's done an Avengers stint. And you know T'Challa. He gets bored doing the same thing for too long. The same thing being "ruling the country that he rules."

She-Hulk, Thor, Gilgamesh, and Quasar also stick around.

I hope Gilgamesh gets a new, better costume if he's sticking around. He lost his helmet and his armor. He didn't bother changing out of civvies for that one Ellis Island fill-in issue. And he's just wearing boots and a loin cloth now.

Who do you think you are? Conan?

It's so weird that Quasar just casually gets Avengers membership off-panel. Or maybe it happened in some other book. And weird if so.

Everyone else in this biggest roster ever were past and current Avengers and then there's Quasar. The new guy. But nobody talking about how he's the new guy.

It's weird.

I got nothing bad to say about She-Hulk or Thor. They're cool.

Anyway. In what feels like a meta nod, Captain America and She-Hulk discuss how Thor makes Gilgamesh redundant.

She-Hulk says that Gilgamesh has been feeling like a fifth wheel since Thor came back. But She-Hulk didn't read the past issues. There was never an Avengers team that had Gilgamesh and didn't have Thor at the same time.

Either way, Captain America says you can't have too many heavy-hitters on a team and goes to join Thor and Gilgamesh's training session.

The training session kinda starts with a little gang up on Gilgamesh.

He smack talks Captain America's speed and does not yield to his mighty shield.

Thor gets aggrieved because dangit Captain America's shield is too good for Gilgamesh or even Thor to be handling willy nilly, even in a training session. How dare!

He throws his mighty Mjolnir at Gilgamesh. It clips his ankle and Black Panther is able to grab the shield from him.

After dunking on Captain America's speed, Gilgamesh is surprised by Black Panther and comments that his SPEED is unlike anything he's seen outside other Eternals.

Gilgamesh compliments how well the Avengers work together. He tries to pick up Mjolnir but obviously can't.

Thor recalls Mjolnir to his hand but Quasar missed the gang up on Gilgamesh memo and blasts Mjolnir right when Thor was about to throw it again, causing the mighty mallet to fly right at She-Hulk and Black Panther.

She-Hulk snags the shield and then shoves Black Panther out of the way. She blocks Mjolnir but gets knocked off her feet.

Quasar apologizes for getting caught up in the excitement and Cap scolds that carelessness could get someone killed in a real combat situation.

Captain America: "You may be a trained SHIELD agent, but you're new to the Avengers, Quasar. Join me later, and I'll be happy to run you through a few drills to sharpen your combat sense."

She-Hulk tells Cap to go easy on the new kid because "we were all young once" and "he's got cute dimples."

From Quasar's grim expression, I don't know if he takes that compliment.

Then Jarvis pops in and asks who wants snacks?

Black Panther does. Black Panther is all over that.

I wonder if this training sequence is inspired by Danger Room sequences over in X-Men.

Claremont and Byrne were basically co-plotters, although there was friction there toward the end, and starting a story with a Danger Room sequence as a quick 'here are the characters and here's what they can do' was common in their X-Men run.

This didn't start the story because the new status quo of 'any Avenger ever might show up for a story' had to be set up but it still has that same energy.

Here are the characters, here's what they do.

Anyway. A big RRRRRUUMMMMBBLLLLE hits the island and shakes the place like an earthquake. But it can't be an earthquake because Avengers Island is not an island. Its a floating platform.

(Although it is anchored in place with big pillars so it would probably still feel earthquakes?)

So something must have hit the not-island and hard enough to cause cracks in the walls and ceiling. The reinforced walls and ceiling because the Avengers know that their mansion on an island is a nice target.

Cap runs up to a window and doesn't see Manhattan. Which is weird. They're parked right off Manhattan. Where is Manhattan?

But based on the slight tremors, Black Panther deduces what has happened.

This has happened.

Dang ol' lava men hoisted the entire not-island!

The Avengers (She-Hulk, Black Panther, Quasar, Captain America, Thor, and No-Shirt Gilgamesh) run outside to find out what's going on.

She-Hulk asks the silly question of who short of Galactus could lift a not-island!

It's a very silly question because I don't think the Lava Men are close to Galactus on the power scale.

Apparently a lot of people could lift a not-island.

The Lava Men answer her question anyway by swarming up over the side and Captain America deduces that they're responsible based on how they're here.

Since Quasar is new here, Thor exposits that the Lava Men were some of the first foes that the Avengers fought. Issue #5, I believe.

And this is issue #305. Very cute, Byrne.

Captain America, who was also in issue #5, notes that these aren't the Lava Men he remembers. Their movements are too robotic. And they reform as quickly as they're smashed.

She-Hulk notes that they're also too hot to stand near. Even with Hulk toughness.

Gilgamesh tries walloping one with a tree but when it shatters, each piece gets up as a tiny Lava Man.

So She-Hulk drops a rock on them.

Which she wouldn't do if they were alive. But she doesn't think they are.

When She-Hulk smack talks Gilgamesh, he retorts he's only brought a fraction of his immortal might to bear so far.

Black Panther: "Then a fraction more would be appreciated, Gilgamesh. It does little good against these things to talk."

Oof.

T'Challa just ended that entire man's career.

I do wonder how Simonson would have been writing Gilgamesh because nobody else seems interested in doing it.

Forget Thor-lite, he's just Hercules-lite now. Big strong guy who gets grumpy when he's shown up or when a woman.

He's been stripped of his dumb armor and whatever interesting characteristics he may have had. Joking about being mythological people and with a passion for monster fighting.

What happened to you, Gilgamesh? And how soon can you go away and get replaced by Sersi?

Anyway, new boy Quasar comes up with an idea.

He asks Black Panther to lure as many Lava Men as he can to the edge of the not-island so Quasar can blast them off.

I mean. Lava Men. Water. It makes sense. Except that I'm pretty sure these dopes came OUT of the ocean to begin with.

But everyone acts like this was a really good idea so I guess it was a really good idea.

Thor even imitates it by spinning Mjolnir really fast to create a gale to push more Lava Men off.

And Cap tells Thor good job on that too so I guess knocking them off the edge is a good plan.

Not a sufficient plan though.

There's just too many. A dozen more climb onto the island for every one the Avengers knock over the edge.

She-Hulk iterates on her giant rock idea by having Gilgamesh help her use a giant rock to shovel tons of sand on a group of Lava Men.

Quasar: "I don't like the looks of this, Panther! We're losing!" Black Panther: "Never say it, Quasar. Though the Lava Men outnumber us by ten thousand to one..." Quasar: "Well, excuse my doom and gloom, Panther... But that's not much of an exaggeration! They've got the others completely surrounded!" Black Panther: "Then we must fight them from within, Quasar! Set us down inside their fiery ring!"

Black Panther claims that the idea is to mass all of the Avengers' might in one combined front but I dunnoooooo. And Cap backs him up that it's a good strategy but I don't knoooooooow.

Because. Look. The previous strategy was to knock the dudes off the edge. Circling up is basically admitting defeat. They can rush the Avengers with numbers and the Avengers can't use their biggest attacks because their friends are shoulder to shoulder with them.

And considering that it seems like the Lava Men's plan was to force the Avengers into a small circle for reasons, Black Panther choosing to jump into the circle feels less like good strategy and more like Byrne moving the pieces where they need to be and not being able to do it naturally.

The Avengers getting forced into a bad position is very possible, especially with these kinds of numbers.

Having Black Panther go 'let me get in there too' makes it come off clunky.

Anyway.

The Lava Men keep coming and coming and the Avengers' circle shrinks until its maybe 15 feet across.

Then the Lava Men get kinda goopy. They lose their human form and flow into each other into a wave of lava.

Too late, Captain America realizes this is bad. He commands everyone who can fly to grab someone and get clear of this tiny circle that turned out to be a bad idea.

But I already said it was too late.

The lava wave crashes over the Avengers and then forms a ball.

Somehow, Captain America and Black Panther do not die.

I know people can get pretty close to lava flows but its a ball. They're standing on lava. And She-Hulk comments that inside the lava ball is as hot as a blast furnace.

Thor, She-Hulk, Gilgamesh and even Quasar have super-durability or an energy shield.

Why aren't Cap and Black Panther's booties burning?

The Avengers try to bust their way free of the lava ball but any damage seals itself back up, just like how the Lava Men reformed after being attacked.

Then the ball starts to rock and then roll.

Towards the edge of the not-island.

Wow.

That's an elaborate death.

For Captain America and Black Panther.

I'm pretty sure that everyone else can survive a very long plummet into the ocean inside of a lava ball.

Unfair, the Lava Men.

Come back with a death trap that kills everyone equally.

The peeps he’s beating up are actually stunt men.

No, he hasn’t gone all Hollywood and is beating up movie crew because he doesn’t control his outbursts.

This is promotion to promote the new Arkon IV: The Goblin Pit movie Simon is acting in with Arnold Schwarzburger. You read that right.

And because he showed off his new costume, nobody is even talking about the Christmas tree costume, as Dino the producer dubs it.

The new costume is more multi-functional than the Christmas tree, too. Although that mostly means that he can put a jacket with “dynasty shoulders” on over it for formal occasions and interviews.

As Simon, his girlfriend?, and producer take their seats for the premiere, there’s some exposition about how worried everyone was when Simon disappeared (into the past) and then when he went to Houston for a baseball game.

This is important exposition because it helped me place the annuals in the posting order.

The movie premiere starts.

Its not important to the plot to see the opening scene but c’mon. They dressed Simon in a little devil costume and glued a face mustache and beard to his face. The eyes look good though because they’re his real eyes.

The important part of the premiere scene for the plot is Simon thinking that he’s getting mass approval as a movie star in a way that the West Coast Avengers just can’t understand, doing stuff for altruism reasons they do!

Meanwhile, back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, Mockingbird and Hawkeye are enjoying a bubble bath together.

I think that’s their couple activity. They did a bath together at the end of the Hawkeye miniseries too. That tub was heart-shaped though.

And they deserve a nice bath, all that they’ve been through lately!

Mockingbird: “Man, am I exhausted! I could hole up here for a week!”

Hawkeye: “You said it ‘Bird! Gettin’ lost in time was bad enough, but dyin’ was even worse!”

Such a superhero thing to be able to say that sentence.

Hawkeye finds a chance to brag about how his team beat the East Coast Avengers in the death tournament. Never mind that it was part of an evil scheme to let the Grandmaster steal Death’s power. The important thing is that he sure proved that the West Coast Avengers could hold their own against a team with Captain America and Thor. Although those specific guys beat their opponents with embarrassing ease.

Bubblebath Hawkeye also swings the topic over to what Mockingbird went through when she was trapped in cowboy times and he wants to know whether Phantom Rider did anything to her beyond all the drugging.

Mockingbird lies that Phantom Rider never touched her. Because she doesn’t want Hawkeye to have to live with the knowledge. And also because she doesn’t want anyone to find out she manslaughtered Phantom Rider. And I guess once you start pulling threads, it may come out.

Anyway, the married couple gets frisky in the bath.

But what’s Tony Stark, Iron Man up to at the meanwhile?

Being the bigger man.

Iron Man: “This strongman competition between Iron Man and Wonder Man has got to stop! It’s no good for the team! I’m the senior member, so I’ll take the first steps toward --”

But he finds Simon isn’t in his bungalow and weakening his bigger man plan, he uncharitably decides Simon is doing something with his “blasted movie career”!

So you don’t even know his movie is premiering? So Simon didn’t even invite any of his teammates to the premiere?

Wow.

Wow wow wow.

I was gonna say, you gotta respect his movie career, even if you don’t think a superhero should be doing it. It’s clearly important to him. But Simon is kind of being a dick too.

After the movie premiere, there’s good news as Arkon IV: The Goblin Pit is a big hit with the audience! Everyone wants to shake Simon’s hand and Menachim tells Simon he’d be a shoo-in for Best Supporting Actor if the academy respected fantasy films. Producer Dino tells him hey no problem, they’re all going to make so much money off of Simon’s movie career, Dino will just buy him a little award statuette.

Simon tells him not necessary. The love and adoration of the public is all the aware he needs.

Dino decides strike while the iron is hot and tells Simon about the next movie he’s got lined up.

Dino: “You gonna play-a de opponent from outta space in Rocky V -- you an’a Stallone-a gonna fight it out onna de space shuttle!”

I’m pretty sure I’ve heard a similar joke about how the Rocky franchise would eventually go IN SPACE. Guess its just an easy thing to crack wise about.

Wonder Man: “Gosh, Dino -- I really appreciate it -- but I don’t think that’ll do! You see, I’m a hero in real life, so I won’t be doing any more villains! Could hurt my image!”

Dino is taken aback because when he hired Simon, Simon was willing to do any role just to prove himself. But Simon says times change. He’s proven himself and now he wants a three picture Flash Gordon deal. He says he’ll have his agent contact Dino.

Wow. One movie and he’s already a prima donna.

Dino doesn’t seem that upset though. He just says Simon Williams is gonna go places.

Meanwhile, back at West Coast Avengers Compound, Moon Knight gazing moodily at the Moon through a window.

This is kind of an issue for unwinding after everything that happened.

Pretty sure that joining the West Coast Avengers is inevitable (I mean, he did literally die for them) Moon Knight contemplates that its not too much to imagine that one day he might even fly to the Moon.

Well, the Avengers do go to space sometimes.

But Moon Knight doesn’t want to go to the Moon because it’d be a letdown to know Khonshu as a god and then go to the Moon and see its just dust and craters.

Weird man, Marc Spector. Weird man with odd trains of thought.

Moon Knight’s pilot friend Frenchy shows up for a meeting and Moon Knight lowers the defenses so he can hover the Moon-Chopper over the Compound without the defenses shooting it down.

And basically Moon Knight is breaking up with Frenchy. Basically.

If he’s going to work with the Avengers, the Avengers don’t need another pilot. And its not stated but they probably wouldn’t hire a mercenary like Frenchy just on Moon Knight’s say so. So he wants to basically cut Frenchy loose so he’s not wasting his time hanging around waiting for Marc to call him.

Frenchy is cool with this and saw it coming. As his closest friend, he’s seen that Marc has been at loose ends since love interest Marlene left. And this Avengers thing seems like its the direction he needs right now.

Cool guy, Frenchy.

SCENE TRANSITION BACK TO WONDER MAN

In a limo, his girlfriend? Chris is asking why he bothers staying with the Avengers.

Wonder Man: “You know, Chris, I’ve been wondering that myself! I’m really glad of the break they gave me when I was just starting out, but, it’s kind of like with Dino -- ! I’m world-class now, in both heroism and stardom! I’ve moved to a different league!”

Chris: “Stars do move in a different world from everyone else... but the West Coast Avengers is still a good commercial tie-in for you! I’d ask for a bigger percentage of the merchandising before you decide to cut it off altogether!”

... She... really doesn’t get how superheroes work, does she?

Wonder Man: There’s no merchandising -- not for us, anyway! All the revenues from the Marvel comic and the toys go to charity!”

Chris: “What? Then what’s your net, and how many points is that?”

Wonder Man: “No points -- we all get the same cut! We each get a stipend of $1000 a week!”

Chris: “One G a week? You can get two G’s a day out of Dino after tonight!”

Wonder Man: “Sure, if I could guarantee I’d be on the set whenever he needed me!”

Chris: “Well...?”

Wonder Man: “Well... Let’s see how the Carson Show goes, before I answer that! But the way these crowds are gathering for me tonight, I think I already know the answer...!”

Meanwhile, BACK AT THE COMPOUND again, Hank Pym walks into his lab and whaddayaknow La Espirita is here!

I’d wondered what happened to her after she was left with the Collector!

Apparently, she appeared in Silver Surfer’s solo

Silver Surfer bust into the Collector’s ship to question him about the Elders’ various plots and discovered La Espirita was just hanging around so he agreed to take her back to Earth.

Dropped her off in Albuquerque, in fact.

La Espirita took care of some things and then swung by Los Angeles to check on the West Coast Avengers.

Hank asks her why she didn’t join the team in death when they all drank poison (and I’m still shaking my head at that being a plot point) but she tells him, yeah, she drank poison like all the cool kids but didn’t die of it.

Dr Pym: “What? But even Wonder Man died!”

La Espirita: “I know! There’s something very strange about me, Hank -- I don’t understand it myself -- but since my vision of Carlotta turned out to be crucial to returning the Avengers from the past, I know God has much to teach me still! I plan to enter the wilderness to seek a better understanding!”

Hank decides this is as good a time as any to dump her.

Classy as ever, Hank.

Dr Pym: “Bonita, I can never repay you for what you did for me -- you not only saved my life, but you helped me rebuild it -- I love you for that -- but I’ve come to see -- I don’t love you...!”

La Espirita: “I know that!”

She’s taking this well.

But, she has her own reservations about the relationship. Annnnd, y’know, I’ve never been too sure what exactly she saw in him anyway? And this following conversation implies maybe she was casually trying to convert him?

She asks him, knowing the answer, whether he believes in god.

Hank hems and haws but has to admit that he doesn’t. And La Espirita admits that an atheist isn’t a good match for her so she kind of expected she’d be going on her wilderness quest alone.

Oh my god, its the completely mutual dump! As spoken in legends!

Hank feels bad though and tries to say he’ll still go with her but she tells him his place is with the Avengers “the team you founded and have just found again!”

Good wordplay, La Espirita.

And her place is not with the Avengers. Aww. Dangit.

I mean. Moon Knight is fine. But I was hoping Bonita would stick around.

She gives Hank a kiss and strolls out of the book.

AT LEAST SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE FIRST, GEEZ.

Okay, back at the Wonder Man side of the plot.

Wonder Man appears on the Carson Show, very pleased with the applause he’s receiving.

Chris: “I knew it would be like this, Simon! The moment I thought of casting you in Arkon, I knew you just needed the one break to break through! Stallone was nobody before Rocky, but then it was straight to the top!”

And Simon promises to take her for a night on the town to remember as soon as he finishes the taping.

A journalist asks Wonder Man if he has some big bombshell news, since last time he appeared on the show, he announced his criminal past.

But before Wonder Man can say anything Abomination shoves his way onto the set.

Oh, I’m sorry.

That’s not Abomination.

It’s Tyrannus’ mind trapped in Abomination’s body.

Comics are weird.

For example: minor recurring Hulk villain guy Tyrannus? Who is Yet Another Underground Jerk like Mole Man? Yeah, Tyrannus is actually Romulus Augustulus. If you’re moderately interested in Roman history, you may recognize that as the name of the Last Western Roman Emperor.

YEAH. He’s that guy.

A child emperor that Goth general Odoacer just sort of shooed out of the room when his father Orestes refused payment to the German mercenary armies in Italy.

In history, Romulus Augustulus was given a pension to live on for being such a nice young lad and sent into exile. History is scarce but he probably didn’t cause any further trouble.

IN MARVEL, he was right pissed about the loss of his (pretty illegitimate) throne and became the servant of Pluto (who is a dick in Marvel) who sent him to destroy Merlin. He was stopped by the first Black Knight. And there’s something fitting about Marvel’s Original Character for Arthurian Lore beating up the Last Western Roman Emperor. Anyway, Merlin banished Tyrannus inside the Earth. Where he found the Fountain of Youth.

TRULY BONKERS.

Anyway, this dumb shit for some reason decided to body swap into Abomination and then went ugh this body is way too ugly. But he was stuck with it.

That’s not a tangent. That is literally his motivation for this issue.

Romulus Abomination: “This is your night to shine, manly one! Your night to strut the stage before the world! But I bestrode he world fifteen centuries ago -- and had I not fallen to Merlin, cursed be his name, I would rule it all today! But I did fall to Merlin, and I have recently fallen to the Hulk to be trapped in this grotesque pile of emerald protoplasm -- a body truly called Abomination... and if I cannot rule in glory, then neither will you!”

This is a truly stupid motivation.

Does he attack all movie stars or is Simon just lucky?

Wonder Simon tells everyone to back up to give him room to fight and for Chris to go home so she won’t be in danger.

She’s worried for Simon because Abomination goes toe-to-toe with the Hulk but Wonder Man isn’t impressed.

Gotta say. Makes for hilarious comedic timing.

Romulus Abomination: “You are unimpressed with me, are you? You will be impressed -- and it will be your final impression!”

Simon punches Abomination away and belt jets away for some space and so he can build up ramming speed.

But Abomination tackles him out of the air, shatters his belt jets, and hurtles him into another studio.

David Letterman’s studio, precisely.

So this is another time that Wonder Man appeared on David Letterman’s Late Night show.

That David Letterman wit.

All this getting his ass kicked has blackened one of Wonder Man’s eyes, something Abomination takes note of.

Romulus Abomination: “So -- the man of wonders is not invulnerable!”

Wonder Man: “Wonder Man is still a man, if that’s what you mean -- but the difference between me and invulnerable is too small for you to notice!”

Good line! I mean, you need to stop getting your ass kicked to sell it but good line!

Wonder Man punches Abomination off of him, even manages to stagger him for a moment. But that old self-doubt is boiling up. Abomination gives Hulk a hard time, Hulk gives Wonder Man a hard time. The math don’t look great for him.

And and and, he thought he couldn’t die but the Collector’s poison killed him. He thought he’d gotten strong enough that he could beat Thor but Mjolnir gave Thor an edge. So what if Wonder Man is wrong about being able to beat Abomination?

What if Abomination kills him?

Fear is the mind-killer!

He’s gotten really good at avoiding spiraling into doubt.

Wonder Man announces that a tan will really help Abomination’s self-image problem. And then wraps a stage light around him.

Zing!

Abomination flexes loose from the light but gets electrocuted by the now damaged wire. JUST AS WONDER MAN PLANNED!

With Abomination stunned, Wonder Man is free to go ham on him. VERY HAM!

Except nobody cares.

The camera crew didn’t bother filming any of it, figuring it was just another engineered fight Simon arranged to hype up his movie.

Even when they’re told it was real, a real supervillain really showed up and really beat the shit out of him, nobody cares. They already got footage of him fighting at the engineered fight so... does it matter that nobody got this fight? Really, how many clips do you need, Simon?

And as a dejected Simon watches everyone take off, the gravest insult of all - an old man tells him that he likes the special effects of Jaws on the Universal tour better.

Oof ouch.

Meanwhile, back at the West Coast Avengers Compound, god damn, these two are still chillaxing.

Hawkeye and Mockingbird have moved on from the hot tub to the hot room and are in the sauna room that the compound apparently has.

Geez, I wonder if I can get hired as a West Coast Avenger. The only downside I can think of is that if I don’t quit in time, I’d have to be in Force Works.

ANYWAY, as Hawkeye is telling Mockingbird about all the wild days he had with the East Coast Avengers, but that he prefers leading his own team - problem child #1 walks into the sauna.

He excuses himself when he sees its in use but Hawkeye tells him yes this is definitely not awkward, why don’t you come in so we can discuss your future with the team.

Wonder Man: “And I can guess why -- but I’ll save you the trouble! I came to tell you, Clint, no matter how big I get in this town -- and it’s gonna be very big -- I learned tonight what’s real and what isn’t! An actor plays many parts, but I have one special part to play -- as a part of the West Coast Avengers!”

Aww! I didn’t know how Wonder Man’s ego trip ‘I’m too cool for this team’ thing was gonna end. I figured there’d be drama. Hawkeye or Iron Man would get in a shouting match with him.

Him realizing on his own that he could just be a superpowered celebrity, doing nothing but movies and fake fights, but that it would feel empty -- well, good on Simon for getting his head on straight without it requiring yelling.

And good on him for wanting to stick to the acting thing! It makes him pretty unique and I’d hate to see it get written out.

Next time, West Coast Avengers. Still one more issue before the dates are synced back up. But god damn it the Zodiac. I wouldn’t say I hate those guys but they’re boring.

That “What is Scorpio -- ?” is at least enough of a twist to get me interested though. What is Scorpio indeed.

Anyway. Mean Rama-Tut (henceforth just Rama-Tut) shot the West Coast Avengers minus Mockingbird (because she’s not present) when they arrived in Ancienter Egypt 2940 BC.

Whats weird is when he rants over their collapsed forms.

It’s not the ranting that’s weird, obviously. We’re talking a kind of Kang here. Its the content of the rant.

He acts like they’re just stupid locals rebelling against his rule. Which. I mean. They don’t look like Ancient Egyptians. Even given that the exact ethnic makeup of Ancient Egypt is debated, I don’t think the populace tended to wear full suits of armor. Because of the heat.

Rama-Tut rant/recaps his backstory. About how he’s from the year 3000 AD (or CE I guess) which was a glorious boring age of enlightenment where there was nothing fun to do for a guy who wanted action and adventure.

He spent his time watching old, futuristic film reels on his big screen of superheroes doing superhero stuff.

In another world, Kang may have become a guy like Booster Gold. He admired the action adventure of past heroes a lot so I can see a situation where he arrived in the year Whatever the Sliding Timescale Says Now not to fight the Avengers but to fight alongside them.

There’s probably a What If in that but I don’t think anyone has done it.

Anyway, his desire for action-adventure content led him to the ruins of a castle (Doom’s) where Pre-Kang found plans for a time machine the likes of which even the Super Cool Year 3000 never built.

So Pre-Kang built a time machine in the shape of a Sphinx because he wanted to go back to Ancient Egypt and arriving in a Sphinx probably would play to their superstitions.

Why did he go to Ancient Egypt if he had a big thing for superhero action?

Shut up. How about that?

I mean. There’s a hint. He exposits that the six thousand year time difference between 3000 BC and 3000 AD gives him an edge against any foe.

So I guess early-pre-Kang didn’t want a challenge. He wanted easy fights.

Its amazing that Kang actually became less shitty as he grew up, in like this one narrow regard.

Anyway, Rama-Tut calls for his guards and tells them to take the dumb rebels (actually the West Coast Avengers) to one of the temples of the discredited gods and make those stupid out of work priests bury them.

(The guards also don’t seem to notice anything worth commenting about how the Avengers look or dress so... something’s up.)

So, yeah, Rama-Tut has banned all worship apparently aside from Rama-Tut worship? But he left the temples alone and priests unmurdered so he’s less worse than some.

Also: the gun that Rama-Tut shot the West Coast Avengers with didn’t kill them or even knock them out.

It’s an ultra-diode ray that saps strength but leaves people conscious.

So they can be buried alive??

Funny bit: while the West Coast Avengers have varying reactions to being immobilized but aware (except Hawkeye who just feverishly babbles “Bobbi” to himself) Wonder Man’s takes the cake.

Wonder Man: My power’s gone! Can’t move a muscle! It’s like -- when I was dead! But there’s no panic any more! I’ve made it, all the way back from the darkness! Even now I’m a star!

Leave it to specifically this era of Wonder Man to go ‘oh cool i’m not afraid of death anymore, because i’m in movies’

Anyway, the guards drag the ultra-diode’d Avengers to the temple/tomb of Khonshu and tell the priests to handle the bodies.

The priests... do not do this, instead reverently bowing and leaving the immobilized heroes in front of a statue of Khonshu, god of the MOOON.

And then Hawkeye dies.

Welp.

I assume so anyway.

Because the next scene (1876 on the Arizona/New Mexico border) features Ghost/Phantom Rider and Mockingbird just finished beating up some outlaws when suddenly Mockingbird has a chill run through her “as if everything I loved in the world has died -- !”

Quick question: It happened thousands of years ago. Why do you only now feel it? How does the ominous premonition know when to go off?

Nitpickery aside, Ghost Rider thinks thats a strange thing for Mockingbobbi to say when he’s right in front of her clearly alive but he offers to help warm her up, which she recoils from.

She tells him she needs some alone time and rides off.

Ghost Rider wonders what that’s all about but decides to let her have her alone time.

Unbeknowst to Mockingbird or Ghost Rider, Two-Gun Kid and Rawhide Kid have managed to track the two down despite the slip they were given in the earlier issue.

ALSO: Two-Gun Kid had the same chill go through him as Mockingbird.

Which, remember, she described “as if everything I loved in the world has died -- !”

Nobody else in this issue gets this feeling. Just Mockingbird and Two-Gun Kid.

His wife and his cowboy best pal.

Possibly his cowboy boyfriend? They spent a lot of time together in the past and in the present and they were awfully close in this arc.

But it took decades for Marvel to admit Rachael Summers was queer. They’re never going to give Hawkeye an explicit cowboy boyfriend.

Over in 1776, remember how the Carlotta Valdez plot thread seems to be continuing despite her being dead?

So at the funeral, out of sorrow of Carlotta dying pointlessly, her aunt cancels the trip to California and decides to move back to Mexico. The priest that was her chaperone in the carriage is also traveling back to Mexico so he decides to go with the aunt.

ALSO he decides he has dibs on Carlotta’s Bible.

He can just decide this.

The aunt decides that this is what Carlotta would have wanted (I doubt it, personally...) but I guess this plot thread is continuing because we need to know about how the Family Bible is going to wind up back in family hands so La Espirita can have it and not notice that message from Hawkeye that Carlotta was supposed to entrust to her descendants.

Anyway, in 1847 in Corazon, Mexico...

An Isabel Ramirez comes to the church to pray because times are baaad. There was a war with the US and there’s poverty and well things are just baaaad.

The priest tells her to go ahead and pray but no touching the Bible, which is clearly way too holy for peasants to touch.

Isabel: “But, padre -- my mother says our family helped found this mission! She says the Bible once belonged to my great-aunt -- and -- and more than that, I love all that is holy! I would be a priest myself -- if only I could!”

The priest: “Ha ha ha! The fantasies of women!”

Cool, I hate him.

I sure hope he gets robbed of something.

Lotta nerve to tell  a girl she’s not cool enough to touch her own family’s heirloom.

It probably goes to show something something organized religion something.

But anyway, as soon as the priest walks off, Isabel decides that she’s totally going to touch the forbidden Bible.

The note Hawkeye wrote falls out of the Bible. I don’t know if she can read English but she grasps that its a note from a man in the past to the future.

And seeing a message sent through centuries just totally blows her mind with the vastness of the universe, a grand epiphany that brings clarity to Isabel.

She’s going to steal back the ol’ family Bible!

And sure, she’s the likeliest suspect but she’ll hide it where NONE WILL EVER SUSPECT!

THE PERFECT CRIME!

THANKS GOD AND OR THE UNIVERSE!

This is a fun story, at times.

Anyway, speaking of god and or the universe, Hawkeye meets Khonshu.

Man, Khonshu has so many moons.

But I do prefer his bird skull aspect to Moon Knight But Fancier.

Khonshu explains that the reason why Rama-Tut mistook the Avengers for just random Egyptians was because Khonshu used hypnotic moon powers to hide the Avengers’ identities from the pharaoh.

Not out of the goodness of his heart or lack of heart or whatever his organ sitch is. He wants to make a deal.

Rama-Tut is a future superbeing and so are the Avengers. And Hawkeye is the leader of this group of future superbeings.

So Khonshu will heal (or resurrect? It’s unclear) Hawkeye if Hawkeye will lead the Avengers against Rama-Tut.

And Hawkeye was going to do that anyway sooooo...... might as well see what else he can get for it.

So Hawkeye will get the West Coast Avengers to fight Rama-Tut IF Khonshu sends the Avengers back to their own time afterward.

Khonshu points out that he’s the god of the Moon, not of time. Although, I’d personally argue that a moon god would fit nicely as a time god. Because of the mostly reliable phases of the Moon. Like clockwork.

But what I would argue doesn’t matter. It’s not something Khonshu can Khonshdo.

Khonshu: “I lack the power to do as you ask! I am the god of the Moon -- I work in subtlety and shadow!”

Hawkeye: “Well... then send a subtle message to friends of ours in the future -- to come and get us with some other friends’ time machine!”

Khonshu: “Done!”

That easy, apparently.

Although, he’s got nearly five thousand years to work in.

Anyway.

Speaking of nearly five thousand years, nearly five thousand years later in 1876, Mockingbird.

Remember how she was had felt a chilling premonition that everything she loved in the world died?

Well, as she’s contemplating that inkjet arrowhead she decided to wear as a good luck charm, she suddenly has the opposite premonition and the opposite temperature.

A surge of warmth that means something good happened.

How vague.

And yet how, once again, oddly linked to time progressing for all the characters like they’re in the same year.

Anyway.

Palette Swap Hawkeye attacks Mockingbird.

Okay, its not Bootleg Hawkeye, it’s Two-Gun Kid.

He did his best, given the limits of the time and place, and blue is his best.

Either way, he’s going to try to spark Mockingbobbi’s memory of who she really is. Mostly by attacking her with archery and calling her Bobbi Barton.

Two-Gun isn’t super great at archery, which maybe helps. Because Mockingbird recognizes on some level that he sucks at it, which means she has opinions about good archery.

Also, she’s not fighting her best. Her reflexes are slow and all.

Two-Gun speculates that even if she doesn’t recognize that he’s supposed to be dressed as Player 2 Hawkeye consciously, she recognizes its subconsciously.

And he recognizes the inkjet arrowhead as one of Hawkeye’s specialty arrows.

So when he manages to pin her to a tree with arrows through her enormous sleeves (due to the aforementioned not fighting her best), he grabs the arrowhead and yells for her to tell him whose thingy it is.

Mockingbird: “... Hawkeye... Cint! I remember now! We were leaving, and the spook-man hit me, and he gave me some drug -- and made me love him! I’ll KILL him!”

So mission success in terms of getting her to remember but the now murderous rage isn’t ideal, since Two-Gun and Rawhide Kids want to bring him in for JUSTICE.

And she doesn’t say she’s not going to kill him.

She does ask where the Avengers are and Two-Gun says they’re probably still in Ancient Egypt.

Or however time works.

So Mockingbird declares that until Clint/the Avengers make their way back to the more recent past, she’ll occupy herself with making Ghost/Phantom Rider “a real spook!”

Meanwhile? Or. Whatever.

Back in 2940 BC, the ultra-diode finally wears off and the West Coast Avengers can move about again.

And bonus! Hawkeye regains consciousness! Also his burns are healed! Without any sign!

The power of a good rest is amazing!

While the Avengers marvel over his recovery, Hawkeye just mosies up to the statue of Khonshu and thanks him.

Then the priests show back up (calling Hawkeye “beloved of Khonshu” while really confuses everyone else) and offer to take the Avengers to a secret tunnel they’ve been digging which leads right to the Sphinx of Rama-Tut.

As the Avengers head after the priests, Hawkeye suggests that he and Wonder Man should have a long talk about being dead.

So, yeah, I think Hawkeye died. Khonshu resurrected him. And now Hawkeye is going to try to get coping advice from Wonder Man.

Anyway.

THE PRESENT, as of when the comic was published, YEAR OF 1987, NEW YORK CITY

Moon Knight sees some art thieves and thwarts them.

My goodness.

The random bullshit meme panels in their original context.

This is a treat.

After knocking everyone out with random bullshit, Moon Knight has a PSA for these unconscious art thieves.

Moon Knight: “Art and music are man’s highest expressions, alive throughout eternity! Such masterpieces aren’t meant for petty theft!"

But then Moon Knight has a vision of Khonshu and his many moons and contacts his pilot Frenchy to get a ride to California.

Ha. So that’s how Khonshu is passing Hawkeye’s message to the future. Uh. Very indirectly. Instead of just sending Moon Knight to the Fantastic Four (who in fairness probably have little reason to listen to him, fair point Khonshu), he’s sending him to talk to Hank and La Espirita.

Speaking of the two, Hank has finished inventing a new thing.

He invented a talking flying car shaped like an ant head!

And - learning the lesson from Ultron being too smart - this flying ant head is only about as smart as a dog and is about as enthusiastically loyal as one.

Hence why he’s named it Rover.

It’s pretty cool.

AND THATS NOT ALL

Because of La Espirita forcing him to recap his entire professional career, Hank has come to a realization. He can’t be Ant-Man or Giant-Man again because his body can’t stand the strain of size changing.

(Because he’s not cool like Wasp.)

But his body naturally produces Pym Particles, hence why he didn’t need the pills or gas anymore to size-change back when he could size-change. And why he could change the size of his costume and equipment.

So what if only change size of equipment?

So he built a bunch of cool stuff and then shrank them so he can carry around a Batman’s worth of random gear and just grow it as needed.

He’s invented a reasonable alternative to hammerspace!

This is also pretty cool.

Hank even designed some of the random bullshit to be useful both full sized or shrunken. Like a flying camera drone, that can be a flying minicam for trailing people.

La Espirita: “It sounds perfect, Hank! You’ve taken the parts of your past that worked, jettisoned the parts that didn’t, and built yourself a future! Have you picked out a new name to go with it?”

Doctor Pym, Action Scientist: “I don’t want a new name -- not after having four already! No, you taught me to be what I am, Bonita -- so from this day forward, as an adventurer or an everyday guy, I am -- Doctor Pym!”

Hank also mentions he’s not going to wear a costume -- and throws in a barb at Wonder Man, pointing out that his new costume is horrible.

He speaks the truth and I’m glad someone finally had the strength to do so.

Anyway, despite no codename and no costume, Hank is ready to get back into the game and plans to ask to be an Avenger again once the others get back.

Bonita is thrilled for Hank, saying that she’s glad to have helped him because “that’s what Christian fellowship is all about!”

And then Hank gets all awkward.

Because. Well. She’s been paying a lot of attention to him and listening to him talk about himself for several days now.

He just sorta assumed she had romantic interest in him.

IN THE WAY THAT PEOPLE SOMETIMES ASSUME.

Of course, once he broaches the topic, she’s also happy to start making out with him.

So. Uh. This happened.

I can’t tell if she’s actually been romantically interested in him or whether she just thought ‘eh, worth a try’ when he brings it up.

This relationship isn’t going to last long so yeah I do think she’s just rolling with the assumption he’s making.

'I’m not morally opposed to making out, so lets do that.’ sort of thing.

Anyway, Dominus shows up again in this story.

Remember Dominus?

Lucifer’s colleague who created a rock woman named Butte? Sent the Avengers back in time? Technically the arc villain but hasn’t done much more than be an inciting incident?

Well, the issue ends with him moodily sitting on his comfortable villain chair pondering whether there’s anything he forgot in terms of stranding the Avengers in the past forever

And the answer is probably yes, considering the message that Hawkeye wrote asking for La Espirita to get the Fantastic Four to come pick them up in their functioning time machine.

I mean, that’s probably it, right?

So Dominus decides to explain to Sunstroke all about his alien race and their evil schemes.

Why he does this, I don’t know. Villains just love the sound of their own voices.

So the Dominus and Lucifer race is called the Arcane.

Like the Skrulls, they Secretly Invade planets and conquer them through subversion. Unlike Secret Invasion, the Arcane are actually good at it.

The Arcane are actually pretty obscure on the galactic stage. BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT BEING STEALTH INVADERS. THEY DON’T BROADCAST THEMSELVES.

It helps that the Arcane have a really effective method of taking over that requires a lot less infiltrating.

They just have one agent go to a planet, build a hidden base, and build a Master Machine suited for that planet. It can take years but once its done, the machine activates and sends out mind control rays that enslave the entire planet.

The Skrulls wish they were this effective and evil.

Dominus also exposits about Lucifer, mostly so he can call him a fuck up.

Lucifer was sent to take over Earth but got thwarted by Xavier once and then the X-Men.

For being a fuck up, Lucifer was banished to the dimension called the Nameless Dimension.

Then Lucifer broke out of the Nameless Dimension and menaced Iron Man. And then later he menaced Falcon and Captain America.

SUFFICE TO SAY, he had some mission creep there. And all these fights with superheroes were definitely drawing more attention than the none that the Arcane would prefer.

So boom, Lucifer was terminated by his people and the Arcane left Earth alone until people forgot that there was an alien named Lucifer who was hugely important in Xavier’s backstory.

What’s funny is that with the sliding timescale, the amount of time the Arcane waited until deciding ‘good enough!’ ever diminishes.

Three years prior to this comic, Dominus decided ‘good enough!’ and came to Earth to do the whole Arcane thing. Except without being a fuck up like Lucifer.

I don’t know that he succeeded because: look: his mission was to set up base in the American Southwest and try not to attract attention from the X-Men or from the Defenders or Rangers.

Dominus created the Desert Dwellers to spy on those three groups and he set up his time machine scheme if any of them found him. Which the West Coast Avengers did which is why they were Lost in Space-Time.

But why did the Desert Dwellers attack the West Coast Avengers at all? They could have laid low and the Avengers would have come and gone, never any wiser about the secret villain plot.

Its not like Dominus ever needs to fight any superhero teams if he gets his Master Machine working.

Dominus, you’re as much a fuck up as Lucifer is, aren’t you?

He says he had the Desert Dwellers lure the West Coast Avengers so he could send them into the past and then destroyed the Fantastic Four’s time machine so they couldn’t be found but, my dude, you are drawing a lot of attention to yourself!

The West Coast Avengers aren’t even one of the groups you were originally worried about so now you still have them to worry about AND you’ve aggroed the Fantastic Four!

You fuck up!

You absolute and total goon!

You complete kneebiter!

Anyway, yeah, the West Coast Avengers are looking to tie off the loose end of the jerk who sent them back in time.

Each of the Avengers and guests gets a chance to have some thoughts about their most pressing thoughts.

Iron Man is thrilled that not only is he back in the present but Hank Pym is back to superheroing. He’s felt really weird about Hank hanging out as a not superhero in previous issues so this is a good turn.

Hank Pym is also thrilled that the Avengers seem to be accepting him returning to superheroing despite uh his past difficulties.

Tigra is also thrilled to be back in the present. Because she’s been wanting to stalk Dominus for sending them back in time. She’s feeling the cat instincts.

Moon Knight is tagging along because he’s trying to figure out what Khonshu is trying to tell him by sending him on this quest and revealing that Hawkeye is the one who made his random bullshit weapons.

La Espirita is praying because yeah.

Wonder Man wants to get this over with so he can get back to his big Hollywood dreams.

Hawkeye is also revved up to fight Dominus.

Hawkeye: “You put us through the ringer, Dominus, but all that happened was, you showed us what we can do! I’ve got a team, buddy! I’ve got a team that can take anybody -- and we’re takin’ YOU!”

And Mockingbird is just thinking how much she missed Clint Hawkeye when they were separated in TIME. Annnnnd how grateful she is he’ll neverrrrr find out about that guy she killed.

Yeah, I’m just waiting for that shoe to drop.

When the West Coast Avengers turn the corner in the cave, they find the quirky mini-boss squad the Desert Dwellers waiting.

Except they’ve kind of become a quirky mini-boss army.

Yeah, there’s apparently fifty of them now. Multiples of Gila, Butte, and Cactus. Still just one Sunstroke though.

Dominus can just make more dudes.

(Fun little touch here is Moon Knight’s bafflement at a dude named Cactus. He wasn’t here for the first part of the story.)

Anyway, the Avengers and guests just jump right into without even so much as an assemble.

Hawkeye and Tigra fight a bunch of Cactuses. Cacti? Anyway, Hawkeye shoots a buzzsaw arrow because of course he has one. And Tigra gets punched in the ass by Cactus and winds up with an ass full of cactus needles.

Then she goes angry cat and tears some Cactusi apart.

Wonder Man and Iron Man have another argument while punching some Buttes.

Wonder Man: “One punch! One punch is all I need per Butte!”

Iron Man: “They may have been created in a machine, Wonder Man, but that doesn’t mean they’re not alive!”

Wonder Man: “I’m not killing them, lead-head! Even demolished they don’t die! Why don’t you just get hip to yourself and back off, anyway? Give me some room!”

Iron Man: “Room?!! You’re lucky to be here at all, the way you’re acting!”

While Hank Pym embiggens a baseball bat and starts whacking some Gila monsters, La Espirita flies off to go deal with Suns- well its Sunstroke but she calls him Sunspot.

That’s a completely different dude, Bonita, but its a reasonable mistake to make since she only heard the name once.

Anyway, since Sunstroke is the only unique in this mob, she figures he’s the leader of the mook army.

Mockingbird goes ham on some more Buttes with her battle-staves. Like seriously ham.

Mockingbird: “Now there’s a man after my own heart! I’ve used battle-staves all through my costumed career -- and they haven’t let me down yet! They’ve never let me down, and I’ve never let myself down! No matter what anyone does to me -- they always have to listen to the Mockingbird!”

Hawkeye overhears this and wonders why she’s being so being so intense.

But almost immediately dismisses it as “husbands never do understand wives altogether -- !”

Cool, Hawkeye. Entirely dropping the ball there.

And Moon Knight is still processing all this, while chopping up Cactuses.

Moon Knight: “Hawkeye designed this grappling hook -- ! The Sun is always the same, but the Moon always changes, doesn’t it, Khonshu? Maybe you’re right! Acting as your fist by myself drove me crazy -- drove away the woman I love -- ! Maybe it’s time for the Moon Knight to change!”

So he’s interpreted this whole adventure to mean that Khonshu wants him to have more of a social group.

If he’s reading the situation right, pretty cool of Khonshu to be watching out for Moon Knight’s well-being.

More recent depictions have him less cool.

Anyway.

La Espirita and Sunstroke have a standoff, blasting fire at each other.

He does a ‘we meet at last thing’ and reveals he’s been spying on her. But he calls her Firebird so she points out that he can’t have been doing a great job with it.

And they have a sort of symbolism debate.

She says she’s La Espirita because she burns with “the holy and eternal flame of spirit!” (She has the power of god and anime on her side?)

Sunstroke counters that he has the power of the Sun.

She counter counters that many religions equate god and the Sun so clearly they’re equally matched.

Then he flies off because he’s realized that while they were standoffing, the West Coast Avengers have mopped the floor with the other 49 Desert Dwellers.

Basically: fuck this, the boss man can take over.

The West Coast Avengers chase after him, ascending a spiral staircase that leads up the mountain.

Since they have some time -- it is a rather tall staircase -- Hawkeye tells Hank he’s glad he’s back superheroing.

Tigra picks up the conversation and says that Hank was there for her when she was at her lowest point and is glad that someone was there for Hank.

Hank Pym: “Nobody’s gladder than me, Tigra! Things looked so dark and dismal at that moment, but look at all the brighter moments since -- the moments I would have missed!”

Tigra: “Thanks, Espirita!”

Yeah, thanks Espirita!

La Espirita: “Thank God -- he brought me there!”

Thanks God!

Hank clarifies to the group that he’s just going to be a superhero (although he calls it an adventurer) but he won’t use a codename or wear a costume.

Iron Man: “Costumes don’t mean anything, Avenger! It’s the man who counts! The only exception to those rules is Wonder Man!”

Wow, throwing shade at Wonder Man’s costume when he’s flying right next to you.

But Tony isn’t saying anything that everyone isn’t thinking. Wonder Man’s costume is an abomination.

Look at Hank having a laugh at Simon’s expense. Good to see him smiling again.

The Avengers and guests catch up to Sunstroke or rather he’s stopped running in a big machined room and told them “come and get me.”

Which is an obvious trap but superheroes love running into traps and they run right into Dominus who jumps out of a nook.

The Avengers aren’t exactly impressed because they just beat up an army of 49 mooks and Dominus probably doesn’t have another time machine to trick them with.

Dominus: “Ignorant fools! My race built an empire by enslaving lesser races with the master machine -- and each new race required specific improvements to the machine -- until the machine became so powerful -- it enslaved US! I am Dominus, but I am not this man! I am the MACHINE!”

The man has had basically no story except ‘like Lucifer’ but now he’s pulling a surprise twist when they don’t even know him enough to be surprised.

Anyway, he also blasts pink mind control energy at the Avengers. Plus guests.

Zordon was right.

Too much pink energy IS dangerous.

For reasons, Dominus couldn’t do this the first time the Avengers West Coast barged in. But now all eight of the intruders are under his control. Yup, his sensors indicate that specifically eight minds are under his control. Specifically.

Do you like the Discworld book Carpe Jungulum? I do.

But that’s apropos of nothing.

Tigra thinks that if she were still split between cat and human halves, she could fight against this but alas, she has integrated her selves into one.

With the Avengers and guests slumped and helpless under his control, Dominus, of course, monologues. Villains. Love to hear themselves talk. Et cetera.

Dominus: “The Arcane were the dominant life-form in the universe! When I, Dominus, succeeded in converting even them to my servitors -- I knew I would never again have to watch helplessly as fools like Lucifer failed to put me to proper use!”

Dominus sends Sunstroke off to go do some pre-discussed task while Dominus prepares to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

And then Moon Knight steps forward out of the pack of helpless heroes.

Steps forward and socks Dominus right in his head.

Dominus is baffled by how Moon Knight is fighting against him, especially since the sensors still read Moon Knight is under his control.

Moon Knight: “The Moon keeps one face always hidden, dear boy -- it doesn’t reveal its secrets!”

Dominus tries blasting Moon Knight with MORE pink mind control energy and he’s briefly affected but soon walks forward, saying it doesn’t work on him.

And Dominus flips his shit.

This cannot be, that sort of thing.

Dominus: “I’ve never failed! Not on a thousand worlds! The Arcane always improved me, to triumph over any adversary!”

Moon Knight: “You ain’t never met the fist o’ Khonshu, though!”

Dominus: “A god of the Moon can’t stop me! I’ve conquered whole worlds -- every kind of world -- ! I am all-powerful! I run an empire no one but me can ever guess at! I am DOMINUS!”

Moon Knight: “But I’m SLICK!”

You sure are, Moon Knight.

Dominus tries pulling out a science laser gun and shooting Moon Knight but the caped crusader just ducks under the blast and then grapples Dominus.

As he notes, Dominus is really remote controlling this body so there’s a bit of a lag between intention and action and that makes it hard to actually nail a moving target.

Dominus: “Why can’t I stop you? Why can’t I STOP you?!! WHY?!!”

And Dominus, who is the computer running everything, freaks out so much that the entire facility starts to explode.

Y’know. As one does.

And the Dominus puppet body just collapses.

So how did Moon Knight resist the powerful pink mind control?

He’s got three minds in his brain and Dominus only took over two before giving assuming Moon Knight was entirely immune.

I dunno how this kind of trope comes off on a mental health level but Discworld pulls a very similar trick with Agnes Nitt and her alter ego Perdita X. Dream. And Lapis Stevenuniverse being too depressed to be incapacitated by a depression beam. So I can’t hate it.

Since Moon Knight thinks Khonshu wants him to be an Avenger, he decides to not really explain what happened lest he freak them out with his three personalities thing.

So when La Espirita asks how he resisted the pink energy, he dodges the question by saying that if he explained it, Dominus would stop having a mental breakdown over being fallible.

And also that they need to run before the mountain collapses on them.

And almost as soon as they escape the evil lair, the mountain does collapse.

To reveal a not unphallic looking spaceship blast off with the core of Dominus inside.

Hawkeye orders the fliers Iron Man, Wonder Man, and La Espirita to stop Dominus’ penis rocket from escaping but it soon escapes the atmosphere and the heroes run into trouble.

At first, Iron Man assumes that La Espirita will have to turn back.

What with needing precious oxygen to live.

Except... she doesn’t? She can breathe in space.

Which she, of course, decides is a miracle.

Now here’s the womp womp moment.

Wonder Man can also breathe in space so he assumed no problem with pursuing the penis rocket into space.

But he forgot his back jets are jets, not rockets. So require oxygen to work.

And he goes plummeting back towards the ground, where he would make one chagrined crater.

But Iron Man (and also La Espirita, who’s not going to be the only nerd flying into space) give up pursuing Dominus. Iron Man catches Wonder Man, plays it off with a joke, and Wonder Man tears him a new asshole.

Wonder Man: “You -- you grandstander! It didn’t matter if I fell! I’m invulnerable!”

Iron Man: “Maybe you are! We’ve never seen you fall that far! If you were wrong -- !”

Wonder Man: “I’m not wrong!”

Iron Man: “Mister, you’re about as wrong as anybody I’ve ever met!”

The two stop fighting, only because La Espirita asks them not to argue in front of the others.

Hawkeye notices, but pretends he didn’t.

As far as he’s concerned, this mission was a big success. Sure, they loss Dominus but it’ll take him years to build back up if he comes back to Earth. And they lost Sunstroke but who cares?

SUCCESSFUL MISSION MEANS BARBECUE!

Hawkeye just really likes barbecue.

And he’s thrilled at all the possible new West Coast Avengers hanging around.

But later, when the Avengers retrieve their Quinjet from the Albuquerque airport - where its apparently been just racking in the parking fees - and return to the West Coast Avengers Compound, they find Menachim Heitz, the assistant to Wonder Man’s producer waiting for them.

The guy, with some glasses that can only be described as a fashion statement probably, is completely flustered that Wonder Man just vanished from the face of the Earth.

Menachim doesn’t have time to actually listen to Wonder Man’s thrilling tale of where he was because there’s a MAJOR PUBLIC RELATIONS DISASTER THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.

That being the public hates Wonder Man’s costume.

Hey!

Finally, the Marvel public has good opinions.

This is so funny. When the new costume was introduced, the book shilled it so hard. Big splash page opening to introduce it and everyone told Simon Wonder Man how cool his new outfit was.

But now, I’d bet, the reactions are in from the readers of the comic book, and they are underwhelmed. So suddenly Iron Man is making snide comments about what a terrible outfit it is and the public has voiced its outrage.

Its like when Danny Chase was introduced to the Teen Titans with much shilling but suddenly Wolfman started having everyone tell him he was a jerk. Nothing is sadder or funnier than the author turning against their own idea because of public opinion.

Wonder Man protests that his producer was the one who okayed the new costume and Menachim admits that it was a bad call but now time to go back to something like his previous outfit which people actually like.

Wonder Man also protests that HE likes his current outfit and the Avengers tries to get his back about how he can wear whatever dumb thing he wants but Simon snaps at them.

Wonder Man: “I have two careers, and I have to think of both of them... and I’m still learning the other one, so I need [Menachim’s] advice! And don’t look at me like that! None of you knows the other worlds I’m operating in now! When you co-star in an Arkon movie, then you can criticize me! And that especially means you, Leadhead! You can keep you advice!”

Hurt and confused by this, the Avengers just kind of shrug it off and tell Simon they’ll be at their celebratory barbecue.

While Wonder Man wonders (ha) aloud to Menachim if it isn’t time for him to leave the Avengers.

Dun dun dun!

Usually I’d say oh no but you’re being a pill, Simon, and we’ve got three people who can replace you. Maybe some time off will do you some good.

NEXT TIME, it would be another pair of crossing over annuals but now I’m way behind on East Coast Avengers and need to sync the books back up so I can do those crossing over annuals.

The work of a me is never done.