Kylux: "things you said after it was over." (idk why I wanna hurt myself either.)
(Again, like last time, this should not have taken as f***ing long as it did. Â Unfortunately, real life (specifically, a project at work that WILL NEVER END) has decided to constantly whup my ass.)Everything was going precisely as General Hux orderedit. Â The Finalizer was en route to the coordinates Snoke had sent them, toan old Sith Temple that centuries ago had been the mecca of dark side Forceusers. Â Snoke would be there, of course,along with the rest of the Knights of Ren and whatever First Order leaders andsympathizers felt the need to pay their respects. Â This would be the first time that Hux met theSupreme Leader in person, and not over a hologram. Â He just wished it were not due to thesecircumstances.âWe should reach the temple within two standard hours.â Â Hux announced to the bridge commanderstanding beside him, his eyes straight ahead. âI will be taking this time to pay my respects. Â Comm me if anything goes wrong.âWhen the commander affirmed the order and saluted him, Hux turned on his heelsand headed out of the bridge, down to the lower levels of the ship. Â His steps, quick and crisp while in thevantage of other officers, slowed down to a trudge as he approached a roomguarded by two Stormtroopers. Â Thegeneral found it nearly impossible to vocalize any sort of order when he facedhis underlings, so a shaky gesture was required to send the two troopers downthe hall for a bit. Â The last few stepsinto the chamber were so difficult, Hux wondered if the artificial gravity onboard had tripled, or even quadrupled. Still, he trudged on, knowing he had to do this now. Â He would lose his chance once the othermourners arrived, and certainly after the funeral service and cremation.Â
Kylo Ren lay in repose just inside the door. Â His glossy black coffin was indistinguishablefrom the polished floor, looking like the ground had rose up to swallow theKnight of Ren. Â His remains had been cleanedand dressed in new robes that lacked the burn marks and blaster fire holes thatcharacterized Renâs usual garments. Â Hismask had been replaced with a shinier, more ornate version, and he was posedwith his hands holding his lightsaber to his chest. Â It reminded Hux of his fatherâs funeral, and thestate funerals of the Galactic Empire. Â Everythingwas properly arranged and pristine, and he could almost recite from memory thestock speech Supreme Leader Snoke would likely give at the ceremony.Â
It was perfect.
It was also completely wrong.  Thetraditional funeral rites of the First Order had no room for idiosyncrasy oreven personality, and that was all Kylo Ren was.  If the officers of the First Order, Huxincluded, were a neatly manicured lawn, Ren was an invading kudzu weed.  His presence influenced and dominated everyaspect of the Order, both for good and for bad. He was the most visible part of Snokeâs ruleâŚand the most visible targetfor the Orderâs enemies.Hux leaned over the coffin and reached down, grasping the sides of Renâs maskand looking for the latch that his older one had.  There was none, so he pulled the helmet up,jostling it loose from whatever was keeping it in place.  A hastily called mortician had cleaned andembalmed the knightâs body, but no cosmetics were applied since Ren would bewearing a mask for the funeral.  Renâsface was pale, even blue-tinged in spots, the skin waxy and looking more like adollâs face than a humanâs.Â
For a moment, Hux wanted to put the helmet back on, topretend he never saw the other man like this. He was already desperately clinging to his memories of Ren as it was,and did not need the sight of the manâs corpse to remind him of what he hadlost. Â Nevertheless, this was his onechance to say his good-byes. Â Soon theFinalizer would land, the funeral would begin, and Hux would have to bury hisgrief in protocol and propriety, lest he embarrass his station.Â
Leaning over, he brushed a few stray locks of hair from Renâsface, his fingers lingering over cold skin and matted hair. He traced his indexfinger over the otherâs facial scar, going from brow to chin, remembering thatday, three months ago, when he got it. Â Hux had yelled at Ren in the medical bay for agood twenty minutes over it, how the knight had been so careless in engagingthe scavenger. Â Not that it did either ofthem any good, really.Â
Knowing he did not have much time left, the general silentlybraced himself and planted a kiss on the dead manâs forehead. Â It was an unpleasant sensation, at leastcompared to the wonder of kissing a warm, living-and-breathing Ren, but Huxforced himself to cope. Â It was agood-bye after all. Â A good-bye, and an expression of the one thing General Hux could never tellKylo Ren before.Â
I love you.
