#krss

The scraping of pencil to paper provided a white noise to his thoughts. Someone to share it with. Rogers smiled to himself, grateful his back was to Tilly as he started on a late snack for the two of them. She was sitting on one of his bar stools in an oversized shirt he’d lent her as a pajama top and a pair of leggings she’d received from Goodwill, making broad strokes over the paper as he debated on how many vegetables to sneak into their meal.

Strange to think how worried he’d been in the days leading up to Christmas, practically breaking out in a cold sweat as he debated on how much or how little to do, what to get, what to not get, whether anything was appropriate at all.

His worries had been pushed aside Christmas morning when his whirlwind of a roommate laid eyes on the few modest gifts perfectly organized under a two-foot tree settled on the coffee table.

“Well,” he said, shaking away the warm memory, “since we’re still firmly in the last day of this year, what would you like to do to give it a send off?”

“Dunno,” she replied, looking up. “Haven’t quite figured this year out yet. Can’t remember another one like it, really.”

Neither can I.

“Hopefully it’s at least ending on a good note.”

Tilly beamed, cheeks flushing. “The best.”

Rogers cleared his throat and went back to his task, willing away the pleased look he felt pulling at the corners of his mouth and the crinkles around his eyes. The best. Damn it all, the day could end now and he’d still feel the same. Well, not yet. There was still one little thing that had to be done. Or, rather, given. 

“You know, there’s no reason we can’t get out of the house.”

“You? Go out? For New Year’s? For fun? Detective, are you feeling alright?”

“Ha ha,” he retorted, rolling his eyes. “Funny. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we go out to some nightclub where they have a forty dollar cover charge or somewhere with a mediocre prix fixe menu—”

“Ah, there’s Rogers, I was worried we lost him for a moment.”

“Funny, Til.” The nickname rolled off too quick to catch. He chanced a glance at her, resolving to shove past the awkwardness when he caught a fond glint in her usually mischievous eyes. Damn it, something about it reminded him of someone… “I was just thinking that maybe it would do us both some good to get some fresh air. Maybe see the fireworks if we can find a place that’s—”

“Secluded from drunk crowds?”

“I was going to say quiet, but essentially yes. If you don’t want to, though…”

Tilly hopped from her barstool and half-skipped toward her room. “You had me at ‘fireworks’. I’ll be ready fast, quick as a bunny.”

There were perks to being a police officer. Knowing where to go and which buildings had rooftop access. Rogers had come to know the center of Seattle like the back of his hand, and his years serving through the insanity of New Year’s Eve had given him a unique understanding of where was close to the action but away from stumbling twenty-somethings in gold glittering party hats.

While Tilly had been busy getting ready, he’d put a couple of camping chairs he’d never had the chance to use and some refreshments into the trunk of his SS Chevelle, finishing the Tetris-ed pile off with one last belated Christmas gift. He’d even allowed a smug, self-satisfied smirk to grace his lips before his roommate bounced out to join him.

“Ready to say goodbye to this year?”

“More ready to say hello to the next one, I think,” he replied.

The drive was filled with the mixing of Tilly flipping through cassettes he kept in his glove box and her chattering about everything from books she was reading to the unbelievable things she had witnessed while people watching. Though he could have gone the rest of his life without knowing Mr. Harris the florist had a habit of speaking seductively to the bushes outside his store, the noise was a welcome reminder that this year was different.

He drove to an old retail building that had been part of his route for years. Back when he’d first started, he’d learned the various security codes and, he was ashamed to admit, had used the roof as a place to drink in seclusion. No time like New Year’s to give it a better purpose.

Piling everything he could into his arms until Tilly insisted she grab her fair share, Rogers led them up the the freight elevator then up the final flight of stairs to the roof. Seeing it now with sober eyes, he could see now how perfect a view it was with all of Seattle twinkling below.

“I’ve never been up this high before!”

He chuckled at the excitement in her voice as they unfolded the chairs and he took out a bottle of sparkling apple juice and paper cups. “Just please don’t try to jump off this one onto anywhere.”

“Yeah, I don’t fancy starting the year off as a pancake.”

“Glad we’re on the same page with that.”

Any quip she may have had caught in her throat as the hum of the city began to change. He glanced down at his phone in time to spot 11:58.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready,” she said, grinning like a cheshire cat.

He counted down at first in his head as the seconds on is phone ticked down. Then, he could hear the hum change to a unified voice, fuzzy from distance as tens of thousands of people began to count down to midnight. As they rose higher and higher, memories of the past year began to rush through his mind like a flipbook, the highs and lows mixing together until they settled on the moment that had mattered to him the most.

10. 9. 8.

How about you come stay with me for a while?

7. 6. 5.

I’d like that. Very much.

4. 3. 2.

Come on, then. Let’s go home.

1.

He looked next to him to see Tilly’s wide-eyed, beaming face as the clock struck midnight and an indescribable feeling surged through him. It wasn’t finding Eloise or being promoted or anything else that had stuck to him in those last seconds of the year, but offering a home to the wild, mischievous young woman sitting next to him, taking in the revelry below.

The pop of the first fireworks sent a shock through him, and together they watched them dance and light up the sky. A new year, this one with friends and something that could maybe, possibly, almost, one day be considered something like family.

His hand landed again on the gift in his pocket, playing with the corners of the wrapping paper with each explosion of light and color. At long last, the crackles and pops died away, leaving behind clouds of smoke and a dizzying feeling of newness and second chance.

“There’s one more gift I didn’t have the chance to give you yet for Christmas,” he started, pulling it out and handing it to her.

At first she simply sat there, stunned, focus darting between the cloudy remnants of the fireworks and the small package in her hands. “Detective, you didn’t have to. I mean, you’ve done enough. More than enough. Really—”

“One more thing couldn’t hurt. Besides, I think you could really use this. At least, I hope you can.”

She grinned and gave a little nod before she turned her attention to the gift like a cat laying its eyes on a ball of yarn. As she had done on Christmas, she tore into the paper with the feverishness of a child. When the last bit of tape was stripped away, a set of keys fell into her lap, earning a quizzical look.

“Ummm…” Tilly’s face journeyed from confusion to panic to sadness concealed with humor. “Did you get me a better lock on the boxcar door?”

Bloody hell. Of course she’d think something like that. 

Rogers quickly shook his head, hoping she could see his insistence in the city lights, all the more dim now without the sparkling of fireworks. “It’s a set of my apartment keys. I asked my landlord to get a new one for the front door, and the others are to the front door and mailbox. Just, well, it seemed like it was time for the place to feel like home to you, not just a place you were ‘crashing’ in, so to speak. I… well, I… I mean, if you want…”

He scratched the back of his ear, thinking and overthinking then analyzing his thoughts once again, when he felt a gentle hand rest on his left forearm. His eyes darted up, locking with hers that were glittering with emotion as her free hand toyed with the keys.

“Thank you. Really. Thank you so much.”

For a moment Rogers felt a lump settle in his throat then settle slowly into his chest, preventing him from speaking. Instead, he grabbed their paper cups and poured the sparkling juice, handing her one and keeping one for himself.

James shows up first, boxes piled in his arms that he sets down on the table.

"Thanks, brother, I really appreciate it."

His brother just smiles, shaking his head, then turns on his heels to get the rest of the boxes out of the car. By the time he makes it back up the steps, Matthew has started to dig through the boxes, finding the specific items he requested: pull-apart Twizzlers, bubble gum tape rolls, a bag of gummy bears, planks of chocolate molded to have wood grain, plus his share of the boxes of graham crackers and gingerbread that will be the main foundation of his piece.

Smiling, he pulls out his secret weapon, a special molded chocolate piece that he ordered on the internet. He hopes it's enough.

Tilly was not nervous. Absolutely not, no way.

She was a lot of other things-- excited, overwhelmed, thrilled, elated…

But nervous? Nope. Uh-uh.

Why would she be nervous? She's celebrated Christmas before.

So why is this year any different?

Looking down at her hand, her attention is caught by the sparkle of the multicolored lights strung around the doorway as they reflect in the bright diamond of the ring on her finger.

Right, that's why.

This isn't her first Christmas, her first holiday celebration. But it's her first holiday celebration that she's actually celebrating with Margot. Her first Christmas as a fiancee. The first Christmas where Margot will be celebrating not just with her, but with the Rogers brothers, too.

No, she is absolutely, definitely, positively not nervous.

That's probably why her hands are shaking so badly that the scissors slip out of her grip as they glide across the wrapping paper, somehow managing to spin around on the top of the table and slice open the pad of her thumb.

Great, just what she needs. Another injury, and on a night when she needs everything she has, a night when she has to beat Matthew.

After covering the cut with a band-aid to prevent the blood seeping from it from getting everywhere, Tilly adds the present to the box next to her.

She looks up at the clock: 3 o'clock, it reads. Margot will be home any minute, and then they can head to the Rogers' apartment. With her newly bandaged finger, she finishes wrapping the last of her presents and wedges them into the box.

Smiling, she turns towards one of the drawers in the kitchen, taking out the last things she needs for the competition tonight. She asked James for all of the basics: the boxes of graham crackers, a vat of vanilla icing and food coloring to make all the colors she needs. Edible grass. Crazy colored candy canes. Gummy worms. She even trusted him enough to ask for a deck of chocolate cards.  

But the gummy mushrooms and little tiny white chocolate flower arrangement that she ordered off the internet? She would trust the Rogers brothers with her life— has done so in the past— but with the secrets of her plan for this year’s Sculpting Competition?

That might be going a little too far.

It came to her in a dream just before thanksgiving, as weird as that all sounds. She had just finished reading Alice in Wonderland and Margot insisted that they watch the Disney animated movie.

It amazed her. So much different than the book, but it was beautiful. So many things stood out to her: the hookah-smoking caterpillar, the singing flowers, the bread-and-butterflies, the Queen of Hearts and her men as the deck of cards.

And then, that night, she had the dream: all of her favorite parts of the movie, recreated with graham crackers and candy.

It’s perfect. And exactly what she needs to beat Matthew this year, after that whole mansion landscape from last year. She needs to win, not only for herself, but for Margot. It’s more than enough for her that Margot actually wants to be with her, a miracle that she loves her as much as Tilly does. Has accepted her for who she is, quirks and all, and the weird little family that she’s built herself with James and Matthew.

It’s absolutely crazy, thinking that Margot might love her more if she wins tonight. But that doesn’t change the fact that she still wants to.

She’s standing in the kitchen, staring down at her engagement ring again when Margot comes through the door, tossing her backpack onto the chair next to the door.

“Merry Christmas eve!” Margot greets her, quickly taking the few steps between the door and the kitchen to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Merry Christmas eve!” Tilly says back, a smile spread across her face.

“Just give me a minute to change, and then we can head to the Rogers’, okay?”

Still smiling as Margot heads back towards the bedroom, Tilly decides that whether she wins tonight or not, she’ll still be happy. Nothing could ruin the happiness that she feels in this moment, finally able to celebrate Christmas with all of her favorite people.

But, of course, winning would help.

Matthew is practically bouncing off the walls by the time Tilly and Margot arrive, far too much tea and adrenaline running through his veins.

Sure, he’s a cop, deals with adrenaline all the time, but the excitement that comes from the Christmas Eve Competition is different than anything he experiences at work the rest of the year. That doesn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around Tilly in a tight hug, then Margot once she sets down the box of presents, and James does the same.

Then, once everyone is greeted and set, Matthew sets Margot and James at the counter, going over the guidelines with them all. Matthew gets the kitchen, Tilly gets the dining room. Absolutely no going between rooms for the two of them. If somehow, they’ve missed a supply they need, Margot and James are the only ones to go back and forth between the rooms. They start as soon as they’re ready, but there’s no strict ending time— they’ve never gone past 8, but this year might be the year that they have to.

The two of them start to separate their supplies, James handing back the lists they gave him three weeks before, and the distribution begins.

This year, it takes five hours, the longest one yet. The last piece Matthew puts in place is the chocolate helm, the focal point of his masterpiece for this year: a ship , complete with a full set of correct riggings and tissue paper sails. Sure, he might be playing to the judge: he knows his brother and the love for ships that runs through both of their veins, but he heard about this town that decorates model pirate ships for Christmas.

And he knew. He knew what he was going to do this year.

James walks back through the doorway, laughing at Matthew as he dips the paintbrush to put the name on the other side.

“Where did the name come from, little brother?”

“ Younger ,” Matthew says between gritted teeth, focused on the cursive letters on the chocolate. “And it just… I don’t know, came to me the other night. I wasn’t even planning on giving her a name, but I discovered this one, and it just clicked.”

Taking a step back, he licks the rest of the icing off the end of the paintbrush, then smiles over his creation at his brother.

The Jewel of the Realm.

“Very regal. I like it, though.”

Margot leans back against the doorway, pushing her glasses back up her nose. “Well, it's interesting, to say the least,” she says with a smile.

“But… impressive?” Matthew asks, poking for some kind of compliment.

Margot and James both lean back, arms crossed over their chests, and stare at the ship in front of them for a few moments.

“It is actually pretty cool,” Margot says, but James just smiles, shakes his head, and leaves the room.

For the perfection in the detail and execution of Matthew's Jewel of the Realm , Tilly's Wonderland scene has eye-catching color and interesting creativity that it somehow lacks. Both James and Margot have spent much of the past five hours watching her rotate between brushes and different forms of icing in rainbows of color, painting each different piece with the same eye for perfection that Matthew has, from the delicate flowers to the half-painted white chocolate rose bushes held by some of the playing cards.

It really is awe-inspiring, the amount of thought and detail she put into the entire scene to make it as close to the animated movie as she could possibly make it. The last piece she adds, just after Matthew finishes the cursive lettering on the side of his ship, is the mushroom topped with the brightly-colored caterpillar.

Then, also just as Matthew did, she holds her hands up, taking a step away from the table as she raises her eyes to the judges, smiling widely.

“Finished?” James asks, slowly walking around the table with Margot to take in the whole scene that she has laid out.

“Yes!”

“Excellent,” he replies, then, without taking his eyes off the table, he calls out, “Matthew, she's finished!”

Wiping his freshly-washed hands on his apron, Matthew strides through the curtain they hung over the doorway, but stops dead in his tracks when he sees what lies before him on the dining room table.

“Bloody hell,” he mumbles, eyes wide. “Tilly, love, this is incredible.”

Though she probably wouldn't have believed it possible, Matthew's compliment makes her smile grow wider.

“Thank you!”

They all take a few minutes to try to take in everything in Tilly's creation, their silence only broken by one of them asking a question or whispering some kind of exclamation under their breath. Margot notices the small hedgehog used as the croquet ball. James is incredibly impressed that all of the little flowers have even smaller faces.

Then, once they've all circled the table at least a dozen times, James leads them into the kitchen, giving Matthew's ship the same treatment. Margot asks if all the rigging is completely correct, and Matthew says it is, backed up by James’ agreement. She seems incredibly impressed. James notices the Jolly Roger drawn on one of the smaller tissue paper sails and lets out a soft chuckle.

“We have to decide on a winner,” James says, cocking his head back towards the dining room, and Margot follows him into the next room.

“Your detail here is exquisite, Matthew,” Tilly says after a few moments, leaning in closer to the side of the ship as she softly runs her fingers across the wood grain in the chocolate.

“Thanks, love,” he says, a nervous smile on his face. “Did you paint those flowers yourself?”

Tilly's smile is far from nervous. “Yes, I did. I've been studying pictures of those flowers since Thanksgiving, trying to dedicate them to memory.”

“They're perfect. The colors were fantastic.”

“And all of these ropes are… are where they're supposed to be?”

“Aye, they are. I thought I was going to run out of Twizzlers near the end, but somehow I made it.”

“That's incredible, truly. It looks to realistic.”

Matthew walks over to the tea kettle, pouring more water into his cup of tea, then stirring it before taking a careful sip of the water.

Another few moments of silence pass between them before James and Margot come back through the curtains, and both Matthew and Tilly turn quickly towards them.

“So, there's a first this year,” James says, the words coming out slow.

“And it's all my fault,” Margot adds.

“The judges couldn't come to a decision.”

Amazed by the turn of events playing out in front of them— not to mention what it means— Matthew and Tilly turn towards each other, eyes wide.

“So you're… You're both winners.”

“And it never would have happened with just one judge,” James says, smiling at Margot as he wraps his arm around her shoulders.

“And Tilly, just so you know, without your fiance here, you would have won.”

All three of them turn towards Margot, whose face turns bright red faster than she can try to hide it with her hands.

“You voted against me?” Tilly asks, her jaw dropping, but a smile spreads across Matthew's face.

“You voted for me?”

Margot drops her hands, then gestures towards Matthew's ship sitting on the counter. “Look at it!” she yells. “It's perfect! It doesn't even look like it's made out of chocolate!”

Matthew smiles at her compliment, not for the first time tonight, but then snaps his head towards his brother.

“You voted against me? Your own brother?”

James’ response is much less emotional than Margot's. “Yes, I did. Her entire creation was impeccable. Yours was excellent, as well, but hers… it's perfect.”

Matthew turns around to face the fridge and leans his forehead against it.

“What do we do when we both win?” Tilly asks, taking one of the extra candy canes on the small table and unwrapping it.

James just shrugs, a smile spreading across his face. “Well, if it were up to me, we would just eat candy, forget about this, and open our presents.”

Matthew lets out a loud sigh, making sure everyone knows how he feels about the subject. Beating Tilly was apparently more important to him than he thought.