#kotofvi

Kaguya has tried her hand at many different occupations--her most recent, and admittedly one she often found herself drifting back to over the centuries; being a doctor. Since the passing of her husband however, she'd left her hospital in more capable hands. It had been an unexpected offer in work, not one she needed but different.

Modeling. It wasn't anything scandalous--she'd looked into the name on the card and she hadn't minded it. The man, Strider-san... had a curious air about him, she sensed he wasn't mortal but beyond that, she did not know. His interest in her working for him felt puzzling but ( While she was aware of her looks she thought nothing of it) but he had offered it without hesitation, contract and all. It was different, and admittedly when busy on set she found herself forgetting her pains.

Her thoughts still felt shadowed by Mikado's passing, though she knew logically that she was still able to work--it was as if a cloud hovered over her, that came and went. Kaguya knew she had other priorities--one more precious and demanding then even the love and loss of her husband.

A whining cry registered into the air, causing Kaguya to blink and wave her hand to pause the photos when she turned her head to the sound. Nana, the caretaker she left responsible for the child, cooed at the baby in the carriage. Someone had woken up from her nap. Kaguya granted Strider a small apologetic smile before stepping off the set towards the stroller.

❝ I'm sorry Oujou-san, ❞ Nana apologized, rocking the stroller to lull the child. Kaguya reached down to cradle the precious girl, only a year old. ❝ It's alright baa-san, we were going to break soon anyway weren't we? ❞ Sakura's small fingers curled into her mother's hair, wide indigo eyes staring curiously at her surroundings. Kaguya allowed herself to smile, the earlier aches in her chest lightening. She wondered if her child was sensitive to her feelings.

❝ It's not like you to fuss little one. ❞ She smoothed her hand over the small girl's back, turning her slightly as Strider approached. Sakura clung to Kaguya's shoulders, giggling. ❝ Want to say hello to the boss? Say Hello dear.❞

       “  Had  enough,  I've  really  had  enough.  Had  enough  of  denial.  I'm  not  alright, but  I'm  not  gonna  lie,  I  don't  know  that  I  ever  was.  All  alone,  I've  waited...held  it  in  as  I  played by  his  rules. I've  been  biting my  lip,  but  I'm  losing my  grip  I'm  coming  down.. ”

Currently I’m at work, so I apologize if this is brief. I was inquiring as to why someone who was not involved in whatever happened, was not in the server at all, was utilizing a highly toxic way to go about it. I genuinely wished to know the reasons since call out culture is innately toxic and has hardly ever been used for a good reason beyond a one sided perception or just general hate and harassment. I myself was not there for what happened either but I tried to listen to all sides and mediate a calm environment so those who were hurt could be heard and understood. I offered ways to try and improve things but I could not say anything otherwise because I was not one of the hurt parties not was I there to begin with to know what happened first hand.

    BLUE hues blink several times at the sudden contact. Long dark purple lashes caressing the now squished flesh of her cheeks each time. But still her gaze remained locked on his features. Especially with him being taller than she was.

                                                            ❝ SHIRO? ❞

       Confusion in her voice even if it was hard to convey via expression at the moment. His NAME funny on her lips due to the way she was squished against the palm of his hands. 

            He hasn’t been around, he knows that, but he hopes he can find her--it wasn’t the fact he didn’t want to be here, it was more the fact that he was... having trouble getting away from the training he was having to do for the new recruits. Which meant staying on Oa rather than traveling here when he could get a chance. The first second he got, he took it to go back to Earth. Being short-handed on Lanterns meant they needed beings that were capable of going more frequently to emergencies. But he hadn’t taken a day off in quite a while. He really wanted to see a friendly face that wasn’t a lantern.

Lance hadn’t really meant to say all of that, NOT TO SHIRO. Not now of all times. Shiro had already been through so much, was still going through so much, to force all of his own problems and issues onto the other only made out to make Lance feel even worse. His guilt settling on his aching bones as he heaved, his chest burning from his exertion, from the bruises that were likely forming and taking root in his tanned flesh. He knew the other asked for it, KNEW that Shiro had wanted Lance to lean on him, to take his offer and UNLEASH whatever it was that was actually bothering him.

He never meant to actually do it.

Withholding a flinch as Shiro swooped down his level, taking his jaw in his hand once again and pushing upwards to make Lance look at him. He could feel the tears welling over his eyes, streaming down his cheeks and crashing against the others fingertips and he made no move to stop them. Surely at this point he didn’t know how, they’ve been there this whole time, under his JOKES and TEASING KEITH and his BRAVADO, he’s been crying, hasn’t he? Sealing them inside him as tightly as possible, even as he stay awake at night, restless despite his exhaustion, TERRIFIED of what was to come the next day. Would they ever make it home? Would he ever see his family again? Would he lose one of his newfound family tomorrow? What could HE do to protect them, truly?

Truth be told there were plenty of HORRIBLE WAYS that night could’ve gone differently, it didn’t take much to say that the Garrison had been covering up the Kerberos mission for YEARS. Never wanting to actually find the answers, or if they did, not liking what they found, never wanting to own up to the results. Them locking up Shiro would’ve been EASY, would’ve made the cover up that much easier. Keith would’ve been with him too, EASILY. Lance, Pidge and Hunk would’ve been given reprimands, probably even DISMISSED for this misconduct and being out after curfew.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Lance took a shaky breath, it was hard to argue with all of that. He just wished he believed it. Wished he thought that SHIRO believed it, despite the words leaving the other’s mouth now, DOUBT was still present in Lance’s mind, prevalent above everything else. “’M sorry, Shiro,” His voice was quiet, hoarse from his tears, from the screaming he’d been doing over the past (how long had he been in here? Hours? All day? What time even was it - ?) SEVERAL HOURS. He shook his head slightly, as much as he could while his face was framed by the others hands.

A scoff of laughter at his own pitifulness, but there was no humor on his face, “You’ve got plenty of other things to do than CHEER ME UP, huh,” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement as he lowered his gaze again. After some long speech like that, Lance wasn’t sure how to feel about himself, about his life, his feelings of FAILURE and LOST EXPECTATIONS.

‘I CAN’T FORGIVE WHOEVER TOLD YOU YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH’

Shiro’s words bounced around his head now, akin to how Iverson’s had been earlier today, what had started this whole mess to begin with. But funny how they parallel eachother, Shiro’s words versus Iverson’s, now both take root within the other’s thoughts but on two very different sides of the spectrum. One was harsh and cruel, not just to the boy they were said TO but also the boy they had made mention OF. Making sure Lance knew that he DIDN’T REALLY have a place in that course, that he never really stood a chance, that he was BOTTOM OF THE BARREL and he better know that. Versus Shiro’s words. . . Words that really seemed to care about him, wanted to uplift him and bring him back from this PIT he has swallowed himself in,

     Centuries, it had seemed that beings seemed to see him.. some blamed him for the bad that happened in their lives, though he did quite literally.. nothing to them. Which was why he tried so hard on so many occasions to make sure they had not seen him.. though it was his job to warn them when ill was about to happen to their loved ones.. many of them thought that he would be the reason for their loved ones demise but that could not be further from the truth. He could sense when people that were near him had those near death; he was a messenger.. a guide... but sometimes people saw him even without that necessity.