you know, the kaiju no. 8 b-side is great and all (i still think it should have been incorporated into the main manga, that mightāve fixed some pacing issues, boo publishing deadlines), but i feel like i donāt see that much discussion digging into why narumi hates people caring more about effort than results (maybe iāve just missed it, or maybe itās obvious to people and spelling it out in an extremely long rant is unnecessary but whatever)
like, in my mind, the very pragmatic thought process of āresults are the only things that matter, effort is inconsequentialā is a conviction that narumi hides behind rather than something he actually believes deep down - the manga, b-side and even kn8 game all include content that shows that narumi (not so) secretly works very, very hard. the b-side shoves that in your face, actually. itās also a very immature take, one that narumi developed as an actual child. like, of course effort matters. itās what allows you improve. skill alone wonāt get you far. plus, trying something difficult and pushing through it is a skill in itself.
but for narumi, itās easier - or maybe even psychologically essential - to hide behind the belief that effort means nothing, because if effort *does* mean something, then he has to acknowledge and sit with the fact that it was *his* effort specifically that meant nothing to others as a child, because *he* meant nothing to others. the families of the kids he outcompeted didnāt care whether their kid was the best, they just wanted to support and love their child. but nobody did that for narumi: nobody cared if he tried, nobody cared if he worked hard, no one even cared that he was the best - because no one cared about *him*.
that must be absolutely soul crushing to think about - iād run from that thought too if iād grown up like that. so rather than live the lonely narrative of āliterally nobody loved me enough to look at me no matter how good i wasā, he created the narrative āthe world is stupid for caring more about whether you try than if you succeedā to explain his life, and holds onto that narrative like his life depends on it.
iām not saying narumiās conviction is entirely invented/self-protecting. if you try and still canāt produce results, then you donāt belong in his division (because youāll fucking die), and i do believe he doesnāt care about someoneās manners or grace or cleanliness. but i donāt believe heās being entirely honest with himself about why he hates being seen working hardā¦it must be humiliating to try so, so hard and have no one care, and he lived like that for all his formative years.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT ABOUT ISAO AND HOW HES NOT NECESSARILY ALL WISE AND SMART but this post is already too long so iām gonna make a separate one
