#kisuke

"Kisuke?" You approached him timidly.

"Hm?" He was only half paying attention, busy at work on something in his shop.

Here it goes. Fear caught the words in your throat, but you forced it down, swallowing hard. "Would you want to try that thing you've been mentioning?" Hesitation, and then, "you know, sit - sitting on your face?"

At the sound of that, he perked up, nearly letting what he was doing clatter to the ground. After almost dropping a handful of gadgets, he carelessly tossed them aside, turning his body square with yours. "Right now? You're serious?"

You took a step back. "If you're too busy-"

He grabbed your waist, pulling you back in. "Never too busy for you, sweet cheeks." He grinned. "Especially if it's for that. I'm just a little surprised. What made you finally come around to the idea?" He was swaying you in his hold, his tone flirtatious, setting butterflies loose in your stomach (and pussy).

You shrugged. "It makes me nervous, but I want to try it. I can't be a scaredy cat forever, can I?"

"Cutie," Kisuke mused, dipping his head to nuzzle his nose against yours, his hat poking your head. He took it off and held it to his chest earnestly. "You have nothing to fear. I'm gonna make it worth your while. You know I will, yeah?"

"Mhm." You nodded, reminiscing on your previous escapades with him. He never fell short of satisfying you, that's for sure. You simply worried you weren't going to be enough for him. Or too much.

But to be so insecure with your goofy, eccentric, open-minded boyfriend, it was nonsense. You weren't going to let it dictate your experiences, especially when there were so many delicious ones to be had.

"Let's quit wasting time hangin' around here then." He whisked you inside, headed for the bedroom, unable to contain his eagerness.

This wasn't your first tango with Kisuke. You comfortably got undressed with him, ending up bare in his lap, drooling into his mouth at the feeling of your flesh against his, your curves soft amongst his chiseled figure. Everything was going fine, and you were dripping without even needing him to touch you down there. Everything was going fine until he was pulling away from your lips and laying back, getting into position.

Your mind immediately started to conjure worst case scenarios; suffocating him, injuring his neck, anything and everything that absolutely wouldn't happened but that still held so much power over you. It made you want to back out, to change your mind. Seeing him look up at you with that lazy smile that was so different from the panic settling into your features, panic that was quickly dissolving your pleasure, made you climb out of his lap and kneel at his side, covering your chest.

"Uh oh." He raised his eyebrows. "What's going on?"

"You're sure it won't be too much?" You fretted, arms curling tighter around yourself. "I won't be too heavy?"

"Don't worry about me." He laid a hand on your thigh, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "I think I'm definitely more excited for this than you are," he chuckled, gesturing to his hardening cock.

It was enough to make you giggle for a moment, but as soon as you were looking back at his handsome face, worrying about being on top of it, you couldn't budge.

"I can handle it just fine, angel," he continued to talk you down from your anxiety gently, though you could sense his patience was running thin with the way he groped your thigh. "Don't look so worried. Just relax and enjoy it. Can you do that for me?"

You sighed, too quiet for him to hear. "I'll do my best."

"As will I. I don't think you'll have an issue once we get into it." He smirked suggestively.

You still didn't move, brows crinkled and mouth pulled into a frown.

In his expectant stare, you could see the gears turning in his head. Kisuke thought back to the first few times you laid with him, how you were just as shy and reluctant. He'd gotten you out of your comfort zone before, and he could do it again. "Want me to get the lights?"

You nodded eagerly. A little darkness could definitely help. That way you wouldn't have to see clearly how vulgar your thighs looked around his head.

"You got it, pretty." He shot up and gave you a rushed kiss on the cheek before bouncing off of the bed, hitting the lights and plunging the room into darkness, nothing but the moonlight to guide the way.

You dropped your arms back to your sides, breathing a little easier as Kisuke got back into bed, resuming his position. There was a peacefulness, a safety that came with the darkness at a time like this. Your racing heart was slowing. You climbed back over him, straddling his lap, stealing some more kisses before it came time to place another pair of lips on his.

He was groaning impatiently, trying to keep his hips down from grinding up into yours. You lifted your head and started to crawl upwards, attempting to smoothly transition into the deed. You dared a glimpse down at Kisuke, who was smiling like a kid in a candy store.

"Ready?" You giggled at him.

"So fucking ready baby." He snaked his hands around your thighs.

You inhaled sharply, closing the distance and lowering yourself down.

You hadn't put your full weight down yet. His nuzzling into you from below, warm, wet tongue delving into your folds, was a shocking jolt to your system. You gasped and twitched, subconsciously lifting away slightly, running from his tongue.

"All the way down," he ordered from beneath you, his deep voice vibrating through your core.

"But-!"

His fingers dug into your thighs, a silent warning. He wasn't a punishing lover by any means, but he made it known that he didn't like to be disobeyed.

You worried for him, but orders were orders. You sank down, finally fully sitting on his face. He hummed contentedly below you, going back to making out with your soaking cunt.

Your nerves were quickly replaced by your pleasure, and sitting atop him now, it felt silly to ever be afraid of doing such a thing. This was Kisuke. Where you were now felt like where you were always meant to be with him. You had thought it unnatural, but with his tongue diving in and out of you, you felt closer to nature than ever, an animalistic desire springing to life from within.

He devoured you with that same wild energy, a predator sucking the life from its prey. Your whimpers and pants fueled him to suck your clit and tongue-fuck you hungrily. It was his personal heaven to have you on top, but still his little plaything, making a mess on his face, but still a mess yourself, losing control when you normally held onto such a thing with a vise grip. He liked to be able to take care of you in this way. It was everything he imagined and more.

Your own mind was blown, waves of pleasure racking through your body. Without meaning to, you caught yourself rolling your hips against his face, stopping and stilling out of decency. But Kisuke didn't want you to be decent. He was blindly fumbling for your hip, pulling on you to encourage you to keep riding his face, to use him to seek out your own pleasure. With his permission, you continued to hump his mouth, white-knuckling the headboard for support. He was humming and groaning against you, sending new waves scattering through your torso.

Your thighs were trembling around his head, upper body falling forward as you struggled to keep upright. The longer he relentlessly carried on, the more desperate you became, tugging on his blonde locks, dragging your slick against his lips with fervor. He never once let up, even as you drenched the entirety of his mouth, chin, his stubble, everywhere. If he was struggling, he didn't let it show in the slightest, taking it like a man.

Heat and pressure churned in your abdomen, making you sweat and taking the sense out of you. You had been reborn, an entirely different person from the one you were earlier. The shy girl had been replaced by one who was crying loudly and shamelessly, fucking her boyfriend's face with a longing to cum. It made Kisuke's own private area twitch, his tip swollen and leaky, imagining the feel of your sopping cunt around it. His hips were lifting on their own accord, flinching each time you sobbed out a moan. It was agony and ecstasy at the same time, feeling your pussy throb against his tongue, hearing you approaching your climax, but denying his cock the experience.

Your body shuddered and weakened with your orgasm, arms hanging like jelly against the headboard. So as not to suffocate him completely by falling over him, you dismounted from your position atop his head, unceremoniously collapsing at his side with a mess between your legs. His face was even worse, glistening with your essence as he gasped for air, but he was smiling stupidly, triumphantly, drunk off of your pussy.

"My cutie scaredy cat," he said huskily with labored breaths. "You did so good."

You melted at his praise, snuggling into him and whining shyly into his neck. "Felt so good, Kisuke," you mumbled. "Thank you for taking such good care of me. It wasn't too difficult for you?"

"Difficult? You kiddin' me?" He chuckled smugly. "That's my new happy place, so I hope you're not pretending that you enjoyed it. We'll be having a lot more of that now that you're acquainted with it."

"Oh, I think I'm more than acquainted." You laughed elatedly. "Maybe next time I'll let you leave the lights on."

"Good. Want to get a good view of my pretty lady and her pretty pussy." He winked.

The way he said it with such casualness, it made you want to give him that view right now. Your eyes drifted down to his dick, still somewhat hard and neglected.

"Have energy for round two?" You were surprised to hear yourself say. It was your pussy talking for sure. "I can turn the lights on and get back on top," you suggested. "But this time, I can give you some help with that." You nodded towards his length.

Kisuke easily picked up what you were putting down, eyes widening, he couldn't be more excited that he was going to have you sitting on his face twice in one night and once in the 69 position. He groaned and cursed under his breath. "You're killin' me. Of course I've got energy for round two. Just don't be surprised if I cum quick. He's been through a lot already." He gestured between his thighs.

"We can make it a fun little game." You grinned deviously. "Who can make the other cum first?"

You weren’t ever sure if Kisuke loved you.

It was hard, sometimes, to understand what he was feeling. As a man of science, Kisuke was always focused on what was sure, what could be proven and measured and understood. But, feelings? Goodness, you weren’t sure if they were even an equation he wanted to attempt to understand. You weren’t sure if he didn’t understand his feelings, or if you didn’t understand his, hiding under a guise of the love you so ever wanted it to be.

He was soft sometimes, understanding. He checked up on you and gave you gentle kisses that made your heart squeeze in your chest and every time you would see each other again, every moment would feel special…

To you, anyway. You weren’t sure if Kisuke felt the same.

You just wished he would say something, anything to heal this doubt clawing at your mind.

—--------------------

“The same color, never intersecting. Love that isn’t said is the same as not existing.”

—--------------------

Even now, as you sit in the front of Urahara’s shop, the doors open to let the night breeze in and your knees pulled to your chest, you can’t stop worrying. With Kisuke being banished, the strain on your relationship was intensified x10. Visiting the World of the Living came with its fair share of risks and questions from your captain, and worst of all…it didn’t happen much.

When you first started…whatever this was, he was communicating with you often, asking you if you could make time, that he wanted to spend every moment he could with you, even if it wasn’t long.

Now, communication has slowed to a trickle, like a broken sink before someone comes in and just fixes it. When you see him, it’s not many words either, just rushed kisses and eager hands. You adore him, you really do, and sleeping with him is always something you crave, but you long for something a bit more from him. The sweet words and soft confessions that come after when you’re wrapped in his arms and weighted with sleep, the three words you’re so hoping are sitting on the tip of his tongue every time he looks at you.

But, you have yet to get them. And sometimes, it makes you hate him.

It makes you angry, that your feelings for him are overwhelming, occupying your mind and drowning you in your thoughts. That you wait for him to reach for you as you hold out your hand, your arm beginning to cramp.

It makes you hate him, sometimes, when he seems to care more for science than you. And yet, you can’t help coming back.

You can’t help yourself from loving him.

You let out a sigh, looking down at your hands as a flower twirls in your fingers. It’s a simple clematis patens you picked along the grass around his shop when you first arrived. Flowers in the World of the Living feel to bloom much brighter than those in the Soul Society, and it gives you a sense of hope, a profound sense of beauty.

You think for a moment, wondering if the idea was silly. You’d heard of using the petals of flowers to tell romantic futures in the World of the Living, and the idea, ever juvenile, appealed to you now.

You think for a moment before tugging at a petal and watching it fall to the ground, it’s white petal reflecting brightly off the illumination of the moon. “He loves me.” You breathe out gently, before plucking out another petal. “He loves me not.” I hate him for it.

As each petal falls from the ground, the plant so soft and delicate between your fingers, your stomach lurks with dread. It’s just a silly game, something humans make themselves believe in to feel better. Feelings were not dictated by some random flower.

And yet, you picked another one and watched it fall. “He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me…”

—--------------------

“Maybe I should try flower fortune-telling (Love? Hate? Love? Hate?). If it's fortune-telling about you, then I'm always (I hate you, I hate you). But, I love you.”

—--------------------

“What are you doing?” Kisuke’s soft voice carries through the night air, gentle with a soft hint of tease. “It’s chilly out here, dear. I’m surprised you can move.”

You turn to look at him and smile, trying to hide the half picked flower. “Hey, Kisuke. I was just…getting some fresh air. It’s a nice night.” You feel heat creeping through your skin at the comment. It was another night where he did indeed show you he had missed you, leaving your legs quit shaky and your body buzzing with pleasure.

And even as your eyes scan over his half open robe and his shaggy blond hair pushed back from his adorable face just a little, you feel the soft thrum of attraction inside you. But there’s something more overshadowing it now. Something intense and heavy settling in your gut.

The craving to know.

To understand what he feels, what he feels when he looks at you, what he sees when he smiles at you. If he misses you, craves your affection as much as you crave his.

He notices you staring and he offers you an awkward laugh. “What? Can I join you?”

You blink for a second before nodding. Kisuke comes over and settles down next to you, his shoulder brushing against yours and your stomach blooms with the oh so familiar flowery feeling. His clothes are warm, and his closeness makes the chill of the night air flow a little bit warmer.

You sit in silence for a little, listening to the soft sounds of his breath and the chirp of the crickets outside. You aren’t sure what to say, whether to bring up what you’ve been feeling…The clematis twirls in your fingers still, hidden at your side as you look out into the night, at the twinkling stars and the glowing moon reflecting off your skin.

“What’s on your mind?” Kisuke interjects and you pause. “I can tell something is going on in that brain of yours.”

—--------------------

“I want you to tell me, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it!" I want to be softly whispered it right next to me. Since, "The moon is beautiful" isn't for me, then just for tonight.”

—--------------------

You turn to look at him, at the soft droop of his eyes and the soft smile tugging at his lips. And for some reason, you crave nothing more than to just spill out your heart to him. But, you reign yourself in.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You mumble, meeting his gaze. “Since we’ve seen each other.”

Kisuke, ever the observant one, catches something. Maybe it’s the way your voice dips, or your eyebrows crease, or you slight flicker of your eyes. He knows something is wrong. “It has. I’ve been busy with my work.”

You nod, it’s slow and understanding but you can’t help the curl of anger in your gut. He’s doing what he loves, what he’s always done. You shouldn’t feel angry.

But you can’t help it. Just a little.

“Right. I know.” You say before pausing, wondering if you should say more. “‘I’ve missed you.” You go with.

Kisuke pauses, staring at you a bit longer. “I’ve missed you too.” When he doesn’t see your face change, he frowns. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

You purse your lips. You want to shout it from the rooftops, as loud as you must so he’d hear and understand it: “Why can’t you tell me if you love me?” “Just feeling a little confused, is all.”

You turn your head back to the stars, to the bright moon mocking you with it’s beauty, it’s wholeness. Kisuke stares at you and you feel his knowing gaze on you, and you can almost hear the thoughts clicking through his mind, every word he may say, calculated and measured and sure.

He lets out a sigh and turns to face the moon with you, and you can’t help yourself as you sneak a glance, watching the moon illuminate his bright skin and his kind face. In this moment, he has never looked more beautiful.

You turn away and settle on your hands, the clematis continuing to rest in the fingers of your one hand obstructed from his view. Then, you feel the warmth of Kisuke’s fingers settle on top of your hand closest to him and you pause, wondering what it meant.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it, my dear?” He says gently. “It always is.”

Your heart seems to stop in the moment, the world slowing down to a stillness that threatens to overtake you, that makes your mind slow to putty. You watch with wide eyes, time moving slowly as Kisuke turns to look at you, a big, soft smile on his face that crinkles the corners of his eyes. “And I’m an idiot, I suppose, for not letting you know sooner.”

Your heart feels like it’s breaking and repairing, over and over and over again. Becoming something new, something whole, surrounding him and these feelings that claw at you. The clematis drops from your fingers and you sit up straighter and look Kisuke in the eyes, tears welling in your own.

You turn your palm up to thread your fingers. “I think it’s beautiful too.” You whisper back. Kisuke smiles and tugs you so you’re against his side and your head resting on his chest. He places a kiss to the top of your head and breathes you in.

You aren’t sure if you’re imagining this, if he doesn’t mean what you think he does, or if he just said this all to make you feel better. But you know that at this moment, there is nothing weighing on your mind or pounding at your heart.

And the craving you’ve been chasing after, is finally yours.

—--------------------

“Then just for tonight, try loving me, please?”

—--------------------