#kisuke

Kisuke smiled to himself when he woke to see you still fast asleep beside him. The blanket had slid completely from his body only to be taken by you(this was a nightly occurrence). Your face could barely be seen through the sea of bedsheets but what he could see was peaceful and gorgeous.

The mattress dipped under his weight subtly when he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your forehead.

He forced himself out of bed, determined to make you breakfast in bed. It was your birthday after all, he had to make it special. If it were up to him, every day would be special but you made it very clear that you didn't want that. So what if he went all out? His love for you was intense and he enjoyed pampering you.

Kisuke disappeared out of the room and left you sleeping alone.

When you opened your eyes you noticed the bed beside you was still warm but it was empty. The only evidence of your excitable boyfriend was the distant scent of eggs and bacon wafting from the kitchen.

A couple minutes passed and Kisuke appeared in the doorway to your shared room. He wore nothing but a cooking apron and a chef's hat(where did he even get those? Honestly, you knew better than to ask questions at this point.) and he held a tray of food in his hands. Atop the tray was a bit of all your favourite breakfast foods and a tall glass of orange juice.

"happy birthday my sweet!" He exclaimed before closing the gap between the two of you.

Sitting up and allowing the blanket to fall over your body, you couldn't help being drawn to the small tuft of chest hair he had been sporting recently.

"My eyes are up here." He teased before passing you the tray of food.

"Thank you, baby. I can't help but notice you're naked under that little apron." You murmured and Kisuke clicked his tongue three times before shaking his head.

"don't sexualize me, just eat your breakfast, please?" Kisuke responded with a sly grin on his face.

Sitting the tray on your lap, you began eating your breakfast. Kisuke watched you intently, it was as if his life rode on the fact that you had to love his food.

Once you finished your food, Kisuke collected your empty dishes and walked back out of the room. You giggled at the sight of his bare ass cheeks when he walked away from you.

When he returned once more(still wearing nothing but that same apron) he sat beside you on the bed and kissed you softly on the cheek.

"What did you want to do today?" He asked

"can we just spend the day in bed together? Maybe watch a movie or two?" You asked sheepishly and Kisuke nodded.

"Of course, sweetheart! Whatever you want you get, it's your birthday." Kisuke said with a wink that made your stomach do backflips.

The two of you laid back against the headboard of the bed, his arm wrapped around your shoulders while he scooped up the remote for your tv that hung on the wall.

You leaned closer into his chest and felt the gentle rise of his chest. He thumb worked over the remote while the two of you mindlessly discussed what you would watch.

"Can we rewatch jjk0?" You asked shamelessly, you'd probably seen that damn movie 6 times in the last month but Kisuke nodded.

"Of course we can!" He exclaimed and as he uses the tv remote to type in the title a huge smile appeared on your face. You appreciated how patient he was with you and your hobbies. He was happy as long as he was around you and you were happy when you could share your favorite things with him.

The movie ticked while Kisuke ran his hands up and down the side of your body. His presence was so warm and welcoming, you were forever grateful you walked into that candy store all those years ago.

Kisuke sat up and gently moved your head to the pillow, wordlessly he lifted the bedsheets up and began disappearing under the blankets.

"Babe? What are you doing?" You asked but the way you rubbed your thighs together told him you knew exactly what he was planning.

"Keep watching the movie, angel." His voice came out muffled and when he hooked a single finger in the waistband of your pants he chuckled at the way your body twitched in response. He began sliding your pants down and instinctively, you lifted your hips for him to yank them down the rest of the way. Your eyes remained focused on the movie but your mind was elsewhere. Your attention was focused on how warm he felt so close to your core but still covered by the thin layer of cotton panties. Kisuke hummed to himself while he kissed your inner thigh so softly you almost questioned whether or not he was actually there or not. Your walls clenched around nothing in anticipation as he began kissing lower and lower, leaving wet marks on your inner thighs as he continued his lazy descent.

Your panties were soaked by this point, a large dark patch in the centre of the grey material. Kisuke wasn't done teasing you yet, he nudged his nose up against the growing wet spot in your panties. A gasp left your lips and a chuckle left his.

Kisuke pressed his lips to your throbbing clit from the outside of your panties.

"Mmph!" You whined when he sucked on your clothed clit.

"Kisuke! Stop teasing, please, it's not fair." You pleaded and a cruel laugh left your boyfriend's lips.

"Sorry, my dear...You're just too cute not to tease a little." His voice came out as a growl when he spoke and it made your clit flutter. Kisuke hooked his finger into the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them down. Just like before, you lifted your hips and he removed them with ease.

Your legs parted on instinct and his warm breath fanned over your aching pussy.

"There we go...Happy birthday again, sweetheart." Kisuke cooed before swiping his tongue along your slit. A whimper left your lips as you continued to try and focus on the movie.

All that focus went out the window when he attached his tongue to your clit and sucked intently.

"Ah!" You groaned and arched your back at the intensity.

A single one of his long fingers slid its way through your walls with ease and curled in just the right spot.

"Oh, god." You moaned softly and Kisuke swapped between sucking your clit and licking it. He knew your body better than you did at this point so he knew exactly what you liked and he had your pussy mapped out completely. He knew exactly where to find your g-spot.

Kisuke rolled his tongue over the top of your hardened clit, his breath becoming ragged and uneven.

A second finger found your syrupy cunt, sliding in to meet the other one and a gutteral moan left your lips at the gentle stretch.

His tongue found a relentless pace that matched the speed of his fingers inside of you. You were all moans, whimpers and gasps at that point and Kisuke loved it. He loved how he could make you lose yourself to his mouth and fingers, every time. Your arousal leaked from your clenching pussy and pooled on the sheets beneath you.

A familiar warmth began building and building inside you and your moans became desperate. Kisuke knew you were close by the way you were squeezing him and when your back arched off the bed he knew he was right.

"Right there!" You pleaded and when your pussy pulsed around his fingers you couldn't hold back your cries. Your legs twitched around his face and without warning, they clamped around him. A startled groan left his throat while he rode out your orgasm. Your cunt gushed and leaked down his chin but he didn't mind, it turned him on more than anything.

He slid his fingers from your poor, sensitive pussy as his tongue licked you through your aftershocks. A huge sigh of relief fell from you and Kisuke gave your clit one last little kiss before crawling out of the blankets. His hair was disheveled , his lips were puffy and his chin was drenched in your essence. He took one look at your glassy eyes and knew he'd achieved his goal of making you feel good on your birthday.

You weren’t ever sure if Kisuke loved you.

It was hard, sometimes, to understand what he was feeling. As a man of science, Kisuke was always focused on what was sure, what could be proven and measured and understood. But, feelings? Goodness, you weren’t sure if they were even an equation he wanted to attempt to understand. You weren’t sure if he didn’t understand his feelings, or if you didn’t understand his, hiding under a guise of the love you so ever wanted it to be.

He was soft sometimes, understanding. He checked up on you and gave you gentle kisses that made your heart squeeze in your chest and every time you would see each other again, every moment would feel special…

To you, anyway. You weren’t sure if Kisuke felt the same.

You just wished he would say something, anything to heal this doubt clawing at your mind.

—--------------------

“The same color, never intersecting. Love that isn’t said is the same as not existing.”

—--------------------

Even now, as you sit in the front of Urahara’s shop, the doors open to let the night breeze in and your knees pulled to your chest, you can’t stop worrying. With Kisuke being banished, the strain on your relationship was intensified x10. Visiting the World of the Living came with its fair share of risks and questions from your captain, and worst of all…it didn’t happen much.

When you first started…whatever this was, he was communicating with you often, asking you if you could make time, that he wanted to spend every moment he could with you, even if it wasn’t long.

Now, communication has slowed to a trickle, like a broken sink before someone comes in and just fixes it. When you see him, it’s not many words either, just rushed kisses and eager hands. You adore him, you really do, and sleeping with him is always something you crave, but you long for something a bit more from him. The sweet words and soft confessions that come after when you’re wrapped in his arms and weighted with sleep, the three words you’re so hoping are sitting on the tip of his tongue every time he looks at you.

But, you have yet to get them. And sometimes, it makes you hate him.

It makes you angry, that your feelings for him are overwhelming, occupying your mind and drowning you in your thoughts. That you wait for him to reach for you as you hold out your hand, your arm beginning to cramp.

It makes you hate him, sometimes, when he seems to care more for science than you. And yet, you can’t help coming back.

You can’t help yourself from loving him.

You let out a sigh, looking down at your hands as a flower twirls in your fingers. It’s a simple clematis patens you picked along the grass around his shop when you first arrived. Flowers in the World of the Living feel to bloom much brighter than those in the Soul Society, and it gives you a sense of hope, a profound sense of beauty.

You think for a moment, wondering if the idea was silly. You’d heard of using the petals of flowers to tell romantic futures in the World of the Living, and the idea, ever juvenile, appealed to you now.

You think for a moment before tugging at a petal and watching it fall to the ground, it’s white petal reflecting brightly off the illumination of the moon. “He loves me.” You breathe out gently, before plucking out another petal. “He loves me not.” I hate him for it.

As each petal falls from the ground, the plant so soft and delicate between your fingers, your stomach lurks with dread. It’s just a silly game, something humans make themselves believe in to feel better. Feelings were not dictated by some random flower.

And yet, you picked another one and watched it fall. “He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me…”

—--------------------

“Maybe I should try flower fortune-telling (Love? Hate? Love? Hate?). If it's fortune-telling about you, then I'm always (I hate you, I hate you). But, I love you.”

—--------------------

“What are you doing?” Kisuke’s soft voice carries through the night air, gentle with a soft hint of tease. “It’s chilly out here, dear. I’m surprised you can move.”

You turn to look at him and smile, trying to hide the half picked flower. “Hey, Kisuke. I was just…getting some fresh air. It’s a nice night.” You feel heat creeping through your skin at the comment. It was another night where he did indeed show you he had missed you, leaving your legs quit shaky and your body buzzing with pleasure.

And even as your eyes scan over his half open robe and his shaggy blond hair pushed back from his adorable face just a little, you feel the soft thrum of attraction inside you. But there’s something more overshadowing it now. Something intense and heavy settling in your gut.

The craving to know.

To understand what he feels, what he feels when he looks at you, what he sees when he smiles at you. If he misses you, craves your affection as much as you crave his.

He notices you staring and he offers you an awkward laugh. “What? Can I join you?”

You blink for a second before nodding. Kisuke comes over and settles down next to you, his shoulder brushing against yours and your stomach blooms with the oh so familiar flowery feeling. His clothes are warm, and his closeness makes the chill of the night air flow a little bit warmer.

You sit in silence for a little, listening to the soft sounds of his breath and the chirp of the crickets outside. You aren’t sure what to say, whether to bring up what you’ve been feeling…The clematis twirls in your fingers still, hidden at your side as you look out into the night, at the twinkling stars and the glowing moon reflecting off your skin.

“What’s on your mind?” Kisuke interjects and you pause. “I can tell something is going on in that brain of yours.”

—--------------------

“I want you to tell me, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it!" I want to be softly whispered it right next to me. Since, "The moon is beautiful" isn't for me, then just for tonight.”

—--------------------

You turn to look at him, at the soft droop of his eyes and the soft smile tugging at his lips. And for some reason, you crave nothing more than to just spill out your heart to him. But, you reign yourself in.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You mumble, meeting his gaze. “Since we’ve seen each other.”

Kisuke, ever the observant one, catches something. Maybe it’s the way your voice dips, or your eyebrows crease, or you slight flicker of your eyes. He knows something is wrong. “It has. I’ve been busy with my work.”

You nod, it’s slow and understanding but you can’t help the curl of anger in your gut. He’s doing what he loves, what he’s always done. You shouldn’t feel angry.

But you can’t help it. Just a little.

“Right. I know.” You say before pausing, wondering if you should say more. “‘I’ve missed you.” You go with.

Kisuke pauses, staring at you a bit longer. “I’ve missed you too.” When he doesn’t see your face change, he frowns. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

You purse your lips. You want to shout it from the rooftops, as loud as you must so he’d hear and understand it: “Why can’t you tell me if you love me?” “Just feeling a little confused, is all.”

You turn your head back to the stars, to the bright moon mocking you with it’s beauty, it’s wholeness. Kisuke stares at you and you feel his knowing gaze on you, and you can almost hear the thoughts clicking through his mind, every word he may say, calculated and measured and sure.

He lets out a sigh and turns to face the moon with you, and you can’t help yourself as you sneak a glance, watching the moon illuminate his bright skin and his kind face. In this moment, he has never looked more beautiful.

You turn away and settle on your hands, the clematis continuing to rest in the fingers of your one hand obstructed from his view. Then, you feel the warmth of Kisuke’s fingers settle on top of your hand closest to him and you pause, wondering what it meant.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it, my dear?” He says gently. “It always is.”

Your heart seems to stop in the moment, the world slowing down to a stillness that threatens to overtake you, that makes your mind slow to putty. You watch with wide eyes, time moving slowly as Kisuke turns to look at you, a big, soft smile on his face that crinkles the corners of his eyes. “And I’m an idiot, I suppose, for not letting you know sooner.”

Your heart feels like it’s breaking and repairing, over and over and over again. Becoming something new, something whole, surrounding him and these feelings that claw at you. The clematis drops from your fingers and you sit up straighter and look Kisuke in the eyes, tears welling in your own.

You turn your palm up to thread your fingers. “I think it’s beautiful too.” You whisper back. Kisuke smiles and tugs you so you’re against his side and your head resting on his chest. He places a kiss to the top of your head and breathes you in.

You aren’t sure if you’re imagining this, if he doesn’t mean what you think he does, or if he just said this all to make you feel better. But you know that at this moment, there is nothing weighing on your mind or pounding at your heart.

And the craving you’ve been chasing after, is finally yours.

—--------------------

“Then just for tonight, try loving me, please?”

—--------------------