#bleach kisuke

The sun had just begun to rise when you woke again, still trembling, aches rattling in your hips and core. You shuffled and tossed as gently and quietly as possible, trying to find a more comfortable position to see if you could squeeze in just a little more sleep.

Kisuke stirred next to you, causing you to tense up and freeze. With your back turned, you couldn't see him, but sensed his movement, heard his tired sigh as he sat up and fumbled around for something. Then, there was more weight, more warmth, added to your body as he pulled another layer of blanket over your shivering form.

He breathed another sleepy sigh before stilling once more, so easily whisked back into his slumber. You pulled the new blanket up a little higher, shutting your eyes more contentedly, though you still couldn't drift off so easily, not with your mind already planning out your escape, calculating where your various clothes were scattered and how you were going to put them on and gather your keys as quietly as possible, how you were going to slip out without having to face him, without having to see what he looked like with the early light pouring in through his window.

You could hardly sleep again, not with how loud your mind was and how you wished for the safety of your own bed. You creeped out from under the covers, wincing and freezing when the bed creaked under you. After confirming that Kisuke was still sleeping, you kept moving, tip toeing along the floor as you pulled your panties back up, clipped your bra on, threw your clothes back over your drained figure. You clenched your keys tightly off of his bedside desk, careful not to let them jingle.

It was about to be a success as you headed for the door, ready to slip out into the morning without a trace.

But then he called your name, his voice hoarse with exhaustion, not asking for you, demanding you. You reluctantly turned to face him, laying on his back with his chest exposed, staring at you with an intensity that made your chest burn.

"Why are you always running from me?" Kisuke asked, keeping his voice level, no hint of what emotion hid behind his question.

"I'm not running." You stood like a deer in headlights. You were running, just not fast enough, and now you were going to get hit.

"You're sneaking out," he observed, tucking his hands behind his head. "You always do."

You never expected him to say anything about it. It wasn't the first time you'd been caught, but it was the first time he was calling you out. It made your cheeks burn with embarrassment, to be seen by him in this way. Why now?

"Sorry," was all you could manage.

"I was inside you last night," he reminded you.

"What is this?" You asked him, clutching your keys tighter.

"I'm just curious," he said, his lips pulling into a grin. Just like that, his wall was back up, the easygoing, nonchalant facade. "Go on. I won't hold you up any longer."

Your mind, body, and heart were at war. A sudden wave of sadness pummeled you, and you knew you had to get out quickly. You weren't going to cry in front of him, especially not when he had that stupidly handsome grin on his face.

So you ran without looking back, an emptiness rapidly expanding in your chest. You knew what this was - an addiction, a poison, like any other drug, a bad habit you couldn't quit. You clung to the little joys and pleasures - the names he called you when he was inside of you, the innocent kisses he peppered along your nose and forehead, the demand that you look him in the eye when you took him in your mouth or when he took you in his, the promise, when you came, that you were his. My girl. Mine. You replayed those moments in your head over and over again until they weren't enough, until you needed more again, another dose. And then, like any high, there was always the crash - like right now. Anxiety, sadness, numbness, and the cold. It was always so cold.

When you were in the confines of your car, you sobbed, clutching at your chest, wishing you were anybody but yourself. Maybe if you had just a little more love for yourself, a little more backbone, a little more respect, you wouldn't run. You'd demand affection, you'd demand warmth, and if you didn't receive it, you'd leave and never come back. You'd ask for more blankets instead of shivering violently to the point where you couldn't sleep. Maybe you'd even curl up against him. You'd touch him and let him touch you without it having to be sexual because yes, you were inside me.

I was inside you last night. It was incomplete. Where was the rest of what he wanted to say? I was inside you last night, and now you can hardly look at me? You can't stay longer? You can't even wake me up to tell me goodbye?

It made you cry angry tears now, cycling through the stages of grief all in one morning. How could he expect you not to run? He always noticed how cold you were too late. If only he had pulled you into his embrace instead of turning away, or give you clothing of his to stay warm. If only he had just made it clear that he wanted you to stay, that you weren't a burden or just a body taking up extra space in his bed. You may have been running, but he sure as hell wasn't doing much of anything to chase after you.

You had your own sentence to complete. You were inside me, and now you can't even hold me?! You can't even ask if I'm warm enough?! If I'm okay?!

Alone again, you piled on as many blankets as you wanted. You dried your tears and you caught up on the sleep you missed when you were too afraid of how big your heart was and too afraid that he would hear it beat for him. You ignored the biggest fear of all, that you'd never stop running, that it would always end in this way, with you, alone.

A/N: woke up cold, sore, and not in my own bed this morning + can't stop thinking about Kisuke, and what do ya know, it inspired me to write this !!! i'm a BIG irish exit girly, for better or worse :') (probs worse). i'm also extremely passive and avoidant, all this to say, this is definitely a personal piece. i promise im fine !! im much happier than i used to be, but alas, healing isn't linear and sometimes those bad habits like to creep back in.

to anyone who feels like they're alone, who feels like their heart's too big for this world and their passion too loud, i promise you, you're not alone, and please don't ever stop being the beacon of love and light that you are. take care of yourself. set boundaries. be vulnerable. be LOVE

.Kisuke was once a man who had his life stolen, being framed for the crimes that Aizen committed.

.He had to save his friends from being killed, and then he had to escape the soul society with them.

.He met you in his time in the human world, and he fell into obsessive love with you. .You had come to his candy shop, which he uses as a front for his plans to take down Aizen.

.He fell for you so hard he could not help but want to get to know more about you.

.He would be a yandere who would follow you home and watch you without knowing that he is watching you.

.He loves to use his soul form, where you cannot see him, so he can keep an eye on you and get to know you.

.He also would be a yandere who would be a peeping tom on you, watching you bathe.

.He would try not be too much of a perve but he cannot help himself from checking you out and watching you change as well.

.He is a very protective yandere, so watching you walk home and into your home without you being aware that he is there. 

.He would do everything to keep you safe, and even have his staff watch you to keep you safe if he has to. 

.He will come to your home a lot, or have you come to his shop a lot, so that he can see you as much as possible. 

.He is a yandere who will worm his way into your life. So that he can get closer to you and get to know you even more. 

.Also, back to him stalking you, he would have learned more about you through doing this. So now he knows what to say, and what things you like and do not like. 

.He is a yandere who has a master plan to get you to be his and his alone, and is a yandere who is thinking several steps ahead. 

.He is also a yandere that will do whatever he needs to, to make you his and his alone, may it be killing for you, and or kidnapping you. (more on this later) 

.He would deal with rivals by appearing to be chilled and relaxed with them, but really, he is plotting their death. 

.He would give them one chance to leave you alone, and if they do not listen to that chance, he is ready to knock them out and experiment on them. 

.They forfeited their rights to life when they tried to be with you after he warned them. 

.At least now their lives will have some meaning as they are made into experiments for him. 

.They at least were worth something good at the end of their lives. 

.He would act like all was fine, and he did not know what happened to them, and he would be a good shoulder to cry on if you cry from them going missing. 

.After all, none of their bodies ever show up afterwards, so there is no way anyone knew what happened to them. 

.He uses his comforting you as a way for him to get closer to you. 

.If you somehow develop enough spirit energy to see him and hollows, he would also train you, so that you can protect yourself, and he can become even closer to you. 

.Training you and secretly manipulating you to make you depend on him and make you fall in love with him. 

.He will be able to make you need him and trust him, so you are less likely to catch on to how he knows so much about you, and you do not think why does he know that much about you! 

.He is doing everything he can to keep you in the dark and keep you close to him. 

.He also would be your sugar daddy, quite litterally he is always giving you gifts of sweets. 

.As well as spoiling you with fancy gifts. You are curious how he has all this money, but you have never asked him. 

.He finally would confess his love to you when he got close enough to you and was certain that you were more likely to accept his love and depend on him. 

.If you do accept his love, he was certain this would happen, and he is going to make love to you right then and there. 

.Even if it is down in the training room or even right in the shop. 

.But if you did not accept his love confession and turned down his love, he will be a bit shocked that you did, in fact, reject him. 

.Even though he was mildly shocked, he still had a plan for this, because he is a yandere with a master plan and is thinking several steps ahead. 

.He would kidnap you and put spirit energy cuffs on you so that you cannot escape him. 

.Even if you did get out of his training ground and shop, he would be able to track your spirit energy and bring you back. 

.Also, he made his employees keep an eye on you and keep you safe and sound in his shop. 

.He would use his cane to push your soul out of your body and kill your body, this way he can give you a gigi to keep you in the human world. 

.This way, you have to depend on him, stay with him, and accept his love. 

.He has made it like I said, where you have to depend on him to live your life. 

.You belong to him, and he will make you love him so that he can enjoy his life with you. 

.He will never let a soulreaper come and help pass your soul to the soul society or let a hollow eat you. 

.All you will know is your lover and one day husband, and you will know that you will be his for all of eternity!