Yūgen

then he pulled his fingers out with a pop!

“what the—"

“show’s done.”

you looked back up at the tv, white text scrolling against the black background.

“you ready to finally give me some love?” he asked as if he was some kind of neglected animal and not a fully grown man with enough responsibilities to make you gag.

you looked back up at the tv, advert for crunchy granola replacing the episode you had basically half watched.

you huffed.

"fine. but you're doing all the work 'cause you made me miss my episode. how am i supposed to know what samir did about the blocked toilet?"

"baby i always do all the work." and as if to prove a point he picked you up from the couch and tossed you over his shoulder.

"oh and he cut it up. like with a knife and fork."

"...seriously?"

"tried using conditioner first. did not work out."

a/n :: just finished s1 of adults and i quite literally cannot wait until s2 oh my godddd

she would watch as mama instructs the sitter for the evening. after everything that was needed to be said is relayed, you would kiss the top of harumi's head with the promise that you will be back after her bed time.

harumi doesn't really mind. the baby sitter is nice—she lets her watch cartoons and sometimes makes her hot chocolate before bed.

but, even when the bedtime snacks are tempting, she can't help but wonder, mama is going out a lot with mr. higuruma.

like the babysitter, mr. higuruma is nice. maybe even nicer. he brings her gifts, talks with her about her drawings, listens when she talks about what adventure strawberry shortcake and her friends did in the newest episode.

she remembers a conversation she had with a classmate after telling the class about hiromi.

"so a dad," her classmate had pointed out.

harumi paused. "no," she replied after a moment. "mr. higuruma is not my dad."

"but that's what dads do," another added. "they care a lot."

it made harumi think.

mr. higuruma always spent time with her.

always made sure she's happy.

always made sure she's well provided for.

so, yes, the textbook definition of a dad—the textbook being her bedtime storybooks.

but mr. higuruma isn't her dad. harumi is very sure about that. her dad was someone else she'd never met. someone mama never talked about past someone who hurt me a long time ago, so she stopped asking. if it hurts mama, it's not something she wants to dwell on.

it's whatever.

harumi has mama.

mama is enough.

besides, mr. higuruma isn't trying to be her dad—he was just mr. higuruma. just a kind man. her drawing appreciator. her emergency snack provider. her favorite person at the office to sit beside when mama was busy. and, apparently, someone who liked buying too many things at bookstores.

harumi giggles at the memory.

"are you listening, baby?"

harumi looks back at you. you are already standing, slipping your earrings on.

"yes, mama," she nods.

"then what did i say?"

harumi pauses. she definitely wasn't listening. blinking up at you, she murmurs, "you said..." she thinks hard. "be a good girl and don't eat candy before dinner."

you stare at her as you reply, "i didn't say that."

harumi grins sheepishly. "but you were thinking it, mama."

you laugh before opening your arms. your little girl immediately barrels into you for an embrace. kissing the top of her head, you tell her, "be good for the babysitter, okay?"

"okay."

"and don't stay up waiting for me. you have a bedtime for a reason."

"okay."

"and if you need anything, tell the babysitter and she'll call me."

"okay."

you kiss her forehead again. harumi leans towards your touch before asking, "are you going mr. higuruma's house?"

you smile, amused.

"no, sweetheart," you reply after a moment. "just somewhere with him."

"oh."

harumi thinks about that.

"you're spending lots of time with him," she comments. "are you going on dates with him?"

she watches as you bite your lip, face heating up.

"...no, not really. where did you learn that word?"

"tv," harumi replies. "if it's not a date, then why are you extra pretty? why do you always try to look extra pretty when you meet with mr. higuruma?"

"okay, enough questions," you say in embarrassment.

"i don't mind, mama," harumi immediately says with a soft smile. "i'm happy that you're spending lots of time with him."

and really, she is.

mr. higuruma feels safe.

she feels happy when he's around.

mama? harumi sees how mama changed.

work doesn't tire her anymore, especially on the days when mr. higuruma hugs her from behind while she files documents.

she smiles more after coming home late with him.

mama talks a lot on her phone now, too, and it's always mr. higuruma.

he's a nice change. mr. higuruma is a nice addition to team harumi and mama.

the next few weeks become a blur of those little changes. harumi starts noticing that mama doesn't just come hone with mr. higuruma anymore.

sometimes, mr. higuruma comes over.

sometimes, when the babysitter is here, harumi knows mama is going to his apartment.

sometimes, they all go somewhere together.

and sometimes, when she wakes up in the morning, she finds mr. higuruma already sitting at their kitchen table, drinking coffee while mama cooks breakfast. those are her favorite mornings.

it's not that something particularly exciting happens—usually, mr. higuruma just reads the newspaper while mama complains that he keeps leaving his mug beside the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher.

sometimes they argue about what to have for breakfast.

sometimes mama laughs so hard she topples over.

sometimes mr. higuruma smiles with the tip of his ears tinting red.

harumi likes those mornings because they feel strangely familiar, like something she's known for much longer than she actually has. she doesn't know what exactly happened—she only knows that somewhere along the way, mornings stopped being just mama's and hers.

now there was someone else sitting at the table who knew where the spoons were, how she liked her eggs, and how she wants the crust in all her sandwiches cut. only mama knew that, but now? mr. higuruma knows, too, and it feels right.

harumi thinks it's nice.

mama thinks so too.

right?

and mr. higuruma?

does he?

harumi stands by the hallway where she watches you and hiromi. she takes note of the way your brows furrowed the same way when you're hurt, and how hiromi's do the exact same thing.

maybe that's why you look like you belong together.

she watches as hiromi points at the hallway, unaware of her presence. you were supposed to have dinner in a while. maybe they're arguing about what to eat?

maybe.

so why is mr. higuruma packing up?

she watches as hiromi grabs his things. he says something else before walking out of the door.

harumi purses her lips. mr. higuruma just left, and mama looks... stricken. was it really about dinner? one will never know the answer to something until they ask.

so harumi asks.

"mama?"

your head snaps towards her.

"...baby."

you quickly rub your eyes as she steps closer. harumi glances at the door before returning her attention to you.

"mr. higuruma just left," she carefully points out. "he'll be back, right?"

"..."

you strained a smile as you shake your head.

"...maybe tomorrow then?" harumi tries.

"i don't think so, baby," you force out. you take her hand and lead her to the kitchen. as you prepare some baking sheets, you say, "mama and harumi are a good team. we don't need anyone else, right?"

harumi stares at you.

"...yes," she finally says after a moment.

...harumi has mama.

...mama is enough.

i'm so fucking excited for pt 4 i wrote it first before writing pt 3

taglist: @naomihatake @yamakajis @icyshadewhisper @pvppytak @llaecho @alebrasil0101 @ddolligumi @larouge1998 @sunkssedhayamee @spacesavvy @uselessjackoftrades ♡

"harumi. what does she need for school?" you can hear the quiet shuffling of objects before he continues. "i'll buy them for you. i'm already at the bookstore to buy stationeries for the office."

you bite your lip. for some reason, this is all so embarrassing. harumi is your daughter, and you definitely do not want anyone to inconvenience themselves over your responsibility.

with a shake of your head, you reply, "there's really no need, mr. higuruma. i'll buy them myself. you don't have to worry about it."

"then i'll miss out on the discount," hiromi retorts dryly.

you almost laugh. "buy more supplies for the office then," you suggest in exasperation. "everyone leeches off your stuff anyway, attorney. better come prepared."

"i've already talked to them about it," hiromi calmly responds. "they are grown men and women with a salary. they can buy their own brown folders and bond papers."

"yes, so you must be aware that i'm also a grown woman who can buy my own daughter's school supplies."

"i'm aware. you are also the woman whose child i care deeply about."

you stop whatever you're doing right then. your face starts to burn. it means nothing, right? your boss takes care of harumi a lot at work, it's only natural he feels drawn to buying her things.

"miss secretary," hiromi says after a moment. "how about you put your phone on speaker and let me talk to harumi?"

you don't know what has gotten into you when you obliged almost immediately. clicking the speaker button, you cross the kitchen to reach the little girl.

"harumi, mr. higuruma's on the phone. he's asking for you."

harumi, still so sleepy earlier, perks up from her seat. she excitedly takes the phone from your hand.

"mr. higuruma!"

"harumi, good morning," the man warmly greets. "i'm at the bookstore store. would you like anything? what do you need for school?"

harumi looks up in thought. "well... i need the primary colors paint for my art class, i need sparkly paper for my science class, i need snacks for my recess—"

"—harumi," you whisper-shout. you shake your head, embarrassed.

your daughter's mouth forms an 'o' shape. "oh, mama said no. never mind, mr. higuruma!"

hiromi sighs from the other end. "your mother is stubborn and hard-headed. i'll get them for you, sweetheart. anything else?"

you purse your lips as harumi starts listing everything out.

what greets you and harumi at the firm is even more surprising. on your desk are four full shopping bags. your jaw drops as harumi starts excitedly rummaging through them.

your little girl starts squealing.

"wow! glitter pens! i didn't ask for these!"

"a new sketchbook! mama, look—it has strawberry shortcake and her friends on the cover!"

"new color pencils? mama, i've always wanted these! it's the expensive kind we see at the store, remember?"

you heart starts trying to claw its way out of your chest as you watch harumi. every single bag is for her, and it's all full of school supplies and materials for arts and crafts. you've barely had anyone to help you raise your daughter, and now that there is finally someone else so willing to put on effort for her...

just then, you feel someone behind you, and then a large hand on your back. startled, you snap your head to the side where you find hiromi holding up one more bag, this time towards you.

"hello," he greets. "i may have gone overboard with the shopping. i bought some necessities for your cubicle as well."

you take the bag from him, speechless.

"...attorney," you force out. "you really didn't have to. i... do you have the receipt? i'll pay you back—really, this is all too much."

"nonsense," hiromi says with a small smile. "she needs them, doesn't she?"

"the school supplies, maybe, but the other things are just pure indulgent..."

"then let me indulge the both of you."

your brain rewires again. with wide eyes, you look at him again. annoyingly enough, he still looks unbothered.

hiromi glances at you. "i bought us snacks for later. they're in the mini fridge at my office. tell me if both of you are hungry."

okay. so your heart feels like it's finally out of your chest and is sitting in your mouth instead. you feel dizzy, overwhelmed by everything this morning.

before you can say anything, harumi pops her head out of one of the shopping bags.

"mr. higuruma?" she calls out.

"yes, harumi?"

"thank you!" she patters towards hiromi and embraces his hips. "you bought a lot of things for me and i'm very happy. i will make good use of them, mister. i promise!"

hiromi's eyes soften. he gently pries her arms off him before he crouches to her height, holding her hands instead.

"you're welcome, sweetheart," he says. "your mama did mention a while ago that you're part of the honor roll this quarter. treat them as a little reward from me."

the little girl brightens up, nodding enthusiastically. her pigtails bounce against her head, the sight enough for you to finally melt.

you stayed at the firm with hiromi for an overtime. as you two work to finish the remaining documents on his desk, harumi sleeps peacefully on the couch across the office. as soon as everything wrapped up at around seven in the evening, you start packing up.

"thanks for dinner, attorney," you say, back still facing him as you arrange the shopping bags from earlier morning.

hiromi looks at you and hums. "i'll wait at the bus stop with you. you're bringing a lot of things home."

so he did. without much thought, he gently gathers the dozing harumi in his arms while you take the bags. minutes later, you reach the bus stop in front of the building where you wait for your commute home.

"next trip is at quarter to eight," hiromi says as he settles down on the bench, adjusting harumi on his chest. he watches you sit beside him before he adds, "fifteen minutes more."

you hum in response. for a few moments, it is silent as you think about the day you had.

you've never encountered someone so patient with your daughter, going even as far as involving himself in her personal matters. you glance at hiromi secretly, just in time to see him adjust harumi's hair and pulling his coat higher into her shoulders when she shivered a little in her sleep.

your throat run dries at the sight. for so long, you wanted this for your daughter. though harumi had always made it clear that you were already enough for her, you still didn't miss whenever the girl's eyes would linger whenever she saw a father and a child playing together.

now that someone has unknowingly stepped into that role... harumi had stopped. that part always made you wonder. what changed? was it hiromi?

just then, an old lady and her daughter arrives at the stop. you scoot closer to hiromi to make room for them, the old woman smiling when she noticed.

"thank you," she says. after settling on the seat, he glances at the three of you and hums. "your daughter has your husband's eyes. reminds me of my daughter and my husband."

your heart drops to your ass. before you could deny anything, the younger woman laughs quietly.

"mom... let's leave them alone. they probably had a long day."

"what? i'm just saying what i see."

you can feel hiromi staring at the back of your head. suddenly, getting hit by a bus felt less painful than enduring whatever this was right now. you internally start panicking when he doesn't deny anything, so you take matters into your own hands.

"he's not my husband," you quickly say with a pained laugh. "he's my boss, but yes she's my daughter."

the old woman blinks. "oh. well i'll be damned. are you sure?"

"mom," the younger woman covers her face. "please leave them alone."

"what? they look like a family."

you nearly choke. beside you, hiromi finally clears his throat. "she's telling the truth," he says with a small smile. "i'm her employer."

the old woman nods slowly.

"ah."

a beat passes. then, she looks at harumi, still sleeping peacefully against his chest before adding, "very devoted employer."

your face burns hot.

"ma'am..."

"i didn't mean anything bad," she says with an innocent smile. "it's just nice to see a man taking such good care of a child who isn't even his."

that shuts you up instantly because, after everything, it's true. hiromi has been more of a dad to harumi in three months than her biological father in six years. even as something as simple as the school supplies for her you used to beg the guy for was provided by your boss without so much as a request nor a complaint.

if all, hiromi did everything for harumi with a proud smile.

the old woman smiles knowingly and turns back to her daughter.

"young people these days are always so complicated. when your father and i met..."

"mom..."

the bus stop is then filled with stories from older days. you and hiromi remain quiet for the a while, waiting for the bus to arrive.

a few minutes after the old woman started talking the night away, you glance at him apologetically.

"i'm sorry about that, attorney," you whisper. "i didn't expect i'd drag you into something so awkward."

hiromi glances back at you. he looks strangely thoughtful.

"hm?" he hums. "it wasn't awkward. if anything, i think she simply noticed something i haven't."

your heart skips. you force yourself to ask, "what is it?"

he doesn't answer immediately. instead, his gaze settles on harumi again before quietly answering, "how comfortable she is with me."

you swallow.

"she really likes you."

"i suppose she does."

hiromi looks up again and looks at you—really looks at you.

"so i hope you'll have me. even just for a while."

your breath catches.

"...what?"

the bus arrives just in time.

you chuckle awkwardly from the other end. "just her, attorney," you explain, "and it's just the two of us, so..."

he sets his shock and curiosity aside as he nods. "is that so? yes, you can bring her here. just make sure she won't disturb the others."

"thank you, attorney. i'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"don't apologize. i understand your circumstances."

after the line dies, hiromi stares at the caller id. for the three years he's had you as his secretary, he realized just how much he does not know you outside office walls.

you two work seamlessly together—you had all of his work affairs such as schedules and documents and the like handled before he could even lift a finger. for the longest time he's been a lawyer, only you were the one who managed to make his work easier.

when hiromi arrives at the firm an hour later, the air seems different—lighter, as if everyone just collectively forget their burdens for the day. he also notices other employees trying to look over towards your cubicle.

there, by your desk, sits a little girl no older than six years old. all her attention is on the sketchbook in front of her, drawing a pretty pink character.

hiromi slows down to a stop. for a brief moment, he simply watches. the little girl sits with remarkable patience for someone her age, legs swinging gently beneath the chair that was far too tall for her. every so often, she glances up at you before returning to her drawing, content simply being nearby.

you notice him first and immediately stand.

"mr. higuruma, good morning."

it takes a second for him to pry his eyes from the girl before turning his attention to you. "good morning," he greets back. "is this your daughter?"

at being referred to, the little girl looks up from her sketchbook, blinks her big eyes at him, and then quickly slides off the chair. she smooths her dress before giving him a polite bow.

"good morning, mr. attorney," she greets. the girl straightens up with a bright smile. "i'm harumi. i'm six years old, and i'm going to start first grade soon."

hiromi blinks once before he visibly softens up. he crouches to meet her eyes and replies, "nice to meet you, harumi. i'm hiromi higuruma, thirty-six years old, and i'm a lawyer."

you try to bite back a smile. you've never seen your boss this soft. before harumi can try anything funny, you gently take her hand.

"okay, let's leave mr. higuruma alone n—"

"—would you like to see my drawings?" the little girl asks the man excitedly, showing him her sketchbook. "i love strawberry shortcake and i draw her lots."

harumi points at a character in her sketchbook. for a six year old, hiromi thought in surprise, she draws well.

"this one is strawberry shortcake. she has lots of friends, like here—it's cherry jam and raspberry torte. she has lots more of friends but my favorite are the pink ones, so i only drew them."

you cringe inwardly as you watch hiromi nod along, afraid of inconveniencing him any further.

"apologies, attorney, we'll leave you to your work now." you tap on harumi's shoulder. "come on, mr. higuruma's busy—"

"i can spare a minute," hiromi says with a small smile. "i find her drawings interesting, anyway."

harumi visibly beams at this.

soon, your daughter becomes a regular at the firm. thanks to her pleasing personality, everyone starts looking for harumi when you don't arrive to work with her in tow.

"aww, someone else is watching her?"

"where's harumi?"

"when is she visiting again?"

even hiromi starts asking.

the next time harumi visits, hiromi insists watching her while you finish your work.

"i'm free for the next two hours," he told you. "let me watch her so you can move without worry."

so you let him. now, harumi is across his desk, talkative as ever as she draws.

"everyone at school say i'm like strawberry shortcake," she proudly says. "because i make a lot of friends and i'm nice and i fix it when my classmates fight."

hiromi hums, glancing at her from his computer. "that so?" he asks. "i don't know her, but you are a kind girl, so you must be very similar."

"i have a classmate who is like shrek, someone who is like wreck-it-ralph, someone like snow white, and lots more," harumi earnestly responds. "mr. higuruma, i can think of a character like you as well."

curious, hiromi puts his pen down. "yeah?" he smiles. "who?"

harumi thinks hard. she shuts her eyes close and starts humming.

"mm..."

after half a minute, she opens her eyes again.

"never mind," she says. "you're too weird."

hiromi coughs. he clasps his hands together in question.

"...why do you think so?"

"you're so serious," harumi immediately answers. "you always look tired. you also always talk so deeply, like this—" she talks with an exaggerated bass, "—and your eye brows are always down like this."

harumi drops her hand and goes back to smiling brightly. "but i don't think you're so scary anymore."

"yeah? what changed?"

"well... you started smiling more!" she leans in and pinches his cheek. "yay!"

that is the exact moment you walk in. you immediately grow mortified when your daughter starts kneading hiromi's cheek.

"wha—harumi!"

the little girl immediately drops her hand.

"...mama."

you stand in the doorway, equal parts horrified and apologetic.

"what are you doing?" you whisper in disbelief before hurrying over. "i'm so sorry, attorney." you gently pry harumi away from hiromi, who still looks mildly stunned. "don't i always remind you that we keep our hands to ourselves?"

harumi pouts.

"but his face looked lonely."

you look beyond appalled now. the man is your boss, and here is you daughter, being overly familiar with him.

"his face looked what?"

"it looked like it needed this!" before anyone can stop her, she reaches up once more and gently presses both of hiromi's cheeks inward.

"squish."

silence filled the room. the entire office somehow feels quieter as you silently wish for the ground to eat you. before you could apologize again, hiromi snorts out a laugh.

"...is my face no longer lonely?" he asks.

harumi beams again.

"nope!" she leans towards him. "you smile now, you don't sound like this anymore—" she mocks a deep voice, "—law, law, papers, crime, work."

"i never sounded like that," he argues.

the bickering goes back and forth, and you finally let out a laugh.

hiromi's attention shifts immediately. in the three years you've worked together, he'd heard you chuckle politely, laugh with clients, and sighed in relief after winning difficult cases.

but this? it was different. your shoulders are relaxed, your eyes crinkled with mirth—for a second, you weren't his impossibly competent secretary carrying the weight of an entire office.

you were simply... a mother laughing at her ridiculous child.

he'd always assumed your life outside the office was difficult. he just never imagined it could also be this warm. somehow, between harumi's nonstop chatter and your quiet laughter, the office no longer felt like a workplace.

it felt... lived in. warm. the kind of place you look forward to after a long day.

hiromi had spent years returning to an apartment that greeted him with nothing but silence.

tonight, for the first time, he caught himself wondering what it would be like to come home to bright giggles, scattered crayons, quiet laughter, and someone waiting to tell him about strawberry shortcake.

to have someone look up when he walked through the door and say, "welcome home."

the image arrives uninvited.

worse, it doesn't leave.