#kindof?

1) The Milk Of Truth Lake

Now, a long, long time ago (last month), I said in my essay talking about the Fount leaks that, as we can see, Shadow Milk's skin tone changes drastically- he goes from a natural looking blue that is, quite literally, a usual cookie skin tone colorshfited to be blue to NEON FUCKING CYAN.

The theory I proposed for this insane switch is rather simple- in corrupting, Shadow Milk spoiled. Spoiling has negative connotations, etcetera etcetera, Shadow Milk is now evil, the connection is quite clear.

Similarly, the Milk of Truth lake/river appears to be the original form of the Yogurt River of Rebirth- take for example, the mirroring (which I'll talk about later). We know that the Fount was dragged/pulled to the depths of the lake by gravity (after jumping in?) and that he had a big revelation while down there and appears to have come out reborn.

Similarly, Truthless goes into the Yogurt River of Rebirth and has his evil i must Deceit now revelation.

I think the Milk lake and the Yogurt river are the same entity (hence why Shadow Milk forced Truthless into it, hoping he'd turn to deceit and the "to float, all you need to do is to embrace deceit") and I think this is another case of the milk 'spoiling' with corruption. Cause. That's how you get yogurt. that's

that's how

Also, I think Shadow Milk tried to kill himself. According to the story, cookie kind was turning violent against Shadow Milk and he had reached a sort of breaking point- he knew the witches were gone and decided they had abandoned him to the wretched wiles of the evil population, he had decided his job was pointless, and he seems genuinely depressed.

It makes sense that, paralleling Truthless falling off the fucking building, Shadow Milk would take a swan dive into the lake to try and die. Hence why he gets to the depths with no resistance. Even if he can't drown, the milk itself should be able to turn his dough so soggy he just kinda melts.

Obviously, he doesn't succeed. I'll expand on what I think happens after that fact, but let's move on for now.

2) The Light of Deceit's Involvement (spoiler: I don't think it's their fault for corruption)

Okay.

Okay.

A lot of people seem to think that the Light of Deceit is manipulating Fount here into corruption and that it's their fault and I am here to say no that is INCORRECT!!

From the start of the fourth wall break to Shadow Milk saying he abandoned the mantle, I do not think we are seeing the real Fount anymore. It's incredibly in character for Shadow Milk to avoid showing the actual moment of vulnerability, where the Fount corrupts, and is further supported by Deceit telling the Fount about how they "saved him" and are the main source of power for him.

If he were still the Fount here, this would be incorrect. While you might be saying "yeah its the light of deceit", the Fount had been openly hostile up to this point and made it clear he can see through Deceit's tricks and is on the verge of fist fighting it. hence why I don't think we're looking at fount.

Expanding on my earlier point, it also makes sense that Shadow Milk would specifically be avoiding showing the true cause/moment of his corruption, as that's vulnerable and terrible and he knows who we are. This could also be why Shadow Milk shows such aggression towards Deceit by the end of it- Deceit was an actor by this point, because showing us his real memories there would be Dangerous, and now Shadow Milk wants nothing to do with it. Not typically the behavior towards someone who's supposedly turned you and 'opened' your eyes, huh?

okay, okay, sooo much talk about deceit, you might be saying, so let's move onto it's opposite.. truth!!

3) Mirroring with Truthless/Awakened Pure Vanilla/Beast Yeast Ep. 8 analysis

(the analysis was accidental btw idk how i got there)

So, obviously, there's the shared trait of being peer pressured to jump into lakes that make you suddenly really accepting of deceit, and there's also the visual similarities- Pure Vanilla has the milk crown patterning and the scroll pieces of his outfit, although his scrolls more-so resemble half corrupted Shadow Milk, PV has the key and starburst markings everywhere...

Let's go over some funner similarities!

Through most of Truthless' existence, a point of focus by Shadow Milk is his potential loneliness. He threatens his friends. In Chess II, he talks about how White Lily has abandoned him multiple times as part of her free spirit personality. In Chess II, he also talks about how little Truthless knows of DE's revival and what really happened to White Lily. Now that we've seen Shadow Milk's perpetually lonely existence as Fount and seen the lack of people willing to ask him.. just how he was doing or any sort of question he could find actually engaging, he was treated more like ChatGPT or google and his own personal struggles/interests were ignored.

Here, I think he is comparing Truthless to all of the terrible people who hurt him, which probably has a low effect on Truthless but shows Shadow Milk's interesting frustrations with anyone who embodies truth or moral values, especially a (once) mortal like Pure Vanilla.

He also says, and I quote, "If you really had what it takes, you wouldn't have ended up here, now would you?" which also appears to be his line of thinking as the fount to some extent, leading to the possible/inferenced suicide attempt. Said line is also followed by "If the so-called 'truth' were the only right thing, it would've granted you the power to overcome all the odds you've been up against!"

..

projecting much?

"Cookies fear what they don't understand. Always so quick to fill that void with the first thing that fits their belief system! Anything, really." Jesus christ, I'm starting to think I'm blind as hell. How did I not notice.. any of this foreshadowing earlier...?

Anyway, an interesting quote from Truthless in reference to Shadow Milk during 'Pure Vanilla the Liar' is "My story is different from his.. I simply let go of everything I once believed in."

Which is, infact, his first lie! As we can be told by the actual story of his corruption, the Fount did give up in everything he once believed in- the natural good of cookies & the witches and his ability to do some of that good. Pure Vanilla and the Fount are, corruption wise, kindof one in the same- faced by the evilness of humanity and themselves (although the fount's was more-so being violently harassed over his perceived evilness), they chose violence.

Okay, okay, talking more seriously about their awakening/corruption, I think Pure Vanilla's awakening tells us a lot more of the visual details of what happened to Shadow Milk.

In it, he evolves through the years and he crashes past through the Yogurt river of Rebirth, finding himself among the stars and with true truth. Since Shadow Milk found full deceit, reasonably, he crashes through the Milk lake (which we know happens), he disregards the stars and atmosphere (which we KNOW happens because of the sprite where his little planetary ring lays crumbled and he is above it, like how he is now above the mortal realm, etc.). Pure Vanilla ends with the baby nilla sheep memory, SHADOW MILK STARTS WITH IT!!!!!!!!! They're reverses of eachother. They're the same, in the end. Reverse either one of their corruption/awakenings to get the other's!!!!! That's so neat!!

and wonderful!! SPEAKING OF SPRITES, THOUGH!!

4) THE WITCHES !!!!!!!!!!!

In my essay on the sprite leaks, an interesting trait I noted was the fact Shadow Milk is riding his key-staff like a witch's broom. At the time, I said that he was trying to subconsciously make himself more witch-like, more powerful. I still believe this.

Even better is the new information about his relationship with the Witches! It seems to be kind of parasocial bullshit. At some time during his reign, Fount decided that cookie kind was evil and bullshit and that his job was stupid.

As we know, he has an infinite amount of knowledge that appears to apply to the Human World. It makes sense that he, upon deciding this world sucks ass and he should leave, would attach himself to the idea of the Witches in a more aggressive manner- they're his virtuous creators, they belong to a world of insane knowledge and virtue and goodness (because his creators are good). It's unfair, it's a punishment that he's left down here to answer questions about crushes. He's smart! He deserves to be with them! Fount also probably had quite the attachment to him- he's not shown to talk to. literally anyone, and his association with stars- with being the on the edge of the boundary to the human world- probably means he was the primary virtue the witches talked to.

His original hatred of the Witches probably stems from that sort of mentality- especially when the Witches dipped out by being brutally murdered (presumably..? i dont remember what happens to the first cookies but im pretty sure they all die horrifically), it makes sense he would take this as a severe rejection from like the two people in the entire world he talks to, AND it's trapping him down here. With the idiots. Who now want to commit violent acts against him.

I would also be mad. And act out to desperately try to be freed of this horrific world.

Anyway, it makes the fact he subconsciously postures himself like a witch even funnier- he's the fate maker, he has the world at his fingertips; he's the creator, he crafts rumors and he can craft cookies like Candy Apple or the Dough trio. When he originally corrupted, he seemed to be abandoning his stars- visually breaking free of the atmosphere, exiting the cookie world, entering the human one. He's like a toddler having a tantrum, but in a I have No Mouth And I Must Scream type of way.

5) What I think happened over the full story

chat i've been writing for an hour and a half now

i think

ANYWAY!

The beginning of his descent starts with the way he's treated- used as google and ignored by everyone around him, being endlessly bored and taunted with these annoying questions. Even better, when not given a desired answer, these cookies slander his name- and even when given the desired answer, they continue to commit violent acts. Fundamentally, he is a bystander, a tool.

This is where he starts getting the mindset of cookie kind being pre-set to be evil. If they were good and virtuous, afterall, wouldn't they atleast bother to say 'hey should i go beat these people up' and get told they should not, in fact, beat those people up? And take that advice?

This sets the stage for most of Shadow Milk's later behavior. I define that idea via the 'Cycle', which is a circle that begins with 'cookie kind is evil' -> 'i need to punish cookie kind (partially to continue making my life and anger justified)' -> 'cookie kind believes lies/punishment' -> 'cookie kind is evil'.

Anyway, eventually, it reaches the point where he is asking the Witches to get his ass out of there, to which he receives no answer. This sets the stage for his hatred of the witches later.

The cookie's behavior escalates, turning against the Fount, and, in the wake of the Witches death, he tries to... probably kill himself by willingly diving into the Milk Lake of Truth. Within the lake, he is either talked to and yells at the light of Deceit, or he reemerges living and decides he has to do something worse. Take revenge, drag the witches here and force them to free him from this wretched world.

From there, we get a natural progression into the comfortable sadism of Shadow Milk, the Silver Tree adds more hatred of the Witches, DE gives him a chance to truly cause some damage, and we get to where we currently are.

good job folks, you have made it to the end

i'm so very sorry if this was incoherent babbling and made no sense. i swear that wasn't the intent but my tendency to go on side rants gets overwhelming on topics i like.

gojo satoru is no stranger to physical affection. he is both a giver and a reciever. yuuji hugs him, megumi swats at his head or shoves him away, and nobara nudges his shoulder. they pose no threat to him — even on satoru’s worst day, he could defeat them. he can turn off his infinity for them.

he’s the strongest. there are very few things that genuinely pose a threat to him.

so why does he tense when your arms wrap around his waist from behind? why does his shoulders hunch, why does his hand fly to his chest, why does his control on his infinity almost slip?

why does he almost push you away?

the memories are vivid in his mind, almost as if he’s back at the entrance of jujutsu high again. sleep-deprived, but relieved the mission is complete. grinning and laughing with riko and suguru, right until the cold, sharpness of a blade pierces his back and then his chest.

when you feel satoru tense, you pull away, brows furrowing and a frown tugging at your lips. “satoru? hey, are you okay?”

it takes him a blink to realize that 2006 is long since over and that nothing is amiss. that you’re here, not that black-haired douche that somehow manages to be a constant in satoru’s life even after his death.

like always, satoru chuckles, low and smooth. but you can hear the strain, the lingering relief in it. “damn. caught me off guard, huh?”

his hand drops from his chest and closes the cabinet with his elbow before he turns to face you, cerulean eyes twinkling as he grins down at you. that’s forced too, and you sigh. something’s wrong, and it doesn’t take you but half a second to deduce that.

“don’t do that,” you say, and your voice is so tender, almost motherly despite how you’re kind of reprimanding him. the smallest portion of satoru’s heart thaws, and he lets the grin fall from his face. it’s now a small somber smile, the slightest curve of his pink lips. who is he to deny you what you want?

that doesn’t mean he won’t play dumb. “do what?” he asks and leans forward, burying his face in your curls. the scent of shea butter and vanilla fills his nostrils, and it’s yet another reminder that he’s here with you, that he’s safe with you.

“i’m not slow, satoru.” you cross your arms over your chest and narrow your eyes at him. you won’t drop the topic, and while your stubbornness is something satoru absolutely adores about you, he nearly wishes you were a little weaker-willed right about now.

“i know,” he whispers before his voice goes back to its typical playful perkiness. “wouldn’t be dating you if you were, baby.”

satoru’s lanky yet muscular arms wrap around your waist, hands resting on the curve of your ass, and he smirks. “you should let me use your shampoo for once, y’know. your hair smells good.”

“it’s not gonna work on your hair, dude.” his embrace is your weakness, and your body melts in his arms, along with your resolve to figure out what’s bothering him. “plus, the shampoo you use works just fine, and smells just as good,” you add, your glare becoming more playful.

“nah, it’s not the same,” satoru counters with a squeeze, and you promptly swat his hand away. which leads to him squeezing again, and somehow you two become a tangle of limbs on the floor as he tickles your sides, pale, slender fingers leaving featherlight touches on your skin, and breathless laughs and pleas falling from your gorgeous lips.

that may have distracted you, but it certainly hasn’t distracted him.

satoru hates dwelling on things for too long. it’s a waste of energy, and if it’s something he can’t fix, well, why even try? long after you’ve fallen asleep on his chest, snoring gently as the silk from your bonnet tickles his skin, he’s still thinking about why he reacted like that.

and then it dawns on him. the realization isn’t like a piano falling from the sky, but more like a feather that explodes on impact.

you’re a threat.

not in the conventional way. of course, even in a fight without cursed energy, you’d be on the ground in a blink. however…

if you suddenly plunged a blade into his neck, satoru would hesitate. it could be for a millisecond or two whole seconds, but he’d hesitate. hesitation is a dangerous thing. a second of indecision could cost someone’s life, could cost them everything they ever had and will have. he knows this — he’s experienced this first-hand. it’ll always lead to problems.

despite that, he’d still hesitate. he might just let you kill him, honestly, if it means he doesn’t have to lay a hand on you.

you’re precious to him. so very, very precious. more valuable than the six-eyes, more valuable than his infinity, more valuable than his reversed curse technique. it’s what makes him the strongest, what makes him him. but does being the strongest even matter if you’re not around for him to protect?

“ah.” a soft exhale, and in the darkness of the bedroom, satoru’s lips curve into a grin.

that’s why.

you could betray him, and he’d still love you. you could rip his heart from his chest, run it over with a semi-truck, bash it with a sledgehammer, and chop it up into twenty pieces, and he’d love you with everything else he has.