#kimalix

“Kim?” Max called from the kitchen, sending Kim’s already thudding heart leaping into his throat, “Is that you?”

“Um.” Kim cleared his throat, trying to force his heart back down to his ribcage, where it belonged. “Uh, y- yeah! What’s up?” He winced - he sounded terrible even to himself.

“You okay dude?” Alix’s head poked out of the kitchen and she looked at him curiously. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“I’m fine.” Kim nodded, lying through his teeth, reluctantly turning to head back towards the main area. “What’s cookin’?”

Kim had (mostly) pushed the incident from his head - okay, that’s a total lie, he thought about it all the time, and now that he saw it, he couldn’t unsee it. Alix and Max were clearly in a relationship. Or something. Really, the more he thought about it, the more confused he was.

On one hand, all of those little things - the soft looks, the little touches, all made sense. Because that’s how people who were dating acted. Marinette and Adrien acted that way, Alya and Nino acted that way, Juleka and Rose, Mylene and Ivan - examples were literally all around him, and Alix and Max fit right in.

On the other hand, nothing had changed. The three of them still hung out, still joked and laughed and cooked together. Max still talked in computer codes that went over their heads, and Kim and Alix still trained for their upcoming Ironman. Outside of the soft looks and occasional kisses, Kim couldn’t spot any differences in their relationship.

And he was looking for them. There were no sudden, gratuitous PDAs - they weren’t making out on park benches or sneaking into each other’s bedrooms, Max didn’t oogle Alix’s panties when he did laundry - it was just little things, like fond looks, a hand on a back or waist. Casual hand-holding in public, and Alix using them as chairs occasionally. In fact, the only thing he could see that Alix and Max did that they didn’t do with him was the kissing thing.

The monthly estrogen-fest formerly known as “Girl’s Night” had been cancelled - or, rather, not cancelled, so much as merged. Because by this point in their lives, gender stereotyping was pretty much moot: Juleka and Rose liked to discuss hot chicks as much as Nino and Kim, Adrien knew more about cosmetics than anyone except Juleka, and all of them liked pizza, alcohol and video games. Now it was just another night, where everyone got together and seemed to enjoy smearing things that should have been eaten on their faces while they lacquered colors onto toenails and annihilated each other in virtual combat.

So when Alix returned from making popcorn to find that her seat had been taken, she did what she had always done - she used someone else as a seat. Kim was sitting on the far end of the couch, waiting his turn for the controller as Max grunted and beat down Nathaniel in another bloody contest of button smashing. Alix marched around the back of the sofa and dropped unceremoniously down on top of Kim, swinging her legs up across Max’s lap, who raised the controller absently to allow her feet on top of him.

However, unlike the hundreds of other times that Alix had done this in the course of their friendship, this time Kim’s mind flashed back to that kiss in the kitchen, and he froze.

“Um, are you okay with this?” He mumbled, glancing at Max trepidatiously. After all, Max’s girlfriend was in his lap, not Max’s, casually rubbing her butt on his crotch while she wiggled into a comfortable position.

“What?” Max grunted, brow furrowing as his head turned, eyes still locked on the screen. “Um, yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Pretty sure Alix has been using you guys as furniture for most of her life by now, anyway.” Nino added from his place on the floor.

“Worried I’m going to turn you on, Kim?” Alix smirked, batting her eyelashes outrageously, arching her back and sprawling across the arm of the couch dramatically, while the bowl of popcorn wobbled precariously.

Kim’s eyes automatically went to the stretch of material across her chest, breasts pressing against her shirt as she breathed, and in his mind’s eye he saw her fresh out of the shower, creamy skin flushed with heat and glistening with moisture. It took everything he had to repress a shudder and remind himself that this was his best friend, and the girlfriend of his other best friend, and those thoughts were just wrong.

“Whatever mighty mouse,” Kim scoffed, and was proud of how even his voice sounded, “the only bone around here is your bony ass.”

Max snorted, and Alix scowled and shoved a handful of popcorn in Kim’s mouth. Nathaniel asked Max about some aspect of programming for digital media, Rose dropped a controller into Marinette’s lap, and the night went on as normal.

No, the familiar gestures didn’t stop, they just...deepened, as time went on, and Alix and Max somehow seemed to include him in them.

The three of them held hands - it was something they’d done as children, had grown out of as teens, and somehow circled back around to as adults. Now, if they were walking together and Alix reached out, twining her fingers with Max’s and swinging their arms dramatically, and Max reached out to slide his fingers between Kim’s, well, it was just friendly. And Max appreciated balance, so it would be weird to have one arm swinging and the other not, right?

The three of them cooked together. Not usually all at the same time (their kitchen was too small for that), but Kim hardly ever cooked dinner alone. Max would help chop vegetables, or Alix would sit on the counter handing him ingredients and telling him about her day. If Max or Alix cooked, then somebody else cleaned, and even if Kim’s name was on the roster, if was likely that Alix or Max would step into the kitchen to help dry, friendly banter and hip-checking and shoulder-rubbing was just part of the norm.

Honestly, by the time three months had passed since that first unintentional spying session, Kim had almost (almost) forgotten about it, dismissing it as a one-off thing, despite the casual intimacy of the whole event.

And then he walked in on them again.

This time there was no hiding. Kim opened the door to the apartment and there they were, Max’s mouth on Alix’s neck, bent over her as she arched into him like the heroine on the cover of a bodice-ripper novel, eyes closed and mouth open as she moaned wantonly into his ear.

Despite his occasional guilty late-night fantasies, something in Kim’s stomach curdled, souring at the thought that Alix could even do that. His skinny, flat-chested tomboy of a best friend should absolutely not be able to make such a sound. Let alone in response to anything his other best friend was doing.

“Max,” Alix groaned, pulling a shudder from Max as she pressed kisses along his jaw, “maybe we could-”

“No,” Max huffed, breathing harshly against the pale skin of Alix’s throat, “we promised. We’re waiting.”

‘For what?’ Kim thought, a touch hysterical as his messenger bag fell from numb fingers with a thump against the linoleum, ‘Marriage?’

Alix and Max jerked at the noise, two sets of guilty eyes turning to him in shock.

“Kim…”

Nope, Kim decided abruptly, turning and ducking back out the door. No, he could not do this. Not today, not right now. He could not watch his two best friends climb each other like trees and go on pretending that everything was alright. That they weren’t in a relationship with each other and confusing the hell out of him by looking at him and touching him and snuggling with him like nothing was happening and everything was strictly platonic.

Somehow, he wound up in the little pack near their old college, sitting on a bench with his head in his hands and wishing he could go back to a place where his life made sense.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Kim looked up to see Alya frowning down at him, lips pursed in concern.

“Ah…” Kim ran his hands through his hair, wincing as he realized he probably looked as much of a wreck as he felt. “I… walked in on Alix and Max.”

Alya stared at him, eyebrow hiking up.

“Kissing.” Kim elaborated. “They were kissing, and stuff.”

“Okay.” Alya nodded. “...And?”

“And?” Kim gaped at her. “Isn’t that shocking enough?”

Alya shrugged. “No? Yes? About time?”

“About time?” Kim felt vaguely like a parrot, or one of those stupid furry toys that looked creepy and repeated everything people said. “What do you mean ‘about time?’”

“We’ve all kind of been waiting for it.” Alya replied, but softened at the look on his face. “Did you really not know?”

“That my two best friends had a thing for each other?” Kim asked forlornly. Because, as selfish as it was, where did that leave him? He should be happy for them - he would be happy for them - but right now he just felt...cold. And lost. “Not… yes, kind of. But nothing had really changed?”

“That your two best friends…” Alya trailed off and squinted at him, then shook her head. “Where do you think that leaves you, Kim?”

“Odd man out?” Kim tried for a smile, but gave up and scrubbed a hand over his face instead. Alya sighed and sat down, sliding her arm over his shoulders consolingly.

“I don’t think that’s the case here.” She said.

“Are you kidding me?” Kim asked, head snapping around to stare at her. “They were climbing each other like trees! Alix was moaning. Alix was moaning!”

Alya’s lips twitched. “I have definitely watched Alix climb you like a tree before.”

“Yeah, because I was holding something over my head and she wanted it!” Kim retorted. “That was definitely not what was going on in the living room just now.”

“No?” Alya cocked her head to the side. “I mean, she could have just as easily kicked your knees out and gotten what she wanted, or just waited for your to get bored and hand it to her. Instead she chose to rub herself all over you as she wiggled her way up-”

“Okay, thank you Alya, I get it.” Kim felt his face burning.

“I don’t think you do.” Alya sounded more amused than anything else as she started ticking points off on her fingers. “I mean, you guys live together. You spend most of your time together, you feed each other, you sit on each other, you listen to each other’s nonsensical rants about things that you don’t really care about because they do. You guys sleep in each other’s beds. You snuggle. You hold hands.”

“You’re...taking things way out of context.” Kim said faintly. It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t. ...Was it? “We’re roommates. We’ve been best friends since we were little - of course we spend time together and we’re comfortable with each other. As your boyfriend has so helpfully pointed out, Alix has been using me and Max as furniture pretty much since we grew taller than her.”

“The bed sharing?” Alya raised her eyebrow.

“When we slept over each other’s houses as kids.” Kim shrugged. “When someone had a nightmare. When a bunch of people crashed at our place and we all bunked up together.”

“We all bunked up as couples.” Alya pointed out. “Alix could have piled in with Rose and Juleka. You could have slept on the floor. Instead, you three climbed into bed together like it was the most natural thing in the world for three grown-ass adults to do.”

“It’s...not like that.” Kim said at last.

“Then explain the hand holding.” Alya said, disbelief etched across her features.

“We’re French.” Kim huffed.

“I kiss Nathaniel’s cheeks, not his lips.” Alya snorted.

“I don’t kiss Max’s lips either.” Kim snapped.

“But do you want to?” Alya shot back.

Kim froze. Mercilessly, Alya reached out and yanked him to his feet.

“If I hold Marinette’s hand, I hold it like this.” She said sliding her palm against his and grasping his fingers. “When I see you holding hands with Alix or Max, it’s always like this.” She shifted, sliding her fingers between his and lacing them together.

Kim stared at the more intimate knot of their entwined hands, stretched between them, and was forced to acknowledge that despite it being how he held hands with both Alix and Max, with Alya the gesture felt...wrong. Too close, too intimate, for the casual relationship they were in.

“If I hold hands with Marinette, or Adrien, I’m doing it to lead them somewhere, or… casual comfort. An affirmation of friendship, I guess.” Alya shrugged. “But you hold hands with Max, or Alix, even when you’re not in those situations. Alix and Max hold hands with you when they don’t have to - they just do it because they want to. That’s how I hold hands with Nino.”

Closeness without purpose. Casual intimacy. It was the kind of things couples did. Kim knew that, even if he’d never outright acknowledged it. And if he did that with Max and Alix, well, that was just how they were. They’d never needed labels.

“It’s not like that.” The words felt hollow and brittle, a denial of fact as opposed to an affirmation of truth.

“But do you want it to be?” Alya asked.

It was only an hour or two later when Kim let himself back into the apartment, but it felt like he’d been gone for days. Wrung out and exhausted from shifting his entire world view in a matter of ninety minutes, realizing that the ground he’d been standing on for most of his life wasn’t as solid as he’d once thought...but also wasn’t as shaky as he feared.

It was his night to cook, but Max was standing in the kitchen, Alix balanced on the counter next to him, the two of them talking quietly as he stood in the doorway.

Alix caught sight of him first. “Kim.” She said, tensing.

Max’s head jerked as he shifted to follow her gaze, his eyes nervous as he stared at him.

“I need,” Kim licked his lips, shifted nervously. “I need… you to tell me what you want.”

Alix and Max traded indecipherable looks, and Max shoved his glasses further up his nose in a nervous gesture that belied his casual stance. He opened his mouth, closed it, and glanced at Alix nervously.

Alix’s lips quirked as she watched Max struggled, before turning back to Kim and squaring her shoulders.

“You.” She said firmly, chin hiking up defiantly. “We want you.”

“We’ve never needed labels to define who we are - what we are.” Max grumbled. “We’ve always been friends, and we’ll always be your best friends, but… we want more. If you’re amenable to that.”

“What do you want from me?” Kim demanded. It was obvious, to everyone if Alya were to be believed, what they wanted from him - what they all wanted from each other. But Kim needed clarity, proof of desires before he did something irrevocable.

“Come here and find out.” Alix stretched out her hand, eyes glinting challengingly.

Kim had never shied away from a challenge before, and he wasn’t going to start now. Squaring his own shoulders, Kim stepped up to the counter, grasping Alix’s hand and allowing her to pull him into her personal space, parting her knees to bring him even closer. Sitting as she was, she was slightly taller than him, and Kim tilted his chin to look her in the eye.

Alix grinned sharply, sliding her hand across the back of his neck as she pulled him in further and pressed her lips against his. Kim gripped her hips, hands shaking as his heart pounded. Even if this was Alix, the girl he’d known since he was four, this was still Alix who had been kissing Max just a little while ago. Max, who was his other best friend, who had been kissing Alix and-

Max slotted in behind him, hands sliding over Kim’s sides, tracing down the length of his forearms to rest his hands lightly over Kim’s. Max hooked his chin over Kim’s shoulder, pressing his lips to Kim’s cheek as Kim pressed his own lips against Alix’s, waiting patiently until Alix leaned back and Kim turned to face Max, half-afraid of what he would find there.

Max shifted, pressing against him as he leaned forward to touch their lips together, tilting his head to deepen the contact and leaving Kim breathless in the aftermath.

“I want you, too. Both of you. And I want you to want me.” The words were falling out of Kim’s mouth without his permission. “I want to know that I have a place with the two of you, and-”

“We do.” Max said. “We have, and you will always have a place with us, in whatever capacity.”

“We’ve been waiting for you to decide what that was.” Alix added.

“You’ve been waiting...for me?” The odd combination of relief and disbelief left Kim reeling, gripping Max and Alix harder to anchor himself.

“To decide what you wanted from us. With us.” Max nodded, smiling faintly.

“‘Bout time you caught up.” Alix grinned.