#killerpancakex

Bitch say my name you know how I am, I’m too hot

They've done it. They've finally done it. "Dicks out for Harambe."

Those snowballs were 44 pounds. That’s not a snowball fight, that’s manslaughter.

Getting lost in the grocery store as an adult

A blowjob. Give him a blowjob.

This game isn’t littered with typos or horrible translations like many JRPGs on the Playstation, though there are a few. I can imagine this line was meant to be a note or a placeholder. As in, the programmers used that line to indicate where at in the game the player would be, helping the translators and programmers understand what dialogue was supposed to be going there. The big question I have here is if this line of dialogue was actually in the Japanese version and accidentally got translated over to English, or if this was completely different in Japanese that the English programmers just oversought when finishing the game. I contacted the creator of Legend of Localization and hopefully they’ll be able to shed some light on this. If you have information on it, I’d like to know!

Can’t feel my face man

I work at a large liquor store/truck stop. It’s basically a one-stop shop for people traveling. Food, gas, lottery, beer/wine/liquor, souvenirs, and everything in between. About 2 of your everyday gas stations could fit inside this store. I love my regular customers and the vast majority of our customers as a whole. Since this is a “mom and pop” shop (meaning we are not owned by a corporation, the owners are two brothers that are in the store working a collective 100 hours a week themselves), we have most of our own guidelines and etiquette in place. I’m not saying that we can do or say whatever we want to customers when they are being rude, but we have much more leeway than your average Speedway does. But in the year that I have been working there, there are a list of things that I wish I could say to the rude-asses or otherwise morons that walk through my door and open their pie-holes with the most ridiculous things. Of course a lot of the time they just don’t “know any better”, but let’s set a few simple things straight with a nice list. 1. I do not set the prices on anything in our store. Sure, I give my input here and there (which is actually taken into consideration), but 99.9% of the prices set in my store are not my idea. That being said, I don’t want to hear you bitching at me about how something might be a bit more expensive than what you’re willing to pay. I have little to no power over that. Please take that up with one of the owners. I guarantee you are not going to make it much further, though. 2. The law is the law; no alcohol past 2 AM. Ever wonder why bars have that thing called “Last Call” at 1:30 AM or so? That’s because we are not legally allowed to serve alcohol past 2 AM. Without a rather special permit, anyway. Serving alcohol after 2 AM is a huge no-no in this industry, and can cost oodles of money in fines, and a lot of times our jobs. Also, don’t try to bribe us. That’s a good way to piss us off. Which leads me to point #3... 3. No amount of money you attempt to bribe with will work. Here’s the kicker: this store is not going to get shut down because you wanted your case of beer at 2:05 AM and offered me a crisp $20 bill in exchange. We are not going to break the law for you, or anyone else. I don’t care if mother fucking Barack Obama walks into my store asking for beer after 2 AM: I am trained to abide the laws. I’m even more trained to deal with people who try to push the envelope. We take zero shit and have zero tolerance for your kind. Want your beer past 2 AM? Offer me twice what the store and it’s inventory is worth. I won’t tell you the estimation on that, because chances are you won’t earn that in your entire life. Get here quicker next time, tool. 4. This is not a pawn shop Yes, that item is $3.99. Yes, I know it’s $2.99 in other stores. No, I will not give it to you for $2.99. You will pay what the price tag says, end of discussion. As said before, if you want to try and get a discount, take it up with the owners, not me. Being a manager means I have a touch more power than a regular employee...but realistically not much. I do have a little more authority to tell you to get the fuck out, but that’s about it. And I love using that power. 5. This store is not a political statement. You know what? I said it before, but we sell a wide variety of items. More than I care to admit. Among those items are things like bumper stickers, novelty license plates, and keychains that have both Democratic and Republican-leaning sayings. We do not care if you are offended by one of them. Does that gun-toting sticker offend you? Does the depiction of Obama doing something good for this country set off your Conservative bullshit alarm? Tough. We do not give two shits about politics in this store. We carry these items because people get a good chuckle out of them, and some of them purchase them. That’s awesome. I personally am moderate with Liberal leanings when it comes to politics, but you don’t see me scoffing at someone buying a “Trump For President” bumper sticker, all the while riding his dick all the way out of my store. Conversely, I don’t see someone purchasing a “Feel The Bern” keychain and cheering them on for buying it. I have a job to do. My political views are on the back burner. 6. If you have a habit of not keeping your I.D on you, you are a fucking idiot. Buying a pack of cigarettes when you look like you just got off of the bus from Middle School? Let me see that I.D. The amount of people I get that say “oh I left it at home” piss me off. You have absolutely no reason not to carry your identification at all times. Didn’t you just drive here? I saw you get out of the driver’s seat of a vehicle. Driving without a license isn’t the best idea, you know. Assuming you ARE of age, are you that conceited about your appearance that it’s absurd for you to be carded? Do you just never get carded? Interesting, considering you look like you’re 16, and that’s being generous. You are going into a store to buy a product that has an age requirement. You drove here and came in knowing what you wanted to buy. Not having your I.D is an excuse only if you’re were trying to purchase them illegally, or you are dipshit. In my experience, it’s roughly 50/50. 7. You will be carded if I decide to card you. I see hundreds of faces every single day. Many regulars, many “casuals”, and many first-timers. I remember a lot of them, and I forget a lot of them. That being said, I don’t care if I carded you last week. I’m carding you now, deal with it. I work in a business where getting busted selling tobacco/alcohol to minors means I get fined/jailed, and the owners of the store have to fight for their livelihood. I’ve been trained, and I train all of our new employees the same way: when in doubt, card. If you have an inkling that you’ve never carded them, or they could be not of legal age to purchase the product in question, you ask for I.D. Better safe than sorry. So, your snide comments like “come on you carded me yesterday” or “I’ve been shopping here for years and I’ve never been carded” does not mean shit to me. I’m 23 years old, coming up on 24. The vast majority of people I ask to guess my age overestimate. I’ve been mistaken to be as old as someone in their early 30′s. Crazy, right? People look older than they appear. And if you’re not someone that comes on a regular basis, chances are I’ve forgotten your face. I’m sorry. Show me your I.D. There’s so much more, but I’m going to leave this here. I’m sure my fellow customer service employees can agree with me on these. Have a grand evening.